Surrender to Love (20 page)

    "You need your rest, Father," Gray Hawk said, resting his hand on his father's head. In all his years he'd never told his father how much he loved or respected him. Now with Iron Bear present, he could not form the words.
    Gray Hawk walked past his brother out into the night. He looked for Jordan, and saw her heading back toward the teepee. He needed her companionship desperately.
    "How dare you bring that woman back to our village."
    Gray Hawk turned at the sound of his brother's voice, who approached him in long strides.
    "How dare you bring that woman back into our camp."
    Every nerve in Gray Hawk's body tensed. "She has brought no harm to any of us."
    "Our father is ailing, he will die because of her."
    Gray Hawk shook his head. "Our father is dying because he is ill. Jordan's presence won't change the inevitable."
    "Will she stay with you? When you become Chief, will she remain?"
    "I hope so."
    Iron Bear took the step that separated them. "If she stays, I will leave here, and I will take our people with me."
    It was a threat, and one that Iron Bear obviously intended to uphold. Gray Hawk didn't doubt it for a minute. "Do what you feel you must do."
         WITH EVERY day that passed, there was a distance growing between Jordan and Gray Hawk, one that made her increasingly uneasy.
    The hostility toward her was increasing, to the point that now she was isolated, though a few took pity on her and would sit beside her at the fire, while Gray Hawk kept vigil over his father. Three Moons was getting worse. The women chanted constantly, and the mood around the camp was growing grimmer. She had noted a few of the women had made marks on their bodies, as though knowing their Chief would not live to see another day.
    Her stomach churned realizing what it meant.
    Three Moons would die, and Gray Hawk would become Chief. He would never leave his people. He would not be returning to the ranch with her, of that she was certain.
    Jordan's hand rested on her stomach. She knew for certain that she was pregnant. For days now she'd been ill, and at first she'd thought perhaps it had been the journey, but now she knew that wasn't the case.
    She would have Gray Hawk's baby.
    And Gray Hawk would stay with his people. It was his destiny, and though Jordan wanted desperately to tell him about the baby, she couldn't bring herself to ask him about the future, afraid of what his reaction would be. Would he insist she stay if he knew she was to have his child? Chances were, he would, and she couldn't stay where she wasn't wanted. Nor did she even want to.
    She would have to leave. Their baby would be born back at her ranch and he would never find out. Her child would grow up without the love of its father--and they both would survive. But even as she thought it, she had to fight back the tears that threatened.
    Conscious they wouldn't have a future together, Jordan wanted to leave right away. After the long ride here, combined with morning sickness, she had little choice but to stay a while longer. Plus, she needed to allow enough time for things to die down in Brogan. Then she would go back to the Triple T, begin her future by facing her past, and namely her uncle. She wouldn't keep running. What was the worse thing that could happen? Sure, her uncle could arrest her for kidnapping, but if Kari told him she had come with Jordan willingly, he really had no case against her.
    Knowing her uncle as she did, he probably came solely for the reason of bringing them back to Virginia--back to Marvin. In all these months she began to wonder what kind of a deal her uncle had made with the equally rich man. There had to be more going on than what met the eye. Her uncle was too shrewd a businessman to let any money slip through his greedy fingers.
    But he wouldn't get anything out of her, especially once she told him she was pregnant. She almost laughed out loud, imagining his face when she told him she was going to have a half-breed's child.
    Pulling a fur tighter around her shoulders, she shivered as a cold breeze entered the teepee followed by Gray Hawk, reminding her that fall was on the way and with every day the weather would get harsher, making travel difficult. He sat down near the fire and watched her. She met his stare but said nothing. He looked so tortured and sad. His father was dying, and soon all the responsibility would fall on his shoulders.
    He already had too much to handle. Knowing about the child she carried would only make things worse for him. Or would it? She opened her mouth to tell him, then quickly shut it. She didn't want to burden him further.
    "You rarely go outside anymore."
    She shrugged. "I don't feel that I'm very good company."
