Summer Kisses (39 page)

“I don’t need a babysitter.” Her eyes narrowed, but she didn’t sound pissed, only tired.

The bottom edge of her white towel grazed his peripheral vision. If he looked up now, he would touch her, and once he got his hands on her, he wasn’t going to stop.

For the last seventeen years, he’d made sure to control himself around her. He rarely touched her, provided a sympathetic ear when she needed one, and kept his feelings to himself. Being near her but always checking himself so she wouldn’t guess his feelings was the hardest thing he’d ever done … but he’d do it all again, because being around her made life worth living. This time, he’d show her how he felt. It was okay now that Ricky was gone. He needed to start small—little gestures of his love. She didn’t trust him.

Just to be on the safe side, he slid his hands under his thighs. Small gestures … small gestures … small gestures. “Get dressed and we’ll talk.”

“What about Dawnie?”

“Mandy’s home from school and distracted her from the Barbies with the promise of a long bubble bath and pink glitter nail polish.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her bend over to pick up one bag. He closed his eyes and tried really hard not to imagine that towel falling to the floor.

He opened his eyes to find that she’d walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

The scent of her flowery soap on her skin lingered in the air. Lucky was feminine in an unconventional way. Every move she made was somehow graceful and harsh—like a cross between Donna Reed and Xena the Warrior Princess. He glanced at the bathroom door. Would there ever be a time when she didn’t feel the need to shut it? Would he ever get a chance to be more than her brother-in-law?

Five torturous minutes later, she stepped out, wearing skintight jeans and a vintage Rolling Stones concert tee shirt. Her feet were bare, her hair was finger-combed in a long, wavy mass, and her face was makeup free. He wanted to eat her up.

As she walked, she reached behind her and twisted her hair up into some intricate bun thing and stuck a pen through it. He’d seen her do it a thousand times, but it still mesmerized him. How did it stay up? How could she look so regal with nothing but a pen?

She took the seat on the sofa next to him, propped her feet up on the coffee table, and relaxed back. “So, what evil master plan have you hatched this time?”

A lock of hair came loose and fell into her face. He stuck his hands under him again to keep from tucking it behind her ear.

“First, thanks for saving Dawnie’s life. If you hadn’t been there… I don’t even want to think about it.” His voice shook, and he couldn’t make it stop. The thought of losing Dawnie… It made him physically ill.

“You know thanks aren’t necessary. She’s such a sweet child, I’m glad I got there in time.” Lucky took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You’re stalling.”

She turned to look at him. “I promise to listen. Right now, emotionally, I don’t have much left in me. Never in a million years would I have believed myself capable of caring about Ricky’s children. But when I heard that cry for help and saw that tiny body at the bottom of the pool, I died a thousand times. I had to save her. She had to be okay. My heart stopped beating until she took a breath. And then she held me so tightly.” Her voice broke. “What am I supposed to do? She has Ricky’s eyes.”

She was hurting, and he ached to hold her.

If life were different, he would have scooped her up, set her on his lap, and kissed it away, but he couldn’t, no matter what he wanted, so he kept his hands exactly where they were.

“I know this is hard for you. If I could save you this pain, I would, but you have to face it.” He blew out a long breath. “And unfortunately you have to face some other things too.” How did he start? How did he go about ruining the life of the woman he loved? “I know you don’t want to talk about the new reality show, but we have to discuss it.”

“No, we don’t.” Her heart wasn’t in it, and she didn’t get up. It was progress … hopefully.

“Yes, we do. You’re being sued by the show, and they want their money back.” Which was just a drop in the bucket.

“So what? As soon as Ricky’s will is out of probate, I’ll settle with them. What’s the big deal?” She sounded so matter-of-fact … so innocent. That was about to change.

“There is no money.” He let his hands out of jail, turned so that his back was against the armrest, and gave her his full attention. Facing her head-on was the least he could do for her. “Ricky’s estate is broke. In fact, the bank will be foreclosing on the house next week. I’ve put them off that long with the promise of a new show. My brother was a hell of a musician but a terrible money manager. He invested everything in a company developing efficient solar power technology. They went bankrupt and took everything Ricky had with them.”

