Strife: Hidden Book Four (10 page)

“Well, I’d begin there, then. You need to dampen your emotions. Is it all emotions she seems affected by?” he asked me.

I thought. I knew she was affected by my anger, stress, sadness. Happiness. I nodded, slowly. “Yeah. Pretty much any strong emotion.”

“Well, that makes it even more difficult. I was hoping I could just recommend that you try not to get angry.”

Nain and my father each started to talk and I glared at them. “Cram it.”

They exchanged a look.

“Pardon?” Asclepias asked.

“They were about to tell you that it’s not possible for me to avoid being angry.”

Asclepias smiled. “Well, you’ll have to learn to control yourself, my dear. Your emotions strengthen that thing inside of you. And you saw last night what can happen. May I ask if you were around your former, ah, mate, before it happened?” he asked, uncomfortable, trying to frame it delicately, with the obviously possessive demon sitting next to me.

“Yes, but it wasn’t just that. Yesterday in general was pretty stressful, and then I fell asleep. I’ve noticed she manages to take control when I’m sleeping, so I’ve been doing without sleep. I failed in that last night,” I finished, irritated with myself. Nain bumped my knee with his under the table, reassuring.

Asclepias nodded. “I can teach you some meditative exercises. I know, in your position, that it will be difficult. But you need to do this, Mollis. A lot of it is just focus. You will need to keep an iron-like hold on your emotions.”

“For how long?”

He looked like he wanted to be just about anywhere but in my kitchen just then.

“Forever?” he said, looking like he wanted to run. Everyone around the table stared at him, and he raised his hands. “This being, Nether, is obviously angry. Unstable. Vicious? Yes?” he said, and I nodded. I had her inside of me, and there was no doubt about what she was. “All right. And the only thing keeping her under control right now, is you,” he said, looking directly at me.

“So I just have to live with this thing?”

“Can’t we get her out of Molly?” Nain asked.

Asclepias took a breath. “And release her to where, exactly? Set her free in your world?”

“Wouldn’t she just go back to where she came from? Be the Nether again?” Nain asked, and I shook my head.

“She’s had a taste of freedom now. There’s not a chance in hell she’s going back,” I said, knowing it was true.

“And here’s where it gets worse,” Asclepias said, and my father glared at him. “You called me, Hades. Do you want to know everything or not?” Asclepias shot at my father, and Hades nodded, gestured his apology.

“How does it get worse?” I asked.

“That thing knows everything you know. It shares soul space with you, and a lot of it. Chances are, should it ever find itself free, it would be able to do what you do. Everything you can do,” he said, emphasizing the “everything” part.

“Oh no,” Tisiphone said.

“So it could destroy the immortals?” I asked quietly, and Asclepias nodded. “So I have to keep it in me. I’m stuck with this now?”

“What if Molly died?” Nain asked, and I knew from his emotions that he hated to even ask the question. “Would that destroy this thing, or send it back to where it’s supposed to be, or what?”

Asclepias shook his head. “That would be the worst thing in the world.”

I looked at my mother questioningly. “Remember how we said that the spirit daemons like Strife and Terror are basically avatars? That they don’t die, really, that they’ll just come back again?”

I nodded, dread knotting my stomach.

“I have the bad feeling he’s saying Nether would be the same thing,” she said, and I looked at Asclepias.

“Is that what you’re saying?”

“My gut tells me, little Fury, that you are the only thing standing between that thing, that angry, malicious being inside you, and everything else. Should you die, she will be free. And she will know what you know, and she can do what you do. But she has none of your nobility, none of your humanity. If she gets free, you and everything you love will suffer.”

I rested my head in my hands. “Who created the Nether? And don’t tell me you don't fucking know. There has to be a story, a myth, something you can give me,” I said, keeping my head in my hands.

“Emotions, Mollis,” Asclepias said gently, and I took a deep breath, tried to make myself calm down. Nain put his hand on my back, rubbed up and down my spine. I didn’t know if it was the comfort of his touch, or having another creature of the Nether touching me, but I was able to draw my stress and anger down, just enough to dampen its rage.

