Stuck in the Middle (11 page)

“You look incredible.” Allie leaned back against the headboard and balanced a glass of lemonade on her belly. “Those jeans are awesome.”

In the middle of her bedroom, Joan swiveled to examine herself from the side view in the full-length mirror on the closet door. “They ought to look good, for the price I paid.”

They’d spent the afternoon on a whirlwind shopping expedition, where her sister forced her to buy designer jeans, a double-draped Banana Republic silk jersey, and a pair of strappy sandals that cost more than any shoes Joan had ever owned, all from different stores in the mall. The cost of the clothing Joan wore on her body right now could probably buy an Italian villa.

“They’re True Religion, silly. Of course they’re expensive.”

Joan shook her head. “The CKs would have been fine. In fact, the Levi’s were great. The only difference I could see in any of them was the price. I doubt if Ken will even notice the brand.”

“Ken doesn’t have to notice.” She sipped from her glass. “You’ll know what you’re wearing, and the knowledge will boost your confidence.”

There might be something to that. Joan swiveled again and admired the rear view. She’d never been much of a clotheshorse, but she had to admit she looked good in these. Plus, the afternoon had been fun, trying on the outrageously expensive clothes Allie selected. And then letting Allie do her makeup too. It was almost like the dress-up parties they loved when they were kids.

She couldn’t get used to wearing her hair down, though. This was a totally different look from her usual tidy ponytail. Good, but more . . . breezy.

“You look great,” Allie repeated. “Ken’s going to drool all over himself when he sees you.”

“I don’t know about that.” Joan turned a look on her sister. “Tori will probably show up in a sequined ball gown or something.”

Allie raised her eyes to the ceiling. “Sequins? No way. She’ll be draped in designers from head to toe. But don’t let that get you flustered. You can take her. Have some confidence.”

Joan clicked her expensive heels together and gave a mock salute. “Yes, sir!”

Allie glanced at her watch and sat up. “We don’t have much time. Tori will be here in half an hour, so let’s practice some flirting.”

Joan cocked an eyebrow. “Practice flirting?”

“Yes, silly.” Allie rummaged in her duffel bag and pulled out a thin stack of papers. “Tori is an expert, so you need to make sure you’re on top of things.” She shuffled through the pages as she talked. “Keep in mind that 55 percent of the impression you make on someone is based on your appearance and body language, 38 percent on your style of speaking, and only 7 percent on what you say. So what you say doesn’t matter that much, as long as you look good saying it.”

Joan dropped onto the bed and peered over the top of the papers. “Where in the world did you learn that?”

Allie looked up. “I googled it.”

“They actually have stuff on the Internet to teach you how to flirt?”

“Tons. Now pay attention. We don’t have much time so we’ll focus on body language for now. Eye contact is extremely important. The longer you maintain eye contact, the stronger the signal you’re sending to the guy.”

Joan frowned. “What sort of signal am I sending?”

“That you’re interested in him, that you find him attractive. That’s what flirting is all about, signaling your attraction to a guy and letting him know you’d like to move the relationship forward. But you’ve got to be careful with eye contact. It’s very powerful.”

“Powerful? Oh, come on.” Joan twisted away from her sister on the bed.

“I’m serious. If you hold your target’s gaze too long too soon, he’ll either think you’re a stalker or you want to jump into bed with him, and obviously you don’t want either of those. So the trick is to go gradually. When you talk to him, make eye contact. Just for a moment, like a second or so, and then look away. Then look back again. If he meets your eye a second time, he’s returning your interest.”

“This is ridiculous.” But in spite of herself, Joan was interested. She nodded toward the papers. “What else does it say?”

“Proximity is important. Don’t invade his personal zone right away. Picture him standing inside a hula hoop.”

The image of Ken with a plastic pink-and-white-striped circle around his waist made Joan giggle. “What size hula hoop? Regular size, or one of those giant ones we had when we were kids?”

Allie glared. “If you’re not going to take this seriously, I won’t bother trying to help you. Now, if you’re talking to him face-to-face, stay outside his hula hoop. Gradually inch closer and watch his body language. If he leans away from you, or if he folds his arms or anything like that, you’re coming on too strong.”

Joan’s giggles dissolved. This was all so confusing. “So is it better to sit beside him or across from him at dinner?”

