Summer by Summer (32 page)

I closed my mouth. He was really good at this.

The same irritating voice came again. “Was it hard, being alone with Bray
knowing
he had someone waiting at home for him?”

Bray and I both shot a look to each other, his expression as confused as mine. That’s when the man who’d led us through the side door leaned over the microphone. “We need to keep the questions limited to the experience Bray and Summer had on the island. No more speculation about their relationship.”

Another voice. “Can you tell us how you killed the crocodile?”

The tone of the questions had changed, accusatory now, where moments before they were friendly. A little shell-shocked, I could hear the tension in Bray’s voice as he explained that the croc had blocked our water supply. The reporters seemed excited about the croc, and we both released a little of our former tension. “Who actually killed it?”

Bray squeezed my hand. “Summer. I had fallen and she was protecting me. She’s a hero.”

This turned the attention back to me. “How did it feel to kill the animal?”

Sweat broke out along the planes of my body. “Um, I felt relief. We were thirsty and I knew we couldn’t go another day without water. But it also was sad because I took the life of an amazing creature.”

“A creature who was only trying to protect his territory. Miss Mathers, did you know the croc you murdered was on the endangered species list for years after being overhunted?”

“No. I — ”

“Only in the last couple years has it come back from the brink of extinction.”

“We . . . we had to have water.”

“My sources say there are fissures of fresh water throughout Sovereign Island. Isn’t it true that you just wanted
that
water because it was easy to get to?”

My head was hot, burning. “No. The only other water was up a mountain.”

“So there
was
another source for water. Just not as easy to get to.”

Bray took a protective step in front of me and addressed the reporter. “Summer didn’t want to kill the croc. In fact, she begged me not to, but I couldn’t justify the danger of going up the mountain every day and trying to haul water back down.”

The questions started again and he raised his hands; it was such a movement of authority, it hushed the room. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the podium and trapping all of them. “Have you ever been starving?”

Silence in the crowd.

“Have you ever gone days without water? Slept on the sand where you might wake up with rats gnawing on your fingers? If you haven’t, then please try to offer some compassion. We did what we had to do to survive. I’d do it again to stay alive.” He reached down and slid his hand into mine, then raised our hands in triumph. He was winning them over. “We’re both alive. We didn’t make easy choices and, sure, we didn’t do everything right, but we survived. And I won’t apologize for that. Neither will Summer.”

I didn’t know it was possible for a crowd of reporters to stay quiet, but for a few long moments, they did, as if Bray had popped a giant pin into their massive wad of accusation. It was a beautiful thing.

Off to the left, a side door burst open and a tall blond girl came rushing in. All the attention went to her, reporters yelling the name
Katie
and pelting her with questions. She headed straight for us. I searched Bray’s face, but he looked like a deer in the headlights,
only moving when she stepped right past me and trapped him in an embrace, lacing her arms around his neck. I shuffled back, almost off balance.

Bray gave her a quick hug, and then pushed back. She turned her attention to the crowd. “How does it feel, Katie, to have Bray home?”

Her light blue eyes flashed. “Amazing. I knew he’d make it home to me.”

The reporters laughed, and I realized a whole new energy had entered the room with her.

She tossed her hair over her shoulder. “I bet now he’s wishing he’d come to the Hamptons with me and my family for the summer like I
wanted
him to.”

My mind froze. She stood between Bray and me and commanded the entire room. If the world was full of pretty people, she was quite possibly their queen. Someone near the back spoke up. “What kind of wedding plans will be in the works now?”

Wedding plans? How had they known? Maybe Bray told people at the hospital while his blood was full of pain meds. I tried to swallow, but my saliva was thick, my throat closed. This wasn’t the way I wanted to do this.

Katie held up her hands in a mock surrender. “Back off, guys,” she teased. “Bray’s barely home, and we have all the time in the world to make our plans.”

What?
What?
She had to be kidding. Or wrong. She’d made a mistake. When her left hand shot into the air and she pointed at the small rope ring around her finger, my knees buckled. It was just like mine.

“Maybe now he can get me the real thing, instead of this one he made for me after a day of sailing.”

The flash of heat and pain started in my head and shot down to my feet. Katie grasped his hand tightly. Bray’s mouth hung open, a frown on his face. But even so, they looked so right together: tall,
beautiful, tan. Both wealthy, both perfect. My eyes blurred, and I stumbled as I turned and ran out the side door. I heard Bray call after me and a shuffle at the podium. Then he yelled, “No.” And I knew he’d broken free of her grasp and was coming for me. I ran into the hall, passing more people with their mouths hanging open. Off to the right was a supply closet. I tucked inside and tried to hold back the sobs. They came anyway, and I pressed a stack of clean linens to my mouth to muffle the sound wrenching from my gut. Who was I kidding? Summer Mathers was a practical girl. She didn’t fit in Bray’s world. And she never would.

CHAPTER 19

Summer

In the hallway, I could
feel
Bray searching for me. I positioned my body behind the door in case he knew where I’d gone. I’d have to deal with him, but I wasn’t ready yet. I knew Bray; he’d tear the hospital apart until he found me so he could explain. But there was no excuse for this. I pulled my ring from my front pocket and held it to my heart. My ring. Mine. But hers was just the same. Fashioned, no doubt, by the same hands. I’d trusted him with everything from my past, but he hadn’t told me he’d made another one of these? That he’d already proposed to someone else?

