Survivor (16 page)

She shook her head vehemently.  “No.  It is my
responsibility.”  Her burden.  “I am your master.”  She stood and I could
almost feel the power gathering around her.  Her voice was calm and even. 
“Find them all.  If they resist, kill them.  If not, bring them to me.  Go.”

The room emptied in a matter of seconds.  Haine
lingered on the threshold, watching his master with a sad expression on his
face.  Then he was gone.  Only Leah and Peter remained.  A darkness seemed to
hover over the earthy blonde.  It seemed wrong.  Jarringly so.  “Melody, it’s
time for you to go home,” she said flatly.

I clenched my fists where they rested in my lap. 
“What have you done?” 

She closed her eyes in a long blink, and then headed
for the door.  “All that I could.”  She tossed a glance at Peter as she passed
by.  “Say goodbye, then come.  I won’t wait long.”

Peter started to follow, but hesitated.  He was
obviously impatient to be by her side.  Finally, he came to me and ran a hand
over my hair.  I shook my head.  “Is this why you left?”

He nodded, not speaking, his gaze going to the
door.  “Don’t go with them,” I said softly.  Fear clenched my heart.  What if
he didn’t come back?

 “My place is at Leah’s side.”  His eyes were sad
and his hand on my hair was so gentle, as if I would break.  “I’m bound to her-
even if it is not a true bind.”  He sighed.  “I love you,” he said finally.

I took a steadying breath.  “But the coven is more
important.”

He dropped his hand.  “I cannot abandon them to
this, especially….”

I finished his sentence.  “Especially since it’s my
fault.  Your human that was involved.”  He was blaming himself.

He was silent.  I lifted my head.  “Promise me that you
will come back.  Promise you won’t try to disappear.”

He turned to me and his shoulders seemed to lose
some of their tension.  “I will return to you.”  His lips were a whisper on
mine.  Then he was gone.

*****

Chelsea chattered non-stop on the way home,
commenting on the bevy of beautiful people who had left the old house in twos
and threes, piling into their cars, and heading off in the opposite direction
from town.

“Clients,” I told her, in what I hoped was a bored
tone.  Hopefully if she picked up on my irritation she would just think I was
angry about being ignored.  “The law firm is working with some models that are
in a snit over something.”  It was a load of bullshit, but it was the best I
could come up with.  Neurofatigue was hitting me hard, the stress of the
situation causing me to shut down.  I couldn’t think straight.  I glanced back
at the house as we drove away, hoping this wouldn’t be the last time I saw
Peter. 

After Chelsea dropped me off, I dragged myself to
the couch and collapsed with a big afghan, my cell phone clutched in my hand,
and a very large dog sprawled across my feet.  I woke in the late afternoon
with that terrible feeling you get when you sleep at the wrong time of day.  I
stared at the ceiling for a moment, wondering what I was doing sleeping on the
couch.  Then I remembered, and sat up in a tangle of loosely woven yarn. 
Fumbling, I checked my cell for a message from Peter.  Nothing.

I dragged myself off the couch and set about getting
myself some dinner.  Then I sat staring at the microwave meal.  It was probably
terrible, but I didn’t notice.  One minute I was picking up my fork, the next I
was throwing away the empty plastic plate with no idea how I had gotten there. 
I stared into the trashcan, my mind whirling with doubt and guilt.  People
would get hurt tonight.  People would die, and it was at least partly because
of me.  I imagined my quiet, kind hearted, bookish boyfriend out fighting
unknown, superhuman enemies.  If Peter had never had anything to do with me, this
might not have happened.  Then again, the other coven may have simply chosen a
different target. 

I took myself to bed and fell asleep staring at the
phone that lay on my little bedside table.  I slept through the night and woke
to the alarm the next morning.  Still no word from Peter.  Something inside me
clenched.  If he was okay, he would have called me.  He would have come and let
me know he was alive, wouldn’t he?

