Sunburst (Starbright Series) (29 page)

             
I reached up and allowed my hands to feel him like this, like I had always wanted to. This wasn’t a friendly hand hold or an innocent hug. This was the culmination of a lifetime of feelings for each other we had always denied ourselves, always ignored in the shadow of a fate I never really wanted until recently. His chest was hot and hard under my fingers, even through his layers of nice clothing I could feel the defined muscle that made him up.

             
I slid my hands slowly over him, feeling every inch of his delicious chest and then wrapped them around his neck. His short hair tickled the pads of my fingers, and I allowed myself to caress the back of his head, whimpering as he deepened the kiss.

             
The world- my life, my entire existence- had shrunk into this one moment, into the feel of Tristan’s lips against mine; his body pressed tightly to mine and the steady draw of my heart and hopes for a future that could never be from my soul into his.

             
I would take this moment with me and treasure it forever. It didn’t matter that I was giving him up or that this kiss meant goodbye. A part of me would always love Tristan. But we were a future that could never be. We were a love that couldn’t compete with the depth of feeling I had for Seth standing between us.

             
So even while it was love, it wasn’t enough to sustain the rest of my life. It was real, and honest, but it wasn’t the end-all love I was meant to feel.

             
It wasn’t the love that would get me through the very difficult destiny that laid out before me.

             
I was embarrassed at the two traitorous tears that fell from my eyes, landing hotly on my cheeks and ruining my makeup. Tristan felt them, or sensed them- I wasn’t sure- and immediately kissed them away. And when his lips returned to mine they were salty and wet from the evidence of my heartache.

             
With a last punishing push of exposed emotion, Tristan branded his love against my lips so that I would never forget him. There was a climax to our kiss that screamed our feelings for each other, the fullness of finally tasting each other while the world crumbled around us, and the utter heartbreak that would shatter us when we pulled apart.

             
It was as innocent as it was hungry and passionate. It was as perfect as it was soul-wrenching and torturous. It was as lasting as it was temporary. It was as much a beginning as it was the end.

             
Eventually, Tristan pulled back and I gazed up into the eyes of a man that I believed was the greatest man I knew. The entire reason I fell in love with humanity was because I fell in love with him first.

             
His eyes were dark with a greedy hunger and his lips were swollen and lovely.

             
“I love you, Stella,” he growled while unshed tears shimmered in his forest green eyes.

             
“I love you, too,” I whispered at the same time my heart fell out of my chest and splintered into a million pieces. “I will always love you.”

             
I reached up and cupped his smooth jaw. He leaned into my touch and closed his eyes, depriving me of his consuming gaze. He shuddered under my hand and I immediately went up on my knees and wrapped my arms around him. His arms went around my waist and we held each other like that for as long as we had kissed.

             
The sun set while we stayed like that, the Stars came out and the dark of night enshrouded us. We were living in our own world, existing in a reality that only included us. But there wasn’t a moment that ticked by when we didn’t realize we would have to come back, when we weren’t severely aware that in only a few more moments we would have to give each other up.

             
He pulled away first, looking up at me with a resigned pain that cut me quickly to the core. “We missed our dinner reservations.”

             
I laughed with a release of adrenaline and emotion. “I’m not hungry anyway.” I sat back down and leaned into him.

             
“Let’s go to the dance,” Tristan suggested.

             
“Yeah? You still want to go?” My voice was a shallow shell of my crushed soul.

             
More confidently and sounding more like himself he said, “Yeah, I do. I want this night.”

             
I pulled back and smiled. I couldn’t help it. I wanted this night too. “K.”

             
“K.” he echoed.

             
He hopped off the truck and turned around to help me down. Lifting me from the waist, he set me back on the solid ground but didn’t let go. “Remember me, Stella.”

             
“Always,” I swore. “I will
always
have this.”

             
He pressed another gentle, claiming kiss to my lips. I breathed him in one last time and let myself get swept away by feelings for a boy that could never be. He would always be my first love.

             
He just couldn’t be my last.

             
He helped me into the cab of his truck and then grabbed the blanket and closed the truck gate. Before I knew it we were back on the main highway and headed toward school and the prom.

             
Prom was supposed to be this major event in my life, in my youth. But it would pale in comparison to these stolen moments with Tristan. And I had to wonder if the rest of my human moments would all shrink in the shadow of the greatness of that kiss, in the culmination of a love that would only fade after today.

             
There was so much joy and fulfillment in finally being open with Tristan, in
finally
taking our relationship to where it always wanted to go. But there was so much heartache that accompanied it.

             
That was it. The grand finale. And every moment after this we were both willingly and openly walking away from each other and the intense feelings that tied us together.

             
And while I was definitely and completely traumatized, I was also already healing. Tristan and I were never meant to be. There was something strong and powerful in giving that up, in fully embracing the life I was supposed to have.

             
Meant to have.

             
The life I now wanted.              

             
Seth.

Chapter Twenty-Three

             
“Dance, bitch!” Piper demanded as she laughed and followed her own command.