It was more than I could bear.

After a long time, I opened the door. Bray stood there, on the other side of it, leaning against the wall. It didn’t surprise me he was there. He always found me. Always.

My feet shuffled back, and he stepped inside the closet with me.

I was all cried out, my body sore and tired from the sobs and my face a salty mess from the tears. “How’d you know I was in here?”

He didn’t touch me, just stood there, giving me space but also blocking the exit. “I know you, Summer. Will you let me explain now?”

I shrugged. “I told you everything,
everything
about my past. About Michael, the accident, how I felt responsible. And you failed to mention that you’d already asked someone to marry you?”

“I’m not engaged to Katie, Summer. I never was. Until she showed the ring, I’d forgotten I’d even made it.”

I shook my head. “It was meaningless?”

“Yes.”

“So, you made one for me? A meaningless piece of jewelry.”

Bray ran his hands through his hair. “It wasn’t meaningless that time.”

I rolled my eyes. “Did she really invite you to spend the summer with her in the Hamptons?” He knew what I was doing, establishing that Katie was more important to him than he let on.

“She did, and I told her no. We’re not a couple. Never were.”

“Never?” My arms crossed over my chest.

“No.”

“Tell me about her ring.” My heart felt like it was on fire, burning holes in my chest, but I had to know.

“I’d gone sailing with about ten friends from school.” His gaze drifted to the shelving unit on the wall, and I knew he didn’t want to talk about it. “A lot of people were couples. I didn’t even know anyone had invited Katie. You know, it was just an overnight party thing. Around midnight, I was sitting on the front of the boat making the ring because an old guy on the docks had taught me how the day before. She came out and took it.”

Blood whooshed through my system.

“She put it on and joked about getting married.
It was a joke
, Summer. Nothing more. I swear.”

“Then what?” Because I knew where this was headed, and if he thought I’d let him off the hook, he was dead wrong.

“Then nothing.” He was lying.

“You and Katie didn’t end up together that night?”

Bray took a step back. He worked the muscle in his jaw. I knew the direct question would force the truth from him. “Yeah. We did.”

My heart shattered into a thousand tiny pieces because Bray wasn’t mine, not really. And he never would be. Never
could
be. Not in the way I wanted to be his. And I’d known that, I’d
always
known that. There was no fairy-tale ending for us. Because he had a past that would always be right there in my face. “My parents are going home to Florida tomorrow. I’m going with them.”

He reached for me, but I withdrew. “Summer, please. Don’t do this. Don’t run.”

My head shook, fierce resolve replacing my pain. “You want me to stay? Why? So I can be reminded that the guy I love has been with other girls who might show up with rope rings he doesn’t even remember making? No, Bray. I deserve better than that.”

He was pleading now, his eyes intense and misty. “Listen to me. What happened between me and Katie . . . it didn’t mean anything. It was just a stupid party. We were just trying to have some — ” He stopped, realized he was about to utter the last words Michael said to me. The noise of people shuffling past the closet door quieted, and I watched the frown on his face deepen. He finally understood.

“You were just having some fun.” I was dead inside. Tears all cried out, emotions twisted to the point of numbness. “I’m so tired of other people’s fun ripping out my heart. This hurts too much, Bray. I don’t blame you. I really don’t. I blame myself. I knew what kind of guy you were when we first met.”

“But I’m not that guy anymore, Summer.” He blinked, and a tear caught the light as it trickled down his cheek.

“Your past leaves a wake. I’m sorry. I wish I was stronger, but I’m not, not now, maybe not ever. Those reporters shredded me. Do you think they’ll stop? Not as long as we’re together. Katie is their little darling, and she’s convinced everyone you two are destined to be a
couple. I just need this nightmare to be over, Bray. All of it.” I pulled a deep breath. “You promised to protect me, right?”

He nodded, more tears spilling down his face. “Always.”

“Then, protect me now. Let me go.”

My words stabbed and he sucked a sharp breath. He started to reach out, but instead flexed his fingers at his sides, giving me the last thing he wanted to give and the one thing I had to have. With the back of his hand, he brushed the moisture off his cheeks. “I’ll protect you. If this is really what you want. But I also promised you I’d never let go.”

I started to step past him, reminded of the mountain where he’d held my weight and dragged me to safety. I wished I wasn’t such a fragile thing. Life on the island was a snapshot in time, both of us rising above ourselves. But now we were in the world, the real world, which in some ways was as unforgiving as our island. But on the island we could forget. Here, we couldn’t. And that was why I had to go. I took a step.

He caught my arm. “If you’re set on returning with your parents, I won’t try to stop you. But I will
never
let go, Summer.
Never
. And I’ll be waiting when you’re ready.” His blue eyes swam, and I wished I was strong enough and brave enough to stay. But I wasn’t. I gave him one last look, taking in every feature, and then I closed my eyes and moved past him and out the door.

We flew into the Sarasota Bradenton International Airport. My parents had been supportive, quiet, and solid. They knew I was exhausted. Two days after we got home, my dad handed me a brochure. “What’s this?”