SummerHill Secrets, Volume 2 (54 page)

Rachel and Matthew Yoder were following the traditional Amish courting rituals. I was pretty sure they’d marry within a year of this coming November, during wedding season. Levi and Martha Martin were probably headed in the same matrimonial direction.

Stars were beginning to appear, one at a time, like city lights. Cicadas and crickets began singing their night songs, calling back and forth. First in one clump of bushes, then another group joined in, until an entire choir of nighttime insects’ sounds mingled with the dark blue dusk.

Would I be sitting here if Faithie were alive tonight?
I asked myself.
Would I be contemplating my future?

I pictured the two of us sitting on the steps, pointing out one star after another, maybe even spotting a planet or two. She would be wearing different pajamas than mine, though. Even as a little girl, she’d had strong opinions about our not looking exactly alike—doing our hair different, wearing distinct outfits. I was pretty sure, though, that we’d be barefoot if we were here together. Letting the cool green grass tickle our feet was something we always liked to do in the evening hours when the day was dying down. And she would’ve liked cuddling up with the cats. As for her taking in strays, I doubt it.

If Faithie had continued as she was—much more like Mom—she probably would’ve shied away from having so many pets. She might’ve turned out to be intolerant toward my cats, the way Mom often was. Then again, maybe I wouldn’t have needed so many cats, or any at all, if Faithie had lived.

“Oh, Lord, I wish I could get past the hurdle of my sister’s death. It’s like a shadow shrouding the gateway to my future.”

I thought of Jingle Belle, how she would only take her milk when I held the nursing bottle. What did it mean? Could she sense my great personal loss?

Sitting outside under the vast sky, it was easy to feel sorry for myself, being the surviving twin. I often wondered why God hadn’t let Faithie live instead of me. Why
not
her? Was it because she was born first—twenty minutes before me? She always had to be the first to show Mom and Dad her report card, first to wrap her Christmas presents, and first in most any footrace. Did she have to outdistance me and beat me to heaven, too?

I leaned back on my elbows, staring hard at the sky. It was turning slate gray, and the stars seemed brighter than before. In the stillness, I wondered what the insects were saying to each other. Were they calling back and forth, “We can sing louder than you”? “No,
we
can…we can…” Were they debating the time of tomorrow’s sunrise?

Sighing, I listened till the choristers blended into one clamorous cadenza. The half moon surprised me when it appeared, floating up over the trees, its light clinging to the east side of the gazebo. A lonely owl hooted into the chaos of the night chorus, and I felt a slight chill.

One thing I knew for sure: Rachel’s lamb had stirred up everything about Faithie’s death. Jingle and I had connected somehow. We were linked with a common cord. And God had answered my prayer for the sick baby animal.

I sighed, looking down as I felt two furry bodies pushing into my lap. Just as I thought, Abednego and Lily White had made their presence known. They didn’t want to miss out on getting attention.

“Where have you been?” I asked, petting them both. “Did you think I’d gone and left you?”

Mew
. Abednego had the audacity!

“Don’t you know I’d never do that,” I insisted. “You can count on me!”

“I will not leave you comfortless…”
The verse in John’s gospel popped into my mind. It had been one of the Scripture readings at Faithie’s funeral. Our pastor had said God would never abandon us in our sorrow. He would take care of us in our loneliness, in our sadness.

“God cares more about me than I care for my cats,” I said aloud, surprising myself.

God cares
…

I stayed outside another fifteen minutes or so, letting the truth sink in. The insects had calmed down. I hadn’t been aware of the silence until now. No more competitive chirping and singing back and forth between bushes.

The moon’s light had shifted. Now it lay across the back steps, where I was surrounded by cats. The beauty of the night and the stillness made me feel like crying. The tears came for all the days and nights I had missed Faithie. All the life experiences we might’ve shared together.

I wiped my nose on the hem of my pajama top, something my twin would
never
have done. Realizing that, I began to snicker.

Getting up, I opened the door and headed back into the house. Without saying good-night to either of my parents, I made a beeline to my room and fell on my knees beside my bed.

Would God answer my prayer and lift my burden? Was it too much to ask?

I should’ve known Mom would have a hefty breakfast spread out when I came downstairs. Several days had passed since she’d last made waffles. Scrambled eggs, bacon, and jelly toast were her usual fare, even when things were rushed. But today it was the works, and I reminded her that it was only Thursday. “Not Saturday brunch.”

“It’s your next-to-last week of school before summer vacation,” she said, which made absolutely no sense to me. “You need a good breakfast to keep you going.”

“I don’t get it, Mom. You don’t have to knock yourself out making all this food. It’s just breakfast, for pete’s sake.”

She ignored my comments and set about pouring orange juice in her best juice glasses. “Your father and I are going to Bird-in-Hand to talk to a Mennonite antique dealer today.”

“Have fun,” I said offhandedly.

Mom must’ve picked up on the tone of my remark. She turned, and then I noticed she was still wearing her bathrobe. “What’s the matter, Merry?” she asked.

Since Mom hardly ever wore her bathrobe downstairs, I guess I might’ve been staring at her. “What…what did you say?”

“The antique business,” she stated. “You seem opposed to the idea.”

“Oh, I don’t really care,” I answered, wondering how I should proceed. “I guess it’s not the coolest thing, dealing in ancient history. That’s all.”

Mom sat across the table from me. Her face was crestfallen. “Merry, honey, I’d like to say something.”