             
I grinned like an idiot and obeyed. This really was turning into one of the best nights of my life. Tristan and I had been able to relax after the intense beginning to our night. We’d fallen back into the comfortable, open friendship we always had. Piper and Tristan were even getting along tonight and while we all danced together in the middle of the packed Mead High gym, I was laughing more than I had in weeks.

             
It was good to be surrounded by so many friends. It was nice to relax after weeks of high stress and tension.

             
The song changed to a slower one and Piper grabbed my arm and tugged me toward the punch. She put up a hand to keep the boys from following us and while they obeyed her, they still wandered away from the dance floor.

             
Piper and I stumbled over to the punch on sore feet and chugged one glass and then another.

             
“Have I told you how gorgeous you look tonight?” she laughed breathlessly.

             
“Yes, but only a hundred times already,” I smiled back. “You too, babe.” And she did, in her bubblegum pink feather dress. It had a deep scoop neck that made her boobs look fantastic without being revealing, then the back clasped in a high collar at the nape of her neck and while it was completely covered, it was a sheer netting kind of covering that she was supposed to wear a shawl over- but wasn’t. The bodice was tight, but poofed into a huge skirt covered in pink feathers on top and puffed up with layered black tulle. Her fishnet stockings and black studded chunky four inch heels completed her edginess. She finished her look with big, wavy hair and extra heavy eyeliner.

             
She was gorgeous. And totally herself tonight. I
loved
her look.

             
“Thanks for making up with Tristan,” I called over the music.

             
She rolled her eyes, “It’s a temporary treaty. He asked to have this one good night with you. And if he wasn’t so pathetic I would have been able to hold out.”

             
I shook my head at her. “It’s not what you think, Pi.”

             
“It
is
what I think,” she argued. “He has had feelings for you since forever, Stella. But he’s been too much of a coward to do anything about them. So he’s let you sit there, pining for him for years while he’s dated every other thing that moves and has a vagina. And while he’s off whoring himself out to the entire school, he scares every other prospective boy away from you. You have no idea how frustrating it’s been for me to watch you get your heart broken over and over by him. And then Seth finally comes into the picture- a decent, good, super-hot guy that’s interested in you and not intimidated by Tristan at all.
Then
Tristan decides to go after you. I mean, I know Seth is technically out of the picture now, but Tristan doesn’t just get to have his way whenever he wants it. As far as I’m concerned he lost his chance with you years ago.”

             
I loved my fierce, fighter of a friend. But she had no idea what happened underneath the surface during all those years. She had no idea Tristan was loving me at a distance because I asked him to. And that Seth wasn’t a catalyst to Tristan coming face to face with his feelings, but the final barrier that kept him away. Tristan wasn’t being selfish, he was doing what he had to until he literally couldn’t make himself anymore.

             
Bu now things were how they probably always should have been.

             
“You don’t have to worry anymore, Piper,” I admitted on a weighty breath. “We had a talk tonight. We aren’t, um, we have feelings for each other, but we decided to stay friends.”

             
Her eyes narrowed, “Your idea or his?” God, I loved this girl. Even though she hated Tristan, she would totally kick his ass if he didn’t give me exactly what I wanted.

             
“It was mutual,” I answered sincerely. When she rolled her eyes I laughed, “Seriously, it was completely mutual. We are both…. headed in different directions. And we don’t want to lose the friendship. Tristan will always be my best friend, but he can’t be anything more.”

Her expression immediately softened and she pulled me into a hug. “Is thi
s because of Seth?”
I nodded into her shoulder. “I love him, Pi.”

“I know
, Stel,” she admitted.

“Stella,” Jude’
s voice cut through our moment. Piper and I both whipped around, surprised to

see him here.

              He offered us a weak smile, but then his charcoal eyes met mine and held my gaze. He was dressed in exactly his style, skinny black jeans, his motorcycle boots and a white oxford that was rolled up to his forearms. A black tie was pulled loose around his collar and his hair was actually styled into a messy Mohawk. Or uh, faux-hawk.

             
“You dressed up,” I said dumbly. I didn’t expect to see him here, let alone in something resembling formal attire.

His lips twitched and then quirked into a half smile. “Was that a thinly veiled compliment?”
My eyebrows slammed together and I immediately started sputtering, “Are you kidding?”

“I want to dance,” he interrupted me and his eyes shot to the dance floor.

              Piper snorted into her punch glass. I rolled my eyes and looked around for Tristan. He would come rescue me from the pure evil demon trying to dance with me.

             
The theme for this year’s prom was “Timeless” and the prom committee had actually done a decent job of decorating. It was sort of an ironic theme since time pieces decorated every inch of the room in steam-punkish pocket watches and old clocks. One entire wall was sort of an exploding hour glass with the top corner of the gym wall picturing an hour glass and then the bottom shattering into broken glass looking pieces with glitter- that was supposed to look like sand- covering every inch of the rest of the wall. That’s where the prom pictures were taken when we first walked in the gym.

