Surrender (9 page)

Ava

Holding the coffee in my hands I wonder off in thought about what the doctor said.

“We were very close to losing him.”

“The longer we leave it, the more he is at risk of death.”

He almost died. He still could die. If it wasn’t for Jeremy I don’t know how I would take all of this. This has all been so much for him to take as well, but he is being so supportive of me and my feelings. He really is a good friend. It’s now heading on closer to 2.30am but I have stopped feeling anything. My emotions have shut down they just can’t take anymore.

Placing my cup up to my lips I take a sip of the coffee, swallowing stone cold coffee I don’t even shudder. I don’t care; I’m only drinking for the sake of it anyway. Glancing at Jeremy and Jo I see Jeremy has his arm around her and she is resting her head on his shoulder. I pulled away from Jeremy a while ago. I just need space. Looking over at them I feel like I am looking at a couple, they are perfect for each other, it’s all over Jo’s face that she loves him and Jeremy is resting his head on hers. She seems to comfort him in all of this. I can see this connection and chemistry between them and now I know why he always turned to her. I can see now that I never compared to her it was always her.

Dragging my phone out of my pocket I skip the messages on my phone. I don’t even look to see who they are from and I don’t care right now I just want to see his face. Going into my photos I open the most recent photo. It’s a picture of Brody and I climbing the Harbor Bridge in Sydney. Looking at the picture I see how happy he is, he hasn’t been that happy since we came back. The issues with Jeremy and his mum have really taken a toll on him.

“He looks so happy.”

Looking up at Jeremy I smile.

“Yeah he was, I surprised him with the climb and he loved it. Not a worry in the world then…” I don’t say anymore, I don’t want to make Jeremy feel guilty about anything so I just drop the conversation.

“Ava, why was he going to see his mum?”

“She wanted to meet up with him she said she had changed and she wanted to get to know him again and be in his life.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. She had been calling him and he didn’t want to see her but it was eating him up so I told him to just give her a chance.”

“Fuck Ava. She doesn’t deserve a chance. She never will.”

Feeling the tears well in my eyes I can feel the blame heading my way.

“I know but I didn’t want him to regret it. He needed to see what she wanted to be able to move on.”

Jeremy runs his hand though his hair.

“How did she get his number?”

Without thinking I mumble. “Travis gave it to her.”

“What the fuck was he thinking? He should not be giving our numbers out to anyone. Especially not to those assholes.” Jeremy is sitting there shaking, he must be so angry at Travis.

Jeremy pulls out his phone. “I’m going to sort this all out now.”

Jo places a hand on his leg and he looks into her eyes. “Jeremy it’s three o’clock in the morning now is not the time. Wait until tomorrow and go and see him.”

Reluctantly Jeremy nods at Jo and puts his phone back in his pocket.

“Fine but tomorrow his ass is going to get it, this is all his fault.”

***

Drinking the last mouthful of the coffee that Jo just brought back from the vending machine I look at the clock; eight o’clock in the morning and still nothing from the doctors, we still haven’t even been able to see him. Walking over to the bin I dump the empty coffee cup in there, I feel horrible. Hunching over the bin I vomit. My entire stomach contents empties into the bin, which isn’t much but I feel a bit better.

Jeremy comes over to my side while I’m standing there wiping my mouth.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine just the pressure of everything going on.” Jo hands me a bottle of water and I take a gulp, washing down the taste of vomit.

As I turn to thank Jo for the water, I see a Doctor walking into the room.

“Mr. Stone?”

Jeremy stands up and shakes the Doctors hand. I look at the doctor waiting for him to speak. His nose moves with his facial expression, his eyes blink and he rubs his face. Why is he taking so bloody long to tell us?

“We will be moving Brody into a private room later on today and you and the rest of the family will be allowed to visit once he is settled in.” Jeremy must have spoken to him but I didn’t hear it. A few more hours and I will be able to see him.

Jeremy

As Ava and Jo stroll down the corridor hand in hand I follow behind. I’m worried about what we’re going to find when we enter his room. How will Ava react to seeing him all busted up. The Doctor that came to see us early this morning warned that there was a lot of facial bruising, so I spoke to Ava and let her know that he probably won’t look the same. I think she just feels like she needs to see him no matter what, just to be reassured that he is still here with us more than anything.

The nurse showing us to Brody’s room stops just outside the door and gestures for us to enter. Ava and Jo stand completely still and wait for me to go first. Pushing the door open I glance in. A curtain is blocking most of my view of Brody but I can see the shape of his legs and feet under the blanket. My legs are frozen as I go to step into the room. I don’t know if I can do this. I’m scared to see my friend like this. It will all seem more real.