    He frowned. "I want you to be happy here, Jordan."
    She stared at him, waiting for him to continue, but he didn't. Maybe it was better they didn't discuss the future.
    
I'm pregnant with your child
she wanted to shout into the silence, but the words wouldn't form on her tongue.
    "I must stay and take care of my people. Tell me that you'll stay with me," he said, taking her hand in his.
    She looked down at her lap where their fingers lay entwined. "How can I stay where I'm not wanted? They have isolated me. I don't belong, and I know they blame me for your father's failing health."
    "That's ridiculous."
    "But it's the truth."
    He didn't deny it, confirming what she already knew. "Jordan, I need you with me."
    His words were like a sharp stab to the heart. As he reached to touch her, his fingers lingering on her jaw, she felt her resolve weakening, but knew she must remain strong.
    "I want you, Jordan. I need you desperately," he said, leaning toward her.
    Needing him as much as he needed her, she gave herself over to him. He crushed her in his strong, powerful embrace, bringing her to the furs, his hands roaming every inch of her. He sat up abruptly, stripped off his shirt, and then his breeches. She stared unabashedly, taking in every inch of his strong, hard body, knowing it would be for the last time.
    "Do you know that the first time I saw you, I was absolutely terrified of you." As he lay next to her, she snuggled against him, loving his strength and the comfort he gave. Always she felt safe in his arms, as though the rest of the world didn't matter.
    He kissed her forehead. "You know what I thought when I first saw you? I remember thinking what a pretty face you had for a boy."
    She hit him in the arm.
    "Well, I wasn't sure you were a woman until you opened your mouth. I knew at that moment no man would have such a voice. Not to mention your lovely breasts." His fingers moved over her sensitive flesh. "You have no idea how much I wanted you."
    "Not in the beginning," she said with a frown, knowing he had felt anything but desire.
    "You were stubborn," he admitted, "But that didn't stop me from craving you."
    His words excited her, and now her body trembled with the need that raced through her. Her hands greedily splayed over the hard muscles of his chest and abdomen, going lower to that part of him that could bring her such pleasure. Her fingers gripped his rock-hard manhood, loving the feel of satin over steel. Her breathing became labored as his fingers worked their magic, trailing over her nipples, down her stomach, slipping between her legs.
    He shifted, grabbing her by the waist, guiding her until she straddled him. His smile was sinful as he sat her down on his thick erection. She gasped as he filled her completely.
    His hands were braced on either side of her hips. He kept his gaze locked with hers, straining to keep control when she moved the slightest bit. Her movements were tentative at first, then she gained confidence as her own needs began to build. Soon she rode him with wild abandon. He smiled up at her, filling his palms with her firm breasts. Sitting up, he took a nipple inside his mouth as she continued rocking against him, her moans and cries warning him of her coming release.
    Her tight sheath pulsated around his shaft, pulling every ounce of his seed from him. She collapsed on him, her breathing coming in deep gasps. He could feel her heart pounding beneath his fingers as he ran them along her spine. How she wished they could stay like this forever.
    Jordan's breathing was barely back to normal when Gray Hawk hands began to wander again, bringing back to life the familiar stirring. He began to grow inside of her, filling her completely, and when she glanced at him, his smile was nothing short of predatory.
    It was the early morning hours before she finally closed her eyes. For hours they had made love, taking time to learn what each other liked and wanted. She smiled down at her exhausted lover. His features were softened in sleep, making him look so young, almost boyish.
    In her heart she didn't want to leave him, but she had to. There was no other choice. He belonged to his people, and she belonged with hers.

Chapter 24
    FREDERICK was getting tired of the obnoxious sheriff. Since arriving in Brogan the man had become his bonafide shadow. With every day that passed, Frederick seriously considered eliminating the man from his plans. He was prepared to pay the reward money just to get rid of him...that was when the women were here in Brogan. But now that they had left, he had to come up with a new game plan.
    "Darling, come to bed."
