Sun Damage (The Sunshine Series) (31 page)

Morning comes to me slowly, like I’m sinking in a pile of soft, warm sand. Everything behind my eyelids spins and then stops, tilts and then becomes stable. I want to wake up but I don’t. I want to stay in this place, between consciousness and unconsciousness forever. Gradually, reality snakes around me. The smooth comforter touching my bare shoulders, the smell of blood mixed with something clean like soap or detergent, the solidness of someone sleeping next to me. When my eyes open, the sun is shining through the window above the bed, hitting me square in the chest.

I scramble to cover myself with the blankets, and roll over so the rectangular beam of light won
’t burn my skin. Myles is next to me, wrapping an arm around my back, holding me still. The light is now on my shoulder, warm. At any moment, the heat could turn into a burn, then a blister. I really can’t afford to have a sun related issue right now on top of everything else.

“
Get off.” My voice is raw, but I barely hear it over the pounding of my pulse in my temples. I try pushing him away but he doesn’t move, which means I can’t either.

“
Sophie, stop,” he says. “It’s not hurting you.” He kisses my forehead like it will calm me down.

“
Not yet,” I say, grabbing hold of the arm he has draped over my shoulders and neck, locking me in place.

“
No,” he says. “I’ve been watching for a few minutes, waiting for you to wake up.”

“
You just
watched
? What are you waiting for, the red splotches to start forming or the fever?”

“
Sophie,” he repeats my name and it’s hard to ignore the warm shiver it sends through me. “I don’t think the sun can hurt you anymore.”

That makes me stop.
“What?”

He loosens his grip so he can place a hand on my clavicle, where the sun was before.
“It’s not burning you,” he says, moving his fingers to my shoulder, where the light is now.

I touch it too. It doesn
’t hurt. It doesn’t even feel especially hot. It’s just a dull, warm temperature.

“
Does that mean...”

I can feel his lips against the back of my neck
and they smile. “I think you’ve finally grown out of it,” he says. “Having blood in your system probably enhances your vampire abilities. One of them being how human illnesses won’t bother you anymore.”

I laugh.
“All this time covering up and dodging sunlight and all I had to do was become a vampire to get rid of it.”

We both laugh a little,
then we’re silent, watching the square sliver of sun play on my skin.

“
How are you feeling?” he asks after a while.

I
’m not sure if he’s asking how I feel physically or if he’s talking about our relationship and where we stand, or what happened between us last night, after our clothing was lost, after we lost ourselves.

“
I feel...” I’m not quite sure how to word it. “Pretty amazing,” is what I settle on, though it doesn’t encompass everything. There isn’t one single word that can do that.

He pulls me closer to him and the covers fold between us, separating our bodies. He throws an arm around me, underneath everything, skin to skin, and all I want to do is melt into his
touch. Colors play at the back of my eyelids but this time, I’m not afraid of them. Blues, pinks, and yellows shimmer together and come apart, swirling like an oil spill.

“
I’m sorry about the painting,” I say into the sheets.

Myles only brings me closer.
“I’ll make you a new one,” he says. “A better one.”

He kisses me behind the ear, sending heat through my face and neck. For a moment, I think about bringing up everything that brought us to this point. How scared I am of everything.

But he rolls over so his face is just above mine and he kisses me again, the sunlight playing on our skin. “I love you,” he whispers before kissing my cheek.

“
I love you too,” I say.

I know what waits outside of this room, outside of these blankets, where things are more complicated and scary than two people forever entwined. I know that once we get up, once we part, everything will speed up again.
That I might not even be able to experience this again with him.

So when he kisses me, his warm breath on my mouth, I let him. I sink, unconcerned about trying to stay afloat. When his tongue gently slips over mine, asking for more, I give it to him. When my hands trail up his back and around his shoulders, pleading with him, begging for just a few more precious moments of calm, he lets me have them. The thin barrier between us slips away so our bodies can touch, unafraid, beneath the hotel sheets.

When we
’ve woken up for the second time that morning, I ask, “What time is it?”

Myles is busy playing with my hair, gathering it together and letting it gently fall on my neck and shoulders, sending goose bumps up my arms and back. My head is resting on his chest, and it rises and falls with each breath he takes in and lets out. If I watch closely enough, I can tell that he forgets sometimes. Once every so often, his chest stays still for too long, he doesn
’t take in or let out air. I know this is something that his body must do on auto pilot by now, but if he were in front of anyone else besides me, he wouldn’t forget. He doesn’t have to be as careful with me. He can be himself, completely, the way he lets me be the person I hide from everyone else.

“
Ten,” he says after too much time has passed.

“
The bus is leaving at eleven,” I say, remembering the number written somewhere on the agenda I got at the beginning of tour. I must have only glanced at it a few times before it got lost in my suitcase, but I can picture it in my mind as if it were in front of me.

“
Where are you playing tonight?”

I shrug.
“A place called Al’s. It’s a small bar in Buffalo.” My hand finds his, squeezes it, trying to hang on to the calmness that can and will dissolve at any moment. “It’s our last show,” I say, realizing how close we are to home. Seven hours tops.

“
And what time do you leave tomorrow?” he asks, his free hand trailing up my spine, tracing my wings without even looking at them. He knows every part of me. Inside and out.

