Surrender to the Earl (20 page)

“Thank you.”

The puppy was all big paws and floppy ears, and pulled as hard as he could to lead Robert around the back, toward his home in the barn.

Mr. Sanford was repairing a broken rail in the paddock fence, then glanced up as Robert approached. He frowned down at the puppy. “I told Miss Collins the puppy weren’t a good idea. Mrs. Blake is sendin’ it back?”

“Not at all, I’m simply taking it for a stroll.”

Mr. Sanford’s expression only darkened. “A puppy is just another thing a blind woman can’t take care of. Comin’ here, tryin’ to prove herself independent—it isn’t right to worry her father like this. And I know all about worry.”

Robert eyed the man with speculation. Much as he wanted to rebuke him, he remained silent to see what else he might say.

“She should go home,” Mr. Sanford continued, “not that it’s me place to say such a thing, beggin’ yer pardon, milord.”

Why bring up Audrey’s father as her guardian rather than him, the man who intended to marry her?

The servants had been a puzzle from the beginning, and Robert wasn’t satisfied that all was well between them and Audrey. After the puppy had relieved himself, he led him back inside. It took some time to find Audrey, because he hadn’t thought she’d have reason to be in the kitchen.

He found her holding Louisa’s little boy, talking to him earnestly as he met her gaze. Louisa was stirring a pot over the fire, looking over her shoulder again and again at Audrey.

Robert felt a chill of unease. “Audrey?”

She lifted her head and her smile seemed all that was normal. “Do you still have the puppy, Robert?”

“I do.”

“I was just telling Arthur about him.” She set the little boy on his feet. “We still have to think of a name, Arthur.”

The puppy sniffed the boy’s toes, making him laugh.

Audrey smiled up at Robert, and it was probably a good thing she couldn’t see that he didn’t return her smile.

“Why are you here?” he asked quietly.

Her smile faded. “You sound concerned, when it’s unnecessary. I am simply helping where I’m needed.” She lowered her voice. “I have a duty to this baby, almost as if he were my ward.”

Robert felt her words like a twist to his gut. “Blake’s estate provides for him. You owe him nothing else.”

“I understand your words, but I can’t quite feel that way.”

It was because of the babe she lost, he knew, the babe that would have been Arthur’s age. He couldn’t even imagine the heartache she had felt, the memories this little boy stirred up. But he couldn’t talk to her about it without betraying Blythe’s confidences, just as the sisters were becoming closer.

“Arthur,” Louisa said, walking across the kitchen toward them, “come to me and leave his lordship be.”

Audrey patted Arthur briefly on the head, and seemed to have no qualms about returning him to the care of his mother. But it couldn’t be good for her to see the boy day in and day out, to dwell on all she had lost. Somehow, he had to make her see that with him, she could have her own babies, that they could have a good life together—that he could make her happy.

But how to show her she could trust him? All he could do was continue to spend as much time as possible with her.

Robert followed Audrey back into the entrance hall, listening as she laughed at the puppy, who jumped repeatedly at her skirts.

“A puppy!” Molly rushed down the stairs, Francis behind her. “Francis told me, but I couldn’t quite believe that Miss Blythe—” She broke off, blushing.

Audrey smiled. “It’s hard to believe how different my relationship with my sister has become, isn’t it?”

“Perhaps it was for the best I took ill when I did,” Molly said. “It gave you two the chance to be together.”

“I will never think it good that you took ill,” Audrey scolded. “But doesn’t the puppy just feel wonderfully soft? We must come up with a name.”

Molly dropped to her knees, then smiled up into Francis’s indulgent, besotted expression. Robert saw where this infatuation was headed, and knew that in his father’s household, such fraternization would never have been tolerated. But Audrey was unconventional—everything about her. That was one of the reasons he was drawn to her.

“I’ll take charge of the puppy, miss,” Molly said. “It will do me good to have a little exercise.”

“If you’re certain . . .” Audrey began.

“She’s certain,” Robert interrupted. “Audrey, might I speak with you in the drawing room?”

She seemed almost nervous preceding him in, and she started talking before he could.

“I’m not just hosting a tenant feast, Robert. Eventually I’m going to have my own dinner party. You’ll be able to reacquaint yourself with the young ladies of the village.”

“Are you matchmaking to rid yourself of me?”

She blinked a moment, and he hoped she was considering how lonely they’d be without each other.

“I simply want you to see all the young women who’ll be awaiting a heroic former officer.”

“Heroic?” he echoed, the word distasteful in his mouth. “I’m no hero, Audrey. I’ve told you this before.”

