Sultry Groove (Reckless Beat #4) (29 page)

“Not one word, asshole.” Sean raised his voice as Cameron dragged Dylan from the room. His departure didn’t bring relief. If anything, the anticipation to find out about Leah became worse.

“Spill,” Sean snapped, ignoring all the curious stares in the room to focus back on Ryan.

“I told you, I kissed her.”

“Where,” Mitch drawled.

“At Sean’s apartment.”

“No, dickhead.” Mitch crossed his arms over his chest. “
Where
did you kiss her? A peck on the lips wouldn’t send Leah fleeing from her commitments to us.”

Ryan flashed his teeth in a feral snarl. “This is not a joke.”

“Do we look like we’re laughing?” Mason was in Ryan’s face, hovering.

Sean placed a hand on the lead singer’s shoulder. “Cool it. We’re not going to get anywhere unless we all calm the fuck down.”

“All we want is an explanation.” Blake stepped back, opening the group to allow them breathing space.

“It was a kiss. That’s all.” Ryan spread his arms wide and let them fall to his sides. “We both said some nasty shit too.”

“Before or after the kiss?” Sean muttered.

“Does it fucking matter?”

“It could. If you guys are only fighting because you’re a bad kisser, then I wanna know.” Mitch wiped the smirk from his face with a rough palm, then held his hands up. “Sorry.
Sorry
. I can’t deal with heavy shit. I fall back on sarcasm every time. It’s a sickness.”

Sean rolled his eyes and focused on Ryan. “Just tell me she’s OK.”

“I don’t know.” Ryan swallowed deep and glanced at them all in turn. “I was pretty fucking drunk when it happened. She won’t answer my calls.”

Blake pulled his cell from the pocket of his black jeans. “I’ll try.” He dialed, placed the phone at his ear, waiting. “No answer.”

“I’ll give it a go.” Mason did the same, shoving his cell back in his shorts moments later. “I’m gonna fucking kill you, Ry.”

“You don’t think I feel bad enough already?” Ryan’s face crumpled. “I fucked up. I know I did. Tell me what I need to do to fix it.”

“Maybe she just needs time to cool off.” Sean slid backward, needing more air. He glanced around the room, threatening everyone who dared glance his way and hoped they weren’t stupid enough to open their mouths about what just happened. “Or something completely unrelated happened.”

Blake shook his head. “I think you’re grasping at straws.”

“Well, there’s nothing much we can do about it.” Mitch walked backward toward the row of chairs along the wall. “We may as well pull up a seat and wait.”

“Sean?” Sasha’s voice was low.

Fucking hell, what now?
He turned and met the concern in Sasha’s gaze as his friends took a seat. He jerked his head in question, unable to form words.

“The crew is worried we’re losing valuable time.”

He tried to focus. To concentrate on what he was here for.
Fighting Against Attraction
. He cleared his mind, breathed out the pain consuming his chest and looked at Sasha.
Really
looked at her. He tried to find a spark, a mere connection to give him the hope of pulling off the emotional component to make the music clip everything it needed to be.

There was nothing. No attraction. No heat. No desire at all to pull her into his arms and dance with her in front of the cameras.

“I don’t think I can do it.” He ignored a groan from one of the crew and dragged himself forward. “I’m sorry.” He took the pain in her features and added it to the torture consuming him. “I can’t go ahead with this without at least trying to get Red to do it with me first.”

Sasha nodded. “I understand.” She gave him a weak smile. “Go get her. I’ll hang around just in case.”

Pressure built behind his sternum, filtering out to his limbs. He was going to do this. He was going to lay it all down. No more placating. He’d tell her how it was between them, and how it was going to be in the future. He’d push her until he thought she was going to break, and then retreat and hope she pulled herself together without the need for him to step in and pick up the pieces.

“Thanks.” He stepped forward, planting a hard kiss on her forehead. “I’ll be back soon.”

Melody knew who
was at her door the moment the heavy knock sounded against the wood. For the briefest moment she contemplated not answering, then thought better of the stupidity. Sean wouldn’t leave without being heard. He’d knock down her door, or climb in a window before he walked away.

“
Red
.”

