Sudden Legacy (12 page)

Pops met us at the door and took my bag of smoky clothes. I know it’s petty in the whole scheme of things, but I was really glad they hadn’t cut my favorite pair of jeans. I let Pops squish me in a bear hug. His voice was rough when he spoke. “I’m relieved to have you home, Missy.”

I hugged him back tightly. “I’m relieved to
be
home,” I answered. “Where’s Alex?” I was wondering where Julien was too, but didn’t want to let on to that fact.

“He’s with Julien in the solarium,” Pops said, effectively putting my curiosity to rest.

I found them napping; Julien sprawled across the middle sofa, and Alex sprawled across Julien. I couldn’t resist. I quietly made my way over to them and knelt down to gently tuck a curl behind Alex’s ear. He didn’t stir, but suddenly I was staring into a pair of bright green eyes. My breath caught at the emotion swimming in their depths.

Softly, so as not to wake his napping partner, his voice met my ears.
“Je suis désolé.”

I put my finger to his lips to silence him. “No. You have nothing to be sorry for.
I’m
sorry.”

He kissed my finger and I let it drop, knowing he wanted to speak. He raised his hand to cup my cheek. “We both said ugly things,
Chérie.
Things we did not mean.”

“I know,” I answered. “Please, let’s just forget the whole thing. I just want to-”

Alex began to stir, causing me to silence myself. Julien placed a solid hand on Alex’s back and whispered huskily to me, “We can’t avoid the conversation,
Chérie
, but I promise to be more tactful the next chance we get to try it again.”

He was right. We obviously had to eventually cross the proverbial bridge of where we stood in regards to each other and Alex. I answered him with a half smile and a nod, and stood. “I smell like a Bar-B-Q,” I whispered. “I’m going to go take a shower. Let’s talk tonight?”

He nodded in answer. I don’t know if it was my imagination, or the fact that I was overly tired, but his eyes seemed filled with emotion. Sadness? Relief? I couldn’t be sure. I broke eye contact and gazed at his large hand splayed across Alex’s small back. The sight of the two of them snuggled together like it was the most natural thing in the world pulled at something inside of me. I left before I had to acknowledge the surge of feelings.

Alex must have awakened while I showered because I could hear him giggling downstairs. I was on my way down to greet him when I heard the side door open and close, and silence descended upon the house. I made my way into the kitchen where Nan sat at the table with a mug of tea.

“Would you like some tea, Lara?” she asked.

“I can get it -” I started to say when Nan cut me off.

“Don’t be silly. You go and sit down. I’ll bring it out to you in a minute.” She waved me toward the solarium with such authority I didn’t dare argue.

I sat down in a large, fan backed wicker chair that faced out to the yard. After a beat, Alex and Julien wandered into my view. They were across the yard, near the gate to the chicken coop. Alex was holding a stick and whacking at the shrubbery. He stopped suddenly and made a grab for his crotch. Julien knelt down beside him, and a smile spread across my face as I realized what was transpiring. I watched as Julien helped Alex with his pants, then the two of them proceeded to water the plants. They stood side by side, their backs to me. Alex was still quite small, but he had his father’s frame. His shoulders were still the slight shoulders of a toddler, but the shape mimicked that of the man standing beside him.

When the boys had put themselves back to rights, Julien turned toward the house and caught sight of me. His brows rose in surprise, and a shy smile touched at his lips. He shrugged sheepishly and turned back to Alex who was once again whacking at any bush within reach. Nan came up behind me with my tea.

“Here you go dear. Oh! Look at that. If that isn’t a pretty picture.” She shook her head at the scene taking place in the yard; father and son, playing in the afternoon shade. Julien began to steer Alex closer to the house. When they were about three yards away, Julien drew Alex’s attention to me in the solarium. His eyes lit up with excited recognition and he ran to put his little hands against the glass. I knelt down and placed my hands against the glass where his were.

“Mama! I pee-peed like a big boy!” I could hear his excitement, muffled though it was through the glass barrier. I smiled and nodded enthusiastically in encouragement. It was wonderful to see him enjoying Julien’s tutelage. There was definite hero-worship emanating from him every time he looked at Julien. I blushed slightly, realizing Nan must be witnessing the hero-worship emanating from
me
. I took a cleansing breath and turned toward Nan to accept my tea.

I took a sip, more to hide my embarrassment than from any real thirst. It was not my regular peppermint, but it was delicious.

“Thanks, Nan. You always make the best tea. Is this a new flavor?”

Nan winked at me and patted my shoulder as she turned to leave. “It’s a French/Italian blend. It struck me as something you might like.”

My jaw dropped and I couldn’t help but chuckle at her mirth as she scampered away.

The night was surprisingly chilly and I was delighted to see someone had started a fire going while I had been putting Alex to bed. I could hear Pops and Julien murmuring in Pops’ study. Rather than disturb them, I decided to lay out Julien’s bedding. I wrestled the mattress off the fold out couch and dumped it unceremoniously on the floor. After putting the fold out frame back into the innards of the couch, I arranged the mattress in front of the fireplace and busied myself putting an egg crate on top of it, followed by the various sheets and blankets Julien had been making use of. When I had everything just the way I wanted, I stood back and admired my handiwork.

“Looks inviting,” came Julien’s voice from behind. I turned to greet him as he took in the makeshift bed. “I might actually get a comfortable night’s sleep tonight.
Merci.
”

“I told you you’d be more comfortable on the floor.” My hair was still wet from my second shower and I told myself it was due to the breeze of his passing that I shivered as he inched by to sit on his pallet. He noticed, taking hold of my wrist and tugging gently. “You are wet,
Chérie
. Come. Dry your hair by the fire so you do not catch a chill.”

