Surrender of a Tattooist: Obsessive Dark Romance Alpha Bad Boy (Tattooist Series Book 2) (11 page)

Cliff looked at Hawk, who looked just as thunderstruck as he felt. “Cara, you’re right. You are better than me. Hell, I’d go so far as to say you’re even better than Hawk, and we both know he’s better than me, and I’m sorry you didn’t come to me and talk to me about it back then too. Because you could have.”

“I didn’t think I could. I also didn’t think I could work here with you being so angry still.”

“I was angry,” Cliff said slowly, “But there’s a lot of water under that bridge, and I hope you know that telling me that doesn’t change anything. I mean, I’ve moved on…”

“Oh, for shit’s sake, there you go being a guy again. I’m not hitting on you or telling you because I’m hoping we can get back together, you idiot. I’m telling you because I don’t want you pissed at me, and because I don’t want to compete with you on an unfair playing field.”

Cliff stared at her, surprised at the confidence and seeing part of the old fire he remembered she used to have.

“I worked in a shop in Manhattan where the other artists took it personally; that I’m a woman, I mean. They went out of their way to try to hijack customers and underrate my work. They talked all kinds of shit about me too. There was even a rumor that I was dishing out free blowjobs with every tat, and that that was why I was getting so much money in the till.” She frowned and shook her head. “I came back out here to get a fresh start. I chose this place because I figured Hawk had already hired a female piercer and had a woman tat artist at one time, so maybe he’d get it and just appreciate me as an artist. That’s all I want.”

Cliff said, “I would never do anything shady. If any of the other guys do tell Hawk, he’ll shape it up.”

Hawk’s face was etched in anger for the shit Cara had gone through in New York. “Damn sure I will. I didn’t hire you for your looks. I hired you for your work.” The door chimed to let them know someone had walked in. “Speaking of work…”

Cara nodded. Cliff did too. Hawk walked out to chat with whomever had just walked in.

Cara smiled and touched Cliff’s arm hesitantly. “Well, thank you for hearing me out. I’m sorry…”

“Don’t apologize. Just keep in mind that I don’t like people crossing boundaries they shouldn’t any more than you do.”

She nodded and walked out. Cliff sighed and went to check his equipment as he tried to get his thoughts in order. Of all the things he had ever thought about why she had left, of all the reasons he had come up with—and there had been many—he had never considered the real one.

And it had been right in front of his face too. How in the hell had he been so blind?

Well, at least he could stop worrying that whatever he’d done to fuck up his relationship with Cara was going to come back to screw up his relationship with Pixie.

Talk about your silver linings.

Joy and Pixie sat on the sofa with an open bottle of wine, and a carton of coconut milk and carob bean ice cream on the coffee table before them. Joy handed her a wine glass. “I thought we would celebrate your big interview. So how did it go?”

“Good, I think. It felt good anyway. The dean’s really cool. He’s not at all bothered by my hair or tats. He was determined to make sure I could do the job, though, and he really put me through the wringer. He was actually delighted to find out about my social justice arrests.”

“Really?” Joy lifted her eyebrow. “Do tell.”

“The students are diverse, and they need someone who is able to handle that. In other words, they aren’t looking to hire a bigot or someone who thinks they’re better than the students, and apparently that had happened in the past.”

Joy nodded, clearly impressed with her roommate, and ticked at the system. “Wow. How could anyone think they’re better than people trying to educate themselves?”

“I don’t know.” Pixie laughed as she thought of something. “I do know I’m no better than the students. I’m just as broke as most of ‘em.”

“Pixie’s broke, “Caligula intoned.

“Yes, we know,” Pixie said waspishly.

Joy laughed. “You really need to teach that sucker some tact. The other day he told the maintenance man that he had a blockhead, and he constantly tells Hawk he’s good in bed.”

Pixie grinned behind her glass of wine. “He must have heard that from you. To be fair, he tells Cliff he’s pretty.”

“Cliff is sort of pretty,” Joy said with a smile.

Pixie gave Caligula the evil eye as he intoned again, “Pixie’s broke.”

