Stunned (The Lucidites Book 2) (35 page)

I retrieve my iPad from the bedside table. The infirmary door hasn’t even swung completely shut before Aiden throws the cables to the ground and marches over to me. “Roya, please stop being angry with me,” he says, taking the iPad out of my hands and tossing it on the bed.

“I’m not angry at you, Aiden,” I say, staring at the letters on his T-shirt.

“So look at me already.”

I lift my gaze up to his. The bruises I touched a day ago have already dissolved a bit. “Happy now?”

“No, not at all,” he says, stepping forward again until less than a foot separates us.

“Aiden, I’m tired of being your secret. I don’t want to sneak around. It feels wrong and like I said the other night, it frustrates me that we can’t just be together.”

“It frustrates me too,” he says, staring down at me.

I step back, needing some space to clear my thoughts and bolster my confidence. “Well, this is your situation. I keep wondering why I’m subjecting myself to these restrictions. I don’t have a job where I have to hide my relationship. I can be with anyone I want—openly.”

“Like George?”

I gulp.
Should have seen that coming.

“Yes, like George.” His eyes flare with red-hot anger. “But that’s not the point I’m trying to make here,” I say, brushing past him to clear the candy wrappers which have accumulated on my tray. More than anything I need to do something with my hands which are threatening to shake. “The point is that I can’t keep this up much longer. And I shouldn’t have to.”

Aiden places his hand on mine, bringing my attention directly to him. I let the cellophane wrappers fall back on the table. “Roya, it’s not like I want to either. I wish I could broadcast how I feel about you on the Lucidite newsfeed.”

“That would no doubt be deemed an inappropriate use of the technology.”

An almost imperceptible grin reaches his eyes.

“I’m not asking you to publicize anything about us. I’m tired of sneaking around. It cheapens this,” I say, motioning between us.

His expression darkens. “Look, life apparently has a vendetta against me, ’cause if you were anyone else and I felt the way I do then this would be easy, we could make our relationship public. But with you, it’s not that simple.”

“How’s this suddenly about me?”

He laughs. He actually laughs. If I didn’t want to kiss him so badly, I might actually clock him.

“Roya, this has always been about you.”

I close my eyes, shake my head.

“It’s true. When you were elected to challenge Zhuang it was made clear to everyone working at the Institute that we needed to support you in every way possible.”

“Well, that mission is over.”

“It doesn’t matter. Even after the Day of the Duel I’ve been required to make daily reports regarding your frequency changes.”

“How are you doing that?”

“I installed a recorder device in there.” He points to the frequency adjuster around my neck. I forget I’m wearing it most of the time. “It sends me your readings every half hour.”

“Why are you measuring my frequency changes?”

“Trey worries that the adjuster could have long-term effects on your natural frequency vibrations. Since he isn’t about to kick George out of the Institute, he’s asked me to innovate another device that will fix the problem without changing your frequency. And until then he wants me to keep an eye on the changes.”

“That’s so weird,” I say, stretching out the last word.
Not to mention totally perplexing.

“And now there’s this whole Chase situation to deal with. I’m certain once I leave here I’ll be working nonstop to find a patch for your protective charm.”

“Aiden, what does this have to do with you and me?”

He snatches my hands. His grip makes my eyes widen. I have yet to feel such urgency in him. Maybe he’s desperate to express his point. Maybe he’s still off because of the drugs from the Grotte. I listen regardless.

“Can’t you see that you’re not just some girl? You’re the one that my work is often centered around. Exposing our relationship would give the other Head Officials ammunition to say I’m not taking my job seriously. They’d think I was taking advantage of my position.”

Suddenly he’s haunted by something so real, and without knowing what it is I’m still assaulted by the chill it leaves in his eyes. “Since I was promoted I’ve had to prove myself. I’ve had to watch my behavior more than any of the other Head Officials. They’re all conservative. Close-minded. Old-school. That’s one of the reasons Flynn promoted me, he wanted innovation. He said he’d persuade the others to accept my ideas, but he died before he could fulfill that promise. Since I’ve been in this position I’ve only met resistance from every one of the Head Officials. I feel like they’re all looking for a reason to discredit me now that Flynn isn’t here to vouch for my worth. I already have to regularly churn out new technology in order to keep them off my back.”

