Student of Kyme (6 page)

The mail
bureau wasn’t very busy that day. I asked how long it would take
for the package to reach Jesith and the clerk replied, ‘A despatch
to the south goes out in two days. Given the route, it can take up
to a month for items to reach their destination, but it’s often
sooner than that. Depends what the rider has to deliver and
where.’

I was
pleased to discover that quite a lot of mail was scheduled for the
south; this meant that the clerk was happy to charge me a pittance
for my small delivery. ‘There’s a pile going to Jesith,’ he said.
‘As you must know, quite a lot of communication passes between here
and there.’

I hadn’t
known that, but looked upon it as a fortunate
circumstance.

I had
considered whether I should write a letter to Jassenah, but somehow
I couldn’t find the heart to do it. I’d considered sending the
package anonymously, but then on impulse, before I finally handed
it over to the mail clerk, I asked for a pen and wrote ‘from
Gesaril, Kyme’ on the back. I hoped the gesture of the exquisite
little box and its pure sparkling contents would imply what I
wanted it to imply.

Huriel
was pleased with me, and didn’t question why I’d been out for most
of the day. Perhaps he thought I’d spent all that time with
Malakess. As the afternoon faded into evening, I began to feel
uncomfortable about the package I’d sent to Jassenah. Was I sending
it to him merely to maintain some kind of contact, no matter how
tenuous, with Ysobi? My mind said not, but I wasn’t sure it could
be trusted. I even considered going to the mail bureau in the
morning to retrieve the package. But in the end I decided to let it
go. I would deliver it into the hands of fate. Jassenah might throw
my gift into the nearest pond, for all I knew.

Pelfazzarsday, Ardourmoon 8

An
invitation has come. How could he? I can’t write any more
today.

Lunilsday, Ardourmoon 9

So, this
is what happened yesterday…

A
function was being held at the Academy, in honour of a visiting
delegation of Nagini, hara from a hot country far to the east.
Malakess was invited to this party, naturally, and had sent me an
invitation asking if I’d accompany him. Clearly, Huriel expected me
to react with surprise and pleasure to the invitation, but honestly
I felt sick and disappointed. I’d believed Malakess had understood
and respected me; he’d seemed like the impartial teacher that Ysobi
had never been. But then this. While Huriel enthused about what a
privilege this was for me, I sat there in silence, staring at the
note, thinking differently. All the time while we’d been speaking,
Malakess had been like any other har and had wanted me. That’s what
this was all about. As if he cared about whether or not I met
dignitaries from a foreign land. He wanted me on his arm, no doubt,
to show off to his colleagues, and then later he’d expect me to
swoon into his bed. It was tiresomely predictable.

‘
What’s the matter?’ Huriel asked, his excitement punctured by
the fact I wasn’t sharing it.

I
shrugged. ‘Well… I just didn’t expect this.’

‘
It’s an amazing opportunity,’ Huriel said. ‘Not just anyhar
gets invited to Academy functions, you know. I haven’t been asked
to this one! And the hara from the Nagini are extremely
high-ranking. Imagine what tales they’ll have to tell. We know so
little of what goes on in other lands.’

‘
I haven’t been invited,’ I said. ‘Malakess just had an invite
for himself and a companion.’

‘
So what?’ Huriel paused and frowned. ‘I thought everything
was fine between you and Kess now.’

‘
It is… well I thought it was. Why does he want me to go,
Huriel?’

‘
It’s simply a generous gesture,’ Huriel replied. ‘What do you
mean?’

I sighed.
‘He could have asked me back to his house to teach me. He could
have offered me work. He could even have told me about this event
while I was with him.’ I shook my head. ‘No, he’s been thinking
about me, that’s all. I’m sure he’s telling himself he’s concerned
for me, and can help me, but ultimately it’s just down to the same
old thing.’

Huriel’s
expression had become flinty. ‘If you’re referring to intimacy,
then surely that’s an intrinsic part of our being? If, indeed, he
does wish to know you better, how can that possibly offend
you?’