“Damn right, you little bugger, but you got honey sticks and food, so glory in the fact I love you enough to feed you even when I’m broke.”

Caligula strutted to the other end of the cage, ruffled his feathers, and muttered a few swear words. Pixie shook her head. Joy, stretching out on the sofa, giggled and said, “I think your logic has stumped him.”

Pixie sighed. “At least I have that to fight with. Of course, it won’t stop him from splattering poop all over me in lieu of logic.”

Joy grimaced. “Yeah, there is that. So, are you excited about your second interview?”

Pixie nodded. “I am. I’m also really nervous.”

Joy raised her eyebrows. “Why?”

Pixie sighed again. “Well, partly because I’m sure that they liked me today, but that they might see a hundred other people that they like equally as much tomorrow. And partly because…” she moistened her lips with her tongue and asked, “Do you know what Hawk did?”

Joy shook her head, “No.”

“He hired Cara Van Tear.”

Joy smacked her forehead. “Oh! I knew about that. She’s the best in the country. Hawk swears she’s as good as he is, and he said in a few years she might even be better.”

“She’s Cliff’s ex.”

Joy’s eyes bulged. “What?”

Pixie nodded. “Yeah.”

Joy frowned. “Did Hawk know that?”

Pixie nodded. “I guess everyone in the tat world knows that. Hawk knew, and he didn’t tell Cliff either; he just let her waltz right in there.”

Joy’s face wore an expression of mild anger. “He shouldn’t have done that.”

Pixie shrugged. “No. But he’s a guy. For all that he’s a great guy, he’s still a guy and guys don’t usually think about things the way that we do.”

“Is this going to be a big problem for you?”

“Probably. I mean, would you want Hawk’s ex working with him? And to beat it all, it seems she walked out on him just before they were supposed to make it all official. He gave her a ring and everything.”

“Oh wow. Pix…that’s really not cool.”

Pixie shook her head. “No, it isn’t. Hawk looks at it as a business thing. I know he didn’t do it to hurt me or Cliff, and really it should be okay because it’s been so many years, but the truth is I don’t like it. I mean, I don’t have the best track record with men as it is, and I don’t want to let jealousy issues come between me and Cliff, but I can already feel myself starting to overthink the whole thing. Like all these crazy thoughts are going through my head and I keep wondering…” Her eyes dropped. Joy was her best friend. They shared a lot, and Joy knew more about her than anyone else, but what she was about to say was so personal she was almost afraid to say it. “We…we made love, right? And in my head, not during, but after, I was wondering if it was really me he wanted.”

Joy hugged her. “I’m talking to Hawk, and he isn’t going to like what I have to say either.”

“No!” Pixie pulled back and looked Joy in the eye, a pleading expression on her face. “No, I don’t want you and Hawk fighting over this. I’m sure Cliff isn’t…that he doesn’t want her. Deep down I’m sure of it and I have to get past the stuff that has been holding me back. Now’s as good a time as any to do that, I guess. I know it won’t be easy, but I can handle it. It’s my own insecurities.”

“Either way,” Joy huffed. “Hawk must’ve thought there were no issues between Cliff and Cara. He wouldn’t have done it without thinking about conflict. It’s his shop and his rep.”

Pixie nodded. “I get that. It isn’t even Cliff I’m really worried about. It’s her. I don’t like her. Not just because …well, you know, but there’s just something about her that rubs me all the wrong way. Maybe it’s because she wears all that damn leather. Or maybe it’s because she has this giant chip on her shoulder you can see from a mile away. Whatever it is, I’m just not fond of her. Plus, the first thing she told me was that she didn’t want him.”

Joy set her empty glass of wine down. “Oh, hell no.”

“Oh, hell yes. In my experience, when a woman says that it’s usually because she does.”

“Or maybe she really doesn’t.”

Pixie said, “Do you believe she would have said that if she didn’t?”

“Not at all,” Joy said promptly, “But I also don’t want to add fuel to a fire that might not have any heat. Like you said, most women say that right before they start doing crazy stuff around your man, but maybe she’s the exception, and there are exceptions to that.”

