strongholdrising (68 page)

* * *

As they climbed up the track, conversations centered on the bizarre weather patterns that had swept over Shola because of the Entities and how relieved everyone was it finally seemed to be over.
He found the countryside beautiful, and quite different from that around his home estate. The grass here was bleached almost straw-colored by the sun and the wind, and beneath his feet, the soil was so hot he could feel its heat rising like warm breath around him. The air was full of the scents of the mountainside— the faint tang of pine resin from the distant trees, the clumps of dark green brackens, the thorn bushes with their yellow blossoms. Against the outcrops of lichen-covered rocks, the brightly colored petals of mountain flowers stood out vividly. In the distance, he thought he could hear the chuckling of the stream. He sniffed, smelling the dampness in the air.
"You can smell it already?" asked Kha'Qwa, holding her hand out to Lijou for help over a small hillock.
"Yes, can't you?"
She shook her head. "Too far."
He stopped a moment, looking down the way they'd come, seeing the village spread out below him, as tiny as a cub's toy. "It's beautiful up here."
"And peaceful," said Lijou. "Usually," he added as a group of laughing Brothers and Sisters came into view, pelts still damp, towels thrown across their shoulders.
"Father, Tutor Kha'Qwa," they murmured, inclining their heads in courtesy as they passed.
"I hope it's not too crowded," said Kha'Qwa as they began walking again. "I want to take Chay'Dah into the pool. He's old enough to start swimming. Does Carrie take Kashini in the sea?"
"Yes, but we have a lake for swimming in now that we train so intensively on the estate. The sea's too cold except in high summer."
"Do you take picnics there?"
He remembered the pool where he'd met Vartra. "No. We went to a pool on the edge of the woodland in our garden. But that was last year."
"You should try to go there as a family before the end of the summer," said Kha'Qwa. "Memories of the summer help keep you warm when the wind's howling round the house."
"It doesn't howl so loudly down in their peninsula," said Lijou with a laugh.

* * *

The pool was large, measuring a couple of hundred meters across, and bounded for most of its margins by soft green grass. The remaining edge was a sand and gravel soil.
Groups of people were playing in the water or lounging around on the grass. A few low trees and bushes provided spots of shade, but he could see none near the water that were unoccupied. Further back, three or four small aircars were parked.
"Can you see them?" asked Kha'Qwa, looking round.
Despite the torc, Kusac felt a gentle mental touch he recognized instantly. "If you mean Master Sorli, he's over by the bushes there," he said, pointing.
"I'm impressed," said Kha'Qwa, taking hold of his arm and gently squeezing it. "It must be so good to have your Talent back. I know what it felt like when I got back what little I have after Chay'Dah was born. Until then, I hadn't realized how much I relied on it and how blind and deaf I felt without it."
He looked away, aware his eyes were showing his innermost feelings. "I don't like being set up, Kha'Qwa," he said, hiding behind indignation. "You should have told me."
"It isn't a setup," said Lijou. "We're genuinely having a family day out with Sorli and Mayoi. I saw it as an opportunity to get all of us together in pleasant circumstances. You've enjoyed the walk, haven't you?"
He nodded, having to admit he had.
"Then come on," said Kha'Qwa, tugging him onward. "We've the whole day before us."

