Authors: Susan Mac Nicol
Shane sat down on the bed, feeling awkward. He hadn’t missed the hesitation when Matthew had entered the bedroom.
Much like the man himself, the space was tidy, organised and muted. Nothing flamboyant like his. He noticed the lovely watercolour paintings hanging on the wall, one of St. James’s Park and another one of Sam, delicately rendered in pale cream and beige tones, with touches of red for the hair. The man’s eyes stared out at him, brown eyes direct and warm. Shane swallowed. This was going to be difficult. Even if Matthew had been amenable to a bit of ‘hanky-panky’, Shane wasn’t sure he’d have wanted to, being observed by those eyes.
The bed was king-sized, always a good sign, with a metal headboard that made Shane wonder whether any bondage games had ever taken place here. His groin throbbed at the mere thought of Matthew tied to those metal railings, his for the taking. He knew if he ever got the chance, he’d do it in a heartbeat. Or vice versa, which made him even hornier. But without Sam’s likeness watching him.
The bedspread itself was a muted mix of cream, russet and brown, warm and soft. In the corner, mounted on the wall were a TV and a DVD player. The sideboard was heavy and wooden, with ornate brass knobs, a selection of aftershaves, and other personal effects scattered across the top. On each of the bedside tables was a lamp, a tall, oriental effect with a deep rusty shade, one of which was switched on, casting a dim light across the walls.
He knew Matthew inviting him in here was an enormous breakthrough. He’d never expected this. He’d thought the best he’d get away with was bunking down on the couch.
In truth, he had no idea how the man was coping with it. He was probably a basket case in the bathroom, regretting his offer. But there was nowhere Shane would rather be. Matthew had said he needed him. Those alone were words he’d been waiting to hear. He sighed as he waited for his turn in the bathroom. He’d known instinctively that going in there to share the space with Matthew in an act as intimate as brushing their teeth together wouldn’t be a good idea. Best wait till Matty came out.
In the bathroom, Matthew leaned his forehead against the cool mirror. He’d known what he was doing inviting Shane to stay over, but it still made his stomach churn and his heart beat faster. Seeing Shane there in his bedroom had brought on the anxiety.
He finished brushing his teeth, rinsed his face with water and took a deep breath. Thank God Shane hadn’t come in while he was in here. That action would have been too intimate to bear. It would have reminded him of the times Sam and he had fought laughingly for control of the bathroom sink, shoving each other back and forward until it had turned into caresses and kisses and finally making love in the shower.
“You need to do this,” he muttered to himself as he gazed back at the tortured soul in the mirror. “You
can
do this. Shane deserves that much.”
He walked out of the bathroom to see Shane sitting on the left side of the bed. Sam’s side. He swallowed and slipped out of his trousers and underwear, reaching for a pair of jogging bottoms and pulling them on.
Shane cleared his throat. “Finished in there, then?” He indicated to the bathroom and Matthew nodded. Shane stood up and disappeared into the small room.
Matthew pulled back the covers and got into bed, leaning back against the headboard as he waited for Shane to come out. His eyes fell on his wedding ring. His breath caught. He didn’t want to share this bed with another man while still wearing his ring. It didn’t feel right. He stared at it for a minute, then he pulled it off his finger and opened the bedside drawer, placing it reverently inside. He closed the drawer and lay back in bed.
Five minutes later, he heard the toilet flush, the water run and the sound of Shane brushing his teeth. It had been a long time since those familiar sounds of another man had echoed in this bedroom. A few minutes later Shane came out, still dressed. He pulled his sweatshirt off and Matthew’s cock twitched in appreciation at his lover’s body. Shane stripped to just his boxer shorts and crawled into the bed beside Matthew. He lay back against the pillows, his body already relaxing. Matthew switched off the bedside light, plunging the room into darkness.
“Are you sure you’re all right with this, Matty?” Shane’s quiet voice split the quiet of the room. “I know this must be hard for you.”
Matthew’s throat tightened. “It’s a challenge but I’ll be fine. Just settle in, and let’s get some sleep.” He slid down under the duvet, pulling the covers up to his waist as he turned on his right side, facing away from Shane.
“Can I at least snuggle?” came the voice from behind him as a hundred and sixty pounds of warm man moved closer to him.