Pixie sighed for the millionth time that day. “Well I can’t sit at the shop all day just to keep her talons out of my guy. Plus, I have to trust him enough to believe she will never get her hands anywhere near him in the first place. Maybe this is the exercise in trust I have really needed, even if I don’t want it. And I want to trust him. I really do. I want to believe that Cliff’s the man I think he is, and that man would never do anything to hurt me.”

“I don’t envy you on this one. I have to admit I get jealous every time I walk into the shop and Hawk’s got his hands on some woman’s butt or boobs, even though I know it’s part of his job.” Joy’s grin grew impish. “I never say anything about it, though, and ever since I saw him tat up a man’s penis I got a good idea of just how objective he really is when it comes to body parts.”

Pixie howled laughter. She couldn’t help it. The idea of Cliff tattooing a penis was funny. He was so macho. “Yeah they do do a lot of butts.”

Joy burst out laughing. “You said do-do.”

Caligula chewed on his cage. “Do-do. Do-do. Tat a penis.”

Pixie fell back against the couch, laughing. “I’m going to be arrested for animal mistreatment. Why does that bird have to repeat all the bad stuff?”

After a few moments the laughter calmed, and another glass of wine seemed to help as well. Joy looked thoughtful a moment. “I think it’s sexy when Hawk paints my skin, but I can’t see where he thinks it’s sexy to have a tattoo on someone’s butt, especially a guy’s butt. He once had to shave a guy’s whole ass just to tattoo it because it was so hairy.”

Pixie chortled. “Tattooing is sexy, most of the time, but I do feel for them when it’s not.” She sobered and added, “Damn, Joy, you see her.
Cara
. She’s all blonde and perfect boobs, and she’s got great legs. Like long, and stupid skinny.”

“I feel you on that one. I still have a little trouble sometimes believing that Hawk really prefers my body to the bodies of the model-skinny women who are running around L.A. in packs. But your legs are dynamite and I bet she doesn’t have moving butterflies on hers.”

Pixie shrugged, “No, but I bet the heifer has perfect calves and mine are all skinny and weird.”

“I’d kill for your calves.” Joy hugged her again. Caligula hissed at them and Pixie flipped him off. He flounced along his perch again and regarded her balefully. She chuckled and changed the subject, “So yeah. I need to find something to wear tomorrow and I’m broke. I need a great outfit. Are you up to thrift shopping for a few hours?”

Joy said, “I can do better. Let’s go get you some decent working-woman clothes. My treat.”

Pixie shook her head, “You don’t have to do that.”

“No, but I want to. Besides, I’m sure they have something that will go perfectly with your hair.” She set down her nearly full glass of wine. “A glass of wine and a few sips puts me in a shopping mood.”

Pixie lifted a hand to her deep purple locks. “I still don’t want you buying me clothes.”

Joy said, “I have faith in you. I’ve faith that you’re going to nail this job. I have complete and utter faith in you, and I want the universe to know there’s faith in you too, so I feel like buying you clothes is like shouting that into the cosmos or whatever crazy thing you believe this week.”

Moved close to tears by that, all Pixie could do was say, “Thank you. I want to say no because that’s so generous, and I’m sure it’s going to be hideously expensive, but now I can’t.”

Joy said, “Nope, you can’t.”

Pixie said, “You really believe in me like this?”

Joy said softly, “Of course I do. I just can’t believe you don’t.”

Her heart swelled with gratitude. “I’m starting to believe it. I really am.”

And not just in the job. She was starting to believe that maybe, just maybe, things would and could work out with Cliff too. Yes, Cara being there was problematic and hard to handle. Yes, she was still feeling the prick of jealousy and that terrible thought—does he want me or her—had come up in her mind, but it was fading now.

She stood up and rubbed her hands together. “Okay let’s do this, but if you try to put me in one of those high-fashion power suits I’m running as fast as I can.”

Joy giggled. “I hope you’re planning on changing those shoes then.”