Surrounded by Pleasure (11 page)

“Ooookay, laughing’s better than crying,” Mikaela said,
easing down onto the couch.

Krista laughed for several more seconds before trying to
catch her breath. She wiped her eyes. “If I don’t laugh, I think I’ll scream.”

“Fair enough. I promised Toby I’d let him explain
everything to you. I just wanted to talk to you first. Make sure you’re okay. I
know this is quite a shocker.”

“No shit.”

“Um.” Mikaela played with her hands as she looked down,
and Krista frowned, never once remembering seeing Mikaela so nervous. “Look,
I’m going to leave all the shifting-into-cougar stuff to Toby—”

“Cougars? I thought they had black fur.”

Mikaela smiled. “Only some do, if they live deep enough
in the rainforest. Toby and his brothers are mountain lion shifters.” She took
a deep breath then squared her shoulders. “Anyway, what I will tell you is I
wasn’t one until I mated with Josh. You see, they have this strong mating
instinct that drives them to mate with any available female. The thing is that instinct
is so uncontrolled that they could force a mating. When that happens, the newly
turned female attacks back. Then there’s this fight-to-the-death thing. Clearly
messy.” She waved her hand. “I—”

“Oh. My. God. That’s why you wanted me to lie. If I came
out here and they knew I didn’t have a boyfriend—”

“Shhh!” Mikaela swatted her leg. “Not so loud.”

“Fine,” Krista gritted through a whisper. “If they knew
the
truth
, then you’re telling me
Toby would’ve attacked me, turned me into a mountain lion, and then I would’ve
fought him, and we would’ve killed each other? That’s insane!”

“No, honey.” Mikaela’s eyes were sad. “What I’m telling
you is if they knew the truth, every single one of them would’ve tried to rape
you, would’ve forced you into a life you didn’t want, and you would’ve been so
outraged, you would’ve attacked as soon as you were strong enough to fight
back.”

Krista blanched. “What the hell?” But there was no power
in her words. “W-Why did you ask me to come out here to help you if you knew
the dangers?”

Mikaela shrugged. “I like you. I love them. You seemed so
lonely, and I just wanted to try to put a little spice in your life while
seeing if it was possible for Josh’s brothers to find a mate and live through
it like he did.”

“So you, what? Tried to set me up with your feline
family? You had no right. No. Right. To control my life like that.”

Mikaela nodded. “I understand you’re angry, but it’s not
like I tried to arrange a marriage for you. If you didn’t hit it off with one
of the guys, then no harm done. If you did and I was able to bring two people
together who wouldn’t ordinarily meet, then it was a risk I was willing to
take.”

“My death was a risk you were willing to take?” Krista
asked incredulously.

“Oh, please. Don’t be so dramatic. If you kept up with
the story, then no harm done. And now you know how important it is to keep the
secret. If you want to come clean with Toby, do it after you leave.”

Krista sighed. What the hell was she going to do about
Toby? She couldn’t think about him specifically right now. It was easier to
generalize this situation.

“So, they can never leave? I mean if they attack
unattached women, then they’re basically stuck here.”

“Yeah. They’re stuck, which is why I wanted to help.”

Okay, Krista could see that, but she refused to
acknowledge it based on principle. She was still mad at Mikaela for being
deceitful, especially since they’d become friends over the last month. She’d
never been this close to another woman, not even her sister—

“Ariel,” Krista mumbled.

“Huh?”

“My sister. She’s a scientist. I wonder if she could
formulate something that’d subdue the part of the brain that controlled rage or
passion or whatever it is that triggers the need to attack available women. If
the guys had access to something like that, they wouldn’t be prisoners of this
land.”

Mikaela’s eyes sparkled. “That’s a great idea. Only. Um,
can she be trusted with this kind of information? This is a major family
secret. If the wrong people got wind of this—”

“She’s a professional, Mikaela. If it’d make you feel
better, we could draw up a contract outlining the penalties for divulging this
kind of information.”

“I knew you were a smart cookie.” She smiled but then
flinched. “What about her relationship status? It’d be easier if she were
actually involved with someone. One less thing to worry about, you know?”

Krista shook her head. “No need to worry about that. She
married Will, her high-school sweetheart. They’re the kind of couple that is so
lovey-dovey you wanna gag.”

“Good. Call her, see when she can meet. I’d like to get
started on this as soon as possible.”

“Okay.” Krista pulled out her cell phone and started
dialing her sister’s number. Focusing on a project was just the diversion she
needed right now.

“You’re taking this much better than I thought you
would.”

“Oh, I’m still pissed at you for not living by the
girlfriend code and providing full disclosure, but if I think about this
clinically, I don’t have to accept it. Not yet.”

Not until she talked to Toby. And she wasn’t sure she was
ready for that. Talking to him would make everything more real. Denial was much
more to her liking.

Her sister didn’t answer, so Krista left a message, stating
she needed her help professionally.

After Krista got off the phone, she stood. She might not
be ready to confront Toby, but she had a feeling she didn’t have a choice.

She was in love with him, but she didn’t really know him
at all. What did that say about her feelings?

She was scared to find out.

Chapter Eight

Toby paced in front of the couch at his cabin—the place
where he’d shared his life with Krista for the past month. God, he didn’t want
to lose her now. He still had almost two weeks with her, and he needed every
second of every day of her time remaining here to get his fill of her, knowing
deep down he never would, but he was unable to help himself. He loved her. He
wanted her. He knew it was wrong, but that didn’t matter. Her happiness was now
his. Her pain his. And the look on her face when she saw the scene unfold,
realized what was happening, it was like a thousand daggers piercing his heart.
He never wanted her to be afraid, to be hurt in any way, but in that moment
he’d destroyed her confidence, her trust.