Forcing my legs to work, I grab hold of Ava’s other hand and lead both her and Jo into the room. The soft, steady sound of beeping machines is the only thing I hear as we make our way around the curtain. As soon as Brody comes into view, Ava’s hand grips mine tighter and I hear a small gasp.

Brody hadn’t been wearing his helmet at the time of the accident and if he had been, we probably wouldn’t be staring at him lying in bed in an induced coma. But because of the lack of a helmet, both of his eyes are black and swollen and there is a massive graze down the right side of his face. Ava lets go of our hands and walks closer to the bed, her little body trembling as the emotion takes over. Just as she reaches out to touch his hand a sob bursts its way out of her and she cries, silent, but heart wrenching tears, her shoulders shaking as another sob escapes. Tears are running down my cheeks as I watch this beautiful girl give in to the emotion that she has been holding in for the last twenty four hours. She has been so strong and now the walls are crumbling down around her as the reality of it all hits her. Wrapping my arm around her, I wipe my tears with the back of my hand and offer her as much comfort as I can. Glancing down at Brody again I can’t help but feel angry at him for getting into this mess. I know it’s unfair of me to feel that way as he is the one lying in the bed all busted up. If only he had worn his helmet. Sure, he would have still been injured in the accident, but nowhere near as badly as this. Then my anger shifts toward his Mother. What the fuck was she trying to achieve by getting him to meet up with her? I bet she was after money. I would bet my life on it. Finally, my anger shifts to the person that could have avoided all of this shit by just saying ‘no’. Travis. What the hell was he thinking giving out Brody’s personal number? And, to his parents of all people. The people that have caused him the most pain and heart ache in his life; the people who still have the ability to cause more pain in his life. His Mother has nearly cost him his life. The selfish bitch.

***

I wake up and rub my eyes as I look around the room and remember where I am. I am sitting in a chair beside Brody’s hospital bed and Ava is in the chair on the other side. My body is stiff and my neck is aching from the awkward angle I slept in. I don’t know how long I’ve been asleep, but as I look toward the window, I notice the light of day is fading fast.

Luke, Hunter and the girls had come back to visit around lunch time and after they realized there was nothing they could do, they went home, taking Jo with them. She wanted to stay with us but I insisted that she go home and get some rest. I slowly rise from the chair stretching my body and rubbing my neck with my hand. Ava doesn’t even notice my movement as she is holding Brody’s hand and staring down into his face. Her eyes look vacant and her face blank.

“Ava, I’m gonna go and get you another coffee and some food. You need to eat, even if it’s just a little, okay?”

She shakes her head gently. “I’m not hungry.”

“I know, Baby. But you need to keep your strength up. All you’ve had while we’ve been in this place is coffee, you need food. I’ll run down to the cafeteria and I’ll be back soon.”

She nods once and I walk out the door.

When I return ten minutes later with a couple of coffees, sandwiches and muffins, she hasn’t moved from the spot she was in before. I place the coffees and food down on the trolley beside her chair and force her to eat. She eats half a sandwich and picks at the muffin. It’s something I guess.

Over the next couple of hours, we sit in silence listening to the steady beep of the machines and the sounds of the hospital. Every hour a nurse comes into the room and checks Brody’s vitals and makes sure the machines are still working. Ava doesn’t talk, she doesn’t move, only getting up every couple of hours to go to the bathroom. She hasn’t slept at all and I’m really worried about her current state of mind.

“Ava, I think you should go home tonight and get some sleep.”

“Jer, I can’t. I can’t leave him.”

“Baby girl, you need to get some rest. Brody would hate to see you sitting here all day and night and not eating or sleeping.”

“I can’t leave him. What if something happens and I’m not here for him? What if he wakes up? What if…?”

She doesn’t finish that question, but I know exactly where it was going.

“Ava, Brody is recovering. You need to make sure you take care of yourself so you are still here when he wakes up.”

Her eyes tear up again. “I can’t leave him, Jeremy. Please don’t make me leave him.”

Sighing, I settle back in my chair. It’s going to be a long night.

Ava

Looking down at Brody’s face I study the bruising, it makes him look like a totally different person. His eyes are all swollen, the bruising is darker and the graze on his face looks painful. Someone comes in to the room and I don’t even raise my head. People have been coming in and out for days. Well I think it’s been days. I don’t even know what today is; I think it has been three or four maybe five days since the accident. In all of that time I have only left his side to go to the bathroom. Jeremy has been bringing me food and coffee but I have only been picking at it. I just want Brody to wake up and come home with me.

