STRINGS of COLOR (18 page)

"She should have told me."

"Yes, she should have told you."

"All this time I have missed out on knowing the woman who gave birth to me."

"Think about it this way…for thirty-seven years you've gotten to know Monà as your mother, now you get to take the next thirty-seven years or so, getting to know Naya. You get to have something most children will never experience, real love."

"You don't just experience real love from your mother."

Carl didn't know how to respond to that. He didn't want to push anymore but then again, he didn't want his own feelings to be played with either.

"I'm so sorry, Carl."

He still didn't respond. They had made it to the hospital and he pulled into a parking spot and tried not to look her way.

Simone moved over and placed her hand on his arm. Carl felt the warmth of her touch.
Man, I am so in love with her
.
Keep it together, man. Keep it together
.

He tried to focus on the front window.

"I…I love you, Carl. I really love you. You were right, you and I are one."

"What are you saying, Simone?"

"I'm saying that I should have never called off our wedding. I should have never tried to delay what I want so badly. I want to be your wife. Please Carl, please forgive me."

"I want to Simone. I want to believe that you're serious this time but…."

She touched his lips with the tip of her fingers. The tears were streaming down her face. She never realized until now just how much she had hurt him.

"I promise you that I won't do it again."

"Call off the wedding?"

"Yes that too, but I promise that I will never hurt you like this again."

"I'm not afraid to fight for you Simone. I'm not afraid to love you or to show love for you. I consider those things, the things of a real man. But, having said that… just because I am a man doesn't mean that I don't hurt. It doesn't mean that I don't cry and it doesn't mean that you're the only one with feelings.

"You know, when I first walked away from you at the restaurant, I felt like I was walking away forever. It's hard to find your heart when you feel like someone reached inside of you and ripped it out. But then I realized something. I realized that if I walked away, I would be saying that I didn't understand what marriage is all about. I would be saying that I am only in this relationship for the easy times."

He finally looked her in the eye.

"In fact, it would be saying that I'm not a real man. You see, a real man understands that there will be problems but he faces them. He might not do so perfectly, but he is willing to put up the fight. Why? Because a real man understands that the love of a woman is something precious. It's not something that falls off a tree, but it is something that has to be worked for.

"Then I came to realize that the question was not whether or not I was a real man, I was more than willing to prove that to be the case to you. Rather, the question that became clear to me was— are you, Simone, a real woman? Are you willing to work and fight for my love? You see, that's what I have to know. This here thing can't work if you can't be honest with yourself and answer that question. Yes, you asked me to marry you, but, in the end, those are merely words. Actions are what I need from you, Simone, love and all the things that it entails."

"Yes. Yes, I am a real woman. Yes, I am willing and ready to fight and work for your love. I'm so sorry Carl that I ever made you have so many doubts about me or that you ever had to question my love for you. I kept saying that you weren't listening to me but as I sit here tonight, I realized that I hadn't been listening to you."

"You are going through a lot."

"True, but it doesn't excuse what I did. I have to learn that it's okay to speak my mind to you, but more importantly that I speak it with you. Share my feelings. So I'm saying it again…Yes, I am your woman, and I want to be your wife."

He grabbed her hand and kissed her fingers. He then wiped away her tears and placed his hand over her heart.

"This here, this right here belongs to me."

Simone in turn did the same. She reached out and placed her hand over his heart.

"This here, this right here belongs to me."

"So that's it then?"

"Yeah, that's it," Simone said as she smiled.

"We're getting married in six months as planned before?"

"Oh I think two months is more than enough time and I guess Jake will have to do as your best man?"

"Are you serious?" Now Carl was all smiles. Frankly, he wouldn't have cared if she said she wanted to go to the courthouse tomorrow.

He reached over for her ring finger and placed a gentle kiss upon it, and then brushed his lips ever so softly upon hers, before pulling away.

Always my gentleman
, she thought.

As Simone got out of the car, Carl watched her.

She turned to him and smiled.

That's when he fully understood what Jonathan meant. Love covers over.

J
onathan had just started speaking to a police officer when Simone and Carl walked up.

"It appears that Mrs. Creek was sitting at the light waiting for it to turn when the accident occurred. There was another car parallel to her that had stopped for some reason, although they had the green light. We are still trying to get all the details from witnesses.

"A young man around sixteen years old driving roughly about seventy to eighty miles per hour, from what we can tell, didn't see that the car in front of him was not moving. He tried to maneuver his car to avoid hitting it, that's when apparently he lost control and his car collided with Mrs. Creek's. It pushed her car up and around a pole."

The tears slid down Jonathan's face as he listened. Simone grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight.

"What happened to the young boy?" Simone asked.

"He suffered a broken leg, but it looks like he is going to be okay."

"I lost a child," Jonathan stated, "because of his reckless driving."

"He has been given a ticket and will be charged accordingly."

"What about the other car, the one that was stalled for some reason? Did anyone get hurt in it?" Carl asked.

