Sunder (27 page)

Liv

I watched him walk across the grass and past the tree that I had relabeled stalker tree, after him and his creepy red eyes. He made me smile, even then when I had to go and do the worst thing possible.

I grimaced and walked into the room and out into the hallway. My fingers gripped to the railings in protest. They didn't want to do what they had to.

When I got downstairs and entered the kitchen, she was sitting at the table. Her eyes were puffy, red rimmed and still glassy. She held a mug in her hand, tapping her ring against it and staring out the window.

She didn't look like Barbie. She didn’t look badass or perfect. She looked broken. She looked like she knew everything.

I walked in silently, but she still looked up at me. Her lower lip trembled. She started to cry, shaking her head and muttering something I didn't understand. She covered her face, hiding from me. I walked over, feeling the mascara already running down my cheeks.

“I didn't know,” she sobbed. “I didn't know. He used me.”

I looked past her to the back door, jumping slightly when I saw a wolf standing there. He dragged a paw, scratching to come in.

“Is that…?”

“Yup.” She sniffed and looked over at him. “GO AWAY, FRANK!” she shouted and pointed.

The huge grey wolf pawed again and whined, as if he were a lost dog begging to come in.

“How do you know everything?”

She looked back at the
table,
placing the mug down and speaking as though she were reliving the moment she learned it. “Josh. He came this morning. He was worried about you. Said you had lost your memory.”

My brow knit together as I relived my own memory. “I just had to change it up in my head a little. I was given the choice when the curse broke to stay a wolf or to be like Briton. I chose to be like him, just as he chose to be like me. My memories needed a minute. It’s been a rough two weeks.”

She smiled. “He is a wolf and you are now a vampire?”

“And the curse is broken. The bite no longer kills.”

The smile on her face got larger. “So he is a wolf? He’s been a vampire for two thousand years and now he’s a wolf?”

“With five vampire brothers.”

She burst out laughing, clutching her side. I frowned. I saw the humor but missed the hilarity. She was busting a gut, my dad/wolf/traitor was still pawing at the door, and I was lost. She thumped on the table with her fist, tears streaming from her eyes. The laughter turned to crying again. She slumped on the table and cried harder. I glanced at the clock. I was already late for first period. Shit. I didn’t know why I thought I was even going to school. The first two weeks in Wolfville had been insane.

It didn't look like it was improving.

I looked at my dad and slumped with Judith. “What are we doing with him?”

She looked over at him, crying harder.

A knock at the front door interrupted the worst moment of my life. I got up and answered it, hoping it was a small amount of good news.

It wasn't.

It was a man with a dark beard and dark hair to match. He had steely-blue eyes and a stern face. “Is he here?”

I swallowed hard.

“The law is the law.”

I forced myself to see the cruelty of my mother’s fake funeral and the state she was in after years of torture. “He’s in the back, still in wolf form. I don't know if he knows how to change back.” I felt sick saying it, betraying him even after everything he had done to me, and even worse, what he had done to others.

The man nodded but it looked like a bow. I cocked an eyebrow as he turned and walked around the side of the house. My empty chest ached. I hated how sad I was for such a bad person. I ran back to the kitchen and watched as my father turned, snarling. Several men came into the backyard, pointing rifles at him. He bared his teeth, growling and shaking his face in a snarl.

Judith jumped up. I grabbed her and held her to me. A brief thought of defending him fluttered through my head. But Judith’s cries told me to be strong. I needed to hang on to
her
as they got closer to him.

He stopped snarling after a moment and looked back at us. He lowered his head, not running or fighting for his life. He was resigned to die.

The first shot made me jump.

The second made me cry.

The third dropped him to his stomach.

He lay there, trembling but not changing. He stayed in wolf form, dying slowly.
He was bitten
,
he could be killed
. They would burn him to ensure it.

Judith dropped to her knees, dragging me with her. She hugged me and sobbed into my hair. I gripped as hard to her as she did to me. When his chest stopped rising and falling, two of the men came and lifted him, carrying him away. They didn't look at us. They didn't speak to us. The law was the law.

He had taken human life, wolf life, vampire life, and tortured all the above.

He was a criminal and a sadist. He was evil.

But no matter how hard I tried to make that bigger in my head, he was my father in my heart.

I assumed Judith felt the same. She was heaving and gagging, she cried so hard. I lifted her up and carried her to her room. When I laid her down on her bed, she turned away from me and curled into the fetal position.

I didn't take her hint at wanting to be alone. I curled up on the bed behind her and closed my eyes. The image of him being shot and pawing at the door and whining filled my head. I didn't push the thoughts away. I embraced them.

I knew in my heartless chest, I would never forgive him. I would never forget the horrid things he had done or the thing he took away.

