Summer on Lovers' Island (28 page)

“Shall we sit on the deck?” she asked. “It's nice out there, and I've been inside most of the day.”

“Sure,” he answered, and she led the way back outside. From the way he was looking at the cottage, she could tell it wasn't quite up to his standards. Maybe it
was
a bit rustic, but it was cozy. She'd thought so from the beginning.

They settled into a pair of chairs and Lizzie let out a sigh. This was her favorite time of day, really. At the end of the summer the sun was mellow, the ocean beautiful, and the breeze fresh.

“Tired?” Ian asked, tipping up his can. She realized she hadn't even bothered to offer him a glass with ice. She wondered why she cared so little. Ian was her boss. Or had been, until her leave of absence. He was the one in the position of making things right again. He might have news of the lawsuit. And right now she was more concerned with her pasta and empty stomach. It made no sense, because with things being awkward between her and Josh her position at the hospital was more important than ever.

“Not really tired,” Lizzie replied, taking a sip of the crisp wine. “Just chilling out. My schedule's a dream here, really.” She chuckled a little. “I just had some crotchety patients today. I earned my wine.”

“I never thought I'd see you at a family practice. Especially not in a small town.”

“Life is full of surprises,” she answered dryly. “I had to do something. I didn't have a job, Ian. I wasn't about to sit in my condo and take up basket weaving or macram
é
or something.”
Bam.
If he thought she was going to avoid the subject, he was sorely mistaken. It was what it was and she wouldn't pretend otherwise.

“About that…,” Ian started the subject, then halted a little.

“Is that why you drove all the way out here, Ian? What is it? Do I not have a job to go back to? Is it something to do with the lawsuit? Because you haven't called once all summer. Not that I expected you to, but finding you on my doorstep is a bit of a surprise.”

He put his soda can down on a small table, then turned his chair so he was facing her. “It's good news, actually. The hospital is settling the suit. You don't need to worry about that.”

It surprised her that she didn't really react to his news. Truthfully, she hadn't been worried—much. She'd spent far more time wondering about the family affected than any civil litigation. She wondered, as she looked into Ian's handsome face, if he ever felt the same sort of qualms or fits of conscience.

“I made a mistake, Ian. It cost that family their baby. I really wasn't thinking too much about a lawsuit.”

“Of course.” His eyes softened. “I understand that, Lizzie. You've got a good heart. You always did.”

“Is that why you came? To tell me about the lawsuit, tell me what a good person I am?”

His gaze held hers. “Partly. I understand you're angry with me. I hope you believe me when I say I was trying to do what was best. It wasn't all in the interest of the hospital. I'm worried about you, too.”

“I was angry at first,” she admitted. “But I did need the break. I was on the verge of burnout. I stopped resenting you for that part of it a while ago.”

It was true, she realized. It bugged her that Ian had been right, because she didn't like to be wrong. She wasn't blind to her faults. But her time here hadn't been so bad. Jewell Cove was a nice town with nice people.

And Josh. It seemed hugely inappropriate that she would think of him while sitting with Ian, but she couldn't help it. The two of them were doctors but as different as rain is from sun.

She knew which she preferred, and it made her uneasy. She'd left Ian behind without too much difficulty. Josh was going to be a lot harder to forget.

“I'm glad,” Ian replied, relief evident in his voice. “Look, Lizzie, I wanted to see how you're doing, if the time off has been good for you. I can see it was. You've got that sparkle back in your eyes and you look rested. I'm so glad.”

“My schedule isn't quite as demanding as I'm used to.”

He chuckled. “I bet. Are you longing to get back to the craziness of the ER? I can't picture you really being happy here. Nice for a vacation, but it's not you in the long term. You're not happy unless you're in the middle of the action, with something new to challenge you every day. Ingrown toenails must get a little boring after a while.”

It bugged her that Ian would presume to tell her about herself. He'd only known her a few years.

What bothered her more was knowing that he was right. That he was describing the old Lizzie to a T. Hadn't she thought the exact same thing when she'd arrived?

