Strapped Down (12 page)

“I can’t. I can’t bring them into this.”

“They may be the key.”

He’s right, Taylor may not be of any help, but Taylor’s father had to have known her body was never found and he intentionally kept that information from his son. But I don’t have the nerve to send a P.I. to Taylor’s father, that would really be overstepping my bounds.

“That has to be an absolute last resort. I can’t bring this back without knowing she is alive first. It would be too painful, dealing with her death all over again.”

“Well my next step is to find out the identity of the child’s father. Even though he was not part of the cult, he may know something.”

“No, you can’t go there.”

“You’re really narrowing my field here.”

“Please trust me here, we need fresh information.”

“Just because he’s old news doesn’t mean he doesn’t have fresh information.”

“He is on that list of people we don’t touch until we have exhausted every other person who was in C.O.S. I know it’s difficult with all the name changing and the moving around the country, but there are people out there that have to know something.”

“Okay. We’ll do it your way, but this could be a long haul.”

“I understand, and thank you.” As we are about to hang up, I remember a clue.

“Wait, there is something I can tell you. The person who saved the child, she was a close friend of Lyla’s it seems. She had long brown hair. Maybe you can ask if anyone knows who she was.”

“Yes, that’s helpful. I did find reports about a woman discovering the scene, her name was Marie Portero. It looks like her whereabouts are unknown at this point too. She definitely left the state, so I am trying to track her down as well. These survivors are a close-knit group and I am beginning to think they helped both of these women disappear, but again, this is all a hunch.”

I make my way downstairs feeling uneasy about this whole C.O.S investigation. Maybe some questions are better left unanswered, but I feel in my gut that unraveling this mystery can help Taylor. If his mother went through great lengths to protect him, he needs to know. But what if after all this, Taylor doesn’t care or loses his trust in me? Am I trying to help him resolve the pain of his past, or trying to satisfy a morbid curiosity? At this point, I am too deep in this investigation to let it go. I need to know what happened to Lyla and I sincerely feel Taylor does too.

CHAPTER TEN

Giddiness and excitement permeates in the air as we all wheel our luggage to the jet. Lizzy insisted that we all wear giant sun hats, so Kristin and I comply. I match mine up with a black sundress with big bright flowers of various colors, a pair of wedge espadrilles, and a large pair of black sunglasses.

“Don’t you look glamorous,” Taylor said when he saw me emerge from the bedroom dressed and ready to go.

He is quiet during the ride to the airport, but when we emerge from the SUV and he sees both Lizzy and Kristin wearing enormous hats as well, he turns to me and asks: “Let me guess, Lizzy’s idea?”

“How did you know?” I asked.

“Because I do,” he says with a cocked eyebrow.

Chad and Kristin look happy and comfortable together. This is the first time Chad and Henry will meet each other and I wondered if there would be any tension, but Henry uses his gregarious nature to make Chad comfortable and so he seems to be none the wiser about Kristin and Henry’s one night stand.

Before taking off, I text my mother, just to let her know I’ll be out of town.

Me:

Just an FYI. I will be out of town for a few days. Going on vacation to Costa Rica.

Mom:

With Taylor?

Me:

Yes. Kristin and a bunch of others too.

Mom:

Okay, well have fun and stay safe.

Something is off about her. I can’t put my finger on it, but she hasn’t been herself since I last saw her. I think it’s because she saw the cuts, but her usual tactic would be to flood me with concern. Instead, she has been short and dare I say, avoidant. It’s usually me dodging the phone calls or concerns.

Chad and I devote most of our plane ride to working. In fact, almost all of us do. Once we land, we are driven to the Arenal area where we will be staying. We arrive at an opulent mansion on the hillside with beautiful views of the volcano. Even having been exposed to so much luxury since I met Taylor, it’s hard not to be in awe of this palatial home. The ceilings must be thirty feet high, with marble floors and colossal white columns that lead to a seemingly endless infinity pool overlooking the mountainside and volcano.

We all agree to immediately change into swimsuits and take advantage of the beautiful pool and deck.

I pull the tags off of my new royal-blue bandeau bikini. “You’re gonna give Henry a seizure,” Taylor says when he gives me the once over.

“That is such old news,” I say, checking out my butt in the mirror.

“No, he still thinks your hot and he’s a perv. I don’t blame him though.”

“It’s not like we all didn’t go skinny dipping together.”

