Styxx (DH #33) (31 page)

But he would never dishonor her like that. Never make someone cry because he’d touched them. Especially not his Bethany.

He involuntarily flinched as he remembered how he’d felt when Estes had purged the drugs from his body and he’d first realized how badly and rudely they’d used him.

Like he was nothing.

Bethany pulled back with a frown. “What’s wrong, Hector?”

“What do you mean?”

“You jerked just now like something bad went through your mind. What plagues you, my lord?”

Sighing, he laid his head against hers. “I’m terribly scarred, Bethany.”

“I’ve never felt any on you, except the one on your forearm.”

Not wanting to think about the cut his father had given him, he took her hand and led it to the skin he always kept covered with his chiton and chlamys.

Bethany hesitated as she felt the puckered flesh that covered his ribs. His scars were truly deep and numerous. “What happened?”

“I was burned.”

“Oh, Hector…”

“And there are more. In more private places.”

Turning in his arms, she knelt between his legs. “You know I don’t care.”

“But I do.”

She kissed his hand and offered him a bittersweet smile. “Then I will patiently wait until you trust me more. But know that I would never, ever hurt you in any way.”

Styxx stared at her in awe. She was the only person in his life to say that to him, but did he dare trust her? Everyone in his life, including his twin, had betrayed him. Trust always meant profound pain.…

And Bethany’s would sting most of all.

Even so, he couldn’t help the way he felt about her. How much she meant to him. In all the world, she was the only thing that mattered. Cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her. “I love you, Bethany.”

“And I love you.”

“Then run away with me.”

She pulled back with a frown. “What?”

“Now. Today. Let’s leave this place and—”

“Hector, I can’t do that. I have things I have to do here. And so do you. What would your father say?”

“I don’t care.”

“Yes, you do. I know you better than that. You are a man of responsibility. It’s part of what I love about you. You always put the needs of others before your own.”

Yes, but this one time he wanted to be completely selfish. In all his life, he’d never wanted anything the way he did this woman. For her, he’d give up everything he had and more.

“I would walk away from it all for you, Beth.”

She pressed her cheek to his. “But in time you could change your mind.”

“No, I won’t.”

“I know you mean that today. But time and circumstance have a way of mocking our best intentions, and I’m not willing to take that chance.”

Sighing, he laid his head against her breasts and let her cradle him there. Her heart beat slowly against his ear while her breath fell against his skin. The scent of her warmed him more than the sun. Honestly, he never wanted to leave the circle of her arms. It was the only place he’d ever felt as if he was welcome.

Loved.

Bethany smiled down at him. Her Hector never failed to surprise her.

She tightened her arms around him, wishing she could leave everything behind and be with him. How wonderful would it be?

But the other gods would come for her and they would kill him for distracting her from her duties.

After a few seconds, he lifted his hand to brush it against the breast he faced. To her complete shock, he hooked his thumb into the material of her peplos and pulled it aside so that he could blow a stream of cool air over her bared nipple until it puckered tight.

It was so unlike him.…

She frowned. “Hector? What are you doing?”

“Hopefully, not offending you. Since you haven’t slapped me or yanked my hair, I’m assuming I’m allowed?”

She smiled down at him. “You’re allowed.”

Styxx’s heart pounded at the sight of her lush perfect naked breast. His mouth watering, he moved his head so that he could sample the taut peak. He groaned at the incredible taste of it as he rolled his tongue around the areola then suckled her gently.

Bethany cradled his head as he moved to taste her other breast. Her body was so hot and needful that it was all she could do not to betray herself as a goddess. She wanted him inside her so badly that it was absolutely painful.

Leaning back, she pulled him with her and released the pins that held her gown up so that he had complete access to her breasts. Then she brushed her hand against his hard erection.

Styxx froze as a fleeting bad memory went through him.…

“Hector?”

He allowed her sweet voice to keep him grounded in the present and not on what Estes had done to him. “I’m right here, love.” He placed a kiss on her stomach, before he pushed her gown down, over her hips until she was completely naked to his gaze.