* * *

He didn't get the opportunity to feel awkward at being with two couples as Kha'Qwa immediately handed him Chay'Dah.
"I wouldn't trust him to just anyone," she said with a grin, "only another father."
Now four months old, he was a wriggler, trying instantly to squirm out of Kusac's grip. When he found he couldn't, he started playing catch-the-finger, managing to give a couple of nasty nips before settling down to chew on his thumb while pulling at his other fingers with both hands.
"Am I going to have to suffer similar indignities?" Sorli asked, gently patting Mayoi's hand.
"What's dignity?" asked Kusac wryly, wincing as one of Chay'Dah's teeth nicked him.
"Dignity goes out the door never to return once you're a parent," Lijou agreed with a rumble of amusement as he placed the insulated food bag in the shade of the bushes. "But you wouldn't have it any other way," he added, sprawling down on the grass and rescuing Kusac from his son. "I'm sure Kusac agrees with me."
He smiled, thinking of his daughter, forgetting all else for the moment. "She made us complete," he said. "She loves so unconditionally, it's humbling, the trust she puts in us."
"A spiritual experience," agreed Lijou, letting his son clamber over him in his attempts to catch his tail tip.
"If you males had to put up with being chewed by those sharp little teeth six or so times a day for three weeks, you'd not call it spiritual," said Kha'Qwa, rolling her eyes as she pulled a harness and play leash out of her bag for her son.
"Not really?" said Mayoi, sitting up, a concerned look on her face. "Oh dear, I hope I'm not going to regret this."
Kha'Qwa laughed and leaned forward to grab Chay'Dah. "You won't even notice it, trust me! You'll be so busy looking down at the tiny face of your newborn that you'll see nothing else."
Kusac watched in admiration as with a couple of deft twists, she had her son fastened safely in. He'd never found it that easy with Kashini. Putting him down on the ground between herself and Lijou, she gave her mate the other end of the leash.
"Now even you can't lose him!" she said.
"Lose him?" asked Sorli. "I'm intrigued."
"I didn't lose him!" exclaimed Lijou, bracing himself as the cub pounced on his tail, mouth wide and paws spread. "I only put him down on the chair in my office for a moment..."
"And expected him to stay there like one of your comp pads," added Kha'Qwa, pulling off her tunic and folding it up neatly. "Of course, he didn't. And we were expecting Dhaika from the Retreat over for a policy meeting so the table had all the pastries and so on set out for them."
Mayoi began to laugh even as Kusac began to grin. The picture Kha'Qwa was managing to project was amusing.
"What happened?" asked Mayoi.
"Dhaika was already late and I was in the middle of clearing up the mess when Kha'Qwa came in to ask where Chay'Dah was."
"They ate packaged cookies," said Kha'Qwa, "and Lijou got to sit up all night with Chay'Dah and his belly ache!"
"It was a bit more than a belly ache as I remember it," grumbled Lijou, with an embarrassed grin. "He was throwing up and...other things as well! And I had an early class that morning."
Mayoi leaned weakly against Sorli, both of them unable to stop laughing.
"Where was Chay'Dah?" he managed to ask, holding aching sides.
"Under a chair stuffing himself," said Lijou. "Dhaika arrived to find us pulling my office apart looking for him. Rhyaz had to take him off to see Vartra's tomb for the next hour. The joys of parenthood," he said, then yelped and grabbed his son to prevent him from shredding his tail. "When do they get some idea of responsible behavior?" he demanded of Kusac.
"Not for a long time, I think," he laughed. "Kashini's about nine months now, and when she met Prince Zsurtul, she tried to eat his fingers. Wait till he starts talking. Then he'll embarrass you even more!"
Kha'Qwa got to her feet, still grinning. "I get to have the first swim on my own, so who's coming with me? Kusac?"

* * *

The heat, coupled with the swimming and the meal, had them all lying dozing contentedly in the sun. Even Chay'Dah was flopped out on his stomach fast asleep.
"Talk to me, Kusac," said Lijou, rolling over on his back until he was close enough to speak quietly to him.
"Hmm?"
"You've been with us for three days now, and though you've given me the medical information on what Kzizysus did, that's all. What's troubling you? I can feel something's not right."
He lifted himself up, leaning his chin on his forearms. "Nothing's wrong, Lijou," he said. "I'm just tired, that's all. Not sleeping well."
"You and Kaid," Lijou said, shielding his eyes as he turned to look at him. "So alike in some ways that you could almost be brothers. He had periods where he was plagued by visions and nightmares."
"I didn't say it was nightmares."
The priest rolled over onto his side, looking seriously at him. "To have learned so painfully to live blinded and deafened by your lack of Talent, and the loss of your Leska, only to have it set aside now with this cure must be unimaginably difficult. It's not something anyone can cope with alone, Kusac."
"It's not been easy," he admitted.
"And there's Kaid."
"What about Kaid?"
"I know the Gods guided you when you chose him as your Third."
"I think Kaid chose us," he murmured, eyes unfocusing as he seemed to step back in time until he could see Carrie and himself through the eyes of a small cub. He felt drawn to them, and when Kaid appeared, the presence of his adult self triggered the searing mental fusion of child and adult. Suddenly, he was filled with unconditional love for them.

