Summer Secrets (42 page)

Weren’t those the very same words he’d told her when the pain of labor had grown too much to bear? When she hadn’t thought she could go on? He’d held her hand the morning Amelia had been born. He’d cut the umbilical cord and held his grandchild in his arms. There had been something in his eyes that morning, something that looked like love, but still he’d taken them both to the hospital and given away her child. She’d hated him for it. But she’d loved him, too, because he’d taken care of her after that, and he’d told her how proud he was of her, how strong she had been. For the first time in a long time, she’d felt worthy of his love.

She didn’t really know how they had sailed that last leg. She had been weak and hurting. Kate had been grieving. Ashley had been traumatized. But somehow they had pulled through for this man -- this man who wouldn’t let them quit, who aroused so many mixed emotions in their hearts.

Her father’s breathing caught, changed, and then he turned over on his back. His eyes opened as he awoke. “Where? Where am I?” he asked in a thick, slow voice.

“You’re at Kate’s house.” Caroline pulled her chair closer to the bed. “I’m here if you need anything.”

“Where’s Kate?”

Caroline should have figured that would be his first question. “Kate is sleeping with Tyler at his hotel, I imagine. Any other questions?” She supposed she could have sugarcoated it, but why bother? They’d told too many lies already.

Duncan sighed wearily. “She’s angry with me, isn’t she?”

“For almost killing her second love? Yeah, I’d say she’s angry. By the way, Ashley and I aren’t too happy about what happened, either. Not that you care.”

He turned his head to look at her, and for a long moment he didn’t say anything. The silence almost undid her. It made her want to jump into speech, offer an apology for whatever needed to be apologized for so he wouldn’t be angry. But she forced herself not to speak, not to give in. She wasn’t in the wrong. He was.

“I didn’t set out to hurt anyone,” he said.

“You never do, but somehow people always seem to get hurt.”

“You most of all.”

“Yes,” she agreed. “The worst time was when you took my baby out of my arms and gave her away to that doctor. You ripped my heart in two that day. I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel whole again.”

“Hardest thing I ever did. I should have let you keep her. Nora must have turned over in her grave when she saw me give our grandchild away.” He shook his head. “But I was barely keeping us afloat. I didn’t think we could manage a baby, too. And you were just a kid yourself.”

“It wasn’t about that. It was about the race. You didn’t want to stop, and if I’d kept the baby, we would have had to stop. It took me a long time to realize that was the real reason I had to give her up.” She paused. “It’s over. Tyler knows everything, and Sean, too. By morning the rest of the world will be talking.”

“You all should have let me drown out there tonight.”

“That would have been too easy,” she said sharply.

His gaze flew to hers. “Now, you listen, young lady --“

“No, you’re going to listen to me for a change. You made some huge mistakes in your life, and it looks like you’ll have to pay for some of them, just like I’ve had to pay for giving up my child, and Kate for losing Jeremy, and Ashley for having to lie to Sean. You don’t get to drink yourself into oblivion anymore. You have to face the consequences of what happened. Maybe that means we give back the trophy and pay back the money. Hopefully, that’s all it means. But we need to move on, and we can’t be worrying about you every second, especially Kate. She’s in love with Tyler, and she deserves a chance to start over. So you’re going to have to pull yourself together and fast.” She looked him straight in the eye. “We need a father, and you’re it. Starting tomorrow, you’re going to start acting like a father.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“You can and you will. But tonight you get to sleep.”

Caroline smiled as her father’s eyes drifted shut. He probably wouldn’t remember their conversation, but she would. She’d meant every word -- words she should have said a long time ago. Now the dam had burst. Little did her sisters and father know that from here on out, she probably wouldn’t shut up.

No more going along with the family. She was standing up for herself. She would stop drinking, keep working, and find a way to be proud of herself and hope that someday her daughter, Amelia, might be proud of her, too.

Ashley walked down the damp, dark streets of Castleton wondering if this would be the last time she spoke to Sean, or if she would even have the chance to speak to him. Would he send her away without a word? Would there be only anger and hatred in his eyes? She deserved nothing more than that. She just wanted a chance to say she was sorry.