“From the myths we know, the Nether was created by Nyx, who created the Furies, the Fates, and several spirit daemons, including Strife.”

“So, what? My grandma created the Nether? How?”

Discomfort from every immortal at the table.

“Spill it. Now,” I growled. Nain kept his hand on my back.

“The story is that Nyx was born of chaos, that she is darkness. And she came into being, and created many of us. And there were two very powerful spirit daemons who became a danger to all that Nyx had created. So her final act, before falling into an everlasting sleep, was to create the Aether and the Nether, which were created with the power of the two powerful beings. Nether, she was punishing. Aether was Nyx’s son, and Nether nearly killed him. Nyx turned him into the realm of the Aether as her last bid at keeping him alive. Their power powers the realms. And the realm Nether became was her prison.”

“Except that now, I’m Nether’s prison. That’s what you’re telling me.”

Tisiphone nodded.

“And she probably kinda hates my grandma,” I said, burying my face in my hands again.

“Damn you people are a mess,” Nain said. “So she’s supposed to just do this? Serve as a living prison for this thing inside her that’s making her crazy and hurting her? And she’s supposed to do this forever?”

“And if she fails, it will be so much worse, demon,” Asclepias said.

“You said she's sleeping?” I asked, face still in my hands, trying to keep myself under control

“Yes. She sleeps.”

“Where?”

“In the Nether, most likely,” Hades said. “She can be whatever she wants, whenever she wants. No one has actually ever seen her. Including those she created.”

I looked up, and Tisiphone nodded. “She created us. Molded us, and we have no memories before we were full-grown, powerful beings, undertaking our roles as Furies. We seemed to have come into the world just as we are now.”

“She won’t be any help to you, Mollis,” my father said, and I nodded.

I sat for a minute, trying to calm down, trying to wrap my mind around everything thy’d told me. “Okay. So I definitely can’t die anymore. I have to keep a lid on my emotions so I don’t give her any added strength to take over. What about when I’m asleep? Even I can’t stay awake forever.”

“You’ll need to be guarded by someone powerful. Preferably someone from your own realm, since you seem soothed by them. Your parents would be the obvious choices here,” Asclepias said, and both Hades and Tisiphone nodded. Asclepias glanced toward Nain. “He would probably do as well. You have an affinity to him because of the blood you’ve exchanged.”

Right. I’d walk bare ass naked down Woodward before I’d ask Nain to babysit me while I slept.

“Okay. Well this has been completely and utterly depressing,” I said. Asclepias and I walked out into my yard, and he gave me some advice for meditating, ways to keep my stress level down. I nodded. He recommended yoga, stretching, deep breathing. Counting when I felt myself starting to feel something. The thing was, I really didn’t need much advice. I’d done all this, when my powers had first manifested when I was a kid. I’d learned to keep my emotions in check, trying to dampen both mine and everyone else’s so it wouldn't drive me nuts, feeling what everyone else was feeling all the time. What it meant, though, was that I didn’t let myself feel much of anything at all. That had ended with Nain entering my life. I’d have to go back to that place.

He finished talking, and I looked up at the healer god. “You know I’m not one to make idle threats,” I said softly, hating myself a little.

He smiled. “No one will hear a word of this from me, Mollis. I swear it to you. It is in my best interest to keep you calm and safe as well, remember.”

I nodded. “As long as we understand one another.”

“Clearly, my dear.”

“Thank you for your help,” I said, holding my hand out. He shook it firmly.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t give you better news.”

I shrugged. “It’s better to know than not. At least now I know what I need to watch out for.”

He nodded, smiled, and then winked out of sight. I turned back toward the house. My mother was standing on the porch, watching me.

Great. Now I’d have a freaking babysitter watching me all the time.

Nain came out onto the porch, and my mother went back inside. He had his car keys in his hand.

“So how do you want to do this, Molls?”

“You are not watching me sleep,” I said.

“Fine. But if you ever need to sleep and they’re not around, come to me. I won’t even act like a perv or anything.”