“Are you offering me my job back, Ian?”

“I am. It's not the same without you, Lizzie. I know you took this job out of spite, that you were unhappy with me. But that's all over now. We can move past it, can't we?”

She stared at him, unsure of what to say, wondering if she should actually say anything at all. What was he saying? That he wanted her back as well?

“You mean the leave of absence thing, right?” She sat back in her chair a bit, considering, doing a lot of tongue biting because she didn't want to say anything rash.

“That,” he said softly. “And other things as well. I've missed you.”

She hadn't missed him. Not that way. “Ian,” she said, wanting to be clear but tactful, too, “we got together because we had things in common and, well, it was convenient. But I'm not in that place anymore. Those reasons aren't enough for me.”

His smile faded. “They used to be. And it was more than that, Lizzie. I cared for you. I still do.”

“And that's why you didn't call me all summer?”

He blushed a little.

“I didn't call you, either.” She vaguely remembered a rumor at the hospital about Ian seeing someone new just before Lizzie left. Not for a second did she think that had anything to do with her leaving. Ian did have some integrity, after all. “You were with someone else for a while. Didn't that work out?”

The blush deepened, an unflattering shade next to his reddish hair. “It didn't, no.” He swallowed and looked at her. “She wasn't you.”

Lizzie had the odd feeling that she should be happy. That Ian was here, offering her not only her job but also a second chance at romance. She knew for sure she didn't want the relationship, and she had no idea how she felt about the job. How was that possible when only weeks ago she'd been furious at being let go?

He put his hand on hers and twined their fingers together. “Lizzie, we can work things out, can't we? We're the same sort of people with the same goals and dreams. I know what makes you tick. I want to try again. I want to go back to how things used to be.”

Lizzie pulled her hand away. She couldn't stop thinking about Josh, the way he looked at her that day on the island when they'd made love. She didn't want to, but she suspected that he was now the man who'd set the bar for her, and right now Ian wasn't coming remotely close to measuring up. She was starting to see herself a little more clearly thanks to Josh.

“Things won't be like they used to be because I'm not like I used to be,” she said quietly. “I've changed, Ian. And I don't feel that way about you anymore. I want someone who can blow my mind, who can surprise me. Who can make my life exciting and an adventure. We have too much in common. I don't want to be the woman on your arm because we fit or could be this great power couple.” She blinked against a sudden stinging in her eyes. “You know what I want, Ian? I want a grand passion. I want to be swept off my feet. And it might not always be comfortable and it might not be easy, but that's okay. You and I would never have that kind of relationship. And it's not fair to you for me to pretend. I need to be honest with you from the start.”

Quiet descended on them, uncomfortable and heavy. Ian stared out over the bay, hurt written on every feature. Lizzie waited, and as the seconds ticked on she wished he'd say something so they could move forward.

Finally he sighed. “Okay,” he said quietly. “Okay. I get it. Ouch, but I get it.”

Her face relaxed slightly. “Thank you, Ian. I wasn't trying to hurt you. It's just … it's really over, that's all.”

“And the job?” he asked. “Are you still coming back? We could really use you. It wasn't long ago that you were the best doctor in the department. You're young and ambitious and smart and your career is just beginning.”

Funny, her dad had said the same thing on her first day on staff at the hospital. He'd been so happy and proud and she'd been happy, too, seeing that light in his eye. His approval and encouragement had meant so much.

What would he think of the woman sitting here today? Would he feel disappointment? Pride? Did any of it matter? He was gone. Really, really gone.

She missed the pace and challenge of working in an emergency department. But she wasn't sure she fit in in Springfield anymore, either.

“Can I have some time to think about it?” she asked. “I'm here covering Charlie's mat leave, and she hasn't even delivered yet.”

“Surely it wouldn't be hard to find a replacement for a few months.” He chuckled. “I'm not sure why this place needs two doctors anyway.”

She didn't like the way he said it. As if Jewell Cove were barely worth mentioning.