Doubting that he would have gone home to his parents’ house just yet, she went back to the marina, hoping he’d be on the boat. He would need time to think about how to tell his parents what had really happened to Jeremy. Besides that, it was past midnight; his mom and dad were probably asleep.

As she walked down the dock, she thought how odd it was that everything was quiet now. No more wind, no more rain. The storm had passed. Just like that.

Ashley climbed onto the Ambersons’ motorboat without a second thought for the water below. That fear had been well and truly vanquished. She realized now that it was never really the water she’d been afraid of, but all the things buried beneath it, like Jeremy’s death and Caroline’s baby, her father’s lies, their cover-up. She’d been terrified all the secrets would come up and hurt them all, so she’d stayed away from the water. Now the secrets were out, and the water was just water.

She walked down the stairs to the cabin and found Sean sitting on the couch, a bottle of beer in one hand. He’d changed into an old sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. But it was his face that had changed the most. There were new lines in his forehead, new shadows under his eyes, and a new hardness in his gaze.

“Can I come in?” she asked.

“Looks like you’re already in.” He took a swig of his beer.

She sat down on the edge of the couch, careful to keep some space between them. “I wanted to tell you I was sorry.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a little late, isn’t it?”

“Yes. But I still mean it.” She paused, not sure what to say now that she had a chance to say it. “Jeremy --“

“I don’t want to hear any more lies about Jeremy,” he said sharply.

“What about some truths?” she challenged. When he didn’t reply, she continued, “Jeremy spent the last day of his life doing what he’d always done, taking care of Kate and her family.”

“He shouldn’t have been with you.”

“I know, but he was. He was with the woman he loved, Sean. Those days before the storm hit were good ones for both of them. They were finally together. They’d wanted to be together for so long. I’m glad they had that time. And I think Jeremy was, too.”

“He shouldn’t have died.”

“You’re right. He shouldn’t have died. He didn’t deserve to die that night. But it was an accident.”

“Your father pushed him”

“Not overboard. They were arguing, yes. And my father shoved Jeremy, but Jeremy hit his head, and the storm did the rest. The water crashing over the boat is what swept Jeremy over the side.” She paused, taking a breath as she forced herself to relive that night. “I saw Kate jump into the water after your brother. And I helped my father try to rescue them both. I wish I could have done more. You don’t know how much I wish that. I’ve blamed myself for not trying to get Jeremy while Dad was getting Kate, or not being able to spot Jeremy in the water. If only I’d done something differently, maybe the result wouldn’t have been the same. Kate feels the same way, and I suspect my father does, too.”

“Your father hated Jeremy.”

“My father and Jeremy were a lot alike. They lived for the sea. They butted heads because they both cared deeply about what they were doing. Sailing and racing was as much a part of Jeremy as it was a part of my father.”

“He still shouldn’t have died,” Sean repeated with a hitch in his voice. He rubbed a hand across his eyes. “He was so young. He had his whole life ahead of him. And he lost it for what? A stupid sailboat race.”

“He didn’t think it was stupid. He thought it was the most exciting thing he’d ever done in his life and the most exciting thing he might ever do. We spent a lot of time together at the various ports along the way. Jeremy loved what he was doing. If you don’t believe anything else, I hope you’ll believe that. He also loved you very much. He talked about you all the time to me. He knew I was missing you.” She stumbled over the words as emotions swamped her. “I loved you so much, Sean. The only reason I broke up with you was because I couldn’t stand to lie to you. I knew eventually we would come to this point, when you would look at me and know the truth, and you would hate me. It was inevitable.”

She paused, wishing he’d say something, but he was staring at his bottle of beer. “Anyway, I just wanted to say I was sorry. I still love you, Sean, but I’m going to leave the island. I’m going away, so you don’t have to look at me every day or, worse yet, try to avoid me. I want you to be happy. I really want that.” She got to her feet, but he reached out and caught her hand in his. She looked into his eyes and saw what looked like forgiveness and so much more.