“
I think they’re planning on like, six in the morning,” I say, closing my eyes. “But we’ll probably be out until three.”

“
When you find out, let me know,” Myles says. “So I can follow you.”

“
Or,” I say, pressing myself into him more. If I’m not careful, things could get carried away. My fangs could pop out, our clothes may never find their ways back to our bodies. “You could just come on the bus with me. There’s an extra bunk.” I kiss his cheek. “Or we could share mine if you want.”

He smiles.
“Are you sure about that?” he asks. “It could get kind of cramped in there.”

I kiss him again, li
ghtly. I can tell he wants more but I pull away. We don’t have time to get lost right now. “That’s fine with me.”

His hands trail up and down my back slowly. If he doesn
’t stop, I can’t be responsible for what happens.

“
Me too,” he says.

“
Good.”

“
Your brother won’t like that.”

I shrug.
“I know.”

“
So maybe it’s not a good idea?”

I pretend to think about it, but I don
’t have to. “I don’t care,” I admit. “I know he just wants to protect me, but he wants me to be happy too. He’ll get over it.”

He smiles a little
but I can’t be sure that I’ve convinced him of anything.

“
So...” I say, “We should maybe get dressed?”

He sighs.
“Do we have to?”

I laugh and it sounds more like a giggle. If I was with anyone else, I
’d want to punch myself in the face for it. But this is Myles. He’s seen me. All of me. I don’t care if I act like a giggling little girl when we’re alone.

“
I mean, it’s up to you,” I say. “But I feel like you might make the other people on the bus a little uncomfortable.”

“
We wouldn’t want that,” he says.

But neither of us moves yet
.

We meet Boo and Trei in the hotel lobby first, my brother nowhere in sight. “Look who I found,” I say before they have a chance to mention the person standing next to me, holding my hand. As long as we’re touching, I don’t have to think about how messed up everything is right now. I don’t have to worry about anything besides us.

“
Hey!” They say in unison, scooping Myles into hugs as I refuse to let go of him.

“
Hi, guys,” he says casually.

“
We thought you were busy,” Trei says.

Myles shrugs.
“I was,” he says. “But I found some time and I missed you guys.”

“
Aww,” Boo says. “Isn’t he cute?”

“
Well you made it in time for our last show at least,” Trei says.

I adjust my sunglasses on the bridge of my nose. Myles and I both decided it would be best to
keep up the sun allergy routine, just because it’s easier than trying to come up with a human reason why something I had since I was little just disappeared this morning. “Where’s everyone else?” I ask.

“
Honus is already on the bus,” Boo says, “But they’re getting directions from the bar owner right now, so we have time.”

“
Where’s Jade?” I ask, almost scared to know the answer.

Trei and Boo look at each other before they look back at me. I can hear what they’re going to say before they even open their mouths
.

Boo:
I thought she would know

Trei:
I thought he was with Sophie. Weren’t they sharing a room?

That’s new. Myles’ blood must be doing something for my vampire abilities.

“You don’t know?” Trei asks.

“
Maybe he’s still sleeping?” I suggest. “He didn’t really feel that good yesterday.”

Trei nods and Boo says,
“Think you can go get him? I don’t think we can be late to this thing.”

I take one look at Myles’ hand in mine before my eyes travel up to his. A half-moon shape appears in the corner of his mouth.
“Go ahead,” he says. “I’ll wait here.”

He hugs me and kisses
me on the cheek.
I have to get my backpack anyway
. I direct at him without much effort.

I’ll be here.

It seems to take me so long to detach myself from him. Eventually my fingers loosen, feeling so cold with my hand at my side that I have to wrap my arms around myself.

I take the elevator to our floor, knocking a few times when
I get to the door, but I don’t get a response. “Jade?” I ask. “It’s me.”

I try the handle, growing more and more panicked, scared that something has happened to him, that Michael has finally found us and he’s chosen Jade this time.
The metal is warm in my hand, and I realize that it wouldn’t take much for me to break it. However, I find that when I concentrate more, I can look just beyond the door, to the other side, where the screws keep the handle in place. I imagine them coming off, falling gently to the ground. I can also hear breathing on the other side of the door and it puts me at ease but doesn’t make me any less urgent.

I lean down on the handle now, and it comes off in my hand. The door silently opens after that, and I look around for witnesses, my pulse poun
ding in my throat. The only people around are down the hall, talking too loudly to each other to hear anything else.
I quickly replace the doorknob and screws, shutting the door behind me as soon as I’m done.

Jade is sitting in the chair at the table, leaning his head against his hand, staring at the floor. His bag is resting at
his feet, right next to mine.

“
Jade?” I ask, afraid to stay by the door, but afraid to move closer. “What are you doing? The bus is almost ready to leave.”

He doesn’t look up at me.
“I know,” he says. “I was ready to leave, and I got everything together and then…” He shifts in the chair, finally looking at me. His eyes are rimmed in red. It looks like he spent more time crying than sleeping. “But then I started thinking.”

I place
my palms flat against the door.

“
Thoughts are hard to get around these days, you know?”

I nod.
“I know.”

He gulps
. “And then, as soon as I’m done thinking through one thing, like Stevie being gone, there’s something else staring me in the face. Like how he’s been visiting me this entire time.”