“I’ve taken care of that already.” Allie looked up from the papers. “Gram is going to seat him at the end of the table, with you and Tori on either side. Your job is to keep him leaning toward you, even when Tori is talking. His shoulders should be turned toward you, or you could try to get him to shift his body toward your side of his chair.”

“How am I going to do that?”

Allie threw her hands up in the air. “That’s what I’m telling you. Now, let’s talk about touch.”

Joan’s throat felt raspy. She leaned across the bed and grabbed Allie’s lemonade. “I have to touch him?”

“Not too soon,” her sister commanded. “When his body is oriented toward you, and when he’s consistently making eye contact with you, then you can very briefly touch him on the arm to emphasize a point. Watch his reaction, and if he doesn’t back away from you, do it again a few minutes later. But whatever you do, keep it brief. Touching his arm for more than a second or two is a bold move. And stay away from his hands. Hands are too intimate for this stage.”

“Hands are intimate?” Joan gave a helpless wail. “I’ll never remember all this.”

“Of course you will. Most of this is intuitive, you do it without realizing it. Flirting is the natural order of things. You’re just like the peacock, showing off your beautiful feathers to attract a mate.”

“The colorful peacock is a guy,” Joan reminded her. “The girl peacock is supposed to sit back and watch the guy strut.”

“He’ll never strut your way if another girl peacock grabs his attention first.”

Joan threw herself backward on the mattress. “It’s no use. I can’t do this stuff. I’ll feel like an idiot.”

“Yes, you can. Now stand up.” Allie nudged her with a toe. “We’re going to practice hair flipping.”

Joan heaved a sigh and rolled off the side of the bed. “I have to flip my hair? You mean like in
Legally Blonde
?”

“Exactly like that. A woman’s hair is one of the most attractive features to a guy.”

Joan moaned. “Then I’m doomed. Tori’s hair is perfect.”

“No,” Allie corrected, “Tori’s hair is short, gelled, and stylish. She can’t flip her hair because it’s cemented into place by expensive salon products. Your hair is perfect for flipping. Now watch this.”

Allie leaned forward so she was not touching the headboard. She arranged her blonde hair in front of her shoulders, and then tossed her head with a rolling motion. Her hair flipped expertly behind her back. She ended the gesture by making eye contact with Joan, and grinned. “Now you try it.”

Ignoring a rising sense of panic, Joan turned toward the mirror. She arranged her hair, and then imitated Allie’s gesture. Not only did her hair flip behind her shoulders, the silver that dangled from her earlobes shimmered with the effort. “Hey, that looked pretty good.”

“Not bad.” Her sister nodded and heaved herself off the bed. “Not bad at all. You keep working on it and I’ll go upstairs and see if Mom and Gram need any help. I’ll leave this here for you to read later, when we’re ready to move to Phase Two.” She set the papers down on the nightstand and left the room.

Joan spent a few moments in hair flipping practice. Then she let her gaze sweep over her reflection in the mirror. Nerves tickled her stomach. No wonder she was no good at flirting. There was so much to master. She’d probably be a total flop at the body language thing, but at least she looked good. What did Allie say? That was 55 percent of flirting. The way the silky fabric of the jersey draped from both shoulders to cross at her waist accentuated her lean body. The milk chocolate color made the brown of her eyes look deeper, or maybe that was the mascara Allie had layered on. And the shoes were awesome. She turned a heel to admire them. The clothes did give her a measure of confidence, but she would never admit that to her older sister.

The bedroom door burst open and Allie rushed in, flushed with excitement. “Ken just left his house. I saw him through the window. He’ll be here any second.”

The doorbell rang, and Joan’s stomach flip-flopped. She grabbed for Allie’s hands and tried to fight the panic that rose in her throat. “I can’t do this. I’m too nervous!”

“Oh, yes, you can.” Allie lifted her chin into the air. “You’re ready, girl. Now go up there and do your thing.”

Allie squeezed Joan’s hands, and Joan returned the gesture gratefully. Then she dashed out of the room and up the stairs to the front door with her sister close on her heels. Gram came out of the kitchen, but Allie waved her away. “We’ll get it, Gram.”

Joan stood on the landing for a moment, took a deep breath, and relaxed her shoulders. Then she put a smile on her face and swung the door open.