“Why do you sound so strained, Robert?” she asked. “You speak so little of your military life—frankly, you’ve said almost nothing at all.”

He could tell she focused every one of her senses on him, and he didn’t like what he’d revealed.

“Because it is not fit conversation for a lady,” he answered.

There was a long, meaningful silence between them, and he realized her struggle not to question him more. For just this moment, he was relieved she was trying to keep her distance.

But he was about to give her ample opportunity to discover more about him.

“I came here for another reason,” he said. “I received word that my friend, Viscount Sergeant Blackthorne, is bringing his wife to visit me at Knightsbridge Hall tomorrow.”

“Blackthorne? He is one of the men who served with you?”

“He is. Apparently he mentioned my newly engaged status to his wife, and she’d like to meet us both. She is the daughter of our former commander, a man we all admired.”

And whose death we caused.

He had hoped he had his guilt well under control by helping Audrey, but perhaps it would never go away, he thought bleakly. It was a shameful secret that sometimes haunted his dreams.

Audrey was still hesitating, perhaps dissecting his words too much.

“And you can bring Blythe, of course, and who knows what men she’ll meet? And Audrey,” he added in a more thoughtful tone. “I’d like you to meet them.”

“Very well,” she said reluctantly. “We will come to you tomorrow.”

“Then I will head home to make the arrangements. Go enjoy your new puppy.”

He knew he’d not been quite fair, luring her with things she could not refuse. She’d probably realized it. But all was fair in love—or at least in courtship.

Chapter 20

T
hat evening as they sat in the drawing room doing their needlework, Audrey told Blythe about Robert’s invitation.

“Invited to Knightsbridge Hall?” Blythe said, excitement laced through her voice. “My friends have described it, and it sounds practically royal in size and decor.”

Audrey didn’t like the uneasiness that rattled her. She had faced and overcome so many challenges in her life. She concentrated on the fact that Robert wanted her to meet one of his closest friends. She shouldn’t feel such a softening in her heart over this. But she couldn’t help thinking that he was a man who was never embarrassed about her, not since the beginning. And he’d continued to prove it over and over, escorting her to her new village, to a stranger’s house for dinner, and now to his own ancestral home.

And each day they were separated, she yearned to be with him, and only felt truly happy when she could hear his voice, consult him about her estate—her very life.

Was she making a mistake by denying him?

Had she been so focused on her past, and on what one shallow man had done to her, that she couldn’t be open-minded, openhearted, about Robert? Just the thought that she was willing to entertain these ideas showed her he meant more to her than she’d ever planned. She wouldn’t have Blythe forever, nor even Molly, who seemed more and more in love with her footman as he helped her back to health.

But she could have Robert—and perhaps a family.

The thought seemed to paralyze her with fear, and something must have shown on her face.

“Audrey, is something wrong?” Blythe asked. “You look . . . I don’t know how you look. Oh, dear, I’ve been so selfish once again. You don’t want to visit Robert’s home, do you?”

Audrey licked her suddenly dry lips. “I admit I have my concerns, but I wouldn’t have mentioned it if I hadn’t already decided to accept the invitation.”

“You like being with him, don’t you?”

“He is a nice man.”

Blythe actually laughed, and Audrey tossed a skein of yarn at her.

“Nice man?” Blythe repeated, still giggling. “Oh, Audrey, you are falling in love with him. Why is that so terrible? He is nothing like your first husband.”

Falling in love with him? She wouldn’t even consider such a weakness, such an open avenue to heartache.

“I know he’s not Martin. But this is in my home, where he’s a guest. Perhaps . . . perhaps I want to see what he’s like in his own home, with his friends.”

“Ah, because you’re finally giving some real thought to becoming his wife.”

And that was true. And frightening. And—she didn’t know what. It was as if now that she’d come to terms with Martin and what he’d done to her, she was able to put it behind her, to see a future uncluttered by betrayal. Could she find love—real love—with Robert?

W
hen Audrey and Blythe arrived at Knightsbridge Hall early the next afternoon, Audrey had already listened impassively to Blythe’s glowing description of the castle exterior, the oldest wings to the newest, and her imagination wasn’t able to produce an image in her head. It all felt . . . unreal. When they arrived in the entrance hall, she could hear their footsteps echo away into vastness. Blythe gave an awestruck gasp. It was all Audrey needed to know about the impressiveness of Robert’s country seat.

“Good morning, Audrey.”

Robert’s voice rang with pleasure, and she wasn’t certain it was because of her, or because at last she’d come to see what she’d give up if she didn’t marry him.