“Yeah, but it was dark.”

“You’re not jealous are you?”

“I don’t mind people looking, I was just making an observation. Besides, you know I like to get a little jealous, it gets me fired up.”

I grab my sun hat and sunglasses and walk out to the pool. Taylor stays
out of
the fray, sitting quietly on a lounge chair with his laptop. I understand the perks of his life come with huge challenges such as always needing to be connected, but something about him seems off today. Besides a few comments about my hat and bikini, he hasn’t said much to me all morning. Instead of pestering him, I give him space and instead hang out with the people who want to have some fun instead. Henry, Kristin and Chad are already at the pool so I join them. The butler — cabana-man — I am not sure what to call him
--
brings us drinks as we discuss our plans for what to do during our stay.
As I chat with the gang, Lizzy comes out and sits next to Taylor. She leans in to talk to him and he puts his laptop aside and has a very engaged conversation with her. I attempt to eavesdrop, but promptly notice they are speaking in French. Taylor and Lizzy have never done that before, exclusively spoken French in the presence of the rest of us, and while we are not in the same conversation, it irks me.

He’s been quiet all morning, not saying a word since we have arrived except to point out that his friend thinks I am hot, but here he is engaging with Lizzy to the point of excluding the rest of us by speaking another language. They then both stand up and enter the house. I refuse to act jealous by following them, and I know they don’t see each other that way, but I am so used to Taylor’s attentiveness that seeing him place it on any other woman makes me uneasy. I turn my attention back the conversation at the pool and another hour passes, then another half hour and they are nowhere to be seen.

We all agree to shower and head out to a restaurant together, emerging from the pool and entering the house all at once. Taylor and Lizzy are in a deep conversation and abruptly stop and disengage when we all enter. I begin to seethe. This is our first vacation together as a couple and he seems to be more interested in spending time with Lizzy than me. I walk directly to our bedroom without saying a word to him.

He follows a few minutes later. “It looks like we will be leaving in an hour,” he says.

“I know,” I respond in a short tone.

“Something wrong?”

“Nope,” but my tone says it all.

“Okay, so something is wrong. Are you going to tell me, or are you going to beat around the bush about it?”

“I would just like to get ready for dinner if that’s okay with you.”

“So are you going to be short with me all night?”

I grab my things and go directly into the bathroom without responding, but he follows me.

“This isn’t fair, you need to tell me what I’ve done if you’re upset with me.”

“I don’t need to do anything.” I am sort of enjoying pulling his strings to get his attention even if it’s in a childish manner.

“How much have you had to drink?” His question only fuels my anger.

“Of course that could be the only reason I could be upset with you, Mr. Perfect.”

“Wow Shyla, I am not sure what I did to make you this upset…”

“That’s the problem!”

“So I am supposed to be a mind-reader?”

“Why don’t you go talk to Lizzy, maybe she can help you figure it out!”

I watch his face as my comment registers. It changes from despondent, to a grin, to all out keeled over laughter. Between laughs he gets out a response. “Wait, so you’re jealous of me and Lizzy?” He laughs some more, as my cheeks flush red with embarrassment at how silly he is making me feel.

“It’s not funny.”

“I’m sorry. Yes, it is.”

“Well I am so glad I could humor you,” I say trying to hold back a smile, his unusual laughter is contagious and is flushing out my anger against my will.

“You’ve been quiet all day, and then right when we get here, you two go off and have Francophone quality time. Sorry that I was hoping to have some time with you.”

“It has nothing to do with us. Lizzy just wanted to bounce some things off of me.” I don’t say a word back. “You know, I have to get you jealous more often, you get really cute when you’re angry,” he says walking out of the bathroom.

“Just let me borrow your creepy journal of sluts, that’ll give me tons of fuel.”
Oops, that wasn’t very nice.

Taylor’s eyes widen and his smile disappears. “Low blow,” he says in a firm tone, closing the door behind him. Well fuck, now
he’s pissed
. When I exit the bathroom, Taylor passes me without saying a word;
now this is the silent treatment
. Man can he get icy, I mean I feel an actual drop in temperature as he passes me. We both quietly ride to the restaurant, avoiding conversation with one another, while engaging in conversation with others. Usually when Taylor gets quiet, he is universally so. Everyone just chalks it up to Taylor being Taylor, but tonight the fact that he is not off by himself having some quiet time is a clear signal that he is sending me a message. Surprisingly, Lizzy is pretty quiet too. She didn’t spend any time with us in the pool and has been quietly downing wine in the car.