“I can't just up and leave. Besides, she's my best friend. I want to be here when her baby's born.”

“So come back and visit.” He frowned. “Besides, what about your mom? Don't you hate being so far away from her?”

It was a direct hit to Lizzie's conscience, but it also made it easier for her to step back. “I've been visiting, don't worry. My mother isn't any of your concern. You were the one who forced me out. If I need some time to think about your offer, I'm going to take it.”

He finished his drink and put down his can. “I see.”

“Did you think I would leap at the chance to return?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Actually, yes. I think I did. You're different than I remember, Lizzie. If I didn't know better, I'd say this town has gotten to you.”

If Josh or Charlie or even Jess or Sarah had said such a thing, it would have been a compliment. Lizzie knew Ian didn't mean it that way. God, had she been this snobby when she'd arrived? No wonder Josh had been cool at first.

She stood. “I'll think about it, Ian. That's all I can promise right now.”

Ian stood, too, but she'd underestimated his persistence. “Is there a place in town I could book for the night? I'd like to take you to breakfast in the morning. We could talk some more.”

Lizzie was at a loss for words for a minute. He'd planned on staying in Jewell Cove overnight? And he hadn't booked a room, which meant …

He'd been planning to stay here.
Presumptuous much?

“There's a motel on the main drag into town, but it's a little, um, plain for your standards. There's an inn a few streets up from the harbor that would probably be okay. It's a busy time of year, though.”

She didn't offer to let him stay at the cottage—certainly not in her room, and not in the spare room, either.

“I'll try there,” he replied. The strain between them multiplied as Ian accepted the cue that it was time for him to leave. “Breakfast tomorrow, though, before I have to head back?”

It was awkward, but really, she didn't have bad feelings. Breakfast was no biggie. “There's a caf
é
called ‘Breezes' that serves a great breakfast. Let's meet at nine?”

“Nine, then. And think about what I said, okay? You're a big asset to the department. I'd like to see you return.” His gaze met hers. “Regardless of our personal status.”

“I will,” she said, leading the way to the door.

When he was gone she took out the container of pasta she'd brought home. She'd been hungry then, but she wasn't anymore. Now she didn't know what she felt. It was all so confusing, jumbled up together. The problem, she realized, was that she no longer knew what she wanted. She knew she wanted to be back in an emergency room, but she didn't know how or where. That it might not be in Springfield was something she hadn't considered.

So she put the dish down and changed into shorts and a T-shirt. Nothing felt as good as running on Fiddler's Beach when her mind got working overtime. Maybe then she would have a few answers. And her appetite back.

 

C
HAPTER
19

Breezes was doing a bustling business the next morning. Lizzie'd slept poorly and then missed her alarm, and now she was late. Ian was waiting at a table when she walked in, and she smiled and asked Linda for a coffee refill on the way by the counter, giving the waitress her stainless travel mug. Ian, as usual, was dressed impeccably, in entirely appropriate business casual, his pants precisely creased and his shirt without a single wrinkle.

“Sorry I'm late,” Lizzie said, sitting across from him. “Did you find a place all right?”

He nodded, his finger hooked through the handle of his coffee mug. “The inn is surprisingly nice,” he offered. “I got the last room, and it was a little small, but the bed was comfortable and it's very quaint.”

The backhanded compliment irked her. “I'm glad it met with your approval,” she replied, relieved when Linda arrived with her coffee and a pair of menus.

“Here you go, Doc,” Linda said, putting down the mug. “You want me to bring a carafe over and leave it?”

“That'd be great, Linda, thanks.” Lizzie smiled at Ian. “I'm afraid my love of caffeine is a matter of public record now.”

Ian's smile was small and he looked at the single-page breakfast menu. “Do you eat here often?” he asked.

She shrugged. “Well, there's here, the Italian place, and the Rusty Fern, which is the local pub. The clinic's only a hop, skip, and a jump away, so the caf
é
is perfect for a quick bite.”