But I could let myself have the memories of him that made me happy. He had been my father. He had loved me in his bizarre way.

I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep until I woke to the sound of Judith crying again. I opened my eyes but didn't see her. I got up and went to the kitchen where I found something I didn't expect. My mom and Judith were sitting at the table crying together.

I stopped in the entrance, watching them. My mom turned, giving me a smile. It was a weird smile. It made me uncomfortable. She got up from the table. “Liv, how are you today?”

I shook my head. “Fine, I guess.” It was awkward, as ass.

Judith gave a sideways stare but didn't say anything.

My mom walked to me, reaching for my hands with her still-scabbed fingers. “I wanted to tell you that I’m leaving for a while. I came here to see if you were okay with that.”

I wanted to say no. I wanted to say that I needed her. But I didn't. I nodded. “Of course.” I didn't know the journey that she had been on, but I could imagine the baggage she had to unpack was severe.

Her fingers quaked in my hands. Her lips trembled. “I just feel like I need some separation from everything. Try to find myself again. It’s been so long since I was honest with myself about who I am. I don't even know anymore. I need help getting past the last four years.”

“Where are you going?”

Her lips pressed into a fine line for a moment before she said, “Where I was born, I have family there still.
In Germany, actually.
But I was thinking we could write and get to know each other again, the real us.”

It made me cry when she said that. I was a stranger to my mom and she to me. We had never been who we were in front of each other. From the start, I had lied about myself. I squeezed her hands back. “I hope you can let it all go, I guess.” I didn't know what to say.

Her eyes narrowed a little. “I think the justice that has been served has helped a little. I will email you as soon as I arrive in Germany.”

I swallowed it all down. My father died. I became a monster for the second time. And now my dead mother, who wasn't really dead, was leaving me on her own terms.

I looked past my mom to Judith and smiled. I was going to be fine. There was one person who had seen me through it all. One person I had taken for granted and had rejected, regardless of her many attempts to be my friend.

I hugged my mom and knew that no matter what happened with her and I, she would always be my mom. She kissed my cheek and turned back to Judith. “Thank you, for everything.”

Judith nodded.

Mom squeezed me once more and kissed the side of my head. “My car is waiting. One of my other cousins is bringing me to the airport. I love you, kid.”

I nodded. “Me too. Be safe and write me.”

I walked as she walked to the front door. She turned and waved at us both and left.

I didn't feel sad.
Maybe because I had already been to her funeral.
I had already lost her. I had mourned and healed, and nothing could take away those feelings.

Judith stayed at the table. I turned and looked at her. “I can stay, right?”

She started to cry again. “I’d really like it if you did.”

“Me too.”

She rushed to me, wrapping
herself
around me. She kissed the side of my head. We stayed like that for a while. Then she whispered, “I’m really proud of you. You let her go and you didn't make it about you.”

I closed my eyes. “Thanks.” I didn't tell her that I didn't need my mom as much as I used to. I didn't tell her that
I had such a close second to a real mother
,
it didn't matter
.

Briton crept through the bedroom window, hoping she was asleep. He caught a glimpse of her, mouth breathing on her pillow, and smiled. Slowly crossing the room and dropping articles of clothing, he crawled into her bed with nothing on.

She smiled and moaned. “You smell like the forest.”

“Happy birthday!” he whispered and kissed her face.

She opened an eye, staring him down with it. “You’re not supposed to sleep here anymore. We made a deal.”

He wrapped himself around her, moaning into her hair as he took deep breaths of her. “I missed you. And I wanted to be here when the clock changed and it was your birthday.”

She sighed and let him pull her into him. “You saw me three hours ago at your parents’ house.”

“It feels like a lifetime. Want to go for a run?”

She smiled and nodded against him. “I do.”

He lifted her up into his arms and carried her to her closet. She pulled on sweatpants and a sweater and gave him a devilish look. “Race you!” She breezed past him and leapt off the deck. Her feet were on the pavement when she looked back. He leapt from the deck naked, shifting mid-jump. He truly was meant to be a wolf. The shift was nothing for him. He was a majestic and beautiful creature. His fur was long and shaggy, dark like his hair. His face was strong and his dark-blue eyes glowed. It was a thing of beauty.

She laughed and ran towards the woods.

He caught her in no time. They crossed the field and entered the woods like a twisted version of Little Red Riding Hood. When they were deep in the forest, she smelled it first and veered off to the right. She chased down the bear, leaping logs and creeks until she finally found it. She tackled him, biting as they rolled over the duff and branches of the forest floor. Her fangs sunk in as his huge paw swiped at her. She bit down harder, pulling faster. The hot blood filled her mouth. She closed her eyes and loved every second of it, except when he died. She always hated that part.