She quickened her pace at his shout, not wanting to draw the attention of her neighbors.

“Hold on.” She unlatched the deadbolt and yanked open the door.

“You need to come with me.” His smile was wide, his affection hitting her full force. “I can’t do the music clip without you.”

For a moment, she stood on the brink of a life-changing decision, basking in the deliciousness of his large suit-clad frame standing before her. She could’ve easily returned his happiness and run into his arms. Her heart and soul wanted to exhale the
yes
tightening her chest. But the alternative was the only option.

She shook her head. “I can’t, Sean. I’m a choreographer now. Not a performer.”

He strode forward, making her retreat as his broad frame encroached on her personal space. Finally, as if only now realizing it, he looked her up and down, taking in the sight of her still in her summer pajamas with the silk nightgown she’d quickly pulled on to cover her scar.

“You didn’t plan on showing up at all, did you?” His face fell. His shoulders, too. In the blink of an eye, the determination he’d walked through the door with vanished.

She shook her head. There was no more need to lie. “No. I didn’t. It was hard for me to watch yesterday, so I decided to step away and let you enjoy your moment without me dragging you down.”

“If it hurt so much, why back down at all?” His abrupt question pulled her up short.

“Because this was the career choice I made. I don’t want to be in the spotlight anymore.”

“Why?” he growled.

“Why what?” She matched his frustration. “It’s not a hard concept to understand. I’m not dancing because that’s not my job anymore. That’s what Sasha’s for.”

“I can’t dance with Sasha.” He raised his chin and crossed his arms over his chest, like he’d already won their argument with a few simple words.

“Yes, you can. The two of you were perfect yesterday, all you need to do is concentrate on the emotion you’re trying to convey.”

He strode forward, getting in her space. “I can’t
convey
any emotion, because I don’t want to dance with her. I want to dance with you.”

“I’m sorry, Sean.” She shook her head, sliding back a step. “It’s not an option.”

“I disagree.”

She shrugged. “Well, I’m sorry you feel that way.” What else could she say? He could beg and plead all he liked. It wouldn’t change a thing. She turned, needing to place space between them.

“You can’t shelter yourself forever, Red.”

She stiffened. Stopped. “I’m not.”

He scoffed, sending a cold shiver down her back. “I didn’t want to believe it,” he murmured. “I thought our time together had done you good. I kinda hoped I’d made you a little stronger. But you’re still weak, aren’t you?”

“
Sean.
” His name was a plea. “Don’t do this.”

“When are you going to stop hiding?”

She hung her head. There was no point denying it. She did hide. She loved to hide. It was the only thing that brought her continuous comfort. “I’m content right where I am.”

“Well, I’m not going to play along. Not when the dance is falling apart. I refuse to placate your issues anymore.”

She sucked in a breath, taking strength from the expansion of her chest, and swung her body around to face him. “I’d come to the same conclusion. We’re at different places in our lives. We want different things. And even though I’ve tried, I can’t let you in. I don’t know how.”

It was the truth. The brutal, honest, truth. The reason why they couldn’t be together.

“You think I don’t know?”

“Know what?” Her voice barely registered over the loud rush of blood in her ears.

He broke their connection, glancing down her body, focusing on her left thigh.

The breath left her lungs on a shudder, and she swallowed hard to fight the burn in her throat. He knew. “For how long?” They both knew what she was asking. She could see the pity in his eyes as he raised his face to her. “Did Sasha tell you?”

He shook his head. “I’ve known a long time. I’ve seen the damage for myself.”

She stepped back. Stumbled. “You didn’t say anything.” She clutched the nightgown over her chest, feeling betrayed and ashamed all at once. “You never told me.”

“I could say the same about you.” He stalked forward. “You never trusted me enough to tell me, so why the hell would I bring it up?”

Because maybe things would’ve been different if he had. She didn’t know how, or why, but the inevitable ending might not have been so inevitable if he’d told her.

“Please leave.” The plea burned her throat and made her hands shake.

“You don’t want to know how I feel about it?” He continued forward, so there was barely a breath between them. “You don’t want to know why I bit my tongue every time you refused to let me see you naked?”

