Surreal Ecstasy (17 page)

I had tried explaining all of this
to my mother when I was a boy. She had always played along with me and had
indulged in the idea a little bit. In fact, she used to call me her little
cherub.

In hindsight, it probably did not
help that I claimed to be an angel when Dess was always being compared to me.
It had probably made us seem that much more opposite from each other. She had
gone through so much growing up, what with the struggle to understand her
sexuality, our mom trying to 'de-program' her, and Dess' natural distaste for
authority figures. At the same time, however, I truly believe my presence in
her adolescent years, added to the obstacles she had faced, had all helped her
become the self-assured, hard-headed woman she was today.

"In reference to what you
inquired about my being human, yes, I was human in the very physical sense,"
I explained to her. "I could get sick, grow old, have children, and die. I
was what one would call a Living Guardian Angel, or LGA. I had been your
Guardian Angel and chose to come to you in human form.

"LGAs were normally not very
commonplace, although activities from the past forty, fifty years or so have
changed this. I was only able to persuade my superiors in letting me come to
Earth because many groups of angels were starting to do it, though not for the
same reason as me. In human form, we are all called the Worthy. Actually, that
term referred to anyone from the Light, not just angels.

"Slates were humans with god
past lives and they were, by their very definition, blank moral slates, meaning
they can commit noble acts just as easily as they can sin, as easily proven by
the archaic Greek gods, for an example," I elaborated, watching her as she
absorbed all this information. "They had committed adultery, incest, rape,
torture, and murder on a constant basis, as well as inspired, loved, created,
and showed mercy. They weren't good or evil in the traditional way that most of
us are accustomed to. The Worthy were here to find these Slates, and convert
them to our side.

"Our universe, as it currently
stands, is based on the good-and-evil system. Although there are numerous
religions that believed only in nature, the majority of the living people on
Earth still did believe in good and evil and by doing so, they believed in us—angels
and demons, God and the devil." I took a breath and stopped talking to
give Morgan time to let this new information sink in.

After a few minutes, I continued. "Instead
of 'forcing' anyone to believe anything, I always believed that honest
communication about Worthiness was a strong, crucial weapon used in our angel
and human armies. The general consensus of most of the angels was to find the
Slates and help them become Worthy, thereby strengthening our forces and
eliminating the threat to our system.

"The demons from Hell have
also incarnated as humans, known as the Melted. The logic behind this name that
they gave themselves is as follows. Once an individual is a part of Hell, there
was no chance of getting out of there.
T
heir
personalities all
melt
together to become one all-encompassing
personality, seized by the devil
.
He likes to believe that all of Hell's creatures are extensions of himself. And
maybe they are. I'll never know, and I'm perfectly fine with that, believe me.

"The Melted want to find the
Slates, too—so they can kill them, thereby preserving our good-and-evil system.

"Putting an end to the Melted
is another mission for the Worthy. Their killing spree on Earth would create
more chaos than there already was on this planet.

"That meant the Worthy had two
missions—to find and convert the Slates, and to find and destroy the Melted. It
was not an easy task, especially considering that we didn't know how many
Slates existed. As a result of all of this, more angels volunteered to become
LGAs, so that they may continue watching over their charges but in a more
direct, personal manner, while still accomplishing the Worthy's primary
objectives."

I believe I was the only Worthy who
signed up for the LGAs with something else in mind entirely, but I did not
mention that to Morgan.

Guardian Angels do not fall in love
with the person they are meant to watch over. It simply does not happen. Yet,
here I was, at the mercy of a woman whose very breath and blood flow meant more
to me than the continuation of the good-and-evil system in the universe.

That was a lot to explain, and a
lot more to clarify to my superiors if and when the time came. I didn't tell
her that part, however. I didn't think it appropriate to worry her more than
necessary. I would have to figure that part out on my own.

"Morgan, please remember that
I'm here to love and guide you. You stopped believing in me long ago, but I
remained close to you, content to appear in your dreams until such time that we
could physically be together. It was the only way I could converse with you at
the time. Just like I have revealed to you in your dreams, you did not make me
up. You merely assumed you did, and I did not want to correct what you believed
wholeheartedly to be true. It did not matter that I was no longer getting the
credit for guiding you. I still wanted to be there for you in any way I could,
because you are my charge, and besides that, I love you." I stopped, took
a breath, and told her again. "I love you, Morgan. I always have. Is it
wrong for an angel to fall in love? Perhaps, yet my soul knows how I feel, and
I cannot fight it. I love you."

Her eyes darted back and forth, not
because she was looking at or watching anything, but most likely because she
was trying to piece together what I had told her. "So… so you decided to
be born on Earth and be with me this way?" she asked me.

I smiled a little and nodded. "Yes.
There's a lot of fine print amidst all this, but yeah, that's basically what
happened."

"So, you…" She pointed a
finger absentmindedly at me, her mind obviously somewhere else. "How could
you live your own life and still watch mine?"

"I didn't think about it all
the time because it is a lot to retain, much like having two sets of memories—my
own, and yours. But I pull out the memories of your life when I need to, and
once in a while I did go into a sort of awake-dream mode to 'tune-in' to your
life. It was not unlike watching the most poignant television channel in the
world."

She paused for a moment and said
nothing, avoiding my eyes, almost as if she were embarrassed by my enthusiasm. "I
remember what you said in my dream… that you saw Dess come up and talk to me.
That's so weird, that you can do that. Dess," she said, more to herself
than to me. "Hey, what about Dess? Doesn't it conflict supernaturally to
have you two be related?"