Work was a blur, and I found myself zoning out and
drifting off all day long.  I had to double check everything I did, knowing I
was making errors, but unable to make myself focus.  I considered going out to
the coven house after work, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.  After my
last visit there, I didn’t think I would be welcome, especially if things had gone
poorly with the other coven.  I cursed Peter for his lack of trust in me.  I
couldn’t even check to see if he had returned to his own home.  His kind kept
the location of their personal sanctuary as secret as Dracula’s lair.  I tried
to stay up and wait for him, but I was exhausted.  Finally, deciding that I
would only fall asleep in my chair anyway, I went to bed.  

I don’t know how long I lay there, staring at the
shadowy shape of my phone.  I was powerless to find him, and I wondered if this
was purposeful.  Maybe he didn’t want anything to do with me and had used this
opportunity to disappear from my life.  I closed my eyes, fighting a wave of
pain.  When I opened them again, he was there, standing by my bed.  I slowly
sat up and switched on the lamp while I considered what this meant.  Taz was
still curled up at the foot of my bed, sound asleep.  Some guard dog.  Peter
usually at least pretended that he had to abide by the boundaries of locks and
doors.  I thought this sudden appearance was calculated to set me on edge, a
reminder of what he was.

He said nothing while I quietly studied him, looking
for signs of injury.  He wore a cloak of darkness and menace that I had never
felt before.  Pure power.  His emerald eyes were brighter, nearly sparkling. 
He looked comfortable, and glowingly well- satiated. 

“How many?”  My voice was husky from disuse.

His expression was unflinching, as if daring me to
react.  “Eleven.”

I felt a dizzying shift as I began to realize
something about him, something deep rooted and significant.  “You killed them
all yourself, didn’t you?”  Cynthia and Viktor in their fanatic worship thought
they were the most devoted of Leah’s followers.  They were wrong.  I had
believed that his sole value to the coven was legal and financial.  My nerdy
vampire banker.  I was wrong.

I decided that he looked well.  Maybe he had needed
this, needed an excuse to let out the instincts that he always kept carefully
in check.  The guilt in me grew even stronger.  I didn’t have to say it. 
Moving slowly, as if purposefully demonstrating that he was harmless, he came
to sit on the bed beside me.  “This was necessary.  It will keep you alive,
keep you from being a target to anyone else.”

I looked at my hands.  “Yeah.”

His silky voice held a hint of frustration.  “Would
you choose to let them live, knowing they would target you again?  Or if not
you, then someone else we value?”

I clenched my hands and stared into those bright
eyes.  “I said I understand.  I get it, okay!”  Maybe I was as hard and cold as
the vampires were.  Or maybe I was just selfish.  I wanted to live.  I wanted
Leah to live, so that Peter could live.  So I could be with him.  So I could be
happy.  Chelsea was right.  I thought of no one but myself.  Except Peter.  How
could the world move for one person like this, even when I knew his flaws?

Peter took a deep breath, still not looking at me. 
“Leah took in another five.”  He let out a sigh and turned to face me.  “I
don’t know that you’ve done them a favor.  Their lives will be hell now.  They
will have to prove themselves to the entire coven.  Everyone will be watching
them, expecting them to do something wrong.”  And if one of them betrayed Leah,
or hurt one of the coven, I would be even more guilty since it was my voice
that had stayed their execution.  By asking that they be spared, had I just
signed a death warrant for someone I knew- Leah, Peter…myself?

“Are we okay now?”  My voice was flat.  I couldn’t
sit here and doubt myself anymore.  Whatever happened, happened.  I was
not
responsible for a bunch of vampires.

Peter shrugged and gave me a lost look.  “I don’t
know,” he said truthfully.  “I thought that when the time came you would just
let me go.”

I looked at him.  “You were trying to walk away just
to spare me.”

He gave me a sheepish look, completely ruining his
assassin image.  “I hadn’t expected you to be so fierce about it.  I should
have known better.”

I turned to him angrily.  “And now?”  He really
thought so little of me?  That I could turn off my feelings for him just like
that?

He grinned.  “I apologize for trying to leave.  I
honestly thought this would be when my nature and yours parted ways.”

 He was baiting me, and I rose to it.  “So you
expected it to end and you weren’t bothered when it did?”  I had to check the
urge to slap him.