    Smoking his pipe, Frederick glanced over at the bed where China, his sweet little whore lay naked on a pair of clean sheets. He smiled softly, hating to admit to himself how attached he was getting to the woman. Every day he called for her, and every night she satisfied him to no end. Finally, he agreed to pay for all her time until he left. An arrangement which pleased him immensely.
    Just this morning he had received a telegraph from Patricia saying she missed him and was waiting for his safe return. In essence, the bitch was wanting to know if the money was coming to keep her in diamonds and gowns, as well as her cherished homes in London and Paris.
    Then there was China. Sweet, China. Not once did she ask him for anything. Instead, she was committed solely to his pleasure, doing whatever he desired and more. He bought her a few new gowns, having been unable to stand the sight of the hideous satin ones that were much too small and far too gaudy for his tastes. She deserved to be clothed in the finest silks and lace, and what a little beauty she was when she was all cleaned up.
    He crossed the room and lay down beside her, taking her in his arms. She cuddled up to him, pressing herself into his body as though she'd been made just for him.
    He knew his business would soon be concluded, and he wondered if China would have any interest in going to Virginia. Never in his life had he thought of keeping a mistress, knowing if Patricia were to find out, she would see to his ruin, yet he wasn't sure if he could give China up. He was so relaxed when he was with her, reminding him of the days when his work wasn't everything.
    "Have you ever been to the East coast, my love?" he asked, keeping any pretense out of his voice.
    She kissed his neck softly. "I lived in New York for a while, but I wanted to come west. Is that where you're from?"
    "No, Virginia," he said, pulling her on top of him. The woman brought his blood to a boil every time he even looked at her. "Have you ever been there?"
    She licked her bottom lip, and instead of answering him, she slid down his body, proving to him she was worth every cent he'd paid.
         GRAY HAWK reached for Jordan, but came up empty-handed. He turned and finding her gone, sat up, his heart thumping madly. He frowned while running his fingers through his hair. Last night they'd spent little time talking, yet now that he looked back, he knew by the urgency of her lovemaking that she was saying goodbye.
    But why?
    Even as he wondered, he knew why...his people's hatred had been too much. She would not stay with him, even though he wished she would.
    Now she was alone, traveling by herself in dangerous territory. Any number of tribes could take her captive, but despite that threat, she had left.
    The anger he felt toward his people was enough to choke him. He dressed quickly, his heart pounding, his anger growing with every second. He would go after her, but only after he had his say. His people would feel his wrath.
    He stepped from the teepee, and stopped, noticing many of his people crowded around the campfire. Muffled cries filled the air, and all talking came to an abrupt stop as Iron Bear turned to him, his gaze scathing as Gray Hawk approached.
    All the mens hair had been unbraided. The womens wailing grew with every step that brought him closer.
    His father was dead.
    Tears burned the back of his eyes as his gaze shifted to Three Moons' teepee, then back to his brother.
    All his life he had prepared for this moment. His father had spent endless time telling him what he expected of him as chief of their people. Yet now as he looked at every face, each bringing a memory, he felt incapable of the task set before him.
    The silence was deafening. His gaze found Running Deer standing not far from his brother, her smile triumphant, and he had to wonder why she was so happy. His father was dead.
    He stopped before his brother. Iron Bear's eyes were cold and penetrating, his jaw tight, the nerve pulsing there. Gray Hawk stared at him for a long moment. "You will make a fine chief, Iron Bear," he said. "You deserve the honor much more than I do."
    A gasp rang out over the crowd, and Gray Hawk saw the look of disbelief on his brother's face. He turned and addressed his people. "Iron Bear is now your chief. I would ask that you join me this night in celebrating the passing of a father's legacy to his son." Tears welled in his eyes, and Gray Hawk had to blink them back. "He will be a fine chief and lead you well."
    As he walked toward Three Moons' teepee, he passed by Tawanka, whose smile was wide, telling him he had done the right thing.