Did he not realize his large household might be an impediment to a blind woman? Not that she planned to make any decisions because of a house, but she found herself uneasy. There were so many steps to the nearest drawing room, and she’d heard Robert tell his butler to use the Blue Drawing Room, as if there were so many rooms they had to separate them by color.

As they walked, Robert took her arm and said quietly, “I’m so glad you came.”

“Did you think I wouldn’t?”

“No, you’re a woman of your word. I just wanted you to know that I’m simply glad to see you here.”

She lowered her voice. “Here in this home you think I can be a part of.”

“Think? You would have this place in tip-top shape in no time. My butler is badly overtaxed, as is my housekeeper, since they only have me to consult—and didn’t even have me for so many years.”

Audrey said nothing, trying to imagine herself here, where the furnishings were probably so far apart she’d have trouble counting steps between. It was a little intimidating—and challenging. She’d begun to realize in the last few weeks that she liked a challenge.

“We’ve entered the drawing room,” he said in her ear. “Blackthorne and his wife are seated on the sofa facing us as we approach. Blackthorne is a soldier, one of those dark, brooding types who never planned to be anything but a soldier. No ambition in life.”

“I heard that,” said the man himself, his tone dry and amused.

“Then I shall be forced to introduce him,” Robert continued. “Viscount Blackthorne, may I present my fiancée, Mrs. Audrey Blake, and her sister, Miss Blythe Collins.”

“It is a pleasure to meet the woman who has tamed such a headstrong rogue,” Lord Blackthorne said.

“Tamed?” Audrey echoed. “I am not certain that is the correct term. I believe he has quite trampled all over my intentions.”

“I am not so headstrong as all that,” Robert said. “Audrey, Blythe, meet Lady Blackthorne, once Lady Cecilia Mallory, daughter of our late commander, the Earl of Appertan.”

“Ah,” Audrey said, “so you met each other through the military. It sounds very romantic.”

She heard Lord Blackthorne chuckle quietly, while his wife laughed aloud.

“Mrs. Blake,” Lady Blackthorne said, “there was nothing romantic about it. I quite believe I was desperate for a husband.”

Blythe spoke up. “And Audrey was desperate for a fiancé. You all have much in common.”

Audrey winced at her sister’s indelicacy. Perhaps Robert had wanted nothing mentioned about how they’d come to be together.

But Robert only laughed and said, “Let us sit down and exchange stories. There’s a tea tray we may share until luncheon is ready.”

A servant took their cloaks, and Audrey asked if she could serve the tea. Perhaps Robert would wish to show that she was
almost
just like any other young lady.

When they were sipping tea, Blythe was the first one who returned to the topic of marriage. “Lady Blackthorne, do forgive my curiosity, but how can a military marriage not be romantic?”

The woman sighed, yet her voice was amused as she said, “Due to many reasons, I needed access to my inheritance, and the only way I could have that, was to marry. I had been corresponding with Michael for months after my father’s death, and thought he’d be able to help me.”

“Corresponding?” Audrey said. “He was still in India?”

“I attended the wedding,” Robert said. “In India. Without a bride.”

“You married by proxy,” Blythe breathed, sounding awed. “Surely you had met him before.”

“No, I hadn’t,” Lady Blackthorne answered. “I thought he was a man my father’s age.”

“She thought I’d keel over rather quickly,” Lord Blackthorne explained. “Imagine her surprise when I showed up at her door a month ago.”

Lady Blackthorne chuckled. “And he thought I was desperate to marry because I was a plain spinster.”

“They make a very handsome couple,” Blythe told Audrey. “And they seem very much in love.”

Audrey winced. “Blythe, perhaps they don’t want their personal business discussed so openly.”

“Oh, no,” Lady Blackthorne said, “Miss Collins is correct.”

“We make a handsome couple,” Lord Blackthorne said somberly.

Everyone laughed.

“But in truth,” he continued, “we were very lucky to fall in love.”

“I do believe it was destiny,” his wife responded softly, “since I had had no intention of ever even meeting Michael, or having a proper marriage.”

Audrey could hear the emotion in their voices, imagined them looking into each other’s eyes, and felt her own heart constrict. She’d been telling herself all along she’d never marry, just like Lady Blackthorne, but since she’d met Robert, one by one her defenses were falling apart, until she was left vulnerable to him. She hated feeling needy, but did every woman feel that way when confronted with the enormity of her growing emotional attachment to a man?

“And she must be in love with me,” Lord Blackthorne said, “because I’ll be remaining with the army, and she’ll be living at least half of each year in India with me.”

“Didn’t you spend much of your childhood there, Lady Blackthorne?” Robert asked. “I remember your father speaking of you often and fondly.”