On the front porch, Ken drew a breath to say something and then froze, his lips open. His gaze swept to her feet and then came back to her eyes. A thrill coursed down Joan’s spine as he held the eye contact for much longer than the brief second Allie prescribed as a starting point. Remembering Allie’s instructions, she looked away, a shy smile on her lips, and then glanced back at his face.

“Hi, Ken.”

“Joan. Hi.” His throat convulsed as he swallowed. “You look, uh, very nice this evening.”

“Thank you. Please come in.” She stepped back to allow him to enter, and then closed the door. “You remember my sister?”

Joan gestured toward Allie, who stood watching with a wide grin. She stepped forward and stuck her hand out. “Nice to see you again, Ken. Come on in and have a seat.”

When Ken caught sight of Gram standing in the kitchen doorway, a genuine smile lit his face. He advanced toward her, his hand extended.

“Mrs. Hancock, thank you again for inviting me. I realized about half an hour ago that I should have offered to bring something.”

Gram took his hand in one of hers, and patted it with the other. “Nonsense. You’re our guest tonight. We’re glad you could join us.”

Gram looked particularly nice this evening as well. She wore a print dress that she normally reserved for church, and had put on lipstick and powder. Her eyes twinkled as she smiled at Ken.

Mom stepped out of the kitchen. She advanced toward their guest with an outstretched hand. “Dr. Fletcher, we haven’t met. I’m Carla Sanderson.”

“Please call me Ken.” He shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you. I understand you’re an RN at the hospital.”

“That’s right. I’m up on four, in Transitional Care.” Mom released his hand, and her glance slid down to the landing. Her eyes widened when she caught sight of Joan. “Joan, you—” She stopped. Judging by the look on Mom’s face, she must think her middle daughter looked pretty good tonight. Hopefully she had sense enough not to comment on it in front of Ken. It would be beyond embarrassing to have her mother make a big deal about a few new clothes and a little makeup.

Mom’s forehead dipped in silent acknowledgment of the changes in Joan’s appearance, and then she looked back at Ken. “Please come in and have a seat. We’re just finishing up in the kitchen. Tori and Eric should be here soon.”

Joan exhaled, relieved. Allie stepped in front of her and walked backward into the living room, using her body as a shield as she gave a huge grin and a thumbs-up.

“We’ll eat as soon as everyone else gets here,” Gram told them.

Joan went to stand near Ken, careful to keep a distance of about two feet between them. “Would you like something to drink? Some iced tea, maybe, or water?”

“Iced tea sounds great, thanks.” He didn’t move away from her, which, according to Allie, was a good sign.

“I’ll get it,” Allie said. “You guys sit down and talk.”

A lump of nerves lodged in her throat. About what? Talking must be covered in Phase Two.

“Thank you, honey.” Gram led the way to the sofa as Mom and Allie disappeared into the kitchen.

Ken caught Joan’s eyes once more before following her. Despite the nervousness, her insides sang. Allie was right. That eye contact was powerful stuff.

Gram sat in the center of the sofa and motioned for Ken to sit beside her. Joan hesitated, debating the best position. Gram had him closed in on the left, so she selected a place on the love seat, on the end nearest Ken.

“So how do you find the house?” Gram asked. “It was empty for such a long time before you moved in, I hope it didn’t smell musty.”

“I haven’t noticed any smell.” Ken shrugged. “It’s actually a lot more comfortable now that I have a bit of furniture.” He looked toward Joan, a smile curving the corners of his mouth.

“Oh, it was delivered, then?”

“Just this morning. The living room stuff looks great.

And the bed is so comfortable.” He leaned against the sofa to stretch his back. “I had the best five hours of sleep this afternoon I’ve had in years.”

Allie returned and set a glass of iced tea on the coffee table in front of Ken, and one in front of Gram. She looked at Joan. “Would you like something?”

Joan shook her head. “No, thanks, I’ll wait for dinner.” Behind Joan’s back, the front door opened.

“Anybody home?” called Tori’s voice.

Allie looked over Joan’s head, her eyes going wide. Joan’s stomach fluttered. Let the games begin.

~ 9 ~

Joan stood and turned in time to see Tori enter the living room. Allie had been right—she wasn’t wearing sequins. But she might as well have been. She looked like she’d just stepped off a Paris runway in a two-piece black suit with a sleek narrow skirt and bead accents. A lacy red camisole peeked between satin-trimmed lapels. Ken got to his feet, his eyes fixed on her little sister.