I nodded, feeling lousy now. Dad had asked me to please reach out to Mom, not alienate her with flippant remarks.

She sighed audibly. “You may not realize this, but I happen to like the idea of selling antiques. It’s one of my goals…something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time.”

“Since Skip went to college?” I asked, hoping it was the right thing to say.

“Long before that,” she replied, pushing her hair behind her ear. “I’d say I’ve wanted to do the antique thing ever since you and Faithie were born.”

Faithie
…

So I was right.

“Authentic antiques have a unique quality.” She paused, smiling faintly. “I feel renewed when I’m surrounded by the past.”

“Old things won’t bring Faithie back,” I said softly.

Her eyes widened, her forehead creased into a deep frown. “Excuse me?”

I shook my head. “Oh nothing.”

“No…you said something quite startling, Merry. I think we should talk about this.”

Glancing at my watch, I saw that we didn’t have time for a knockdown, drag-out conversation. Unfortunately, I had a desperate feeling that’s what it might turn out to be. “Can it wait till after school?”

We both heard Dad’s footsteps at the same time. “Perhaps,” she said, sounding worse than forlorn. She was heartbroken. Thanks to me.

Once again, I’d made a fatal error. First Jon, then Chelsea, and now Mom. “I’m sorry,” I managed to say before Dad came in and sat down. He reached for the newspaper and opened it, which was a good thing. For now, he wouldn’t see the sadness in Mom’s eyes.

I, on the other hand, observed her grief all too well.

To top things off, Chelsea was sitting next to Jon when I boarded the bus. They were having a lively conversation, so I walked past them and sat farther back, where I could observe them in private. I had no idea what was going on. But Chelsea was up to something—I could count on it!

Several times during the ride to school, Jon glanced back at me. I managed to divert my eyes so that he wouldn’t think I was watching them. It had nothing to do with jealousy because I knew Chelsea had no interest in Jon Klein. And even if she had, I knew perfectly well how Jon felt about me. He and I had been good friends since elementary school, and only recently had we decided to go out.

Chelsea actually waited for me to get off the bus. “Can we talk now?”
She
was asking me! She fell into step with me, and I kept my eye on Jon as he hurried into the school ahead of us. “I’ll be straight with you, Merry,” she began.

“What?”

“You’ve got plenty of competition, in case you don’t know.”

“What’re you talking about?” I said.

“Jon wants to know why you stood him up for the hike.”

I felt the same resentment as yesterday when she accused me of the same thing. “I told you, I didn’t stand him up.”

She waved her hand. “Call it what you like. Truth is, you’ve been ignoring him.”

“Why should
you
care?”

“Jonathan’s my friend,” she replied. “I’m not going to stand by and watch you hurt him.”

I had no idea where she was going with this. “Jon and I will work it out,” I told her. “Stay out of it.”

She gave me a severe frown and flounced off.

Immediately, I headed for Jon’s locker. Before I could think twice and chicken out, I walked right up to him and said, “I don’t think it’s fair what you’re saying about me.”

He turned to look at me, his brown eyes thoughtful. His shirt was a soft yellow, which brought out the gold flecks in his eyes, and his gorgeous brown hair shone. “I really just want us to get along, Merry.”

“How is that possible with you spreading things around behind my back?”

“I don’t want anyone else getting in the way,” Jon answered.

“Who’re you talking about?” I said right out. “Is there someone you’d rather ask out? Is that it?”

He was shaking his head. “No, I hope
you’ll
spend time with me, Merry.”

I knew I had to set the record straight. He suspected Levi and I were getting too friendly. “You don’t have to second-guess me, Jon. If you want to know why I’ve been spending so much time at Zooks’, it’s because of an orphan lamb.”

His eyes softened. “A lamb?”

“That’s right, and her name is Jingle Belle. She was desperate—dying—for a name, among other things….”

By the time the homeroom bell rang, I’d told him the entire sad story. How Jingle needed me, how she wouldn’t eat much for anyone else. How she was mourning her family.

“This is incredible,” he said. “Why didn’t you tell me Monday?”

“I should’ve…I know.”

He reached for my hand and held it. “Oh, Merry, forgive me?”

My heart nearly flipped out of my chest as he continued to hold my hand there in the hallway as the entire population of James Buchanan High filed by. “I’m sorry, too.”

On my way to homeroom, I wondered how I could smooth things over with both Mom and Chelsea. I would definitely try. Still, I couldn’t help but think Chelsea had meant to interfere. I was going to find out the truth. At lunch!

I would give it my best shot with my outspoken girl friend. Chelsea was a new Christian, so I knew I must be very understanding toward her. I would close my mouth and open my ears—hear her out completely.

Searching the cafeteria, I saw her sitting alone. “Thank goodness, I found you,” I said, nearly breathless as I scooted in next to her.

She kept chewing her sandwich, glancing at me out of the corner of her eyes.

“I don’t know why you were so upset about the hike thing…and Jon and me,” I began. “But it’s okay now, he and I are cool. We talked.”

She turned toward me. “It’s just that I know how crazy you were over him for such a long time. I couldn’t stand by and let the two of you self-destruct.” She went on to say that there were other girls in the youth group at church. “They’ve got their eyes on Jon.”

“Plenty of girls do. I’m not stupid.”

Chelsea nodded. “He’s always been so ‘out there’—on another planet somewhere—when it came to the opposite sex. I honestly thought he’d never figure out the girl-boy thing. But now with you and him together…well, it’s almost too good to be true.”