* * *

"Kusac." His shoulder was being shaken, a damp cloth wiped across his face.
Unsteadily, he batted it away with his hand, finding himself looking up into Kha'Qwa's concerned face.
"Sorry," he said, trying to sit up. Other hands supported him as she sat back on her haunches, studying his face.
"He's fine," she said.
He smiled, then began to laugh gently.
"What is it?" asked Lijou, touching his neck to check his pulse.
Instantly Kusac's hand covered the priest's, holding it still. "I'm fine," he said, his grin gradually fading. "I just solved a puzzle, that's all." The vision had explained the bond between their Triad.
"You passed out," said Lijou as Kusac released his hand.
"A vision?" asked Sorli, sitting down beside him.
He shook his head. "An explanation."
"What did Annuur and Kzizysus really say was wrong, Kusac?" asked the Telepath Guild Master. "Why are you here at Stronghold, and how we can help you?"
He looked from one to the other. "I should have expected this," he said with a crooked Human smile. Then he told them.
"You were right to come back to us," said Lijou, reaching out to touch his shoulder compassionately. "Not many realize that helping our Brothers and Sisters come to terms with missions that go wrong is one of the major roles I perform at Stronghold."
"We may be able to force the memories to return, Kusac," began Sorli.
"No. They told me the memories must come to me. I'm going to have to just sit it out and hope it happens sooner rather than later."
"There are ways we can teach you to cope with them when they do come, and with the nightmares," said Lijou.
"The nightmares are bearable if I use my psi damper at night," he said, resting his chin on his knees. "Somehow I was making the dreams real, like holo images that Kashini and Kaid could see. I couldn't stay at home because of that and..." He stopped abruptly, realizing he'd said more than he wanted.
"Because of Carrie and Kaid's Link," finished Lijou. "Surely Carrie's telepathic abilities are silent now because of her pregnancy."
"You do realize it's quite possible that once she's had the cub, your Leska Link to her could be reestablished, don't you?" said Sorli. "Or is that the problem?"
"How can I hope to have our Link back if it means Kaid losing what he shares with her?"
"Then leave it to the Gods to decide," said Lijou gently. "Meanwhile, we'll help you prepare to deal with the memories and with relearning how to use your Talent."
Anchorage, Zhal-Nylam, 6th day (September)
Alex sat slumped in the mess, her punishment detail finally over. She had barely enough energy left to pick up her mug of c'shar. Nezoa, the junior she'd been twinned with, sat opposite her, equally exhausted.
A shadow fell over them, then the chair next to her was pulled out and Rhyaz sat down.
"Excuse us, Nezoa," he said. "This is private."
"Aye, Commander," she said, getting to her feet and leaving.
"Have you eaten tonight?" he asked quietly.
"I'm too tired to eat."
"You should try," he said. "You need the food for energy."
"I'm too tired, Rhyaz— or is it still Commander?" she asked with a touch of her usual acerbity.
"Rhyaz. We're both off duty now. They've got rather a nice soup you could have."
She looked at him. "You don't give up, do you?"
"Not if I think the person has some saving graces, no."
"I'm too tired for this. Did you want something?"
"I came to tell you I was impressed with the way you've worked hard these last three days, harder than you did at Stronghold."
She looked at him, checking the set of his ears. "Praise from you? I think this is a first," she said.
"Perhaps because this is the first time you've actually put any effort into the work you've been assigned."
"It was interesting, most of the time. Studying at Stronghold is boring, especially when if I look for it, I can find the knowledge there already."
He sighed. "You can't rely on our Link for everything, Alex. Apart from anything else, even if you have my knowledge, you have to practice it to acquire the skills."
"I don't have to do it all day, every day! Give me something interesting to do as well."
"You enjoyed being a messenger?"
"Some of it. The juniors all gossip and speculate about what's going on." She shook her head. "They're way off! They think it's something to do with the Primes." She stifled a yawn and got to her feet. "I'm going to bed unless there's anything else you want."
"I came to walk you to our room."
She eyed him tiredly. "I'm sleeping down with the juniors, or had you forgotten that?"
"You can sleep there later if you want, Alex," he said. "You're probably too tired to notice, but our Link day is starting."
"Yeah, well I'm too tired for that. Do you want me to come with you?"
She watched him hesitate, weighing up the possible answers, and turned away. If he had to think about it, then he was only interested because it was their Link day.