His throat went dry at her unadorned, flawless beauty. Unlike him, there wasn’t a scar on her body anywhere.

Frowning, she reached to cover herself. “Hector?”

He shook himself mentally as he realized he was sitting back from her. “I’m right here, precious.” He took her hand and led it to his face as he laid his body over hers. “I was just temporarily stunned by how beautiful you are.”

“Then you’re forgiven for scaring me. I thought you’d run off and abandoned me naked in the woods.”

“I would never do that to you.” He made sure to keep his skin against hers so that she could feel him with her.

As she reached to remove his chiton, he caught her hand.

“Is something wrong?”

Even if she felt the brand on his groin, she’d have no way of knowing it said “whore.”

But still it was there. Mocking him with the cruelty of his past. And because of the scars from that and the priests, he had sparse pubic hair. So little that the brand was easily seen and not really covered at all.

He leaned his head down and ground his teeth. “Before we go any further…” He led her hand to the scars on his thighs and buttocks.

Bethany sucked her breath in sharply as she felt what had been done to him. When she’d touched his side, she’d assumed it had been caused by a fire. But these … she could feel the outline of a poker. It’d left deep welts down the inside of his thighs, all the way to his scrotum. There were places where he had little to no hair from the scarring. But what wrung her heart was the sheer number of them. He’d been tortured over and over again.

“Why would someone do this to you?”

“They thought I was possessed by the god Dionysus. And the priests sought to burn the evil daemons out of me.”

Heartbroken over what they’d done, she placed her hand to his cheek. “My poor baby. I’m so sorry they hurt you like this.”

“Please don’t ever tell anyone.”

“I would never be so cruel.”

He kissed her then. So slow and tender that it made her breath catch. When she reached to remove his chiton, he jerked back.

“Sorry,” he whispered. “I don’t like being seen.”

“I can’t see you, Hector.”

“That’s not true. You’re the only one in my life who does.” This time he remained perfectly still while she undressed him.

“Are you all right?” she asked.

He placed her hand to his cheek and nodded then he nibbled her fingers and palm. Bethany sighed in pure pleasure. No one had ever made love to her like this. There was no rush at all. Rather they were truly exploring and sharing not just their bodies, but a part of their souls.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered against her throat as his hand skimmed over her hip and thigh.

She parted her legs for him.

Styxx hesitated as he realized that she was a bit more experienced at this than he was … and a lot less bashful. “Beth? You’ve been with other men, haven’t you?”

She went rigid under him. “I have, but I’m not a whore.”

He cupped her face, wishing she could see his sincerity. “I would
never
call you that. It’s not what I was implying at all. I just … I don’t want to accidentally hurt you with my inexperience. Or disappoint you.”

Bethany felt tears prick the backs of her eyes. He was always so concerned about letting her down. Though he seldom mentioned his family, that ever present worry let her know just how harsh they must be toward him.

About everything.

“You could never disappoint me, Hector.” She took his hand into hers and led it to the center of her body.

Styxx couldn’t breathe as he felt how wet and warm she was. But his hand in hers …

He cringed at the memory of Estes.

“What’s wrong,
akribos
?”

Unable to answer, Styxx had no choice except to pull away. He couldn’t deal with the painful memories that slammed into him and left him impotent and shaking.

Damn you, you bastards!
Why couldn’t he forget what they’d done to him for even one heartbeat? Why?

I am worthless.

Bethany frowned at his actions until she put everything together. His reluctance to kiss or touch her. His fear of harming her …

The scars that lay in extremely private parts of his body. All the way to his scrotum.

He’d suffered something a lot worse than being burned. Someone had raped and tortured him.

In that moment, she felt her god powers surge. She was the goddess of fury and vengeance. It was her job to avenge those who’d been so wronged.

He’s Greek.

It didn’t matter. She wanted the heart of whoever had done this to such a gentle and caring man.

Clearing his throat, he reached over her to retrieve his chiton. “I’m sorry. This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have…”

Bethany placed her hand to his lips to stop him. “Let me replace your evil demons with happy ones.”