I pressed
my hands briefly against my eyes. ‘I don’t know,’ I said, ‘but it
does. It’s the assumption, maybe…’

Huriel
expressed a humourless laugh. ‘Gesaril, you’re a lovely har, you
and I both know that. Perhaps Malakess does desire you. Wouldn’t
you be more offended if he didn’t?’

I glanced
at him; he was regarding me with his head to one side. ‘No, I
wouldn’t. You don’t understand.’

‘
The way I see it, if one har desires another, he initiates
some kind of social event in order to find out whether anything
else is viable. Perhaps that is what your invitation’s about, but
perhaps not. In either case, you should just go and enjoy yourself.
You’re under no obligation to do anything you don’t want to
do.’

‘
I don’t want anything embarrassing to happen.’

Huriel
rolled his eyes. ‘Oh, for the Ag’s sake, what kind of har do you
think Malakess is? He can read signals, you know. Just go, Gesaril.
Stop fretting about everything. If you don’t want to be with
Malakess, fine, but there might be other hara there you like. One
day you’re going to have to crawl out of that den you’ve built for
yourself. You can’t remain alone for ever. It’s bad for
you.’

‘
I suppose so.’

‘
I know so! Also, it will do you good to dress up and revel in
your own loveliness for an evening. You never pay attention to how
you look, and I can tell that’s not really in your
nature.’

‘
I haven’t got any suitable clothes, nothing formal,
anyway.’

‘
I’ll get you something.’

‘
Huriel, no! You’ve done enough for me as it is.’ I don’t know
why I bothered protesting, since it was obvious Huriel had already
made up his mind.

And so,
at my friend and mentor’s injunction, I have asked Ystayne to drop
a note over to Malakess’s house saying that I am grateful for the
invite and yes, I’d be delighted to accompany him to the Academy
party. It has occurred to me that Malakess’s assistant should be
the har to stand at his side at this important function. A wing of
foreboding brushes my heart. How will this har feel when he finds
out about my role in the proceedings? I can’t think about that.
I’ve done nothing wrong. I don’t even desire Malakess. If hara want
to make something more of it, then they can. I don’t
care.

Aruhanisday, Ardourmoon 20

I feel as
if I’m about to go through feybraiha again, or take a blood bond,
or something. The household has been thrown into a flurry of the
vapours at the prospect of my night out. Huriel ordered an
assortment of clothes for me from Yorvik, Ystayne took me to the
brother of a friend of his who trimmed my hair, (it was badly in
need of attention, to be honest), while Rayzie insisted on spending
nearly a whole day at the monthly fair with me, to buy bits of
jewellery to go with my new clothes. I only need one set for the
evening; it’s insane. It’s not as if I’ll be able to run off to the
bathroom every half hour to change my costume. But Huriel seems to
think that the function will open up an entire diary of social
events for me, and that I’ll need a wardrobe for it. However,
despite my initial exasperation, my friends’ behaviour is
infectious and I’m starting to feel excited and nervous too. It is
a big thing, far bigger than I’d thought. Phyle leaders from all
over Alba Sulh will be at the event, as well as hara from Immanion
and other tribes in Almagabra and surrounding countries.

Malakess
has been conspicuously absent from the house for the past couple of
weeks. At first, I thought this was to do with me, but Huriel told
me it was because he’s immersed in arrangements for the event, as
well as entertaining foreign hara who have already arrived in Kyme.
Sometimes we see them in town; imposing hara in unusual clothes.
Nohar has seen the Nagini yet, although they were supposed to have
arrived two days ago. The party takes place tomorrow. This time
tomorrow I will be getting ready for it.

