Authors: Susan Mallery
Only Heidi was avoiding him, and he doubted she would want anything to do with him, if they did run into each other. She’d been so angry with him.
He missed her. What could have been awkward—living in the same house together with his mother and her grandfather—had been fun. He’d enjoyed getting to know her, discovering her moods, what made her smile. He missed the sound of her voice, her laughter, the way she turned him on just by walking into a room.
She was what he would miss most when he was gone. She had shown him he didn’t want a perfect wife anymore. He wanted…
Heidi? Love?
The idea of being with her excited him and terrified him in equal measures. She would never accept a relationship based on shared values and friendship. She would hand over her whole heart and insist he give the same. There would be no safety net, no place to hide. And if she were to leave him, he would never be the same.
The idea of being with her, of having to put so much on the line, was too much. He pushed it away and reminded himself he had to stay in control. That was how he’d survived all these years, how he’d taken care of everyone around him. To give that up was to risk it all.
Something he would never do.
* * *
H
EIDI
PUT
CURED
AND
WRAPPED
bars of soap into the boxes in front of her. She was taking her first shipments for China to the post office that afternoon. They would be put on a cargo ship heading east, and in a few months she would know if she’d managed to break into the growing Asian market.
This was a big step for her business, and one that should make her happy. The problem was, lately she couldn’t seem to feel anything but sad. The carnival had moved on to their next stop, leaving the space around the house and barn looking empty. She hadn’t seen Rafe for days and hated how much she missed him. She was too embarrassed to go into town and visit with her friends, although she’d gotten several phone messages of support.
The truth was right now her life sucked, and she only had herself to blame.
“Are you all right?” May asked, walking into the mudroom.
“Tired,” Heidi admitted, putting down the soap and facing her friend. “It’s been a rough couple of days. How about you?”
“I’m working some things through.”
Heidi shoved her hands into her jeans, then pulled them out again. She and May had been friendly enough, but they’d continued to dance around the most important topic of all. No offense to Priscilla, but they were ignoring the elephant in the room.
“I’m sorry for what I did,” Heidi told her. “And relieved to have been caught. I’m not the type to be very good at a life of crime.”
May smiled. “I’m happy to hear that. As for apologizing, you have, and I understand why you did what you did. Rafe didn’t leave you much choice.”
“He and I have a complicated relationship.” No way she was going to admit they’d slept together. May might be lovely and charming, but she was also Rafe’s mother. “I didn’t know how to talk to him, but I could have come to you. I should have.”
“I wish you had,” May admitted. “We could have worked something out. A compromise. I never wanted to hurt you or Glen.”
Heidi sighed. She was about to say maybe they could figure something out now, when a car pulled up to the house. She recognized it as belonging to the Fool’s Gold police department.
“What on earth?” May said, heading for the back door.
Heidi followed, and they found Police Chief Barns walking toward them.
“Mrs. Stryker,” Chief Barns said with a nod. “Heidi.”
“Hi.” Heidi’s stomach tightened. Rita would tell her she was experiencing a premonition. But it wasn’t that the police chief was going to inform her she’d won the lottery.
“Heidi Simpson, you are ordered to appear before Judge Loomis in the morning.” Alice handed her an envelope. Her stern expression turned sympathetic. “Just so you know, she’s mad. Don’t be late.”
Heidi took the envelope and swallowed. “She knows about the cave paintings?”
“She knows everything.”
* * *
L
AST
TIME
H
EIDI
HAD
SEEN
the judge, she’d been in back with the observers, and Glen had been the one seated next to Trisha Wynn. Now Heidi was beside the lawyer and, despite the fact that she was sitting, she felt herself shaking all over.
“I’m not even speaking to you,” Trisha said in a low voice, as they waited for Judge Loomis to appear. “Of all the half-brained ideas. Why didn’t you come talk to me?”
“I don’t know. I just reacted.”
“You better hope that old saying about God helping fools is true.”
“I thought the saying was more like God didn’t suffer fools.”