"No, but we are still trying to locate the driver. From what witnesses describe, it was a black Lexus. We're still not sure why it wasn't moving. Some of the witnesses say that the car appeared to have been trying to make a U-turn and was waiting for a break in the on-coming traffic."

"Was anyone able to get a license plate?" Jonathan asked.

"So far, all we got was that it had one letter on it, the letter M. We're still looking into it, but our main concern right now is the actual driver who caused the accident. He admitted that he wasn't paying attention and didn't see the stopped car in front of him. If he hadn't been going as fast as he was, the accident would never have occurred. It doesn't appear that the other driver was ever at fault."

"How come the person in the black Lexus wasn't in the turning lane if they were trying to make a U-turn?" Simone asked.

"Unfortunately, that road doesn't have one. The community in that area has been fighting with the County to get one put in. I hate to say it, but maybe this case will help them to win theirs."

"Maybe I should sue the County," Jonathan stated.

The officer didn't respond.

"Thank you, officer," Simone said.

"Yes, thank you," Jonathan stated after trying to let everything he had just heard soak in.

They watched as the officer walked away. Simone reached over and grabbed Jonathan in a hug.

"I just can't believe this has happened. I'm so glad Felicia is okay but I am so sorry to hear about the baby."

"I am too."

"So I guess the wedding is back on?" Jonathan looked at Carl.

Simone starred at Carl but he tried to look the other way.

Simone spoke up.

"Yes, the wedding is back on and honestly, it should have never been called off in the first place." She gave Carl a quick nudge.

Jonathan was glad to see them both so happy.

"It's been tough times for all of us." Jonathan said to them before pausing for a second or two.

"Are you going to see our mother? She was here awhile ago." Then he added, "Did you know Chris had passed away? I suspect the funeral will be in a couple of days."

"Don't you go worrying yourself about my situation, I heard about Chris. I can't even imagine what she is going through. I can't believe she found the strength to come here tonight after losing her husband."

"I know", Jonathan said almost in a whisper. "They say love covers over a multitude of errors. Now I completely believe it."

Simone smiled as she understood what he had meant by that. He was talking about Monà, but he was also talking about her and he was speaking about himself.

"I'm so tired, Jake. It happened so fast. One minute I was lying next to him sleeping and the next minute I was screaming. Fifty-five years Jake. Fifty-five years. How am I supposed to say good-bye?"

J
ake woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. He glanced at the clock. To his horror, it was four-thirty in the morning. He felt as if he had only closed his eyes an hour or so ago.

He stared at the phone as if hoping that would silence it. To his surprise, it worked for a minute or two. Just as he tried to close his eyes again, the phone began to ring again.

He reluctantly reached out to answer it.

"Jake, it's your Mother."

Jake sat straight up in his bed.

"What is it? Are you okay?"

She paused and took a deep breath.

"It's your father. He…he had a heart attack. He's gone Jake."

Jake held the phone in his hand as he listened to the tears of his mother stream down her face. He could hear them even through the phone. The depth of her sobbing caused his heart to ache. He searched for words that would not come.

Nothing could escape the reality that now faced him—his father was gone.

"I'm on my way."

"No, don't come. They came and took him a few minutes ago. I need to lie down. I'm tired, Jake."

"Are you sure, Mom? I can be there in a few minutes. I've already got my jeans on and I just need to throw on a shirt."

"Yes, I'm sure. Get yourself some sleep and I will see you in the morning. Oh wait, it is morning isn't it, son?"

"Yes, ma'am, it is."

"I'm so tired, Jake. It happened so fast. One minute I was lying next to him sleeping and the next minute I was screaming. Fifty-five years Jake. Fifty-five years. How am I supposed to say good-bye?"

Jake knew the tears were coming again.

"Try to get yourself some sleep Mom. I will come by first thing in the morning. Are you sure you don't want me to come now?"

"What did you say, dear?"

"Are you sure that you don't want me to come now?"

"Oh no, sweetie, I'm tired. I need to try and close these old eyes of mine."

Jake began to grow nervous.

"I'm going to come over."

"Please don't, sweetie. Really, I'll be okay for a few hours. I promise."

"You promise?" Jake sounded like a little boy pleading with his mother.

"Sure, sweetie. I promise."

Jake reluctantly hung up the phone. He sat on the edge of his bed staring at the wall in front of him.

He couldn't even bring himself to say it out loud.

My father is gone
. He said it slowly and then he said it over and over again in his mind until he finally allowed the words to slip off his tongue.

That's when it happened—his tears burst forth as he tried to close his eyes again.

Jake drove up to his parents' house. He sat in his car for a moment staring at the front door. He was scared, scared of facing his mother, scared of something worse.

He looked at his watch. It was seven-thirty. Usually, she would already be up and the windows in the living room would be open. Even in the dead of winter, she would open them.

He remembered how his father used to fuss about that every day. She would smile at him and say, "a little sunshine never hurt anybody."