“As long as you promise to behave yourself. I need to sleep. If I feel anything of yours anywhere near my nether-regions or my arse, I shall do you harm.” He smiled as Shane draped an arm across his stomach and burrowed in.
“Aye, aye, sir. I’ll be on my best behaviour. Of course I can’t guarantee I won’t do anything to you when you’re asleep. I’ve always had this recurring fantasy about giving a man a blow job when he’s sleeping and then he wakes up and is so horny that he just turns me over and—”
“Shane.” Matthews voice was husky, his groin on fire with his lover’s nearness and his masculine scent. “Shut the hell up and go to sleep.”
There was a warm chuckle as Shane did as he was told.
Morning After
The following morning, Matthew woke up at six and laid watching Shane sleep. His blond hair was tousled and Matthew reached out a hand and smoothed it gently off his face, caressing the warm cheek. Shane sighed, his breath ghosting Matthew’s cheek, but he didn’t wake up.
Matthew smiled softly at the sight even as he felt a sense of peace flood his body. The world was still there. The universe hadn’t cracked open and dragged him into a deep hole, and Sam’s ghost hadn’t appeared like the Ghost of Christmas Past to censure him. He’d had a man in his bed for the first time since Sam had died and he had to admit that it felt good.
He looked over at Sam’s smiling face on his wall. He blew him a kiss.
“You’d like him,” he whispered, and the tears didn’t sting his eyes as they had done every night he’d lain awake in this room grieving for his dead husband.
Matthew slid quietly out of bed and went to take a shower. He tidied up his stubble, wrapped a towel around his waist and went into the bedroom to get dressed.
Shane was awake, artfully sitting up with the duvet pushed down below his hips, his morning erection poking out of the top of his boxer shorts. He grinned at Matthew.
Matthew ignored him even as his cock leapt to attention under the towel. He busied himself getting dressed.
Shane sighed, his disappointment evident. Matthew hid a smile. It was taking all his self-control not to jump on the man in the bed, but he needed to get to work.
Shane gestured to the picture of Sam. “It’s a great picture. Beautifully rendered. I notice you have quite a few watercolours around the walls. Whoever the artist is, he or she is very good.” Shane’s voice was soft.
Matthew swallowed. “I’m the artist.”
Shane sat up, his eyes wide. “You painted them? You have quite a talent. I had no idea you were so creative.”
Matthew shrugged as he pulled on trousers and a shirt. “I like painting. There’s a small room at the back of the house that I use as a studio.” He felt a twinge of sorrow at remembering what it had originally been going to be used for. “I generally paint from photographs.” He pulled on socks and slipped his feet into his shoes, stood up and looked around for his wallet, spying it on his dresser.
He reached into the cupboard and took out a suit jacket that matched the trousers and slipped the wallet into the jacket pocket.
“You really are a dark horse. Any other secret hobbies I should know about? Anything else personal you want to share with me?” Shane’s voice was nonchalant but Matthew sensed a slight annoyance in it. The atmosphere had gotten chilly all of a sudden.
“No, that’s my only hobby. Not my vice, though. That would be you.” He grinned, hoping to lighten the sudden darker mood his lover seemed to have fallen into. Shane leaned back moodily, pulling the duvet up to his waist. There was a sudden movement at the door and David appeared, bleary-eyed, hair sticking up, dressed in just a pair of Matthew’s boxers. His face brightened when he saw Shane lying in the bed.
“Shane! God, it’s good to see you here. I had no idea Matty had relented and invited you over, the awkward sod.” He bounced over onto the bed like a puppy, kissing Shane on the lips, his hand snaking out to cup his cheek as he did so. Matthew watched, his eyes narrowing. The man was far too intimate with Shane for his liking. He seemed to have no boundaries.
“DD, I’d prefer you didn’t paw my boyfriend, thanks. Go find your own.” His words were mild but his tone was acidic. Shane tried to disentangle himself from the other man’s fawning affection even as he smiled at Matthew’s words.
“Christ, get off me, you idiot.” Shane pushed him away as David withdrew with a pout, looking at Matthew.
“Jeez, Matty, no need to get all alpha male with me. I was just saying good morning.”
“Looking as if you’re going to stick your tongue in his mouth is not my idea of a good morning greeting,” Matthew murmured.