“You really want to correct my English right now?”
“Sorry.”
“All rise.”
Heidi stood, clutching the table to keep from collapsing. She was more scared than she’d ever been. Last time, she’d been able to focus all her worry on Glen and what would happen to him. Now she was the one the judge wanted to see. Worse, she was in the wrong. When her actions were combined with what her grandfather had done, Judge Loomis was going to assume they were a family of criminals and thieves.
The judge took her place, and they were instructed to sit. Heidi perched on the edge of her chair, her back straight, her hands clasped tightly together.
The courtroom was filled. She tried not to look at who had come to see her publicly humiliated. She knew May and Glen were there. Heidi’s friends would show up to offer support. She was less sure about Rafe. He might have already left for San Francisco. Or maybe he’d come to gloat.
The judge slipped on her glasses and studied the paperwork in front of her. Heidi told herself to keep breathing.
The judge looked up and removed her glasses. “Ms. Simpson.”
Heidi rose.
“I am deeply disappointed in you, Ms. Simpson. I believe I made myself very clear when you and your grandfather were last before me. I had hoped you and the Stryker family would come to terms, but I see that is not the case.”
Heidi’s mouth began to tremble, and she did her best to keep from crying.
The judge paused. “Do you have an explanation?”
“No, Your Honor. I’m disappointed in myself, as well. When I discovered Mr. Stryker planned to use the ranch to build a development, I went a little crazy. I was angry and hurt and felt betrayed. All I’ve wanted all my life is a home. A place to belong. I thought I’d found that here, in Fool’s Gold. I have my grandfather and my friends, my goats, the ranch.”
She drew in a breath. “When Harvey got sick, and Glen took the money from Mrs. Stryker, I knew everything I loved was in danger of being lost. You gave me a second chance, and I was very appreciative. I’ve been saving money to repay Mrs. Stryker. I’ve expanded my business. May and I have been working well together. She’s bought some animals and made improvements. When I found out about what Rafe had planned, I should have gone to her.”
“But you didn’t.”
Heidi shook her head.
“While I can sympathize with your distress upon discovering what Mr. Stryker planned to do, there is a big difference between a plan and an action. You chose to act, Ms. Simpson. You deliberately deceived this town you claim to love. You defrauded the people you care about. Once again, our town is being mocked in the media, something those of us who have lived here all our lives do not appreciate.”
A tear slipped down Heidi’s cheek. She brushed it away.
“There is no excuse for your behavior. You have disrespected yourself, your community and this court.”
“Your Honor?” May rose and waved her hand.
“Yes, Mrs. Stryker.”
“Please don’t be angry with Heidi. I’m not, and don’t I have the most reason? She and I can work something out. We’ll share the ranch. I don’t want Heidi to lose her home.”
More tears fell. Heidi couldn’t believe May was defending her, offering to help her.
“I’m afraid it’s not your decision,” the judge said. “Ms. Simpson must suffer the consequences of her actions.” She turned to Heidi. “The D.A. has discussed bringing charges, but at this time, she would prefer not to. So you will not be going to jail.”
Heidi’s knees nearly gave way. She hadn’t considered jail an option.
“However, with the exception of the caves where you age your cheese, Ms. Simpson, and one acre surrounding the caves, I’m awarding the Castle Ranch to Mrs. Stryker.”
Judge Loomis banged her gavel. “This court is adjourned.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
H
EIDI
SAT
IN
THE
BOOTH
at Jo’s Bar, her hands wrapped around her diet soda. Charlie and Annabelle were with her, making sympathetic noises. Actually, that was mostly Annabelle. Charlie was more into action and thought they should go find Rafe and punish him. She was a little vague on the details of the punishment.
“It’s not his fault,” Heidi said firmly, determined to not complain. She’d made a choice, and now, as the judge had pointed out, she would deal with the consequences.
The sound of the banging gavel still echoed in her head. She’d heard the news and run. Run from Glen, run from May, who called after her to wait. Run from them all, because she couldn’t face them or what she’d done.
