Strictly Friends? (20 page)

Partners for life . . . was it, perhaps,
more
than dancing that they shared? Did she, deep down, have feelings for him? Feelings that she had never really admitted were there?

Danny had been wrong for her; she could see that now. He was exciting and fresh and new, but he didn't care about people around him. He hadn't cared about
Megan's feelings; her hopes and dreams. Whereas Jake had always shared them, rejoiced in them – mainly because they had always been the same dreams as his. She couldn't imagine life without him.

Oh goodness!
Megan bit her lip as she stared out of the car window.
Do I like Jake as more than just a friend? Have I been completely and utterly blind? Was there a moment in the past when I should have said or done something different?

‘Why are you shaking your head?' Her dad's voice broke into her thoughts.

‘Was I? Oh – oh, no reason.'

But there
was
a reason. Megan had been thinking that even if she did feel more for Jake than friendship, there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.

Because one thing was for certain: Jake was two hundred miles away and it was far too late to change things now.

‘. . .
AND SO I
said that if they didn't put me in for the exam, I wouldn't dance in the Christmas Show,' finished Suki.

‘Huh?'

Suki frowned. ‘Megan, weren't you listening? I was saying I wouldn't do the show.'

‘Which show?'

‘The one at Christmas.' Suki looked cross. ‘You didn't hear a word I said, did you?'

‘Sorry.' Megan rubbed her eyes. ‘I was choreographing the jive last night and then I couldn't get to sleep for ages.'

‘You don't listen very well, do you?' commented Suki waspishly. ‘Friends are supposed to listen to each other.'

Megan thought this was a bit rich, coming from Suki, who never seemed to listen to anything Megan said! ‘I'm tired.'

Suki stood up, hefting her bag over her shoulder. ‘You need some make-up. You've got dark circles under your eyes. I'll see you in registration.'

Megan sat at the lunch table for a few more minutes, staring into space. It was true, she was exhausted. And she knew she had dark circles under her eyes. She had spent several sleepless nights wondering about Jake and whether she'd blown her only chance. The more she thought about him, the more obvious it seemed that they were meant to be together. But it was also more and more obvious that there was nothing she could do. It was too late. So why was she wasting so much time and energy wondering about what might have been?

The bell went and Megan got up with a sigh. She needed to concentrate on the jive she was working on and not get distracted by thoughts of Jake. She had only a few weeks in which to teach the routine to the other girls.

‘Hey! Is this your bag?'

Megan turned to see a short girl with a head of out-of-control brown curls holding up her school bag. ‘Oh! Thanks so much, Kate. I don't know how I could have forgotten that!'

‘You were thinking about something else,' offered
Kate with a smile. ‘I do that all the time. Especially at school. Let's face it, there's not much to get excited about here, is there?'

Megan smiled back. ‘Not really. I was thinking about dancing.'

The girl raised her eyebrows. ‘Oh, right. You into ballet like Suki?'

‘No,' said Megan shortly. Then she realized she might have sounded rude. ‘I do ballroom dancing.'

‘Of course. I remember you asking me about classes a while back. Did you get it sorted?'

‘Not exactly.'

‘I can't dance for anything,' Kate said ruefully. ‘Look at my feet, they're huge.'

Megan glanced down. ‘They don't look that big.'

‘Size eight,' said Kate. ‘Clodhoppers. Good for nothing except stamping down earth.'

Megan laughed. ‘Do you do a lot of that then?'

‘Actually, yeah.' Kate looked slightly embarrassed. ‘At home, I mean. Gardening and that.'

‘Gardening?'

‘It's not very interesting,' added Kate hastily. ‘To most people.'

‘Neither's ballroom dancing,' Megan said with a smile.

Kate smiled back.

‘Thanks for the bag.' Megan glanced up at the clock. ‘Got to run.'

‘Yeah. See you later.'

Megan headed off to registration feeling somewhat more cheerful.
There are other things in the world apart from dancing and Jake
, she told herself sternly.
There are flowers and vegetables
. The thought made her smile.

‘What's so funny?' asked Suki.

‘Oh, nothing.'

‘Tell me.'

‘It's nothing, really.'

Suki scowled. ‘Is it something about me?'

‘About
you
? No, why?'

‘It's just that – don't take this the wrong way, Megan, but sometimes you can be quite self-obsessed.'

Megan felt dumbstruck.
Don't take this the wrong way?
How was she
meant
to take it?

Suki saw her expression. ‘I don't mean it in a horrible way. It's just that you come across as really secretive. I tell you about things I find funny, don't I?'

‘Yes,' replied Megan.

‘I pretty much tell you
everything
,' went on Suki. ‘That's what friends do. But sometimes you look like you're not even listening!' She saw Megan staring at her. ‘What?'

‘I've just realized,' said Megan slowly, ‘who you remind me of. I can't think why I didn't spot it before.'

‘Ooh, who?' Suki looked excited. ‘I love these games. Is it someone famous?'

Megan shook her head. ‘No. You don't know him.'

‘Him?' Suki wrinkled her little nose. ‘Are you saying I look like a boy?'

‘It's got nothing to do with looks,' Megan said. She almost felt like laughing. How could she not have realized that Suki and Danny were so similar? ‘It's the way you are underneath.'

