Surviving Seduction (34 page)

Dan’s brows creased deeply as he listened. “Where was I when this was happening?”

She shrugged. “You just weren’t around at those times, except for that day at the dining hal –”

“When you asked where Jack was?” he interjected quickly.

Selena nodded.

“You came back in with him.”

“He saw it happen,” Selena admitted. “He’s the only one who has.”

Dan was not happy about that. “Why didn’t you tel me?” he asked in a tone that was gentle but stern.

She didn’t want to answer the question, but reminded herself of her resolve. After the war he’d just waged with himself to accommodate her wishes, she couldn’t shut down now.

She closed her eyes. “I didn’t want you to know because I didn’t want to seem weak.”

When she opened them again, she saw that he’d fixed her with a skeptical look. He didn’t understand.

“I want to tel you something, Dan,” she said, frowning, “and I want you to take it seriously.” She had to pause to figure out an explanation that made sense. “You are ... wel , it’s hard to stand next to you.”

She could tel he wanted to honor her request, but he seemed a little incredulous. He rubbed the back of his neck as he tried to digest her words.

“If you’re thinking it shouldn’t be an issue because I’m a woman, you’re wrong,” she informed him. “Even if I’m
your
woman. In fact, it’s harder, trying to feel like your equal.”

Dan thought for a moment before he answered. “So that’s what that was al about,” he murmured, and Selena knew he was referring to what had just happened between them. He seemed perturbed about her last statement, as though it didn’t make sense. “Selena,” he sighed patiently,

“we are equals. You’re more than my equal. There are so many things you can do. You can heal people, you are an incredible leatherworker, and you can fight. The only thing I’m better at than you is kil ing, and that’s not something to be proud of. You’ve done it yourself, so you know what it’s like. I’ve taken a lot of lives, and they’re burdens, not trophies. What would make you feel like my equal? The same body-count?”

Selena pondered his words. She hadn’t real y thought about it like that. He had a point. “You’re better at other things,” she put in. “You’re physical y better than me in every way.”

He gave her a sly smile, glancing up and down her body. “Doesn’t look like it from here.”

“It does from here,” she returned, mirroring his expression.

His smile widened and he brushed her hair behind her ear.

“You know what I meant,” she added.

He rol ed her onto her back and positioned himself over her, his face just inches away. “Don’t you like what makes us different?” he asked, his voice deep and soothing.

“Yes,” she answered after a pause.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to compete with me, Selena,” he said earnestly, cradling her face with both hands. “I want us to be on the same team. I want it to be us versus whatever the world throws our way. I want you to be there. Do you understand?”

She didn’t think she could answer in a steady voice, so she nodded, overwhelmed by his sincerity.

“And you know what else?” he went on. “We have our disagreements, but if you and I thought the same way, we’d have nothing to offer each other.”

we’d have nothing to offer each other.”

Selena smiled. Once again, she found herself admiring him, this time for his wisdom. Why hadn’t these things occurred to her? She grew serious quickly, ashamed by the knowledge that he was the force carrying their relationship. They stil hadn’t resolved her weakness.

“As far as your feelings about how we live,” he went on as if he’d plucked the thought right from her mind, “I wouldn’t expect anything different from you. I don’t have an answer yet, but I wil fix this. We just need to survive long enough for me to do that.”

Selena nodded again, her eyes misting. His reassurance resonated deeply inside. She realized then that this was just what she had been longing for.

He regarded her patiently for a moment, and then leaned down to kiss her with careful deliberation. A combination of relief and possessive desire flooded her senses as she felt his lips. It was a sound kiss, and she couldn’t have been more satisfied in that moment.

“Let’s get some sleep,” he murmured.

They final y got under the covers, and he rol ed her onto her other side, tugging her in close so her back was pressed against his chest. His arm wrapped around her middle.

Selena felt her exhaustion catch up with her, and was slipping from consciousness quickly when she heard Dan’s whisper.

“Don’t forget that you saved my life. I never wil .”

She took his strong hand in hers and pul ed it up to kiss it tenderly. Then she was asleep.

