She was speechless, her mind racing in circles, trying to
make sense of what she’d just heard. She couldn’t find any words, so she shook
her head. Silently trying to convey to him that it wasn’t enough.
He kept talking. “It’s no excuse, but I’d been waiting for
it. It was too good between us, I felt too much. I had this feeling that
somethin’ bad was goin’ to happen, so when Bethany showed up, it felt…expected.
I could never understand what you saw in me. Why you would stay with me, so it
made more sense that you wouldn’t. I’m sure that was a residual from Karen, my
own fears talking. It probably won’t matter, but I knew I was wrong even as I
said the words. I wanted to call them back, never have said them, even while I
was still screaming them at you.”
When he finally looked into her eyes again she knew he'd see
the tears rolling silently down her cheeks. Again, his hands came up. Slowly,
he used his thumb to wipe a tear from her cheek. “Jess, please don’t cry. I
didn’t mean to make you cry.” He backed up a step. “I’ll go, okay? I just…you
needed to know. I didn’t mean it. Not any of it.”
He had his hand on the door knob before she managed to
whisper, “Why didn’t you trust me?”
He looked back at her and Jess could see the pain in his
eyes. She finally noticed what she had refused to see when he first got here.
Dark shadows under his eyes, weight loss. He looked terrible. Terrible, and
perfect.
In answer to her question, he just shook his head, looking
confused.
“Why didn’t you trust that I wouldn’t hurt you? I know why
you believed Bethany, it’d happened before, but you should have trusted
me
.
I’m not Karen.”
He finally found his voice. “I’m jealous. Possessive.
Whatever you want to call it.” He laughed softly, wryly. “Apparently I come by
it naturally. According to my mother, my father’s the same way.” He looked back
into her eyes. “You have no idea how beautiful you are Jess. Every male on the
ranch is half in love with you, including Ben. Cody and Mike, if you so much as
winked at them, they’d be at your feet. I just couldn’t stand it. I thought
that if we got engaged, when you wore my ring then this crazy urge to claim
you, to make you mine would ease up. By the time Bethany got there, I’d already
made myself crazy.”
Jess listened to his words, her heart breaking for both of
them even as hope leapt into her throat. “When I wore your ring?” Her voice was
barely more than a whisper.
His eyes bore into hers. “I’d reserved a room in Evanston.
Dinner reservations, a couples’ massage, a spa day for you.” He ran his hand
over his face, settling it back into a fist on his hip. “For the following
weekend.”
“You never said anything.” She looked up at him, feeling the
tears rushing down her face now. “I didn’t know. I would’ve told you about the
business if I’d known.”
A fresh wave of pain rushed across his face. “Why did you
tell Cody, but not me?”
“You’d never talked about the future. I didn’t want to rush
you.” She looked up, searching his eyes as she asked, “Would it have mattered?
Or would you still have believed her?”
She could tell he was searching, trying to make sure he gave
her an honest answer. She knew the moment he’d decided. “I wouldn’t have
believed her. I didn’t believe her when she first told me.”
“Then why? What convinced you?”
“She said she saw you kissing him. It just brought back too
many memories.”
She saw guilt join the pain in his eyes. As much as she
longed to ease his pain, and hers, he needed to understand. “Jake, I won’t hide
who I am, what I look like. Not again, not ever. It took me too long to accept
it.” She thought briefly of the fight with her mother when she’d refused to
hide anymore. It had been ugly. Her mother hadn't spoken to her for weeks
afterward. Her own personal comfort with herself was a hard won battle she
wasn't about to give up. “I just can’t.”
Suddenly he was right in front of her, taking her hands in
his. “Jess, I would never want you to. Seeing you emerge, become comfortable in
your own skin, was amazing. Look, I can’t promise I won’t get possessive, I can
almost guarantee that at some point I will. But I promise that I will always
trust
you
.”
“And, the next time Bethany, or someone else tells you I’ve
done something you don’t like. Because, I’m sure I will. We won’t always agree,
Jake.”
Behind the sad resolution in her voice, Jake thought he
heard just a twinge of hope. The same hope he was starting to feel. “Then I’ll
ask. I’ll ask
you
, what really happened.” Jake paused, letting that sink
in. “And Bethany will never be a problem again. I told her off at the party.”