Pelfazzarsday, Ardourmoon 21

I have
tried on all my clothes at least three times each, standing before
my mirror, eyeing myself critically. I’ve managed to persuade
everyhar else in the house to leave me alone for an hour. This has
displeased them greatly, and I feel a bit mean, because I know they
want to share at least a small part of my big night out. But I need
to be alone. I need to be with myself, the self who’s been curled
up in my heart these past few months. Also, I think conflicting
opinions about what I should wear would be confusing. I’ve
eventually opted for a pair of wide loose trousers in dark forest
green silk velvet, with a plain black silk top and an embroidered
thigh length jacket that matches the trousers. I’ve never worn such
costly garments before. It does wonders for the self esteem. My
reflection doesn’t look like me. I’ve kept the accessories
understated and haven’t done anything too shocking with my hair,
despite the collection of jewelled pins, carved spikes and so on
that Rayzie found for me. I’ve only brushed it and left it loose.
It just touches my shoulders again, now that it’s been cut, and
looks thicker. As for cosmetics, I’m still vain enough to think I
don’t need them. I’ve simply applied the lightest brush of kohl
around my eyes. When I’d finished my preparations, I took one last
look at myself in the glass. Well, this is it. I’m about to walk
out of my safe hiding place into the social world of Kyme. I have
no idea where it will lead, but at least I feel excited about
it.

Aghamasday, Ardourmoon 22

Well, a
lot happened last night; some good, some not so good. I think I’ve
made a complete fool of myself – again.

Once I’d
finished getting ready, I went down to Huriel and the others, who
were waiting in the sitting room for me. I made a grand entrance,
as they expected me to do. Pausing at the threshold, I struck a
pose and said, ‘Well, here I am. Will I do?’

Ystayne
laughed loudly, Rayzie grinned and rolled his eyes, and Huriel
said, ‘I think you know the answer to that! Here, have a glass of
wine before Kess’s carriage arrives. Nervous?’

I went to
take the glass off him and sat down on the edge of the sofa. ‘Yes.
Very. I hope I don’t say anything stupid to the wrong
har.’

‘
Just stick by Malakess,’ Huriel said. ‘He won’t abandon
you.’

I drank
some wine. ‘He’d better not!’

Within
minutes we heard the sound of horses’ hooves upon the gravel
outside the house. A hot wave coursed through me. This was it. I
stood up and handed my empty glass to Huriel. He hugged me and
kissed my cheek. ‘You look marvellous,’ he said softly. ‘Rejoice in
yourself, my dear. This is your time.’

I kissed
him briefly on the lips. ‘Thanks, Huriel, for
everything.’

He
squeezed me. ‘Go. Don’t keep him waiting.’

While my
new family stood in the window bay to watch me leave, I went into
the hallway alone. I faced the great front door, took a breath, and
opened it. Two black horses stood stamping on the drive, harnessed
to an elegant black carriage. The driver touched his brow, in a
gesture of greeting and appreciation. I inclined my head. Malakess
opened the carriage door for me and I went to him.

The
Academy of Kyme lies a couple of miles outside the town, so I had
plenty of time to get more anxious and nervous than I already was.
Malakess complimented me on my appearance and then made small talk,
most of which I didn’t even hear. He was dressed all in black, his
long dark red hair loose upon his breast, but for a couple of thin
braids on each side. He was wearing kohl too, which made him look
very different. His fingers were crammed with glittering rings and
I could tell the stones were real gems, not glass. Like me,
Malakess had put on for the evening a costume that was more than
clothes. Tonight, he was High Codexia and must maintain an
image.

When we
were close to the Academy, Malakess leaned forward in his seat
towards me. ‘Be wary of any Gelaming,’ he said. ‘They will descend
upon you like hawks, and before you know it… well, anything could
happen. You could wake up in a bed in Immanion.’

‘
I hope you’ll protect me,’ I said, rather tersely.

Malakess
smiled. ‘I’ll do my best, but we’re bound to get distracted and
separated at times. Try to stay close. I’ll be swamped, but I’ll
keep an eye out for you. Use this night to your advantage, Gesaril.
Be alert for any opportunities.’

‘
Such as Gelaming beds?’

‘
Only if that is your preference.’

I
grimaced. ‘No. Beds of any kind are not my preference at the
moment.’

He said
nothing to that, and the silence was slightly uncomfortable. Before
I could stop myself, my mouth had blurted, ‘Why did you ask me to
come with you?’