    A fire was lit in his father's tipi, taking the chill off the morning. Three Moons lay with his arms crossed over his chest, looking more peaceful than Gray Hawk had ever seen him. The tears that had been threatening flowed freely, and though he knew his father had always told him tears were a sign of weakness, he was helpless to stop them, nor did he want to.
    Last night he should have told his father how much he loved him, how proud he was to have called him his father. Now he would never have that chance.
    "I don't understand," Iron Bear's voice reached him.
    Every muscle in Gray Hawk's body tensed. He wiped the tears with the back of his hand and turned. "You are better suited to be their leader than I am. You were right all along, I don't deserve to be their chief...but you do."
    "But our father--"
    "Wanted the best person to take over for our people. You've reminded me too many times in the past that I yearn to be other than what I am. I think you're right, and what's even worse is that now, when I've been treated terribly by the whites, I still would live among them, take their hate and their bigotry as long as I had Jordan."
    "She left this morning."
    "I know."
    "Will you go after her?" Iron Bear asked, his voice softer than Gray Hawk had ever heard it.
    "Soon, but first I will say goodbye to our father and to my people, for I don't know when I'll see you again."
    Iron Bear nodded and put a hand on Gray Hawk's shoulder. It was the first time in their lives he'd shown any emotion other than hatred. "For all my life I lived in your shadow. When you were a child, I hated the way our father spent most of his time with you. And always you could do no wrong. No matter what I did, how hard I tried, he would never look at me the way he looked at you. In time I felt the only way to try and best you was to hurt you, but now I realize how wrong I've been. You've only wanted the best for me, when in turn I wanted the worst for you. Now, after all I've done to you, you are giving me what I've wanted most of all." He shook his head. "How can I take it, Gray Hawk? How can I when I know in my heart, it is not me who deserves it, but you. Our father wanted you--"
    Gray Hawk shook his head. "That's where you're wrong. Our father wants the man who can lead our tribe against our enemies. He loved you Iron Bear, you just chose not to see it. He often talked of your bravery." He smiled softly. "As well as the unnecessary chances you would take, but he also respected that, knowing you would go to any lengths for your people. If you think of this as a gift, then so be it. I look at it as your right--a right you deserve and one you have proven yourself worthy of." He took a long, unsteady breath. "Now, your people are waiting for you."
    Iron Bear took the step that separated them and hugged him tightly. For the first time that he could remember, Gray Hawk felt he truly had a brother again, and he knew for certain he had done the right thing.
         KARI HELD her hands over the stove, trying to get warm. The days were getting more frigid, and just this morning Shane mentioned a chance of snow.
    Jordan and Gray Hawk had been gone for weeks now, and though Kari knew her cousin might be gone until spring, she already missed her horribly, and secretly prayed for her return.
    Her father hadn't come around since that day, and word had it he had left town, along with a young prostitute who he never let out of his sight. Kari shook her head. If Patricia only knew, she would kill him.
    It was too much to hope that he had gone back to Virginia. She suspected he was just waiting for the moment when Jordan showed her face.
    Well, he would have a long wait then.
    She was grateful for Shane Catalono's protection. In a lot of ways she felt guilty, knowing that she brought all this on him, putting him and his family in danger. Had she and Jordan just left for Fife, none of this would have happened. But then again, Gray Hawk wouldn't have taken Rebecca from the Crow, and knowing the dreaded tribe, Shane probably wouldn't have made it out alive.
    All things happened for a reason, and fate had seen to it to bring Shane Catalono into her life.
    Just the sight of the handsome rancher made her heart skitter. She feared she was in love with Shane, but didn't know how to go about gaining his attention more than what she was already doing, which was little more than stealing quick glances, or sharing a quick word.
    She knew Shane was twice her age, but she didn't care. There wasn't a man around who made her feel the way he did. And when he looked at her with those blue eyes, her stomach turned inside out.
    Hearing the sound of his boots on the front porch, she quickly ran her fingers through her hair, straightened her apron, and returned to frosting the cake she had made that afternoon.
    "Mmm, smells great," he said from the other room.