He stopped grinning and gave me an honest look. 
“Didn’t you?”

I took a breath to argue, but I realized he was
right.  I was always telling myself that he would leave me some day because I
wasn’t good enough for him.  But when it came down to it, I couldn’t really
accept it after all.  “Only at first,” I said finally, reluctantly.

“And now?”  He was mocking my earlier question,
turning my reasons back on me.  I was being selfish again.  Staying with me
would only complicate his life.  But even knowing that, I couldn’t help
myself. 

He took my hands, giving me a rueful look.  “If you
stay by my side, I will do ugly things to protect you.”  I knew it was the
truth, but it didn’t bother me as much as it should have.  Was I selfish enough
to accept that?

I shrugged and looked into his mesmerizing eyes,
something still not sitting right in my mind.  “If Leah told you to kill me,” I
said quietly, “would you?”

He didn’t even hesitate.  “She already did.  Months
ago.”

I sucked in a startled breath.  “Why?”

He shrugged and looked away, his voice petulant. 
“She wants me to turn you.  The whole damned coven does.  They cannot be
content to let you be who you are.”

I frowned.  “They don’t care that I might not, you
know, turn out right?”

He sighed and shook his head.  “What do the others
care?  To them it’s of no consequence.”  It wouldn’t matter to them if the turn
didn’t work out for me and I had to be scrapped- oh well, better luck next
time. 

I pressed my forehead to his and closed my eyes. 
“Thanks for caring enough to say no.”

H
aine let himself into his little house. 
He tossed his keys on the counter.  Closing his silvery blue eyes, he ran a
pale hand through his glossy silver hair.  He felt strange.  The woman he had
picked up at the bar hadn’t smelled stoned, but maybe he had missed something. 
Designer drugs were sometimes a little harder to sniff out than the usual
ones.  He swayed, leaning against the wall. 

A sharp pain stabbed through his head, and his eyes
flew open, flashing to liquid silver, then a murky, blood red.  The room
shifted, going in and out of focus around the searing pain in his head.  His
breath came in a pant, then stopped altogether as he struggled for control.

Something cold and evil touched the recesses of his
mind, calling his name.  The presence in his brain was an ancient evil, and it
was pissed that he’d gotten away from its clutches.  It twisted through him,
like dust, and mold, and things that skittered unseen in the darkness.  He put
his hands to his temples and squeezed.  Bruises blossomed under his hands, but
he couldn’t feel it over the struggle that went on inside him.

“Out…” he wheezed, grunting with the effort to
breathe.  He didn’t need oxygen, but breathing made him more human.  The thing
inside his head hadn’t bothered to breathe in years- didn’t remember what it
felt like to be human.  It didn’t have the need to keep up the appearance of
being anything other than evil death.  He was able to fight it only because he’d
had hundreds of years of practice.  He desperately tried to latch onto something
good, something pure that would keep him afloat in the sea of choking
loneliness that threatened to swallow him. 

A woman’s face drifted into his mind, innocence and
knowledge, strength and fragility all in one.  He immediately snuffed the
image, not wanting to reveal it to the invader.  The sight of her face had
given him enough distance from the evil to pull himself back from the brink of
insanity.  “Get…out!”

The burning cold in his head gradually began to
recede, leaving him crumpled on the floor.  His silver eyes slipped closed,
long silver lashes resting on cheeks that were even more devoid of color than
their usual ivory perfection.  He curled into the fetal position, shuddering as
cold tears leaked from his closed eyes.  So close.  It had been so close.  And
he had seen her.

*****

I stayed at the library much later than usual that
night, making up for lost time, and wanting to get a head start on my tasks for
the next day.  Peter had promised to take me on a picnic outside of town and I
wanted to be able to leave early.  We would be away from prying eyes, which
meant he didn’t have to disguise his otherness.  Last time we had a picnic he had
carried me piggyback into the woods so I could go anywhere I wanted.  In the
open spaces, he had run with vampire speed and I had reveled in the feel of the
wind in my hair.