She shook her head, sliding back another step.
No.
She didn’t want to know anymore. It already hurt too much. Her chest was an open wound. Her eyes burned with unshed tears. She’d promised herself not to cry anymore. The months of sorrow had been enough.

“Too bad.” He lunged for her, stealing her breath, making her heart climb to her throat as he pulled her into his arms, gliding his hand into her loose hair so he could leverage her face right where he wanted it. “I’m going to tell you.”

He leaned in, his lips close enough for static to flicker between them. “The reason I never said a word is because
I didn’t fucking care
.”

She shuddered, pulling back, pushing against his chest. In truth, she wanted him to hold her tighter, until the will to fight was gone. She wanted him to love her, to make her believe she wasn’t a waste of life, and her future may one day be brighter than the current darkness.

“I hurt for you, Melody.”

Her name was a prayer. A promise. A sweet caress from the man she loved yet couldn’t have.

“Please don’t.”

“The morning I left for New York, I woke up and found you splayed across the bed.” His grip tightened in her hair, making it impossible to move. “I almost died. You almost killed me. Because it was then that I understood you. I figured out why you were confident one minute and insecure the next. I remembered the night we met and discovered why you ran away when I touched your thigh. I met the real Melody that morning. Yet you still refuse to show her to me.”

“I tried.” She shook her head slightly, unable to move far because of his grip.

“Not hard enough. Do you know how frustrating it is to stare at the most beautiful woman in the world and know she hates herself because of one small expanse of skin?” He brushed his lips over hers, dragging a cry from her throat. “The weeks after I found out were torture, all because you refused to confide in me. You never gave me the chance to show you how I feel. And you know what?” His gaze bore deep into her, making it near impossible to fight the need to sob. “I don’t care about your scars. I don’t give a shit what that part of your body looks like, because the beauty I see in you could never be dampened by an injury. You take my breath away, and you don’t even know it.”

She squeezed her eyes shut. This was what she’d wanted to hear, so why hadn’t the pain in her chest ebbed? She fought the need to crumple. To fall to her knees and cry until the tears gave her relief.

“Dance with me, Melody,” he whispered into her mouth. “I can’t do this with anyone else.”

“No.” She pleaded with her eyes, trying to make him understand.

“You don’t trust me.” He pulled back, just a little, enough to show her she’d stung his pride.

“I do.” She cupped his cheek. “I trust you.” She did. With all her heart. “But I can’t perform in front of your friends.” She shook her head. “I can’t let Sasha see me like this. The
whole world
will see me like this.”

“And why do they matter? I’ll never let them hurt you. I refuse to let you sink into self-pity again.”

“Don’t make me do this, Sean.” She wanted to make him proud more than anything. To see him smile as they danced, to witness his passion on the dance floor, mirroring her own. It was too soon. Too quick. She needed to think it over.

“You can’t hide forever.” His face softened, fell, almost cut her with his sadness. “And I don’t know how long I can wait, knowing you’re holding yourself back from me. I want to be with you. Without stipulations. Without secrets. I want you to trust me, and I want to be able to trust that you are telling me the truth. Otherwise, there’s no point to us at all.”

There it was. The thinly veiled ultimatum. The make or break. He needed all of her to be able to move forward, yet she’d lost parts of her soul in the accident and still didn’t know where to find them. “I don’t think I can.”

“You’ll do it for us. I have faith in you.
All
my faith, is in you.” He kissed her hard, stroking his tongue along the seam of her lips, pushing into her mouth before withdrawing just as fast. “Have a shower. Get dressed into something pretty. And come meet me at the hotel. I’ll be right by your side for the rest of the way.”

He let her go, gifting her with one last sweep of his lips. “I’ll see you soon.” He strode from the house, closing the door behind him, leaving her alone in the heavy silence.

Her head swam with possibilities and repercussions. Light and dark. Damage and beauty. Could she do this? The screaming protests in her head said no. The warmth Sean left in her chest told another story. A more powerful one. She wanted to be the woman she saw reflected in his eyes. She wanted to be his everything, like he’d become for her.

Maybe she
could
do this. For him. For them.

And most importantly, for herself.