Stranger in Dadland (12 page)

“Huh?”

“Liz,” I said, “why don’t cannibals eat clowns?”

“Why?” she asked with a giggle ready in her voice. Liz loves jokes, the dumber the better. When I told her the punch line, she burst out laughing. I knew she’d tell it to Jet the second she got off the phone.

I hung up, smiling.

The next morning I helped Dad hop out to the living room. Then I made him some eggs. There was no trace of the mess Beau and I had made in the kitchen. Cora must’ve cleaned it the day before. I almost felt guilty, but then I figured she owed it to me—she’d never paid back my two dollars.

When Dad reached for the TV remote, I snatched it away from him. “Hey!” he said.

Beau appeared at the door with a plate of muffins from his mom.

“My cab’ll be here in forty-five minutes,” I said, hinting that Beau should split.

He got it and did an immediate about-face. “I’ll be back in forty-three,” he said.

“Wait!” I said. “Hey, Dad, how ’bout giving Beau a key, just in case?” I turned to Beau. “That’ll be your what, seventh, besides your own?”

Dad agreed, so I gave Beau mine. If anyone had told me a week ago that I’d be giving Beau the key to my dad’s apartment—or for that matter that I’d be the one to tell Dad to make up with
Cora
—well, I
really
would’ve thought they were nuts. Weird week in Dadland, that’s for sure.

“I’ll need that key back in December,” I said. “When I come.”

“Cool!” Beau said, and banged out the door.

Soon it was time. Dad was stuck in his chair, so the good-bye was up to me. I decided, What the heck, and went over. I handed Dad back his remote, then knelt down and gave him a hug. Dad thumped me on the back a couple of times, then grabbed me and hugged me back for real.

Beau walked me downstairs to wait for my cab. “I’ll keep an eye on two sixteen,” he said.

“Thanks,” I said. “Call or e-mail if anything comes up, okay?” I gave him my info. I’d written Iris’s phone number down too, and when Beau’s eyes got to it, I saw him start to blush.

Then Eric appeared around the corner and came straight for us. What new abuse would he trot out this time? I wondered. But he did something I never would’ve predicted: He smiled at me. And, as if that weren’t weird enough, he said, “Hey, man, is it true you know Chet Carter?”

“Yeah,” I answered.

My taxi pulled up.

“So what’s he like? Like, what kinda guy is he?” Eric asked.

“He’s really nice,” I said.

The driver opened the trunk and I put my suitcase in.

“I was wondering,” Eric said, looking almost nervous, “if you’d, like, give him a tape of mine to, like, listen to or something. Let me know what he thinks, maybe.”

I looked from Eric to Beau, then back at Eric. “Sure,” I said. “Why don’t you have Beau mail it to me sometime and I’ll do that?”

“I could run upstairs and grab a tape right now,” Eric said.

I pointed to the cab. “Sorry. I gotta go.”

“It’ll just take a second,” Eric whined.

I opened the car door and got in, saying, “Just get my address from Beau.”

Then I saluted Beau, whose smile was even bigger and goofier than usual, and shut the door behind me. As we pulled away from the curb, I thought, Yesss! Now Eric has
got
to be nice to Beau. I hoped Beau would hold out for a l-o-n-g time. Years! Make Eric grovel, beg for my address. Ha! Wait till I tell Theo!

First I was just grinning, but then I started laughing. And then I couldn’t stop. It turned into a full-blown screaming meemie attack right there in the cab. But the driver didn’t bat an eye. Maybe people got hysterical alone in L.A. taxis all the time.

After I’d calmed down some, I gradually realized that Ditz wasn’t going to greet me when I got home, and now I was going to have to face that. I told myself that maybe I’d blotch like Beau. Maybe I’d sob the way Iris said Cora did. Maybe I’d be stone-faced like Dad. But one way or another, I’d be okay—more or less, eventually, probably.

I’d never taken a cab alone before. Never gotten myself to the airport, checked my suitcase, or found my gate all by myself. But it went off without a hitch.

As soon as I sat down, a flight attendant crouched next to
me and said, “If you need anything, young man, you just let me know. Okay?”

I almost told her I wasn’t as young as I looked—almost said, “My dad was short too, till high school.” But I heard Beau’s voice in my head saying, “Harsh! Harsh words on an airplane!”

So I smiled at the attendant. “Thanks,” I said. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. Just fine.”