“Rafe didn’t do anything,” she continued. “He had some ideas, made plans, but he didn’t act.”
“Only because he didn’t have time,” Charlie grumbled. “I could take him.”
Heidi was less sure of that. Charlie might be strong, but Rafe’s muscles were honed through hard, physical labor. And he was a guy—which meant he started with an excess of upper body strength.
Annabelle’s delicate features were sharp with anguish. “It’s my fault. I encouraged you to fake the find. I helped with the cave paintings. If I hadn’t gotten in the way, you would have talked to Rafe, and none of this would have happened.”
“Even I know it wasn’t all because of you,” Charlie muttered.
“She’s right,” Heidi said. “I don’t blame anyone but myself. I didn’t like what I was doing, but I did it, anyway. I asked you to put the word out because I was hurt. Rafe had gone on a date without telling me.”
Both her friends stared at her.
“What does that…” Annabelle caught her breath. “You were sleeping with him.”
Charlie’s blue eyes widened. “No way.”
“Way,” Heidi told them. “I couldn’t help myself.”
“He is hunky,” Annabelle said with a sigh. “I miss hunky. Honest to God, I can’t remember the last time I slept with a hunky guy. Or a not-so-hunky one. Sex is a distant memory. I think it was a Tuesday.”
Charlie leaned toward her. “Not about you.”
Annabelle blinked. “Oh, right. Sorry.” She put her hand on top of Heidi’s. “Putting the pieces together, you didn’t just lose your home, you lost the man you love.”
Charlie straightened. “You love him? When did that happen? Why didn’t I know this?”
Heidi started to say she didn’t, but there had already been too many lies. “I’m not sure when it started, but yes, I love him. I’ve been so scared to trust myself and my heart. I worried about getting lost, about not being strong enough.” She drew in a breath. “I lost everything this morning. My home, my plans for the future, my pride. I’ve learned a lesson about who I am, and here’s what I know. I’m strong and I’ll survive this. I have my goats and my business.”
Ironically, her business was in better shape than ever, thanks to Rafe. She had product going overseas; she’d started selling in specialty stores in L.A. and San Francisco.
“It’ll take me a few years to save the money for a down payment, but I’ll buy other land eventually.”
“So you’re not leaving?” Annabelle asked anxiously.
“No. I belong here.”
Fool’s Gold was where she wanted to be. This town had become her home.
“What about him?” Charlie asked.
Heidi assumed her friend meant Rafe. “I don’t know. He’s leaving, if he’s not already gone.”
“He was in court this morning. He didn’t look happy.”
“I can’t imagine why not. He’s getting everything he wanted.” Heidi fought against hopelessness. “May will be upset. She’s not the type who revels in winning, but Rafe doesn’t believe in taking prisoners. He’ll get over any guilt he might feel.”
Along with any other emotions, she thought sadly. Because she honestly didn’t know what their relationship had been to him. What he wanted, she couldn’t be. And even if she could, she wouldn’t do that to herself, wouldn’t try to change to fit some preconceived mold of the perfect wife and mother.
Jo walked over and slapped a piece of paper on the table. “I’m not sure why everyone thinks I like taking messages.” She slid the paper toward Heidi. “Take it.”
Heidi looked at the sheet. There were notes about different rental houses. The number of bedrooms, the locations, the cost per month. Beside each listing were notes.
Tell Heidi no deposit required. She’s family.
There are two master suites. Perfect for Heidi and her grandfather.
Big yard. Pets okay, and I wouldn’t mind if she used the goats to mow the lawn.
Heidi looked at Jo. “I don’t understand.”
“Word spread. Everyone knows what happened in court this morning. You need a place to stay, and we take care of our own.” Jo shrugged. “It’s pretty simple.”
Heidi opened her mouth, then closed it. Whatever shame lingered in her body was pushed out by
gratitude.