Briton nuzzled up against her, as if to tell her it was all right. After she had fed, they strolled through the woods.

She nattered on and he listened.

It had become their thing. She had refused to feed off of humans, unable to kill anyone. She would have preferred blood bags, but the donors weren’t easy to find in a small town slowly getting filled with supernatural beings.

They were halfway home when she ran her fingers through his dense fur. “I like that this is the start of our story. I like this start better than any of the others. I just wish, sometimes, that a few details could have been different, you know?”

He whined and rubbed against her.

They found a spot under a large clearing to
lay
down. He made the bed and curled into a furry ball. She nestled herself right in the middle, looking up at the stars. Her hand slipped around one of his massive paws. She closed her eyes and slept like the dead.

The next day she walked into class, feeling exhausted but excited—she was eighteen. Not that it would matter. She wouldn't ever age from eighteen, but it felt good to finally be free of the worst year of her life. Regardless of the good,
the bad would always taint and overshadow it
,
seventeen had been horrid
.

Liz strolled up, snapping her fingers and making sparks. Liv rolled her eyes. “You are so going to get seen. You know the council is all feisty about shit like that.”

Liz smiled. “Happy birthday.”

“Thanks.
You coming for dinner still?
Judith has some big dinner planned. She doesn't think I know, but I totes heard her talking on the phone.”

Liz stuck her bottom lip out. “Dude, that was a surprise. You better still act surprised.”

“I will. God.”

“You sound like Napoleon Dynamite when you say God like that.”

Liv stuck her tongue out at her best friend.

“I’m bringing Simon, just so you know. If the other rowdy brothers show up, they are Briton’s responsibility.”

Liv sighed. “They are so crazy. They must give Maria a frickin’ heart attack at least once a week.”

“You mean if she had a heart?”

Liv laughed. “Touché!”

Mr. Barns gave them a hateful look as they got their seats in class. Josh hit Liz in the arm. “He is never gonna like you.”

Liz scowled. “I for reals never did a thing to that man, just saying. He is a hater for no reason.”

Liv smiled and looked at her friends. She was going to have the best senior year a vampire could possibly have in a town filled with the things that went bump in the night.

And she mostly had Briton and NRA Barbie to thank for it.

She glanced out the window to the leaf-covered sidewalk below. He was standing there, already waiting for her to get out. She smiled subtly and watched him walk into the school.

“Mr. Barnes, I forgot something in my locker. Can I go get it?”

He scowled. “Hurry up, Ms. Daniels.”

She got up and ran down the hall to where Briton was coming up the stairs. He grabbed her hand and pulled her into the supply closet she didn't even know was there.

When they got inside, he closed the door. “I forgot to give you your present from me.”

She cocked an eyebrow. “I can’t even see you.”

His eyes instantly lit up, making it ever so slightly brighter in the closet.

He pulled something from his pocket and placed it in her hands. “I know you don't even want to have sex right now, and you want to take everything slowly. I know you are worried about being seventeen and in love. I know your brain is filled with the past month. I know all of that. But it is your birthday and I love you. If this is the start of our story, Liv Daniels, then I want it to start off right.” She felt the square thing in her hand, unable to see it.

He lit up his cell-phone flashlight and placed it on the counter, making it bright in the room. She looked down at the leather case in her hand—leather ring case. Her stomach tightened, but before she could say anything, he spoke as he opened the case. “This is a token of my love for you. It is a diamond from Iceland; from the area of the volcano that destroyed my farm and forced
me and my family to move to where your family was
. It is not an engagement ring. The shape is all wrong, but it is a ring to show you I love you and I remember you, as you were then and as you are now.”

She looked down as he pulled the silver ring from the box and slipped it on her finger. He put it on the middle finger of her right
hand,
nowhere near the one that would make her have anxiety attacks.

Surprisingly, she didn't mind it being there.

He tilted her chin. “One day when we become husband and wife in the custom of the people here, this will be your something old.” He kissed her hand where the ring was and then leaned in to kiss her. He whispered first, “Never was there a kiss destined to such an end.”

She smiled. “Yes, a happy end.”

He pressed his lips against hers, sealing the statement that indeed it would be a happy end, apart from the fact she still had to go back to Mr. Barnes’ history class.

As she left the broom closet, Briton smiled. “I’ll keep my brothers inline tonight.”

Liv waved and walked away, saying just loud enough. “You better. I invited your mother, so if you don't, she will.”

He started to laugh.

She turned and blew him a kiss. He caught it and put it in his pocket, shouting at her, “I’ll be cashing that in later.”

She held up her ring. “Thank you. I love it.”

“This is our story, Liv. We have to start out right.”

She smiled and watched him leave the school. She looked down on the ring and knew they were wrong about their ending. It was going to be a happy life with no ending.