"Actually, yes, I'm inviting you to my room," he said, getting up. "The dispenser there has protein drinks if you're too tired to eat."
She glanced at him again, surprised at the concern she was feeling from him. It was genuine concern. In her experience, most people were only interested in being seen to make the right noises, it didn't go deeper than that.
"Have you missed me, then?" she asked lightly as they began to walk out of the mess. She could see the few off duty personnel surreptitiously looking at them as they passed. Granted the Guild Master's presence alone was reason enough, but though everyone knew she was his Leska, few had actually seen them together. That much she had found out from Nezoa. She glanced at him, seeing the broad jawline and the tips of his wide pointed ears just showing above his shock of darker brown hair. Wherever he went, he'd draw admiring glances.
He turned his head to her and she knew he'd picked up on her thoughts. Before he could suppress it, she felt him wish she'd missed him, not the attention he brought her when they were together.
"I've been busy, Alex," he said, opening the door into the corridor for her. "I haven't really had time to worry about anything but the work we're doing here."
She could hear the tiredness in his voice now, and felt a pang of guilt that she'd asked him. It wasn't as if she didn't know how busy he'd been; she and Nezoa had been running around for him and Lyand after all.
"Being honest, I could do without losing tomorrow," he continued, "but asking you to let me work when I can during our Link day wouldn't be fair to you."
For the first time, she began looking through the memories she'd inherited from him, trying to find those that related to why they were here. Through his eyes, she saw the military vids he'd seen of the devastation of Khyaal and Szurtha, the liberation of Keiss and the questioning of the Valtegan on the
Khalossa.
Then from him, she picked up his worries on the setting up of the Watchers and the relative positions of the Valtegan planets in relation to Earth, Shola, and its remaining colony, and the two Touiban worlds. She suddenly realized just how much danger they faced, and it appalled her.
Too preoccupied to notice her thoughts, Rhyaz stopped and opened the door to his small lounge area, letting her enter first. Following her in, he unfastened his belt and stripped off his uniform jacket, throwing them both onto the nearest chair as he headed for the dispenser that had been set up on one of the drawer units. Pushing his thoughts of work aside, he concentrated on selecting a drink for her.
Now that he'd begun to relax, Alex could see how exhausted he was by the set of his ears and the way he was letting his tail hang down close to his legs.
"I want you to try a protein drink," he said, waiting for the tall glass to fill. "Our energy levels can affect each other, you know."
"I'd forgotten that," she said, glancing round as she ventured farther into the room. Apart from the clothes he'd just discarded, it was spotlessly tidy and clean.
"Not me, I'm afraid," said Rhyaz, picking up the glass and bringing it over to her. "Lyand sees it gets kept tidy. I don't have time to do it. Here, try this. Don't force yourself to drink it, but at least try it. Make yourself comfortable, I'm going to have a shower."
"Rhyaz," she said, reaching out to catch his arm as he turned away. The touch brought more information; he didn't like what he was doing to the Valtegan captives, the shower was as much to wash himself psychologically as physically. And the drink was for her, because she was tired, not just because her tiredness was Linked to his. With everything that was on his mind, he was still thinking of her.
"Can I help? I didn't realize how important what we're doing here is. I don't mind if you need to work tomorrow. I'm sure we can manage it somehow."
His expression changed briefly to one of surprise, then relaxed back into tiredness. "Using the last three or four hours of our day would help," he said. "That's more than enough, thank you, Alex."
"I did what you said, I looked at your memories," she said, taking a mouthful of the drink and finding it quite pleasant after all. "I saw how close to the Valtegan worlds we are. I know the danger we're in. I meant it, can I help?"
"You really want to help? Then please give me one less thing to worry about," he said, touching her face. "You. I'm not being unkind, just practical. If you want constant attention, take a lover, Alex, someone younger than me. Young males under thirty, ideally one around twenty, are focused on finding a mate. One of them would give you all the attention you want. You're entitled to have a lover, just as I am. Being Leskas doesn't mean we have an exclusive relationship. And try to find something in the Brotherhood that you want to do so I can get on with the job of running it." He turned away from her and went into the bathing room, closing the door quietly behind him.