Suki looked uncertain. ‘What do you mean?'

Megan came to a decision. ‘I'm really sorry,' she said to Suki, ‘but I don't think I can be your friend any more.'

Suki's jaw dropped.

‘It's just not working,' Megan went on kindly. ‘I don't think we have enough in common.'

‘You . . .' Suki seemed almost speechless. ‘You can't be my
friend
? What is this,
primary school
?' She gave a laugh that sounded forced.

Megan smiled. ‘Sorry.' There was no point explaining, she knew. Suki would never understand her point of view. She was incapable of seeing anything outside her own little life – just like Danny.

Suki was starting to look a little panicky. ‘Who am I going to sit next to in English?'

‘I don't know,' said Megan, ‘but I'm sure you'll find someone.'

Suki's eyes narrowed. ‘That's it, isn't it?'

‘What?'

‘You've found another friend already, haven't you? That's why you're dumping me!'

Megan did laugh out loud at this. ‘You sound like we're going out together, Suki. No, I haven't found another friend – and actually it's none of your business. I just don't want to hang around with you any more.'

‘You'd rather be on your own than with me?' Suki was astounded.

Megan thought for a moment. ‘Yes. I would.' The encounter with Kate in the canteen had cheered her up. She smiled. ‘See you around.'

‘Not if I see you first,' Suki said, turning her back.

‘Sounds like you did the right thing,' Jake commented.

‘Yeah. She didn't like it though.'

‘You're better off without her. And Danny.'

Megan waved a hand at the wall. ‘I am totally over him,' she said airily.

‘I know when you're lying, Meg.' Jake sounded as though he were smiling. ‘It's all right. You don't have to be over him already. He sounded kind of exciting.'

‘I don't want exciting,' said Megan firmly. ‘I want safe and nice and – and interested in dancing.'

‘Well,' said Jake slowly, ‘I guess you'll have to look around for someone like that then.'

Megan swallowed. Her heart had just given an extra-hard thump.
Someone like you
, she was on the point of saying, but she clamped her mouth shut. She mustn't blurt it out!

There was an uncomfortable pause. ‘Um . . .' said Jake.

‘Er . . .' said Megan.

Then they both spoke at once. ‘So how's Milton Park?' asked Megan, just as Jake said, ‘You'll never believe it but . . .'

They both stopped. ‘Sorry, after you.'

‘No, you first.'

All of a sudden, both of them seemed completely tongue-tied. It was awful! Megan was terrified that if she started talking, she'd end up blurting out all her feelings, and that would quite possibly be the worst
mistake she'd ever made. She couldn't just say, ‘Do you fancy me?' could she? What would she do if he said ‘No'?

What would she do if he said
‘Yes
'?

But Jake didn't seem too comfortable either. He launched into a rapid story about his mum and then got de-railed into a different story about the new shopping centre. His words tumbled over themselves, as though he were frightened of leaving any gaps. Megan found herself saying ‘Yeah', ‘No' and ‘Really?' alternately, with no idea of what she was responding to.

Megan was relieved when her mum called up that dinner was ready. Jake also seemed relieved, as though he couldn't wait to get off the phone. Their goodbyes were so short, Megan had already hung up by the time Jake had got to ‘See you.'

She put her head in her hands. Questioning her feelings about Jake had made everything worse, even though she hadn't said anything! Had he guessed? Why was he being weird with her too?

Megan hardly dared to think that perhaps Jake was also wondering about his feelings . . .

Ever since the confrontation with Danny, Megan had avoided walking past the skate park. Instead, she took a more round-about way to reach the arts centre and the shops. But one Tuesday she was running late for salsa, and there just wasn't a choice. Hoping Danny wouldn't be there – or that if he was, he wouldn't see her – she dashed round the corner of the park.

Of course, she couldn't resist glancing across to see if he was there – and immediately wished she hadn't, because Danny just happened to glance up at exactly the same moment. The stormy grey gaze slammed into hers and Megan felt a lump rise in her throat. She had forgotten how good-looking he was! But the stare he was giving her wasn't a friendly one, and she quickly looked away and hurried past.

Rounding the corner, Megan stopped to catch her breath. How could one brief sighting make her feel so wobbly?

‘You OK, Megan?' It was Mari, on her way into the centre. ‘You look all white.'

‘Yeah.' Megan drew a shaky breath. ‘Just saw – you know.'

‘Ohhh.' Mari nodded in understanding. ‘The skate park. Of course.'

‘I shouldn't let it bother me,' Megan said crossly. ‘I mean, I haven't spoken to him for weeks now, but . . .'

‘Come on.' Mari put her arm around Megan's shoulders. ‘Let's get to salsa and then you don't have to think about it.'

Corinne was looking anxious when they arrived. ‘Oh, thank goodness you're here, Megan. I was beginning to think you weren't coming.'

‘Sorry we're late.'

‘It's fine – but I want you to take the whole of this lesson to perfect the jive.'

Megan looked surprised. ‘Are you sure?'

‘Definitely. The salsa is coming along really nicely and it's so free-flowing it doesn't matter if it's not precise. But the party's a week on Saturday and the jive isn't anywhere near perfect yet.' Corinne looked contrite. ‘I probably haven't given you enough time to practise in class, Megan. Sorry, I didn't realize how big a task it would be.'