“But you do,” I say. “Mind-blowing technology constantly comes out of your lab.”

“You think my technology is mind-blowing?”

“Of course, don’t you?”

A provocative glint lights up his eyes. “The only thing that has ever blown my mind is you.”

“That’s a great line.” I laugh.

“It’s not a line. It’s how I feel.” His penetrating gazes are becoming increasingly difficult to ignore.

“Well, excuse my skepticism. It’s hard to believe anything you feel is real when it’s a big fat secret. I get your reasons, but that doesn’t make it easy to accept them.”

“No, and I fear you’re going to continue to doubt how much I care for you. I can see why though. I know secrets make you uncomfortable. I get that.”

“So what are we going to do about it?”

“How about we take it one day at a time?”

“That sounds like an awful idea.”

He exhales, dragging his hand through his hair. “To be honest, I don’t have any solutions. Right now I can’t risk my job. I’m sorry.”

My teeth crush down on my lower lip. Am I really willing to ask him to expose himself for us and risk losing everything he’s worked for? What if I do screw up everything for him? Without his job, this passion he loves so much, he isn’t the same guy. He isn’t the guy I love.

“Why does this have to be so complicated?” I mumble mostly to myself.

“Most things of any worth are,” he sings, a mysterious expression covering his face.

I slump slightly.
Why does he have to be so damn cute?

Aiden steps forward, lifts his hand to my face but pauses before moving any closer. When I don’t move away he closes the rest of the distance, brushing his hand against my cheek. A tiny spark radiates under his touch. “Did you miss me?”

I close my eyes, wishing I didn’t have to answer this question. But Aiden doesn’t need a device to steal my heart. “Yes,” I breathe. “Like crazy.”

He slides his hand down until it’s gently resting along my neck. “Crazy doesn’t even begin to cover it for me. I didn’t have food for a week and still you’re what I thought about most.” I rise to my tippy toes, glide my arms around his back, and tilt my head, ready to meet his lips. He leans into me, but pauses an inch from my mouth. “You know I’m not worried about George,” he whispers.

Whipping my arms off him, I step back with an exasperated groan. “Seriously, Aiden? You’re bringing that up again? Right now? Are you insane?”

He pushes his way into my line of vision until I have no choice but to look at him. “Do you want to know why I’m not worried about George?”

“No doubt you’re going to tell me regardless.”

“Well,” he says slowly, “if I knew everything you felt then you wouldn’t be surprised when I fulfilled your desires, right? However,
I
don’t know how you feel, and so I have the element of surprise when I give you exactly what you want.”

“How long have you been working on
that
line, Dr. Livingston?” I finger a lock of my hair, feigning nonchalance.

“Honestly, it just came to me. When you’re around I’m frequently graced with spontaneous inspirations.”

“Oh?” I say, gnawing on a smile.

“Imagine how much better my work would be if you could lounge around my lab all day,” he says, staring off like pondering the details of this scenario.

“I’m not sure you’d get any work done at all.”

His eyes return to mine, a wolfish grin on his face. “No, I suspect you’re right.” His pronounced chin tips sideways, like he’s trying to study me from a new angle. “Now would you kindly get over here, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Aren’t I close enough?” I gesture at the three feet of space separating us.

“Absolutely not.”

I take one step forward. “How about now?”

He shakes his head again, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

I take another step, which I’m quickly chastised for with a glare.

“Well, if you wanted me right up against you, why didn’t you just say that?” I say, taking the last step, feeling his warmth immediately.

“Roya, I want you right up against me.” He strokes my hair away from my face and leans his forehead on mine.

“You had something to tell me?”

His smile disorients me, causing sudden lightheadedness. “I wanted to thank you. You risked your life to save me and if it wasn’t for you then I’d be dead.”

Automatically my hands slide around his waist. “Just doing my job.”