Feeling a hand on my shoulder, I don’t need to turn around to know it’s Jeremy. He has been in several times a day and has even stayed a few nights. He tried to get me to go home a few times but I just can’t leave. If something happens and I’m not here I’ll never forgive myself. Pushing my chair back I mumble to Jeremy.

“I’m going to the bathroom”. Standing up I go to take a step when I feel weightless, my head spins and I just look over to Jeremy. In slow motion I watch Jeremy move towards me as I feel my body falling toward the floor.

“That’s it Ava I’m taking you home.”

“What, no Jer you can’t.”

“Ava you almost passed out I’m taking you home, Brody will not forgive me if something happens to you. He would hate to see you like this. You need to look after yourself so you are here for him when he wakes up.”

“I can’t go home. What if he wakes up and I’m not here? He will think I don’t care.”

“Ava, look at you, you haven’t had a shower in five days and you haven’t eaten a decent meal since Brody’s accident. You need to take care of you.”

“Please let me stay.”

“Ava, have you even slept at all in the last five days?”

“A little.”

“I’m taking you home.”

“He’ll think no one cares if he’s alone when he wakes up.”

“I’ll call the guys and one of them will come and stay with him. You need to sleep.”

“I can’t go to my house. I don’t want to be alone.”

“Fine I’ll take you to Brody’s. You can stay there with Jo.”

Watching Jeremy slide his key into Brody’s front door my body seems to freeze up. The apartment smells just like Brody and it makes my heart ache. I take a step back. I need to go back to him. Jeremy looks over his shoulder at me, holding his hand out he wraps his fingers around mine and pulls me into the living room. Hearing the door close behind me I look around Brody’s place, it’s a mess; Jo must be taking this hard. Jeremy still hasn’t let go of my hand and he pulls me straight towards the bathroom. Pulling the curtain back Jeremy turns the water on and adjusts it to the right temperature.

“Jeremy, is that you?”

“Yeah, we’re in the bathroom Jo.”

I can hear Jo walking around in the lounge room; she must have arrived home from class.

“I thought you went to the hospital?”

“I did baby but Dundee almost passed out.”

“What? Is she okay.”

Jo appears in the doorway.

“Oh you’re here.”

“I made her come with me. I’ve asked Hunter and Luke to stay at the hospital tonight so Ava and I can get some real food and rest.”

“Good, looks like you could both use a good feed and a decent night’s sleep. At the risk of sounding rude, you both look like shit.”

Jo draws her eyes down to Jeremy’s fingers that are holding the bottom of my shirt. Pain shoots across her face and she mumbles something about leaving us to it. Jeremy doesn’t see it and continues to remove my shirt. Standing there in my bra and pants I look at him.

“Jeremy I can do this, go and give Jo a hand cleaning up.”

“What if you pass out and hit your head?”

“I’ll be fine, just yell out if you get worried Jer.”

“Okay but if something happens to you Brody won’t forgive me.”

Placing my hand on his shoulders I smile, “I’ll be okay.”

Jeremy walks out leaving me to myself and my thoughts. Getting in the shower I close my eyes and allow the water to flow over my head.

After finishing my shower I’m feeling a little better. I find some of my clothes to wear and sit down for dinner with Jo and Jeremy.

“Have you heard from the guys tonight?”

“Yeah, they said the Doctor ran some tests this afternoon and discovered that the swelling has gone down considerably, so they will begin to reduce the medication to help him come out of the coma. However, there’s no guarantee of when that will be.”

“Okay.” Cutting my chicken breast into small pieces, I slowly chew. Jeremy and Jo seem to be passing glances between one another and I can’t help but wonder what’s going on. After eating a few vegetables I can’t eat anymore.

“I’m full thanks for dinner.” Picking my plate up I walk over to the sink and fill it up with water to wash the dishes. I hear a chair scrape across the floor and heavy footsteps that stop behind me. The cloth gets taken from my hands and I turn to look at Jeremy.

“Ava, stop. I’ll clean up. Just go to bed okay and sleep.”

Nodding at Jeremy I walk out of the room and mumble “Goodnight” to Jo.

Pulling the covers back on Brody’s bed I feel everything coming to the surface again. Sliding in I pull the covers up to my chin and roll onto my side and allow the tears to fall once more. His scent is everywhere, surrounding me, reminding me of what is missing. I would give anything to have him lying in this bed with me, holding me.