I rolled my eyes. Then I glanced back toward the house. “I need you to do something for me,” I said softly. I started walking toward his truck, and he followed. When he was behind me, I reached up my sleeve and pulled off the band I’d been wearing on my bicep, the one that held a stone that imprisoned the souls of Ares and Dionysus. He opened his car door, and I passed it to him, behind the door, so no one else could see it. He took it, stared down at it.

“What the fuck is this?” he asked, a look of disgust on his face.

“You can feel it?”

“Yeah. I don’t even want to be touching this. You’ve been wearing it?”

“Nain,” I said sharply, losing my patience.

“What?”

I need you to keep that for me. Hide it. Lock it away somewhere no one else knows about.

Why?

That adds to my power. If I lose control of her again, I don’t want her having anything extra.

His eyes met mine, then he looked down at the armband.
I’ve got a couple places only I know about.

If I come to you, asking for it… don’t tell me. Don't give it to me. No matter what I say.

He hesitated, then nodded.
This is going to make you weaker when you’re fighting though, right? You need to stay alive to keep her imprisoned.

And I need to not give her extra power, in case she takes control again.

I fucking hate this.

Me too,
I thought at him.
Please.

I’ll take care of it.

It needs to stay whole. If what’s in there gets out—

It won’t. I promise. I’ll keep it safe.

I hate to have to ask this of you. Like you need one more thing.

He waved it off.
I’ll do whatever it takes, Molls. You know that already.

I nodded.

Call me if you need me. Or want me. I’m not picky.
And then he got into his truck, and I watched him drive away.

The crazy thing was, I really, really didn’t want him to go.

I turned back toward my house. My mom was on the porch, sitting on the top step, watching me. I went and sat beside her.

“Do you want to talk about Nether?” she asked as I sat down.

“No.”

“Good. Neither do I. I want to talk about something else.”

“What?”

“I have kept my opinions to myself on many things, including your choice in men.”

“Oh, Christ,” I groaned.

“And I’m going to tell you what I think. That shifter, though he’s extremely pleasing to look at and probably not too shabby in bed, based on what I hear about shifters in general, is not strong enough to handle someone like you.”

“We broke up.”

“I know. I’m not sorry to hear it. I’m sorry it hurt you, but he was never right for you.”

“He made me happy.”

“For a time. Yes he did. A woman like you, an immortal, a powerful being of the Nether, has needs that can’t be met by just anyone.”

“I cannot believe we’re discussing this,” I muttered.

“Now, that demon. That huge, gorgeous, powerful, absolutely stunning specimen of a demon. That is a man worthy of my daughter.”

I looked away, blushing. “Did you miss the part where he lied to me and destroyed me and practically made me lose my mind?”

“Did you miss the part where you rose from destruction stronger than ever? Or maybe you missed the part where the trauma his death caused you allowed you to come fully into your own powers. Or maybe you missed the emotions that roar through a room whenever the two of you are together. It’s enough to make me require a cold shower after I’ve been around the two of you.”

“You can’t make a life together out of lust. I don’t trust him anymore.”

“That’s a lie, and you know it.”

“What? The lust thing?”

She rolled her eyes. “No. The trust thing. If I were a betting type of woman, I’d bet it all on the claim that you trust him more than you trust anyone else in your life. That he’s quite possibly the only one you trust.”

I didn’t answer. Hadn’t I just kind of proved that, by handing over something like my armband to Nain? And I’d done it without thinking twice, knowing that he’d take care of it, that I could trust him to do the right thing because I was the one asking.

I didn’t want to think about it.

“It’s not everyday you find a man who’s willing to die for you,” she said softly.

“No. But I am sick to death of people leaving me behind to save me,” I said. “I need someone who wants to share my life, even if I’m not perfect.”

I am sorry, Mollis. That started with me. I had no idea your life would be so lonely. I hoped it wouldn’t be.
Then, aloud, she said, “give him half a reason, and he will be. But stop lying to yourself about what you feel for him. I don’t doubt that you loved the shifter. When you feel something, you feel it all the way, dear girl. But a blind woman could see that you and the demon are not finished. Not by a long shot.”