Jo tapped the list. “The house with the big yard is great. Updated kitchen on a quiet street. It’s the closest to the ranch. Oh, and these just came.”
She put three large, disklike campaign buttons on the table, then walked away.
Annabelle and Charlie each reached for a button. Heidi picked up the third one and stared. In big block letters it read: Team Heidi.
For the second time in as many minutes, she felt confused. “What is this?”
Charlie was already pinning hers on. “We’re taking sides. Team Heidi, Team Rafe. My guess is no one is going to be stupid enough to wear a Team Rafe button.”
Annabelle held hers up to the front of her dress, moving it from her right side to her left. “Where do people look first?” she asked.
“If you want women to see it, put it on the left. If you want guys to see it, put it on your boobs.”
“Very funny.” Annabelle secured it to the left side and patted the button. “I like it.”
Heidi blinked as the ramifications of the pin crashed into her. Someone had taken the time and trouble to make sure she knew she was loved. Maybe only a few people would wear the buttons, but seeing even one would be amazing.
“I don’t deserve you guys,” she whispered, pinning the button to the left side of her T-shirt.
“That’s true,” Charlie said cheerfully. “But you’re stuck with us. We’re like weeds in the lawn. You might think you’ve gotten rid of us, but we just bounce right back.”
* * *
H
EIDI
SAT
IN
HER
TRUCK
,
staring at the small house. It was pretty, with a new roof and fresh paint. Flowers grew alongside the walkway, and the bushes were neatly trimmed. It was a charming home. She would guess there was plenty of hot water and that all the appliances were in working condition. As far as rentals went, it was perfect.
And nothing she wanted.
She wanted to be back on the ranch, hoping she could finish washing her hair before the water went cold. She wanted to fight with the washer, wince at the faded and slightly peeling paint, and listen to the porch creak when she walked on it. She wanted to see May’s menagerie of old, unwanted animals, ride Shane’s horses and watch the sun set over the gentle hump of Priscilla’s silhouette.
Despite her promises to be strong, she felt like a failure. Consequences sucked. She supposed the sooner she accepted that, the better.
She glanced at her watch. She was a few minutes early for her appointment to see the house. Maybe she would walk around and look at the backyard while she was waiting.
As she climbed out, a bigger, older truck pulled up behind hers. She watched her grandfather park and then walk toward her.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
Glen reached her and wrapped his arms around her. “I got a call that you were here, and I came to look at the house.”
“Who called?”
“One of your friends.”
She hugged him back, inhaling the familiar scent of him, and the memories that came with the man who had been her only family nearly her entire life.
“But you’re not moving in with me,” she said. “You’re staying with May.” She stepped back. “I’ve seen you two together, Glen. You’ve known a lot of women, more than I want to ever imagine.”
He smiled. “I always promised, no details.”
“I appreciate that. But I have to admit, you’ve got something special with May. You really care about her.”
“Yes, but you’re my granddaughter. I’m not going to stay with her when you’ve lost everything and it’s all because of me.”
She hugged him again, holding on tight. “It wasn’t you. It was me. I think if I hadn’t screwed up, the judge would have given me a better deal. Or I could have worked something out with May. You were helping Harvey. I would rather have things work out the way they did, with him alive, than the alternative.”
He kissed her forehead. “You’re a good girl. I love you, Heidi. I’m not leaving you.”
She felt his caring, his support, and it gave her strength. She stepped back and smiled. “Maybe it’s time for me to be on my own. I’m twenty-eight. We should probably risk it.”
He touched her cheek. “You’ve been taking care of me for years. You just think I haven’t noticed. This isn’t about you being on your own—it’s about you being alone.”
“Maybe it’s time for that, too.” She took his hand in hers. “Glen, don’t lose May because of me. I don’t want that. She’s a wonderful woman. It’s taken you decades to fall in love. Why would you walk away from that?”
“There was your grandmother,” he began.
“Oh, please. You got her pregnant and had to marry her. It wasn’t a love match. You never admitted it, but I always knew the truth. You got lucky and she left you. Otherwise, you would have been miserable.”