Selena woke to the touch of Dan’s lips in the early morning, and she smiled, pul ing her body close to his. It seemed as though only a moment had passed since their last kiss. He stroked her hair gently as she snuggled in against him. She couldn’t think of a better way to wake up.

The night before returned to her memory in a deluge and her smile widened with exhilarating satisfaction. The other memories weren’t far behind, and she sobered just as quickly.

Dan caressed her face and slowly got out of bed.

Selena watched him and could see that his demeanor had changed. She knew his thoughts were now enmeshed in the possible events of this grim day.

They got dressed in silence as Selena wondered if there were any possible way to prove her innocence, and what Josie would do if they couldn’t. She had so many people under her command, how could they stand up to her if she decided to punish them? Amy’s words haunted her. ,
When she’s been crossed, there’s no telling what’ll
happen. She was going to kill her own brother ...

He armed himself as he always did, and she fol owed suit. She hung a pouch from her belt, alongside her knife and sling, fil ing it with the stones from her pack.

When they had their weapons in place, Dan and Selena faced each other, and she found herself afraid.

“Dan.”

“I need you to be strong today,” he told her, taking her face in his hands and looking seriously into her eyes.

She drew a shaky breath and nodded.

He released her and turned toward the door. “Let’s go.”

She fol owed him out of the cabin and down the path as a dreadful sense of apprehension grew in the pit of her stomach. She had a bad feeling.

stomach. She had a bad feeling.

When they reached the fire pit, they found Blaire peeling a basket of apples. Her attention snapped to them immediately.

“There you are!” she exclaimed, standing to place her hands on her hips with a scowl. “I’ve had nothing but stories about you two, and I don’t appreciate second-hand information! Wel never mind that, you’ve been through enough. You’re coming with me. At least you aren’t late.”

Selena glanced up at Dan. He was eyeing Blaire warily. “I need to get everyone ready.”

Blaire waved him off dismissively. “I’ve got it under control. Tim is mounted up at the top of the hil . He’l run back to tel us as soon as he sees her coming. And everyone is getting prepared.” She’d steered her way behind them and was now forcibly pushing them along ahead of her toward the dining hal steps.

“What’s going on?” Selena asked.

“You two haven’t had a proper breakfast in God knows how long. I’m not having it, and I don’t care if Josie plans to try to kil us al today. You’re going to eat!”

“Blaire!” Dan said incredulously, stopping in his tracks. “I can’t do that now.”

“Nonsense!” she admonished, glaring up at him.

“Don’t ya remember what happened last time? That’s right.

You starved yourself for days and then had to fight al those men alone! How did that go? How do you think it would’ve went if you had some decent meals in your stomach? I’l tel you how it would’ve went. Selena wouldn’t have had to put that bastard out of his misery with nothing but a little knife.

And you wouldn’t have almost gotten yourself kil ed! Don’t test me on this Dan. You can take five goddamned minutes to eat!” With that, she threw al her weight into a shoulder-check that actual y managed to knock him forward a bit.

Dan shook his head in wonder as she continued shoving them along. Selena managed a sympathetic smile through her nervousness.

“I know,” Blaire went on as they marched up the stairs ahead of her. “You’re drowning with crazy women lately. Wel I’m the least crazy of ‘em! Just you keep that in mind!”

“Hey,” Selena protested weakly over her shoulder as they went inside.

“Wel I’m sorry to have to be the one to say so, honey, but you’re out of your mind. Word travels, and I heard you ran off because Josie wanted Dan for stud!”

“Jesus,” he whispered, running a hand over his face.

“You didn’t think he was going to do it! What got into you?”

Selena felt her face flame with embarrassment. The awkwardness of the moment was somewhat eased by the distracting presence of two plates neatly placed on the table with steel covers to keep the heat in.

“I- I just thought ...” Selena stammered as they made their way to their places opposite each other.

“What?” Blaire prodded brusquely, positioning herself at the head of the table. “What did you think? I can’t wait to hear this!”

“I didn’t think he wanted to leave me. I just thought he’d be better off doing what she wanted,” she whispered, staring down and feeling her eyes sting.