“Everything?” She shook her head. “Solar power… What are you talking about? No, wait…. He was obsessed with green energy. I remember him mentioning it.” She sat up, tucked one leg under her, and turned her body toward Will. “When you say everything… How much is left?”

He could see the hope in her eyes, and it cut deeply that he would be the one to squash it. “You are in debt up to your eyeballs. And bankruptcy isn’t an option because you don’t own enough assets to cover the debt. The bank will take the house and all of the contents to pay off the money Ricky borrowed to invest in the solar company, the court will garnish any royalties made off his music to pay the studio back, and Ricky wiped out your savings the week before he died. He was counting on his upcoming tour to replenish the coffers.”

“Oh.” She nodded and let it all sink in.

He had to give her credit. She didn’t fall apart. The near loss of Dawnie had been more emotional than finding out she was flat broke. That was as it should be, but unfortunately for the girls, not a view their mother would have taken.

“The only way out is the reality show.” She rolled her shoulders like she was trying to smooth out the tension. Maybe someday, he’d reach over and massage it away.

He gave Lucky a minute while she processed the situation.

She nodded slowly. “Okay, here’s the deal. I want one hundred million dollars for one season, half up front, and they drop the lawsuit. I will designate where and when the cameras can film. If they fire me, I get to keep the money. Filming starts as soon as possible and lasts for no more than six months. All of this is nonnegotiable and final. One season and one season only.” She nodded. “I can stand six months. Half of a year in this house, and then I am out of here.”

She would leave, and he would never see her again. His heart ached. At least he had six months. That was something. “I’ll call them today.”

“Always in charge.” She nailed him with her hazel-green eyes dead on and made to get up.

Will grabbed her hand and pulled her back down. It was a necessary touch, and he made himself let go of her hand. “We need to talk about Rosie.”

“Dawnie told me that she died. How wrong was it to be the tiniest bit happy?”

“She had cancer…cervical cancer that metastasized.”

She slumped back against the pillows. The fact that both Lucky and
she
had cervical cancer was no coincidence. Cervical cancer was caused by the HPV virus, which was transmitted through sex. Ricky must have been fairly crawling with HPV.

“Now I feel somewhat bad about being happy.” With her forefinger and thumb, she pinched the bridge of her nose. She’d been lucky that her cancer had been caught early. “So you’re the girls’ legal guardian?”

“They have no one else.” Will sounded tired, and he couldn’t help it.

“Wow.” She sat forward and covered his hand with hers. “That’s a lot to take on. How are you handling it?”

Lucky might have been mad at him, but when it counted, she was always there. When someone mattered to her, she would move heaven and earth for that person. What he wouldn’t give to see love shining in her eyes instead of sympathy.

Without thinking, Will laced his fingers through hers and tried not to sound too hopeful. “They need a woman’s guidance. I don’t have the right to ask this, but please keep an open mind when it comes to the girls. They are victims as much as you are. They haven’t had it easy.”

With her thumb, she stroked the back of his hand. It was soothing and sexy at the same time. This was too much physical contact. He couldn’t handle it. She hadn’t meant it to be sexy because it was a kind gesture to console a friend. Always the friend, never the lover. But he couldn’t pull his hand away. She was here, and they were touching.

“I can’t…” She bit her lip, swallowed several times, and nodded. “I’ll try.”

This was the Lucky he knew and loved. She would do what had to be done and then leave.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Ricky?” Her tone wasn’t accusatory, merely questioning. She tucked her legs under her.

He shook his head and silently begged her to forgive him. The last year and a half without her had been an eternal winter full of gray days and sleepless nights. He hadn’t noticed until he’d seen her today and his world had filled with color again. “I couldn’t. It would have hurt you deeply, and I couldn’t do it. If it had been anyone other than you, I’d have spilled everything long ago.”

He’d gambled with the truth and lost. How did he explain that hurting her was the last thing he’d ever wanted? That was why he’d kept Ricky’s dirty little lies, not because of familial loyalty but because hurting her made him sick to his stomach.

“So instead, you let me find out on live TV—”

“I had no idea that was going to happen. Ricky and Rosie kept it secret. Even the girls didn’t know.” Before he’d realized he was doing it, he’d brought their linked hands to his lips and kissed each one of her knuckles starting with her thumb. He hadn’t meant it to be so intimate, but she didn’t pull away.

