Sundered (15 page)

For the next week I made two to three trips a day and the routine was well set. I took three bags, my can opener and a can of beans. Bob would meet me halfway to Dan’s, and I would give him the can of beans like some offering a knight errant would give to a bridge troll. Sebastian followed me and packed a bag back so that by the end of the week we’d moved twenty-one backpacks full of food and necessities. Dan even had a good stash of drugs squirreled away: antibiotics, over the counter pain killers, and some pill forms of morphine. I took it all thinking of possible complications and pain during the labour that I would face in a few short months.

Dan grumbled fiercely that I was taking his offer to the extreme, but when I pointed out that I’d barely made a dent in his supplies, he settled down. It didn’t hurt that on the third day I managed to bake cookies and I took some to him, though they were burnt around the edges. I was still trying to figure out the ways of baking with a wood burning cook stove. I suppose that even a grizzled old man likes homemade goodies, burnt on the edges or not.

On the seventh day, Sebastian was more than a little edgy, his eyes darting and his mouth clicking from time to time. I’d offered him food as I always did and he pushed it away at first, in the past few days never once taking from the stores we were collecting.

“
Eat it,” I said, the open can of peaches smelling positively delectable. Sebastian groaned and took the can from me, swallowing the peaches and the juice without a single gulp. I put the can into my bag. I could get rid of it at Dan’s.

We walked up the well-worn path, gave Bob his beans, and continued on. As always, I paused at the huckleberry bush and waited. Not just to see if the coast was clear, but to let Sebastian come closer, to touch me, even if it was only for a moment.

This time was different though. His hands went to my belly first as always, but he slid them under the shirt, over my bare skin and up to my suddenly taut nipples. He rubbed the flat of his hand over them, unable to tease them with his fingertips, the lack of dexterity not slowing him down for a moment. I let out a low moan. This was torture of the best kind. He pulled me tight against his him and slid his body up and down mine as he rubbed my breasts, his breath hot against my neck, his teeth grazing the skin. I knew I should be afraid, at least a little bit, but the emotions rocketing through me didn’t leave room for fear. Love, desire, skin, hunger. They left me trembling and useless in the way of thinking straight.

Sebastian nipped my earlobe and I started to reach back for him. He pushed me forward, knowing better than I did the limits of his control.

I stumbled to the door and let myself in, nearly gasping as I tried to get my hormones and emotions under control. I banged my hand against the door, suddenly angry and embracing the heat that burned off some of the desire.

“
It’s not fair!” I whispered.

“
What’s that woman? Not fair that you’re stealing all my food from me?” Dan asked.

I turned and leaned against the door. “No. Just, I don’t know, everything isn’t fair. Nothing is the way it should be.”

He grunted and helped me packed my bags, more baking supplies, chocolate chips, raisins, coconuts, walnuts, flour, and sugar. I smiled to myself. Dan surely wanted more cookies; there was no subtlety in his methods.

I gave him a peck on the cheek, “Thanks, Dan, I’ll bring more cookies next time.”

“
Get out of here, woman,” he growled at me, waving me off as he tried to hide a smile. I stepped outside with the three bags and started down the slight slope to the edge of Dan’s property. I hefted one bag into place and packed the other two to the huckleberry bush where Sebastian was. Except it wasn’t Bastian waiting for me.

It was Jessica.

She launched herself at me and I was barely able to step out of the way, stumbling to my knees as I slid in the grass. I dropped the bags of food and slid the bag off my back. I ripped them open and hoped the same trick would work with her as it had with Bob. Marshmallows and chocolate chips sprayed through the air, the scent of sugar drawing Jessica’s nose to the food stuff instead of to me.

More members of the pack spilled forward, filling up Dan’s garden and forcing me to the front of the house and onto the main road. The backpacks were shredded and the baking supplies were everywhere. I kept backing away; Jessica stared at me, her hatred palatable but the food a stronger pull than killing me, at least for the moment. I knew that as far as she was concerned, I’d stolen her man.

A loud boom rattled the air and the Nevermore closest to me dropped to the ground. I looked up to see Dan shooting at the pack from the top floor of his house.

“
You’d better run, woman,” he yelled. The pack swarmed through the yard, mostly focused on the food, but some were trying to get into the house, ending any chance I had at getting into safety.

I backed up until the pack was out of sight and then I ran. Okay, jogged, but I knew that I had to move. In my belief that I was safe, and in the concern for how much weight I should carry, I’d been leaving the rifle at home. All that stood between me and the pack was one measly knife. Deep shit did not even cover the depth of trouble I was in. Two more loud booms, then nothing more. Dan was giving me a chance at least.

I ran for fifteen minutes before I got a stitch in my side and had to slow down, but I was getting close to the halfway mark. Next up was the tunnel of broom that had nearly done me in, where we’d first met Dan and Bob.

I pushed my way into the thick greenery and found myself face-to-face with Bob. And I had nothing to give him. Again, shit seemed so understated.