“I don’t know if you can.”

“Will you let me try?”

Styxx pulled her against him and held her close as self-loathing and hatred shredded his soul. “I’m sorry, Beth. You deserve a man, not—”

“You are a man,” she said, interrupting him. “More so than any I’ve known. It’s not manly to hurt others or belittle them. Respect and kindness require more courage because people take advantage of those. I don’t know what horrors haunt you, but I know that you haven’t allowed them to destroy the most beautiful part of yourself. You have the heart of a lion. Fearless. Tell me what is manlier than that?”

Styxx savored the sensation of her hand on his cheek. In spite of her impassioned, wonderful words, he felt so weak and pathetic.
I can’t even make love to the woman I gave my heart to.

For all intents and purposes, they
had
gelded him.

She nibbled at his chin. “Forget the animals who’ve hurt you. Think only of the woman who loves you with every bit of her heart, and that, Hector, is a part of me no man has ever touched before. Not even close. You’re the only one who has held it. The only one who ever will.”

He sucked his breath in sharply as she kissed her way down his chest and ran her sweet tongue over his scarred nipple. She pulled back to smile at him then nudged him to lie back on the ground. He obliged. She straddled him and took his hands into hers then led them to her breasts. Large and well shaped, they overflowed his hands. Leaning forward ever so slightly, she slid down his stomach to rest against his hips.

The moment she did, his body erupted and he was even harder than before. Smiling wider, she began to sing to him. Between the sound of her sweet contralto and sight of her naked in his arms, he forgot about everything else. There was no past to hurt him. No future to worry over.

Just Bethany.

She lifted herself up onto her arms and slid her legs between his in one sensuous wave that left him breathless. Still singing, she kissed her way down his abdomen to the scars he hated so much. But as she laved them, he no longer saw them either. She brushed her hands through the hair at the juncture of his thighs then played gently with him.

He sucked his breath in sharply as pleasure speared him to the ground. With a wicked grin, she took him completely into her mouth. For the merest heartbeat, he flashed to a memory he didn’t want. But he refused to stay there. Rather he watched as she toyed with him while she continued to hum.

His hand shaking, he reached down to stroke her cheek and lay the back of his fingers against skin so soft it wrung his heart.

Bethany savored the salty taste of him while he gently sank his hand into her hair. She knew he was struggling to forget. He would tense and then relax. Yet he bravely stayed with her. In that moment, she wished she could see the face of the man who was so haunted and still so giving.

But his looks didn’t matter to her. At this point, she wouldn’t care if he were a three-headed toad. He held her heart and it was as blind as her eyes in human form.

Wanting only to soothe him, she gave one last lick then crawled up the long length of him to lie against his body.

Styxx sighed at how good her soft curves felt flush to his skin. Cupping her head, he kissed her deeply then rolled over with her. She opened her legs so that his body lay between her thighs while they kissed.

She didn’t know it, but she’d saved his life. In the darkest moment when he’d wanted nothing more than death, she’d appeared and given him a reason to get up each morning. Now, he lived solely for the time they shared. It made everything else bearable. Just knowing he’d be able to see her sweet smile. Hear her precious voice …

He kissed her lips then carefully slid himself inside her. They moaned simultaneously. For a full minute, he couldn’t breathe as the warmth of her body cradling his overwhelmed him. It felt so good it made him shiver. This was the first perfect moment of true happiness he’d ever known.

She had no idea how much she meant to him. Words would never be able to convey the depth to which his heart beat solely for her.

Styxx brushed the hair back from her face as he stared down into her hazel-gold eyes, wishing she could see how happy she made him. “I love you, Bethany.”

She smiled at him. “And I, you.”

Nipping her chin, he slowly began to rock himself against her hips.

Bethany arched her back, drawing him in deeper. She groaned at his thick fullness inside her. He was absolutely huge and yet so very gentle. She ran her hands over his muscular back and down to his waist then to the scars that made her want to hunt down whoever had dared to mar his perfection and make them pay for their cruelty. But she didn’t want to think about them right now.