Shane winked at him, his bad mood appearing to have evaporated. “I like you being all alpha male, Matty. Feel free to do it anytime you like.”
Matthew’s mouth twitched. “I need to get off to work.” He looked at Shane warningly. “We’ll talk about that stuff we discussed last night later. Maybe we can figure out what we do with it.”
“What stuff?” asked David as he sat cross legged on the bed next to Shane.
Matthew shook his head. “Personal stuff between me and Shane.” He walked around to the bed and leaned down to kiss his lover, who sighed in satisfaction and pulled Matthew down for a harder kiss. David watched them with a smile.
“I can’t believe the two of you are together, here. I’m glad for you both.”
Matthew pulled free of Shane’s grasp and straightened up. “Right. I’ll see you tonight, DD. Try stay away from the best stuff in my wardrobe. We need to go and get
your
stuff and figure out what we do next. Shay, I’ll call you later.”
He disappeared out of the bedroom. Both men heard the front door slam. David looked at Shane with a lascivious expression.
“Well. This is a turn up for the books. I never thought I’d see the day. Do you know what a milestone this is for Matthew? Being in his house, sharing his bed?”
Shane felt a warmth sweep through his body. “Oh yes, I know what this means. He said he needed me, David. And he was definitely jealous about you jumping on the bed like that. I think I might be getting to him.” He reached out a hand and touched the bruise under David’s eyes with tender fingers.
“God, he really planted one on you, didn’t he? And you look like a sexy bruiser with your split lip.” It reminded him he needed to apologise to David for the planting of the gay porn virus on Roy’s phone. He opened his mouth to do so but was distracted by David bouncing on the bed like a young child.
“Did you notice anything else?” David was rubbing his hands in glee.
Shane sighed in exasperation. He’d apologise once David got this out of his system. The man was like a hyperactive squirrel. “No. What did I miss?”
“He wasn’t wearing his wedding ring.”
Shane gaped at David, who punched his arm lightly. “You are so useless at observing. He definitely didn’t have it on when he left.”
Shane didn’t quite know what to make of that.
Was this a long-term thing or was it just because Shane was here in his house? Would the ring go back on the moment he left?
“You knew Sam,” he said to David. “What was he like?”
His friend regarded him compassionately. “He was warm, funny, a real Southern gentleman from Georgia. And Matthew adored him, just as Sam adored Matty. But Sam isn’t here anymore. You are. And from what I can see, Matthew is adjusting. He’s never done this before. I think he might be getting ready to move on. With you. The man is crazy about you, anyone can see that. Except him.”
Shane’s heart skipped a beat and his body succumbed to a warm glow. “I’m falling crazy in love with the man,” he murmured. “I just don’t want to scare him off.”
“You keep doing what you’re doing, chipping away at him bit by bit. It seems to be working.” David grinned wickedly. “And I’m sure all the kinky sex and blow jobs aren’t hurting either.” He leapt off the bed and went to the door. “I’m going to shower and get dressed. I need to try and find a way to get home and fetch some of my stuff. Maybe we can go over to my dad’s house and face the music together.”
His voice was hopeful. Shane shook his head. He needed to hold David back from doing anything until they’d had time to figure out what to do with what Matthew’s father had left them.
“Hang on there. Matthew had an idea last night. He think he can sort things out but he’ll need time to see what he can do. Just bear with him a while longer. He’s hoping it will all come right.” He hoped that was the plan anyway. To confront Walter with the video footage and get him to reinstate David’s trust fund and allow him to get his personal possessions from the house. “Matty has a plan. Let him work it then we can decide where we go.”
David looked relieved. “Okay. That sounds good to me.” He smiled, seeming happier. “He’s great at this stuff, isn’t he? Sorting things out I mean.” He disappeared out of the bedroom.
Shane clambered out of bed. He needed to get home to Bushwhacker and see what he could find on the woman called Mona/Manuel Casales. She might be just what Matthew needed to break this one and get that prick Walter by the short and curliest. Shane felt a sense of righteousness at being able to help his lover in this way. He knew Matthew might not always have an appreciation for his hacking talents, but he thought this might well be one time when he might need them. With a sense of rising excitement at the task ahead, he headed for the bathroom to shower. He’d be taking a taxi home. He wasn’t in the mood for running this morning.