Jess looked up, surprise clear in her eyes. “You did what?”
Jake laughed, a bit embarrassed. “She called you a trollop.
Who even uses that word? And I kind of lost it. I told her to get off my land
and out of my life. I guess I caused quite a scene.” He kind of grimaced.
“Apparently my temper comes from my father too.”
When he looked at Jess to see how she’d react to that, he
was surprised to see her laughing. Silently, but vigorously.
“I would’ve paid money to see that.”
The money thing reminded Jake about her family. “Jess, why
didn’t you tell me about your family?”
Jess looked confused. “I did. I told you all about them.”
Jake nodded. “Except who they were.”
“Yeah, about that…”
“Didn’t you trust
me
?” That thought had occurred to
him late last night. Maybe that was why she didn’t tell him about her dad. “I
kept waiting for you to invite me back for your sister’s delivery, to meet your
family, but you never mentioned it. They wouldn’t approve of me for you, would
they?”
“God, Jake. No! I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you
to think differently of me.”
"Why would I think differently of you?"
“I felt at home on the ranch. I was finally happy just being
me. And it was enough. I was afraid that if you knew who my family was, you
would expect me to be different. But I don’t fit with them, never have. And I
didn’t invite you for Dana’s delivery because it was a nightmare. It was my
parent’s first grandchild, and my dad’s running for office, so of course, the
delivery was nothing more than a press junket. A photo op of the ‘happy
family’. If you had come, you would have been all over the news, Jessica
Wythe’s new beau. I didn’t think you’d want that.”
Jake thought about the pictures he’d seen when he’d Googled
her family. The family smiling and laughing at the hospital. The obviously
tired, and yet perfectly coiffed, new mother. Jess standing next to her. It had
never occurred to him, until that moment, that it was staged. In his world, a
new baby was celebrated, but the cameras weren’t for the newspaper, they were
for memories. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt like he should apologize again.
Jess flopped down on the couch. The anger seemed to be gone,
now she just looked exhausted. When Jake came and sat beside her, she didn’t
complain.
“I think I may have been partly at fault. I guess I never
gave you any reason to trust me, did I?” She was staring down at the floor, but
Jake could tell she was startled, shocked by her own revelation.
He couldn’t let her take the blame. “Jess, honey, no. I
should’ve trusted you. You would’ve told me when you were ready. I didn’t know
who they were, but I knew your family was a problem for you. That should’ve
been enough.”
He reached over and took her hand in his, grateful when she
didn't pull away. When she closed her fingers over his, Jake knew. His mom was
right. She loved him enough to forgive him. His heart soared as peace flooded
through his body. “So, do you think you can ever forgive me?”
She looked into his eyes. “I already have. Can you forgive
me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive. But, we need to be more honest
with each other. If you’re running off out of town, please tell me. And if I’m
getting jealous for some reason, I’ll tell you instead of doubting you.”
She nodded. “There’s just one thing. You have no reason to
be jealous. I’m yours, Jake. I have been since before I met you. You were why I
waited.”
Jake pulled her to him, unable to stop himself, dragging her
onto his lap, just to have her near him again. “You are mine. Always. And I’m
yours. Never have I belonged to anyone else. You have my heart. Please be
careful with it.”
She pressed her lips softly to his. “Always.”
Jake wanted to take the kiss deeper, felt the drugging need
surge through his body. But there was something to do first. He pulled his
mouth away, twisting Jess on his lap, making certain attributes pulse against
her. He fought to stay focused as he reached into his pocket.
When he pulled the ring out, he heard her suck in her
breath. Jake looked at her, holding her eyes with his. “I had planned to do
this more traditionally. We both know how well that worked out. So, now I’m
just goin’ to ask. Jess, I’m jealous, possessive and my temper is atrocious. At
some point, I will say something to hurt you, though I won’t do it
intentionally. I will have to beg your forgiveness. But, I promise to love you,
with every cell in my body, until the day I die. I need you, more than my next
breath. Please, say you’ll marry me.” He waited, holding his breath until she
finally answered.
“Jake, I’ll forgive you, just as you’ll forgive me. When you
yell, I’ll yell right back. If you can handle me,
my
temper,
and my crazy family, then yes, I’ll marry you. Our lives will never be boring.”