“Thank you for telling me, Lord Knightsbridge,” she said. “Not all of my memories of India are good ones, yet I will have much to occupy myself when we live there.”

“It seems she has a better head for estate management than I do,” Lord Blackthorne said. “My brother used to oversee my estate, but Cecilia will be taking over.”

Surprised, Audrey added another intriguing layer to the puzzle of Robert’s friends.

“Brilliant,” Robert said, clapping his hands together. “Lady Blackthorne and Audrey should have much to discuss. Audrey inherited Blake’s estate and has been in charge for several weeks now. It’s going very well.”

“You’ve been of much help, Robert,” Audrey insisted, feeling her cheeks heat.

“Won’t you all call me Cecilia?” she said. “We have so many interesting conversations ahead of us.”

They all went into luncheon together, and Audrey thought about these two military men, each involved with unconventional women, and not threatened by it. How many other men could be like them? Could she risk letting Robert go, all because she was afraid?

And did she want to be alone? When she’d sent him away, she’d been so sad and lonely at the prospect of a day without a visit from him.

But maybe she was being selfish. Robert professed to admire her and like her, but no words of love had ever been exchanged. And she didn’t even know if she loved
him
! How was she supposed to decide what was best for them both, if she didn’t even know her own mind?

T
hroughout luncheon, Robert found his gaze returning again and again to Audrey from his place at the head of the table. She sat on his left, Michael on his right, two very important people in his life.

He hadn’t known how the day might go, if Audrey would allow her embarrassment over their false engagement to leave her stilted with Michael and his wife, but that hadn’t happened. Audrey had been as taken with Cecilia as Robert was, and was already plying her with many questions about the Appertan estates, which she’d been managing during her brother’s minority. Robert guessed that there was more going on behind the Blackthornes’ words, that their relationship had perhaps a rockier start than they were letting on, but that was something to question Michael about later.

During a lull in the conversation, he asked Michael, “Have you heard from Rothford?”

“The Duke of Rothford?” Blythe interjected, wide-eyed. “Robert, how do you know so many peers when you’ve been in India for so long?”

He smiled. “Rothford returned from India with us. He, too, had been with the Eighth Dragoons.”

“I haven’t gone to London since our initial arrival,” Michael said. “You stayed there longer than I.”

“And he was quite absent from any event I attended,” Robert admitted. “I will be very curious when he finally does return to Society.”

He saw Audrey looking intrigued, and Cecilia, staring down as she ate, wearing a knowing smile. Had Michael told Cecilia everything—every reason they had come to England? And had she accepted that guilt motivated their actions? Michael had tried to deny it to himself, felt he’d made a battlefield decision and should not feel guilty. And how had
that
worked out for him with his wife?

Robert steered the conversation away from Rothford and any other guilty memories. After luncheon, Cecilia asked for a tour of the mansion, and he obliged them, listening as Blythe expounded in detail where she thought her sister should know more.

He watched Audrey more than anyone, wondered if the thought of this old mausoleum would set her even further against him, but she seemed interested, asking questions about the history of the hall and his family.

At last the ladies decided to rest before dinner, and Robert looked at Michael. “Shall we have a brandy?”

“Most definitely.”

Michael followed him, still with the slight limp from wounds he’d sustained several months before.

“You are doing well?” Robert asked as they entered his study, and he closed the door behind his friend.

“Much better, thank you. I no longer need the cane, at least.”

As Robert poured, offered a glass, then sat beside his friend, he felt Michael’s regard.

“When you planned to return home to help Audrey,” Michael mused, “none of us knew she was blind.”

Robert nodded, sipping, then feeling the heat of the brandy coat his stomach.

“And now you’re engaged. That seems . . . quick.”

“As quick as a proxy marriage?” Robert grinned.

Michael smiled back. “You have me there.” His smile faded. “Take it from a man who almost lost his wife because she was determined to annul our marriage—”

“She had such a strong negative reaction once she met you?” Robert quipped.

“Just listen. I wasn’t honest with her at the beginning about our involvement in the death of her father—in the death of Audrey’s husband. Have you explained it all to her?”

Robert shook his head. “Not yet. I’ve been too busy trying to keep her from breaking the engagement.”

“That sounds familiar,” Michael said dryly. “But you should know that confessing our secret was not as bad as I thought, not when the woman is rational and understanding. Audrey seems that sort of woman.”

“I know. But we have other issues between us that are more important to me.”

“I won’t delve into your private affairs, but secrecy will just make everything worse.”

“I’ll take your advice under consideration. Now tell me, are you certain you want to take such a flower of England back to that hot hellhole where we’ve served?”