“Don’t go,” he said, pulling her back down on the couch. “Don’t ever go.” And his mouth covered hers before she could tell him that the last thing she wanted to do was leave …

Kate rolled onto her side and ran her hand down the center of Tyler’s chest. His eyes were closed, but she knew he wasn’t sleeping. He’d already tensed with the slightest brush of her fingers against his skin. They’d made love twice already, but it wasn’t enough. She wanted to feel him inside her again, filling all the empty spaces in her heart and her soul.

“You’re living dangerously, Kate,” he murmured.

“You may not know this about me, but there was a time when I liked to live dangerously, and I’m beginning to want to do it again.” She lifted her head and smiled as he opened first one eye then the other.

“How dangerous are we talking?”

“Really dangerous.” She hesitated, not sure he was as ready as she was to talk about the future. “But we can discuss that later.”

“Why wait?” he asked. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Maybe not today,” she said slowly, “but I suspect soon.” She put her head on his chest and closed her eyes, listening to his heart beat steadily beneath her ear. She wished she hadn’t said anything. She could feel the tension in his body now, tension she’d created by wanting to talk about the future.

He gently stroked her hair. “Kate?”

“What?”

“I don’t know the best way to work things out between us. But I do know that I want to make it work, more than anything.”

She lifted her head and turned over on her stomach so she could look him straight in the eye. “I want that, too. I love you.”

“I love you back,” he said with a gaze so tender, so full of promise, she felt tears in her eyes.

“Wherever you want to live,” she said, “I’ll go with you. I want you to know that.”

“You’d give up this island, your garden, your little house in the hills? You’d give that up for me?”

She didn’t answer right away, because she wanted him to know that she was taking this question seriously, that her answer mattered and meant something. She saw his eyes darken with uncertainty. “Yes, I would,” she said finally. “I’d give up everything for you. I would have jumped in the water for you tonight, if I’d needed to. I don’t want to lose you. If my grip gets too tight, you’ll have to let me know.”

“I’ll be holding on to you just as tightly, Kate.” He put his hand behind her head and pulled her close for a kiss. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m not going to ask you to give up anything for me. We’ll find a way to work it out.” He kissed her again, then set her aside.

“Hey, that wasn’t enough,” she complained.

He smiled as he reached for his cell phone on the bedside table. “There’s one call I need to make.”

“To your brother?”

“Yes, I need to let him know that Caroline is no threat to Amelia. He’ll be very relieved.”

Kate frowned. “How do you think he’ll feel about you being involved with the sister of Amelia’s birth mother? That could be complicated.”

“He’ll deal with it, just as Caroline will. I think Amelia is a lucky little girl to have so many people love her. And hopefully one day she can know the true circumstances of her birth. I think it’s important, and I hope Mark will realize it, too. Amelia should know her biological family.”

“Even my father?”

Tyler groaned. “Well … maybe not my first choice, but he is your father. However, I will never sail with that man again. In fact, I may never sail again.”

“Fine by me.” Kate sat up in bed, wrapping the sheet around her bare body. “Before you make that call, there’s something else I wanted to talk to you about.”

“What’s that?”

“I’ve been thinking, and this will sound crazy, but I want to race in the Castleton on Saturday and try to win back the Moon Dancer.” Her words came out in a rush, and she waited for him to say she was a fool, it was a ridiculous idea. But he didn’t say anything, he just smiled at her.

“I think that sounds like a terrific idea.”

“Really?”

“It’s the last bit of unfinished business, isn’t it?”

“As long as K.C. has our boat, he’ll always be in our lives. I want him out. I want all of the past to be over with.” She sighed. “Now I just have to convince Caroline and Ashley to sail with me.”

“All for one, one for all.” Caroline held out her hands to Kate and Ashley as they stood on the dock in front of the Summer Seas, the boat they would race against the Moon Dancer in just a few minutes. Rick Beardsley had agreed to let them participate in the race around the island with a few of his crew, who would then take the boat on to San Francisco and eventually to Hawaii.

Kate had persuaded her father to sit the race out. Yesterday she’d notified the race officials from the Winston Around-the-World Challenge of the true events of eight years ago. There would be an investigation and probably some type of recompense to be made in terms of the prize money they’d already spent. Kate had no idea where they’d get the money to pay it back or whether her father would suffer any further penalties, but it didn’t matter. It was a relief to have it all out in the open.