I let him tug me down to sit beside him. I closed my eyes and fought a moan of pleasure as he ran his fingers through my hair, splaying it out across my back to hasten the drying. We talked of this and that, Julien filling me in on his adventures with Alex while I had been in the hospital. The fire burned low, the glowing embers giving off a robust heat. It was enough to make my raw lungs tickle, but not enough to make me abandon my cozy hearthside seat. I pressed the loose material of my pajama shirt up against my skin, enjoying the almost painful warmth of it. I could hear Nan and Pops puttering around, taking care of the last odds and ends of the day in preparation for going to bed. The house was settling. By the time Nan and Pops made their way upstairs, my hair had dried to a riotous mass of curls. Julien and I sat in companionable silence.

I yawned and flopped back on the bedding to stare up at the stars. I spotted the Big Dipper immediately. I knew which glass panel to find it through, having star gazed from this position countless times before. I glanced at Julien to find him looking back at me. My voice was quiet when I spoke. “I haven’t thanked you.”

“For what?” he asked in confusion.

“For saving my life. Nan told me how you tracked my phone.”

Julien stretched out beside me, propping himself up on an elbow. “I was so scared, Lara. You were unresponsive when we found you. I thought for a moment that we were too late.” He reached out and tucked a wayward curl behind my ear. “I died a little inside at the thought.”

Though the words themselves sounded melodramatic, they rang with sincerity. He was exposing himself to me. Showing me a vulnerable side, and admitting he cared for me at the same time. He trailed his fingers lightly across my cheek. “
Oh, Lara, dolce Lara.”
My name was a benediction on his lips. I was lost in his eyes, willing him to kiss me as he leaned over me, caressing my cheek.

“Julien...” My voice was barely more than a whisper. “Julien. Kiss me.” His eyes closed for a span of three heartbeats. When they opened again they looked different. The haunted quality of them had morphed into something more primal. It made my pulse flutter erratically.

When at last he finally kissed me, he started out gently, as if waiting for me to change my mind. I grew impatient with him. I wasn’t used to him asking permission. I was more accustomed to him playing the part of the ravenous instructor. I thrust my hands into his hair and tugged just hard enough to let him know I didn’t want to be coddled. It was all the encouragement he needed.

I clawed at his shirt, eager to feel his warm skin beneath my hands. “Patience Lara,” he admonished. “Let me do this right.” He reached for my buttons, unable to hide the slight trembling in his hands. I pretended not to notice, and made a go at his buttons at the same time. He finished with my buttons first and unwrapped my shirt as if I were an expensive gift he was afraid to break. He paused a moment at the sight of me. I could feel my nipples harden under his scrutiny, eager for his touch. He didn’t keep me waiting long.

I hadn’t considered my breasts in a sexual way since before Alex was born. The past two and a half years they had been strictly utilitarian, used for feeding my baby and nothing more. I was shocked that Julien’s touch could make them feel sensual again. His tongue flicked over a taut bud, sending a firework off in my stomach. His licks and pinches were delicious and maddening at the same time. I wanted him to suck.
Hard
. But he didn’t. Instead he kept teasing me with light caresses.

He pulled his shirt over his head and I shimmied out of my pajama pants. When I reached for the button on his jeans he stalled me with a hand on top of mine. “Slow down
Chérie
. I want to savor you.” I scowled like a petulant child. “I want you, Julien. I need this...” I didn’t know how to explain myself. Having faced my own mortality made me suddenly eager to prove to myself that I was still alive. He smoothed my brow with his thumb, trying to will more patience into me. “I owe you a first time, Lara. I want to give you the experience you should have had.”

I grabbed hold of his neck and brought his ear down to my mouth. “I’m not a virgin, Julien. I don’t want a first time. I want my lover back. Where’s my insatiable playboy? I want him. I need him!” I pulled him into a rough kiss, grabbing angrily at his hair. “I want you to fuck me.”

My words seemed to incite him. Suddenly he was everywhere at once. I moaned in ecstasy as he slipped a finger inside of me and pressed his palm against my most sensitive area. My body jerked as he flicked his thumb against my clitoris, sending shock waves of pleasure up and down my limbs. I hissed my encouragement, wanting more of him – all of him. Finally he was there, poised at my slick entrance. Just before he thrust forward I had the presence of mind to stop him. “Wait.” He looked at me, shaking with restraint. “Condom?” I asked. A flicker of panic crossed his face. He shook his head. I scrunched my face in frustration, balling my fists into my eye sockets in an attempt to harness some self-control. His next words slapped me in the face.

There has been no one since you,
Chérie
.”

What?!
My heart tripped over itself at his words. Surely he was just placating me. Was I really supposed to believe that a twenty six year old man had abstained for the last three
years
. And not just any man; a lethally sexy, overly skilled man who could have his choice of women. But there it was; I wanted to believe him. To believe him meant to believe that maybe I did mean something to him. Maybe our time together had changed him too. Affected him as it had me. It was too much to hope for and I found myself pulling away from him to shake my head in disbelief.

“I speak the truth, Lara.” He sagged against me, pressing his warmth along the length of my body. “After you left, I –” He shook his head, deciding against finishing his sentence. “It’s complicated.” He sighed, lowering his face to the crook of my neck and breathing me in deeply. “We can stop now. You’re right – we are behaving recklessly. But I want you to know that there has been no one since you.” He stayed there a moment, his breath ghosting warmly against my neck, commanding his body to calm down. I could feel his erection slowly softening against my thigh.