Jake grinned like a kid, sliding the ring onto her finger.
“This is finally where it belongs.” He kissed her, quick and hard, then pulled
back, still grinning. “So, how about we get married tomorrow?” Jake felt her
tense, a pensive expression crossing her face. “Or not. I just don’t want to
wait long.”
“Is this still some sort of insecurity? I’m not going
anywhere Jake, I promise.”
* * * * *
“No. No doubts, Jess.” His voice was calmer. Instead of
fear, it was full of longing. “It has been too long since you’ve been in our
house, in our bed. I just don’t want to wait any longer.”
She kissed him, pressing her mouth hotly against his, trying
to take the sting out of her next words. “We need to wait, at least a month or
so.”
She saw his scowl and rushed to reassure him. “I’ll be in
your bed, Jake, starting tonight if you’ll have me. But we need to wait a bit.
I don’t even want to announce the engagement, until after the elections in
November. I want a small wedding, not the circus event my parents would put
together, with the cameras and publicity. I haven’t even invited my parents to
see the business yet. They would turn it into some sort of social event for my
dad’s campaign. Just like Dana’s baby.”
Jake was silent for a minute and then a mischievous grin lit
up his face. “They’ve never been out here?”
“No! Are you kidding?” She was horrified at even the
thought.
Now he grinned like a maniac. “I have an idea.”
She wiggled around on his lap, straddling him, hoping to
remind him of another idea. “So do I, but mine doesn’t involve my parents.” She
pressed her lips to his, sliding her tongue teasingly across his lower lip,
letting it slip inside, just for a second.
“I meant a different idea, but I like yours better.” He
plunged his mouth against hers, delving inside, grabbing her hips to press her
closer. “God, I’ve missed you. I thought I’d die when you left.”
He pressed urgent kisses, hot and moist, against her neck,
her collar bone. His hands sliding from her hips down to her butt, cupping the
firm round cheeks.
Jess bit her lip, barely holding back her plea of “Now.” She
wanted him, needed him, but wanted to draw this out, too, to prolong the
pleasure of their reunion. When Jake pulled her shirt up and off, tossing it
across the room, she heard his groan.
“Your…bra. Black. So damn sexy.” His words were followed by
his mouth skimming the baby pink ribbon edge of her black lace bra. His thumb
grazed the ruched tip pressing against the lace.
Pulling his gaze back to hers, with a sly grin she said,
“Wait until you see the panties.”
When she’d left Jake, she’d thrown out every piece of
lingerie she’d owned and most of her clothing, wanting to be rid of all reminders
of him. As she’d replaced it, the lingerie had become sexier, slinkier, with a
lot less fabric than before. The jeans were lower, the shirts a better fit. Not
tight, just the right size instead of too big. The panties for this set were a
tiny patch of black lace, with a little pink bow placed strategically over her
most sensitive spot. The rest was simply lace-covered elastic in a g-string.
She thought he might like them.
Jess pulled herself off his lap, having to remove his hands
from her breasts to do so, and stood before him, slowly unbuttoning her jeans.
Sliding down the zipper to offer a teasing glimpse of what was below. She
kicked off her sandals and wiggled out of the jeans, tossing them to join the
shirt.
Jakes breath hissed through his teeth at the sight of her
standing there. She was thrilled to know he liked the new wardrobe. Even more
so when he reached forward and tugged her toward him. He nestled his finger
through her curls, tracing downward to slide into her folds, stopping for one flick
over her aching center before continuing farther. When he reached her sheath,
he groaned. “So wet. Hot. God, you make me ache.”
He was touching her with one hand, one finger, and Jess felt
her legs going weak. When his finger dipped inside, teasing her, she thought
she was going to faint. When he delved, plunging deep and hard, Jess shattered,
her orgasm surprising them both as it coursed through her.
As she came on his hand, it seemed to snap his control. He
grabbed her hips, pulling her back onto his lap to straddle him while he
pressed her body against his. He unhooked her bra while she lifted his shirt,
needing the skin to skin contact.. When she brushed her nipples across his
chest he sighed, “Yes…” as he squeezed her ass, thrusting against her again.
“Need you. Inside you.”