    She smiled at the compliment. Less than a year ago she couldn't even bake a cake, or do any of the domestic things that now came like second nature to her. Sure, she did burn things on occasion, but it was rare. Strange that a woman who had grown up expecting to have a team of servants to see to her every need, had come to realize she could do all those things herself, and actually enjoyed doing it.
    Shane walked into the room, making her thoughts scatter. As she watched him she noticed his hair was getting longer, and she had to admit that she kind of liked the way it curled up at his shirt collar. And there was something very appealing about his unshaved jaw that gave him an almost dangerous appearance.
    He came up beside her and took a finger full of frosting. "Shane!"
    "What?" he asked, grinning from ear to ear.
    Licking the frosting off his finger, he leaned his hip against the counter, watching her with those beautiful eyes of his. He grinned. "It's the best frosting I've ever had." Was it her imagination or were his eyes darker now than they had been a minute before?
    The way he was watching her gave Kari the impression he was about to kiss her. Her lips parted, waiting.
    Then the front door opened, then slammed, and Rebecca and Tanner came running in, nearly knocking Kari over in their haste to get to the cake.
    Shane closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he turned to the kids who were already fighting over who would get to lick the spoons.
    "Later," he said just low enough for her to hear. Her pulse skittered as his eyes held hers, promising her he would finish what he started.
    Throughout dinner, Kari could sense his gaze on her. Feeling like a schoolgirl, she couldn't keep the smile off her face, or the blush from her cheeks.
    Then a loud knock pounded on the door, ending her joyful mood. Shane stood up and motioned for them to be quiet.
    Kari waited, listening intently as Shane opened the door. Several moments passed without anyone speaking. Then she heard voices, and then footsteps coming toward the kitchen. With her gaze riveted on the kitchen entrance, she waited nervously, holding her breath, half-expecting her father to come around the corner.
    She let out her breath in a rush as Jordan walked in.
    "Jordan!" Kari cried, standing so fast, she knocked her chair over in her haste as she threw her arms around her cousin. "I didn't expect you back this soon. But look at you, you're so cold and I'll bet you're exhausted."
    Kari put her at arms length and though Jordan had a smile for her, she saw sadness in her eyes. "Where's Gray Hawk?"
    Jordan averted her gaze. "He's staying with his people."
    "Why did you come back?"
    She met her gaze once again, and Kari clearly saw the pain there. "We need to talk."
    It wasn't only the way she said it, but how she looked when she said it that worried Kari. "Alright, but why don't you eat first."
    Jordan accepted the hugs from the kids, then took a seat.
    After eating a few bites, she pushed her plate back, rested her arms on the table, and waited for Tanner and Rebecca to leave the room before saying, "I've given it a lot of thought, and I think it's best to turn myself in."
    "Jordan, no."
    "We can't keep on running for the rest of our lives. I want my ranch, Kari. I'd rather spend time in jail than return to Virginia and marry Marvin. I'd die first."
    "He'll insist we go back to Virginia. How can we stop him?" Kari asked, sending Shane a worried look, not liking the idea of facing her father after all this time.
    "By telling him the truth. That I love someone else, and that I'm...pregnant."
    Kari sat back in her chair, her breath leaving her in a rush. "You're pregnant?" she gasped in disbelief.
    "Does Gray Hawk know?" Shane cut in.
    She shook her head. "No, but it doesn't matter."
    "Jordan, if you're carrying his child, he has every right to know."
    Jordan smiled tightly at Shane. "I understand what you're trying to say, and I wanted to tell him, I truly did, but when we returned to his village, his father was dying. In fact, he's probably already dead."
    "And Gray Hawk is chief," Kari said, her voice little more than a whisper.
    Jordan nodded.
    Kari ran her hands down her face, her heart aching for her cousin. "Jordan, I'm so sorry."
    "Don't be. It was a mistake. I should have known better, but now I'm going to have a child, and I plan to raise that child on my ranch. I'll give him or her a good life."