Even Blaire was quiet for a moment, then. “How could you have possibly believed that?” she asked a little more gently, which only made things worse. “I spent some time with that woman when she was visitin’, and I sure don’t know what she said to him, but I’l bet I can guess right at somethin’. What did she say about the kids they were supposed to have?”

Dan rested his forearms on the back of his chair and brought his face down on them.

Selena remembered the answer, but hadn’t thought much of it before.

“Were they both gonna be in charge?” Blaire pushed.

“No,” she whispered. “She said ... he wouldn’t have any claim to them.”

“Forget about whether he’d leave
you
!” Blaire cried.

“You didn’t think about his feelings about his kids? Have you two met?” She nearly shouted the last part and snatched the plate covers up before banging them on the table for emphasis. “Now eat!”

Dan final y lifted his head to look at his food.

Selena stared down at their plates at the same time.

His had a thin cut of steak, a pile of crispy potato chunks and three eggs, unbroken and cooked on each side.

Selena’s plate had the same potatoes, but alongside a beautiful omelet that looked like it had been stuffed with various veggies and bits of chicken.

Blaire couldn’t have been more right about Dan, and she had prepared exactly what each of them would like best. Selena saw a strange reflection of their personalities in these two plates of food, and when she sensed this, along with the miraculous care that Blaire had put in to crafting them, her chin trembled.

Dan glanced up at her and his eyes widened.

Selena burst into tears, covering her mouth with a trembling hand.

“Oh honey, come here!” Blaire begged, rushing over and throwing her arms around her. “I’m sorry I’m so brash!

Me and my loud insensitive mouth! There, there!”

Selena spun to face Blaire, burying herself in the portly woman’s cushy shoulder as she sobbed.

“Everyone here loves you, honey, and that includes me. We don’t want you goin’ anywhere, is al ,” she cooed, rubbing Selena’s back soothingly. “He loves you too, like nothin’ else, don’t you ever question it! He’d go to the ends nothin’ else, don’t you ever question it! He’d go to the ends of the earth for you!”

“I know,” Selena wept pitiful y. “I’m so stupid.”

“No, no. There, there. I shouldn’t have been so harsh.”

“Y-you w-weren’t,” Selena blubbered.

“Now don’t cry anymore, your food is getting cold!”

“Oh!” Selena wailed louder stil at the tragedy of her tears diminishing Blaire’s angelic efforts.

She heard Dan’s chair slide out, fol owed by the half-hearted clanking of his silverware as he began to eat.

“Th-the w-worst part is that I’m r-ruining his b-breakfast now!” she gasped, clutching Blaire harder stil .

She stopped hearing his silverware, and knew that she’d made it worse by bringing it up.

“Now don’t beat yourself up, honey, you’ve been through a lot lately and things have been so confusing.”

Blaire continued hugging her tenderly.

“Okay, okay!” she whispered, slowly pul ing away from Blaire and shaking her hands out.
And he just asked
me to be strong
.

“Here ya go, honey,” Blaire said misty-eyed, handing her a handkerchief and patting her on the shoulder sympathetical y. “Look, you’ve made me cry too.”

Selena let out a shuddering laugh, feeling a little better, but stil horribly embarrassed as she wiped her face and her nose. She couldn’t imagine what Dan must be thinking, and wanted to crawl under a rock rather than look at his face and let him see hers.

Out of respect for the astonishing blessing of the food on the table, she slid out her chair, plopped down and attacked her omelet defiantly.

Blaire sat at the head of the table and reached out to rub Selena’s shoulder supportively.

She tried to hide her face behind the curtain of her hair while she ate, as tears fel into her plate here and there.

When she peeked up at Dan, she found him staring back with a bewildered expression that told her he hadn’t no notion of what to expect next.

Selena hid her face behind one hand while continuing to eat with the other. His expression lingered in her mind as she ate. There was such an innocent quality about it, and she suddenly felt sorry for him in a way that made her smile. The smile gave way to a giggle.

Oh no.
she thought, helplessly glancing at Blaire and back at him again as her mirth defied her best efforts to contain it.

Blaire flicked her gaze to Dan too, and, seeing the same dazed look Selena had seen, her mouth spread into a wide grin. She began to chuckle.