He smiled. “You’ve always been a smart girl.”
“So listen to me. I’m renting this house on my own. You’re going back to May. I insist. Even if you don’t, I’m not letting you move in here. So you’ll have to find your own place.”
“You’re a tough negotiator.”
“Tell me about it.”
* * *
R
AFE
WANDERED
THROUGH
Fool’s Gold. It was the weekend and there was yet another festival going on. This one didn’t include a carnival, although there were plenty of booths selling things. He saw jewelry, wind chimes and organic honey. He didn’t get the latter. Wasn’t honey made by bees? Weren’t bees inherently organic?
He kept moving, taking in the sights and sounds. The smells of barbecue and burgers. He was surrounded by crowds and he’d never felt more alone.
For days now, he’d been dodging calls from Dante. His friend wanted to know when he would be back in the office. A reasonable question, considering Rafe had promised to be there nearly a week ago. But for reasons he couldn’t explain, he hadn’t been able to take the final step of packing and driving away.
He knew he was waiting for something, but couldn’t figure out what. His mother wasn’t speaking to him, and he hadn’t seen Heidi in days. The closest he’d come to contact with her was the damned Team Heidi buttons he saw dozens of women wearing. So far he’d seen only one Team Rafe button. It had been on a beer-bellied guy, who’d given him a thumbs-up and said to keep up the good work. As if Rafe had something to be proud of.
He slipped into Morgan’s Books and looked at the thrillers on the front table. There were also a few mysteries, including one by Liz Sutton, with a big Local Author sticker on the front.
“She’s very good,” Mayor Marsha said, coming up to Rafe. “Liz has a series set in San Francisco. You’d enjoy that. In her first few books, one of the victims always looked like your friend Ethan.”
“Why Ethan?”
“They had a troubled past. Ethan can give you the details. It all worked out.”
“Isn’t Ethan now married to Liz?”
The older woman smiled. “As I said, it worked itself out. Love has a way of doing that.”
A woman in her thirties wearing a Team Heidi button greeted the mayor, glared at Rafe and left the store.
Mayor Marsha motioned to a seating area off to the side in the store.
“I would imagine you’re getting a lot of that sort of thing these days,” she said, when he’d seated himself on a plush sofa and she’d taken the chair opposite. “People assuming the worst about you.”
“I didn’t have anything to do with the judge’s decision. I didn’t want Heidi to lose her house.”
“Were you going to build those houses for the casino?”
He shrugged. “Probably. If my mother had agreed. The land is in both our names, but it’s her property. Everyone is pissed because they think I stole Heidi’s home. I didn’t, and regardless of their opinion of me, the town is going to need extra housing.”
“Yes, and sooner than we’re willing to admit.” Her blue gaze was steady. “I think your heart was in the right place, but your actions were a little ahead of where they should have been.”
“Is that why you’re not wearing a Team Heidi button?”
“I’ve found it’s better for everyone if I don’t take sides.” She studied him. “I’ve learned not to interfere. It was a hard-won lesson, as the most important ones are.” She paused. “My daughter died a few years ago.”
“I’m sorry,” he said automatically, not sure why she was telling him.
“The tragedy is so much more than her death at a relatively young age. Because that’s not when I lost her. I lost her years before, when she was a teenager. I demanded too much, expected more than was reasonable. I might be a relatively benign mayor, but I was a difficult mother. I held on too tight. Maybe I was afraid, maybe I thought that’s what love was. Rather than fight me, she ran away. She was still a teenager.”
“Did you ever reconcile?”
“No. I finally found her, but she wanted nothing to do with me. She had a daughter, my only grandchild, who I didn’t meet for years. I learned a harsh lesson.”
“If you love something, set it free?”
She smiled. “In part. But I also learned that who we love and who loves us truly defines us as people. Who do you love, Rafe?”
The question surprised him and caused him to shift on the too-soft sofa. “My family.”