Aiden tilts his head and closes in on my mouth. I lean into him, but when our lips are just about to connect he cocks his head back. I follow his action, seeking his lips. Again he angles away, darting an inch to the left, a playful expression present in his eyes. His toying is about to drive me mad. I drop my head in an act of defeat. “If you don’t want to kiss me then you don’t have to,” I say.

“Oh, is that what you think?”

I look up at him, pinching the sides of my mouth together.

He takes my face in both his hands and pulls me into him with a hungry fervor. His lips smash into mine. His determination to prove his passion for me tightens my heart. Something uncaged escapes from within me. All my pent-up emotions, the ones I’ve harbored, are unleashed in this moment. Tears ache in my throat and each time his lips caress mine I’m closer to the dam within me bursting open. He’s undoing me, tearing out my demons with burning strokes of his lips and the salty taste of his mouth. In his arms I’m changing, becoming anew.

Breathless, I break away, but only a few inches. My fingers interlock behind his back, bolting him in close. His forehead lowers and rests on my shoulder. He pants softly beside my ear.

“I would gladly spend another week with the Voyageurs for another kiss like that,” Aiden says, straightening.

“You don’t have to get abducted for me to kiss you.”

“Thank God.”

He smiles and dips down to kiss me again, this time slowly, treasuring each time our lips touch and we inhale each other. All I want is to feel this. Against my mouth I feel him smile again. It makes me smile too and I slide my head down until it’s resting in the crook of his neck.

“I guess we’re even,” I say, my words muffled against his skin.

“How do you figure?” he says, a smile in his voice.

I raise my head. “Well, I saved your life. We’re even now.”

He doesn’t take those sapphire eyes off me, just shakes his head. “Oh no, Roya, I believe I’m still one up on you. I’ve saved your life
twice
.” He snickers and kisses me again. “Nice try, though.”

Chapter Forty-Six

W
hile the kitchen staff is still prepping food in the main hall I slip into my normal seat like I’ve done since I was discharged from the infirmary. Joseph has to eat at some point. I’ve beaten on his door for minutes at a time. I’ve even considered charging in to find out what he’s up to. Instead, I always sulk away. He said he’d be gone a lot, but it feels like he’s disappeared. And what if he has? When would I know for certain? Samara and Trent haven’t seen him since the meeting in the infirmary. My instinct tells me he’s dream traveling, but how can he be gone for so long? When I consented to him going back to this project I forgot about how the last time it turned him into a different person, one I couldn’t reach.

My routine mealtime vigilance has earned me certain knowledge. I know which staff members prep the fastest, who dawdles while socializing, and that at exactly thirty-eight seconds before meals are scheduled to start the last food runner darts back into the kitchen. Usually the main hall remains quiet, save for the sound of the Sterno-heated pans sizzling in their water baths, until the first few people file in for food. A group of white coats always marches in a minute past the hour. Then George, followed by a horde of people I don’t know.

“Here, I brought you your usual,” George says, laying down a bed of wilted greens and a mound of marinated veggies nestled next to them.

“Thanks.” I meet his gaze and instantly regret it. His eyes say a whole host of things that trip wires around my heart.

“Still nothing?” he asks, pushing his roasted potatoes around with his fork.

I shake my head. “At what point do I turn in a missing person’s report?”

“I don’t know. Are you attuned to the connection you have with him?”

“Yes, and I know he’s somewhere close. Not more than a layer away. But still…” I trail off, catching sight of Aiden as he strolls by, two full plates in his hands. As he has on every occasion, he pretends I don’t exist while passing, taking a seat at the table beside ours. Actually I thought it was an act until he almost ran into me the other day in the hallway. He was deep in conversation with the new scientist he hired to replace Amber. Her name is Mia and she’s tall, slender, and her long black hair drapes down to her perfectly toned butt. I thought when Aiden jostled by me, knocking my shoulder so I dropped the books I’d borrowed from the library, I’d get an apology, but I hardly got a second glance.

“How are you feeling?” George asks, taking a sip of water.

“
You
should be forbidden from asking that question,” I say between bites.

Behind his glass I spy the slightest of grins. “I’ve been trying to give you privacy. I thought it was what you wanted.”