             
Tristan was standing over there with Rigley and Lincoln, laughing about something and having a good time. I didn’t want to interrupt his night by causing a scene. He could easily swoop in and rescue me, but I wasn’t exactly the kind of girl that needed rescuing.

             
Or I wasn’t supposed to be anyway.

             
“You want to dance with me?” I repeated, meeting Jude’s eyes again.

             
He faked a gasp, “I’d be honored.” His eyes were twinkling when he took my hands and led me out to the dance floor.

             
I shot a pleading look at Piper but she just smiled and waved. She thought this was cute, that Jude was pursuing me or something. If only she knew the truth.

             
“The dress fits,” Jude murmured directly into my ear when we were standing in the middle of the crowd, bodies pressed together, his hands on my hip, mine awkwardly on his shoulders.

             
I guessed that was his way of complimenting me.

             
“It does,” I admitted. “But you already knew that because you already saw me in it.”

             
“I did a very nice job of picking it out,” he chuckled against my skin. His nose skimmed my ear and his hot, minty breath cascaded down my neck.

             
I pushed him back before he got any ideas and gave him a pointed look. “You are an arrogant asshole, you know that?”

             
He smirked at me and brought one hand up so that he could pull on my bottom lip with his thumb and forefinger. “So mouthy,” he whispered.

             
I struggled to swallow. He was making me nervous and mostly because I didn’t understand his plan. I knew he came here for a reason and instinct told me it was more than just to drive me crazy.

             
“What are you doing here, Jude?” I found my voice and feigned confidence.

             
“My job,” he growled. Suddenly his mood was as dark and forbidding as any Fallen I’d come in contact with before. This was not the playful mischief of his normal personality; this was a glimpse at the soulless creature he truly was. “Stella, there is something….” He winced as if in pain and then tried again. “Seth will not live through the night unless you do something.”

             
“What do you mean?” I whispered, the words barely escaping my closed throat.

             
“There are those that want Seth dead. That see him as a threat to their… political aspirations. He’s being set up.”

             
“Tonight?”

             
“Tonight.”

             
“Where’s Aliah? What about the contract?”

             
“Aliah’s…. otherwise engaged.” Jude stopped our innocuous swaying and stepped away from me. His hand lingered on my waist while his other rubbed up and down on his face roughly. “I don’t know where Aliah is truthfully. And I don’t know whether this is one of his schemes or if this is happening without his knowledge. What I do know is that I am bound to you by contract, and your Counterpart is in danger.”

             
I stared at him curiously. I should already be on my way to Seth, but there was something I needed to figure out first. “You’re bound to keep me alive, not to warn me when one of my friends is in trouble.”

             
“He’s more than your friend, is he not?” Jude demanded harshly. “And besides, you’d never forgive me if I allowed this to happen and never told you about it.”

             
I felt myself suck in a sharp breath, but couldn’t hear it over the roaring in my ears. “Forgive you? Since when are you concerned with forgiveness?”

             
“Starling, I am doing you a favor. I didn’t have to come here and I didn’t have to warn you.” He wrenched out of my grip and I realized for the first time I was clutching at his bicep. He stormed off the dance floor and slammed through the side doors that led to the outside.

             
I stood staring after him, completely confused by his behavior. From start to finish, he didn’t make sense. And then slowly his words of warning trickled through my confusion and I realized that Seth was in trouble.

             
I tore off after him. I vaguely heard Tristan call after me, but I was too focused on pushing through the happy crowd and chasing after Jude.

             
I pushed through the same doors he went through and then stood panting in the extra warm evening. I looked around in every direction, but he was gone- vanished. My shoulders slumped and I realized what an idiot I had been. Who cared if Jude was developing non-evil emotions? Who cared if Jude could actually feel things like remorse and concern? If he wanted things like forgiveness? He was absolutely inconsequential when Seth’s life was at stake.

             
The long draw of breath drew my attention and I whirled around to find Jude leaning back against the brick wall of the gymnasium, cigarette wedged in between his pressed lips.

             
“I was being ironic,” he drawled. Another long puff on his cigarette made his words sound like they were being sucked into a vacuum.

             
“Seth isn’t in trouble?”

             
“No, your Warrior is most definitely in trouble.” He shook out his head and looked to the dark horizon. “But I don’t really care what you do about him. Although I would like to be apprised of your decision. Since either way I’ll have to stay with you.”

             
“Either way?” I felt like a puppet just answering questions he was laying out for me.

             
“If you go, I’ll obviously have to accompany you. Whether Aliah is behind this or not, I would really like to live through the night. And if you stay, well, either way, you’ll be next. If Seth falls, they will come for you next.”

             
“They might not,” I argued, even while I knew he was right.

             
“The only reason you’re still alive is because your precious Warrior signed away his soul to keep you that way. If he dies, there’s nothing left to stop others from coming after you. And that’s what they- we all want. We all want you dead.”

             
“Then you should know that I’m going.”

             
“I wouldn’t have expected anything less.” But it sounded like an insult coming from him.

             
I spun around on my bare feet and moved to the door. His hand snapped out and caught my forearm. “Where are you going? I thought we were leaving?”