We arrive at an open air steakhouse in La Fortuna and promptly place our orders. As soon as the waiter walks away, a giant toad hops its way into the restaurant and over to us as some of the group tries to snap pictures on their phones.

“Okay guys, I’m sorry, but I have to get this out,” Lizzy blurts. Everyone at the table turns to her and goes silent. “Kristin, Chad, I’m sorry if you feel weird about this, but I didn’t want to exclude you from this dinner even though we just started getting to know each other.”

I look at Taylor to get some sort of reaction from him, wondering what it is that Lizzy wants to tell us. He keeps his eyes on her.

Henry looks clueless and just as confused as I feel.

Lizzy takes a deep breath, her eyes water.

“Lizzy, please tell us, you’re making me nervous,” I plead, fearing some terrible news.

She takes a big dramatic gulp and looks up before saying: “Guys, I am going to have a baby!”

Henry almost spits out his beer.

We all look around at one another, bewildered, except for Taylor, of course.

“Are you pregnant?” I ask.

“Not yet. I have been planning this, Taylor already knows because I’ll eventually have to take some time off.” And now I feel like a giant raging hemorrhoid for giving him a hard time about spending the afternoon talking to Lizzy.

“Planning?” I ask.

“Yes, I am almost 36. I’m not getting any younger, and I don’t think I’ll ever find that guy, you know. I like being on my own. And even If I do, it might be too late. I have always wanted to be a mother and I have accomplished all the other things I wanted with my life. This is the one thing that has been missing. I don’t need a man to be a mother because I have an amazing network of friends and family and I include you all in that group. I know I won’t be alone in this. That’s why I wanted to share this with you. I’ll be getting a donor and going through hormones and stuff and I wanted you all to know if I start acting like a hormonal psycho bitch.”

“Well, I am happy for you, and I am so looking forward to becoming an auntie,” I say, getting up to give her a hug. Henry is suspiciously quiet and I can only think he is taking some time to digest everything. They have always been partners in crime together, but when she has a baby, things will change big-time.

We all toast to her announcement; Henry seems to do so begrudgingly.

“Since I won’t be able to have wild fun anymore…we need to live it up on this vacation!” Lizzy proclaims. We barrage Lizzy with curious questions about her plans, when about halfway through the meal, Henry excuses himself from the table.
Everyone goes silent,
as
the sound of his chair sliding against the floor is like a nonverbal protest. We all give befuddled looks
to
one another
,
unsure if anyone should follow him.

After a few minutes, Lizzy, who is visibly distracted by Henry’s absence, excuses herself from the table to talk to him. Shortly after we all head back to the house. The mood in the car is different on the way back since there is now more than one silent treatment being dosed out in the car. Kristin and Chad, innocent bystanders caught up in the awkwardness, also sit in silence. When we return to the house, Kristin and Chad announce they are going to the hot tub while the rest of us retreat to our bedrooms.

Taylor is unbuttoning his shirt when I enter. I close the door behind me.

“So let me guess. You knew all along?”

“Yup,” he says not looking in my direction.

“And you were quiet because you wanted to tell me but couldn’t.”

“Uh huh,” he says pulling off his shirt.

I walk closely to him with my head down. “I’m sorry,” I say as cutely as possible, turning on the baby-faced look.

“You don’t trust me and I’m not sure you ever will.”

“Of course I do. Just because someone expresses that they are feeling upset about something, doesn’t mean they don’t trust you.”

“Well, you pretty much tried to blame me for Em’s death. Then you thought, I don’t know, that Lizzy and I were, what? Fucking around?”

“No!”

“I was just jealous. I was being needy. I like having all of your attention. It’s greedy, I know.”

“I was trying to be a good friend and boss. She wanted to be the one to tell you. You’re the one who has told me I should be available to the people who care about me.”

“I know.”

“But you throw stuff in my face. Stuff that is important to me, stuff that I only share with you. You use it as a way to push my buttons. I know the game Shy. I can play the game, and the reason it pushes my buttons is because you are the only person who can do that. Otherwise, I would not give a half a shit. There is a reason the list of people before you is long. What you pulled in there would’ve gotten any other girl her own personal hotel room away from me during this trip and she would have never seen me again. That right there should remove any insecurities you have about whatever scenarios you have built up in your head.”