Maybe it was for the best. It wasn’t like he could have
her. Maybe she needed to see him for what he truly was. From the look in her
eyes, she wouldn’t accept easily. If he loved her as much as he believed he
did, he would push her away, make her hate him so it’d be easier on her to move
on with her life. But he wasn’t that strong.

God, he didn’t know what to do, and grinding a path into
the hardwood as he paced didn’t seem to be helping one bit.

He heard the front door open and spun around. “Krista,”
he breathed. She looked so lost, and he was frozen in place, battling the urge
to run to her, unable to decide if she needed immediate comfort or space. She
stared at him wearily, and he fucking hated it. “Baby—”

“Stop.” Her hand flew up to cut him off. “Just explain to
me what the hell is going on. All Mikaela said was that you’re stuck here
because of some lethal instinct to mate with available women and figured I
would be safe with a boyfriend. But she didn’t explain anything else.”

“I.” The catch in his throat made him stop and clear it.
“I think you should sit down. This might take a while.”

She pursed her lips as she stared at him. After several
seconds, she nodded and walked toward him; she sat on the opposite side of the
couch from where he was standing. He sighed before sitting down, keeping the
distance she’d put between them.

“We’re mountain lion shifters through my father’s side of
the family,” he said slowly, starting the dreadful conversation. “Or at least
we assume it’s a family trait since his parents died before he could ever learn
the truth.”

“And poof he just changed one day out of the blue?”

“Er, you’d have to ask him. We’ve tried, but he’s quiet
about his past. Only saying he was lucky our mother would have him, and that
was that.” He shrugged.

She nodded, looking away before making eye contact again.
He didn’t interrupt. Instead, he preferred to let her set the pace. “So, you’ve
always been here. Never leaving this land?”

“Um, no. My brothers and I used to go to a public school.
We were okay around females until we hit puberty. One-by-one, my parents took
us out of school, not wanting to pull us all out at the same time. They wanted
us to live a normal life as long as possible, so as soon as one of us started
changing, they yanked that person out. Eric—he was the youngest—had the hardest
time letting go. He stayed in touch with all his friends, which made it
difficult to explain why he couldn’t be around them ever again, but somehow
Eric worked around that.”

The few seconds of silence stretched into minutes as he
watched and waited for her to say something again. It was agonizing, but he
forced himself not to grovel at her feet, begging her to stay, or to put up
emotional walls and ask her to leave. He didn’t want her to hate him, and he
feared there was no way around that.

“I don’t even know what to say, Toby. This is so
unbelievable. I mean, I know it’s true. I saw it with my own eyes, but I’m
having a really hard time wrapping my head around it.”

He blew out a slow breath as he looked straight ahead. It
was easier if he didn’t look at her. “I know this is hard for you.” What else
could he say?
Please don’t go? Please
accept me for who I am? Please don’t accept me and run away now?
Nothing
felt right.

“So, what made you decide to try sleeping with attached
women?”

“We used to have a tutor who was married. A little old
thing, but married. And Eric got to thinking maybe we could have female
companionship if the lady in question was unavailable. I mean, we didn’t try
attacking our mother or our tutor. So he tried it, and it worked. Soon we’d
developed online relationships with swingers. Dad built these cabins, so we’d
have a place to fuck without being on top of each other. For a while it worked.
Until one of the regulars Eric fucked came out here and told him she’d gotten
divorced. He turned her, and they killed each other. We stopped bringing women around
after that.” He dropped his head into his hands and rubbed his face. He felt so
cheap telling the woman he loved he used to bring women out here just to fuck
without any emotional attachment.

“I-I think I get it.”

His head snapped up. How the hell could she get it when
he didn’t even get it? Whatever the hell
it
was. “Care to explain that to me?” he snapped.

She frowned at him. “I just understand your dilemma.”

“My
dilemma
?
Jesus, Krista, being a shifter is more than a dilemma. It’s my life!”

“Okay, maybe that was the wrong word,” she said quickly,
throwing her hands up in placation. He could see her eyes working, as if she
were thinking hard about something. “But it’s not like you’d ever hurt me.”

“Did you not just hear what I said about Eric? It can
happen.” Why did she not understand the dangers involved here?

She narrowed her eyes and put one hand on her hip. “I’ve
been living with you for the past month, Toby. I’m not scared of you.” She
hesitated after saying that as if she’d just realized the truth of that
herself.

He needed to coddle her and reassure her he would never
hurt her. Even if his heart and his brain were fighting over the right thing to
do, he knew that to be true. Hell, he’d put himself in danger and gladly die if
it meant her safety.

“And I have a boyfriend.”

Something inside him snapped. All the wavering he’d done
on what was right or wrong and what he should do about her was now irrelevant.
She was his. His! How dare she consider letting another man have her. “Yet here
you are with me,” he growled as he shot to his feet.

Her eyes got really big as she braced both hands on the
couch beside her thighs. Her beautiful thighs she’d wrapped around his body
nightly over the last month.

“Toby,” she squeaked, but it was too late. He was too far
gone.

He grabbed her, hauled her to her feet, spun her around,
and pinned her to the wall. “C’mon, baby. You said you weren’t scared of me.”

“I-I’m not.”

“You don’t sound very convincing,” he taunted. He leaned
down and kissed her neck gently as he grinded himself roughly against her. “If
you love your boyfriend so much, why did you let me fuck you in every position?
Take your virginity, for Christ’s sake?”

“I, um, T-Toby, why are you doing this?”

He bit her shoulder hard, not enough to break the skin
but enough to leave a mark of possession, and she cried out. “Because you’re
mine, and you seemed to have forgotten that.”