She stood there, looking at the door, too stunned to react. The light rapport he'd allowed her was gone now, closed off as firmly as the bathing room door had been. Finishing the drink, she returned the glass to the recycler at the side of the dispensing unit and began to take off her own jacket, thinking through what he'd said. It hurt that he saw her as shallow, but then she supposed she could see why. She hadn't exactly made an effort to dispel that impression.
There must be something she could do to convince him that this time she was serious. His memories scared her. In coming to Shola, she and Kai were in far more danger from the Valtegans than they'd been on Earth. Why hadn't she thought it through properly before they'd sneaked onto the merchant ship? On Earth, the Valtegans were a distant threat, no more. Not here. Rhyaz was one of the few leaders who stood between them and certain death. And she was disrupting his life so much it was affecting his work.
Tears started to her eyes and she began to cry. She didn't want constant attention, all she wanted was someone to care about her and let her lead her own life. Rhyaz had offered her all those, and a fresh start, and she'd messed it up by not taking him seriously.
Wrenching the bathing room door open, she ran inside, flinging her arms around him as he stood in the shower.
"I don't want anyone else," she sobbed, plastering herself to his wet body. "I want you for yourself, not because of who you are!"
Rhyaz staggered back, grabbing for her as he tried to keep his balance. "Alex! Vartra's bones, you nearly had us both cracking our skulls on the tiles!"
Shoulders heaving, she clung to him, winding her hands in his slick pelt when he tried to break free. Abruptly, the jets of water stopped.
"Alex," he said, giving her a shake. Then he felt her terror at the images she'd seen. This was something neither he nor Lijou had even considered, and they should have. "It's all right, Alex," he said more gently, putting an arm around her and stroking her wet hair. "The danger is there, yes, but not imminent. The Valtegans don't know we exist. They think they killed us all when they destroyed our two colonies. They're at war with their own kind right now, they aren't interested in us."
"I should have looked at your memories like you said, learned about you and what you're doing. I didn't mean to kill the Valtegan prisoner!"
"You didn't," he said, then when she looked up at him, blinking the water from her eyes, "We found out it was the chemicals. I'd forgotten just how much I've seen and done that you shouldn't be aware of, Alex. You're too young to be exposed to all my experiences. All I wanted you to do was to understand the importance of the Brotherhood and the work I do and not— behave like the kid you are," he sighed, holding her close, realizing that despite their caution, he'd still expected too much of her.
"I really want to help, and to understand you and what you're doing," she said earnestly.
"I know your intentions are good, but you forget them, Alex. You can't help it. We get the odd youngling like you who's not grown up with the discipline of the Warrior or Telepath Guilds before they come to us. It takes them a long time to settle in. They have to grow up fast to do it, and I don't know that you could do that. Or that I'd want you to," he added truthfully.
"You're afraid I'm like Mara was."
Reaching behind him, he unfastened her hands and gently propelled her out of the shower cubicle. "Mara's doing well," he said, feeling guilty that she'd picked up on that. "She has a Human Leska now, they're the only pair we have. The problem wasn't really her, it was Zhyaf. He was too staid for her, couldn't adjust to having a young Leska."
"And I'm younger than Mara, that's what worries you," she said, shivering now as the wet clothes drew the heat from her body.
"I'm not Zhyaf, Alex," he said firmly. "If you would only make an effort to work with me, we wouldn't have a problem."
"I just said I would. I can do what I've been doing with Nezoa. Lyand said we were helping you both."
"It's a possibility, of course," he said, the cold she was feeling beginning to affect him. "But now isn't the time to talk about it. You need to get out of those wet clothes."
Miserably, she nodded, hands fumbling with the fatigues as she tried to stop shivering.
He sighed and began to help her. What harm would it do to tell her he cared about her? She probably knew it anyway. "All right, yes, I did miss you," he admitted. "I don't know why, but I did."
"I do want you for yourself, Rhyaz," she said, concentrating on what his hands were doing. "Sure, I like it that folk look up to you because of who you are, and are envious of me, but is that so wrong? You used me to make Raiban mad when we were at Chagda Station."