“
Bob,” I said, “I’ll bring you two cans next time, just please let me by.” I couldn’t back up; I didn’t dare to with the pack coming my way. Already their voices were screaming and getting closer. A Nevermore hand shot through from behind me and I spun and slashed at it with my knife, opening a deep wound. Bob roared and stood up on his hind feet, even taller than Sebastian.

He roared again and the screaming and hollering stopped. Bob stepped forward and I stepped to the side to let him pass. Apparently beans were the right commodity to keep him friendly to me, and I thanked my lucky stars.

Bob shoved past me, roaring and growling, the scent of his musky coat heavy in my nose. I ran down the trail, so close to home that I could almost taste it. One hand instinctively on my belly, the other hand holding my knife, I ran, pushing through the broom and bush, no longer caring how much noise I made. The pack knew I was there. The only thing I hadn’t counted on was Sebastian.

As I hoofed it up the street, our house in view, the gate a blessed sign that I would be safe in a matter of moments, Sebastian burst out of the bushes, breathing hard and eyes wild.

“
Bastian!” I said, trying to speak while I was out of breath making his name come out as a whisper.

He snarled, his mouth open wide, his hands clenched in fists and ran at me, all the animalism that the rest of the pack exhibited every day coming home to roost on him finally.

“
Please God, no,” I said, scrambling backwards, holding my knife out in front of me, my husband advancing faster than I could back up. At the last second I slashed at him, opening the skin of his chest in a scarlet red line from left to right.

It didn’t stop him. He slammed into me, taking me to the ground as he howled his body hard and his ferocity terrifying me. If ever I thought I had been safe with him, I knew now I had been wrong. Maybe he’d been slipping slowly, but he’d still been moving away from me, moment by moment, step by step.

“
Please don’t make me do this,” I whispered my knife arm free. Sebastian’s body pinned mine to the ground in a mockery of the intimacy we’d once shared. With my left arm I pressed against his throat, keeping his teeth as far away from me as I could. There was no longer any trace of the man I loved left in his eyes. Tears spilled down my cheeks and I felt him pause, felt him muster something from deep inside.

He opened his mouth, I thought at first to growl or bite.

“
Do it,” he said, his eyes softening for a brief moment as he stared at my hand holding the knife.

I let out a cry of pain, gripped the handle with my right hand, and knew that if it were the last thing I did, I would love him forever.

There was no time; the pack was coming and they would kill me, Sebastian along with them for the ride, if I didn’t do something—and do it fast. For me, for our child, I had to do it; I had to kill the one man I loved more than any other person in my life.

A deep, gut-wrenching sob ripped out of me. With a last effort I raised the knife, holding it above his back, right over his heart.

“
I love you Bastian,” I said and brought the blade down.

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Bound

A man is not where he lives, but where he loves.
-Latin Proverb

1

There are moments in time that define you, make you who you are, force you to delve deep within your heart and grasp hold of the person you want to be. They are hard, gut wrenching, soul splitting seconds that leave us spiritually drained, yet somehow in the end, stronger.

The blade in my hand caught the sunlight as I brought it down, ready to bury it into Sebastian’s neck. As hard as it was to trust the monster he’d become, I could never kill him, not even to save myself or our child I carried. My fingers released the smooth wooden handle and the blade fell to the dusty, hard packed ground.

“
I can’t Sebastian.” I said; calm flooding through me as I accepted that he would kill me. The pack he led would clean my bones, feeding their young and old alike with my flesh.

He let out a groan and his body sagged onto mine, his face pressed against my neck. A low rumble started deep in his belly and his arms circled around me. I clung to him, holding back the sobs that were building in my chest. Before I could react, Sebastian stood, not letting go of me, but pulling me to my feet alongside him.

He stepped back and lifted his hands to my face to wipe away the tears that streaked down and dripped off my chin.

A screech from behind us, from the trail I’d just run out of, brought reality crashing back home. I had to get back on my side of the gate before the rest of the pack showed up.

I started to turn, sliding my hands off Sebastian’s hard body. “I have to go.” I said, he nodded, lifted his eyes towards the gate and let out a growl, his lips rippling with the noise. As I completed the turn a loud click echoed down the road. A man in an army uniform had a very large gun pointed at us.

“
Ma'm, step away from the Nevermore, slowly, no quick movements, it draws their attention.” He said, his eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses, a baseball cap pulled down low over his eyebrows.

I put my hand up, “No, you don’t understand, he’s not like the others.”

Sebastian let out a snarl and leapt passed me, seeing only a threat to me, a threat that had to be annihilated.

“
No!” I shouted, running after him but unable to keep up with his speed. A boom rattled the world around us and Sebastian’s body jerked backwards, a bloom of red spreading out behind him, his right shoulder suddenly soaked in blood. I let out a cry of pain as if the bullet had gone through me and not him. This couldn’t be happening, not now, not when we were so close to being safe.