Lucky had to understand…. She had to forgive him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you but ended up doing just that.” His mouth lingered over her hand a little too long, and he forced himself to lower their linked hands. “I would have done anything—will do anything for you, but I couldn’t hurt you.”

Her eyes narrowed to squints. “I don’t know why, but I believe you.” She leaned closer. She smelled of her favorite shampoo and Bert’s Bees Coconut Foot Cream. He wanted to start at her feet and kiss his way up.

“Come on in, let’s hug it out. I know you hate hugging me, so that’s partially why I’m insisting.” She pulled him closer. “Come on in here.”

He pulled her to him, and her arms went around his neck. His eyes fluttered closed, and he savored the feel of her against him. She fit so perfectly in his arms. Her heavy breasts mashed against his chest. He slid one hand into her hair and pressed her to him. His other hand slid down to the small of her back—right where her tee shirt ended and the waistband of her jeans jutted open. If things were different, he’d slide his hands down and cup her round bottom, but Lucky only saw him as her brother-in-law. Determined not to let go first, he held tight.

“I’m having a little trouble breathing.” Lucky’s voice was raspy.

“Sorry.” He loosened his hold but didn’t let go. If it were up to him, he’d never let go.

As she sat back on her heels, one arm fell away, but the other stayed around his neck. The taut muscles at his neck relaxed under the weight of her arm.

Lucky looked around. “I hate this room. It’s like living in a giant cotton ball.”

“To me, it’s a giant ream of copy paper.” It was peaceful sitting next to her.

“That’s a good one. And that bed. It’s like Liberace’s albino rejects. The marble cherubs carved into the headboard still freak me out.” She inched over next to him and laid her head on his shoulder. “I know being this close to me must be torture, but I saw a side of you today that I’ve never seen before. You and Dawnie … you love her. Your concern was nice. I didn’t expect it.”

She was right, her being this close with her head on his shoulder was delicious torture, and he did his level best to ignore the fact that one of her breasts was pressed up against his arm. He’d never realized that she noticed his lack of touching her.

“Never in a million years would I have thought that you and I would move in together and have a reality show with Ricky’s children. I feel like I should hate it, but I kind of don’t. I can’t wait to play Barbies with Dawnie. Does that make me open-minded or merely desperate to belong?”

“It makes you wonderful. Not many people are as resilient as you. Nothing keeps you down.” He tried to keep the love out of his voice, but he wasn’t sure he pulled it off.

“In the beginning, I kind of felt that you tolerated me for Ricky’s sake. Then we became friends … sort of … well, you pretended to like me. I know Ricky always sent you to deal with me when he didn’t have the time or didn’t want to bother. You were always nice to me even when you wanted to ring my neck. Thanks.”

This is how she thought he felt? He had a lot of work to do. “What do you mean? I’ve always liked you.” One day, he’d changed that like to love.

“You know Betts and Charlie have this crazy idea that you have a thing for me.”

Will choked on a mouthful of embarrassment. “I … um … well…”

“I know, crazy, right?”

That was a stab right to the heart.

“Yes.” He tried to laugh it off, but it sounded hollow. He bit the inside of his cheek and tried to grin. She had no idea how much that had hurt.

Forever cursed as the role of best friend instead of boyfriend. The nineteenth-century novelist J.M. Barrie had said it best: “Even love unreturned has its rainbow.” And his rainbow had no idea that he’d loved her the longest and deepest of any other person alive or dead.

~~~

What in the holy hell was Lucky supposed to do now? She stared up at Will. His shoulder supporting her head was soothing. Calm Will, reliable Will, steady Will. Little lines crinkled the edges of his chocolate-brown eyes.

She’d agreed to mortgage her soul for the sake of money … again. But little Dawnie had held her so tight, and she couldn’t stand the thought of Dawnie having to lose even more. Since Ricky’s estate was broke, his children were broke also, and that was something from which she couldn’t run away. Responsibility wrapped its noose around her neck and pulled tight. They weren’t her kids, but they needed her … at least for a little while.