"LGA births are kept strictly
confidential. No one else would know who I was, although I am not exactly sure
what the procedures are for Slates. I would like to think they enter human
lives uninformed about who their human family members would be. Anyway, you
know Dess. I truly do not believe she is all that concerned with coming back to
power, although I do understand that she would like to know which god she was."

I took a deep breath and worked up
the courage to discuss the previously-mentioned life-watching. It would be
getting dangerously close to what I
didn't
want to tell her, but I
needed to make something perfectly clear. "I
have been
able to
watch you. See, there is a very odd rule about LGAs. If any of us meet our
charge—the person we're meant to watch over—we stop being their guides." I
paused without meaning to, looking in her eyes momentarily.

Understanding slowly made its way
across her face. "So you
were
my LGA… but you're not anymore?"

"Simply because of the fact
that we've met in person," I agreed.

She scoffed and shook her head. "That
makes no sense."

"I know, I know. The meaning
behind the rule is that, if I know you personally, I become unable to guide you
the way your soul needs."

"And you can't watch my life
anymore," she added, catching on.

I nodded slowly. That was going to
be such a handicap, not being able to tap into new memories. "But in
return, I get to watch you in person, and I just need to say—there are no words
that can appropriately explain how I feel about being this close to you."
I lifted her little chin with my hand. "I want you to understand
something. It is true that I am attending Earth under false pretenses. As I
grew up, I was always conscious of this and began to question my loyalty to the
Worthy's primary objectives. But then I met you in the flesh, and that—" I
had to pause momentarily because I was getting emotional— "that is worth
more than I could ever explain, even if I had an eternity to do it."

More emotion swept over Morgan's
face. I believe—or hoped—it was a show of her overpowering love for me. In
return, my adoration of her overwhelmed me, and I briefly considered telling
her the rest, the part about how it would be necessary for me to choose another
charge to watch over.

But how could I? It was such an
intimate bond I had shared with Morgan, and I couldn't, wouldn't replace her
with someone else.

There was no point in making her
feel guilty about something which was completely my doing.

"Ree," she exclaimed,
throwing herself to me with open arms. I embraced her and smoothed her gorgeous
silky hair, enjoying the softness of her skin. I kissed her head and smelled
her hair. It was intoxicating. I could spend a thousand lifetimes loving this
woman.

"Wait a minute," I said,
and we broke our embrace. "Don't you want to call me 'Tiberius' from now
on? It's manlier, don't you think?"

She laughed a little and smiled,
leaving me to bask in the beauty of her natural glow. "I agree, but it
sounds like a lot of work. 'Ree' is much easier to say."

We laughed together—something that
was happening more and more. It has been ages since I was able to really laugh
with anyone outside of my family. I did know of various people that were
kindhearted and genuine, but to be on the exact same wavelength as somebody was
new to me, not to mention exhilarating and fulfilling.

"I have a question for
you
,
now," I told her.

That got her attention. She sat up
rigidly, awaiting further instructions from me.

"You have been surrounded by
angels, gods, and demons—all members of the God Generation—your whole life. Are
you aware of this?"

She gave me a look that clearly
indicated she
had not been aware of that
. "Like
who?"

"I don't know who's who
exactly, but I have felt their presence for years. There is something specific
I want to reveal to you, however, and I would really like you to keep an open
mind." I paused, not knowing the best way to say this. In that same
second, I decided I would stop overthinking it and merely tell her what needed
to be said. "Baby, I think Adim's Melted." I sighed quietly and put a
comforting arm around her.

She gave me a confused look—I was
completely aware of the fact that it sounded
strange
.
Did she remember my explanation about the human demons being called Melted? I
wondered if she were imagining him literally melting, like a wax statue left in
the oven.

"I never even spoke to you
about him," she said finally, more to herself than to me. "This is
weird. I'm really not sure if I can get used to you knowing about my entire
life." She stared into space for a moment, and I felt her shame. "You
know about the drugs, the men, and Adim… what Adim did…" She buried her
face in my shoulder.

I held her protectively, blinking
back tears that threatened to free themselves from my eyes. "I always knew
what you endured when you were with him, but to see proof of your pain up close
and physically…" My fingers again traced delicately along the discolored
skin on her forearm. My heart felt heavy and sick, utterly disgusted by the
thought that anyone would want to harm this gentle, beautiful woman.

And while the human emotion of
disgust ran its way through my veins, another feeling followed almost
immediately after.

Guilt.

It was my fault, this whole mess
with Adim. I was to blame because I didn't meet her earlier in her life and
therefore couldn't protect her during those times. I can accomplish only so
much in dreams. "Do you even know what it's like for me… to see all the
horrific things that you've been subjected to? Do you know what I would like to
do to Adim if I wasn't so supposedly Worthy?"

She remained silent and only wept.
I held her protectively, images of him abusing her playing themselves through
my mind like a slideshow, enraging me more with each memory that I viewed.
There he was, punching her face. Pushing her hard into a bookshelf, which fell
on top her. Supplying her with foul things like marijuana, cigarettes, alcohol,
cocaine, and ecstasy. Treating her like she was a doormat instead of a woman.

There were definite ways of dealing
with this man. A whirl of a very agitated emotion began to stir up within me,
followed by the contentment in thinking that one day, someone was going to
bring him down.

I drew myself back, realizing what
I was feeling, and tried to put a stop to it internally, but it was too late.
The spirals of wrath had begun. Remembering who I was and where I came from, I
began to feel somewhat ashamed.

Somewhat.

Chapter 12

"My name is Lachesis.
LATCH-uh-sis," she emphasized, strolling confidently through my apartment
door.

"Funny, all this time I
thought your name was Decima Claudia," I said, stirring the eggs while
slowly adding a little bit of milk.