Survivor: The Autobiography (6 page)

Just now I had to leave off writing in order to fire a shot and drop two ivory gulls. Such birds always gather around our camp. Oh if we could shoot a seal or a bear just now. We need it so much . . . 6 o’cl.

F.’s foot is now so bad that he cannot pull his sledge but can only help by pushing. S. and I take it in turns to go back and bring up F.’s sledge. This tries our strength. We could not manage more than 6 hours’ march especially as the country was extremely difficult. Just when we stopped I happened to fall into the water, for an ice-floe which to all appearance and on being tested with the boat-hook seemed to be solid and on which I jumped down proved to consist of nothing but a hard mass of ice-sludge which went to pieces when I landed on it. I flung myself on my back and floated thus until the others reached me a couple of oars with the help of which I crawled up again . . .

17 September
Since I wrote last in my diary much has changed in truth. We laboured onwards with the sledges in the ordinary way but found at last that the new-fallen snow’s and character did not allow us to continue quickly enough. F.’s foot which still did not allow him to pull compelled me and S. to go back in turns and pull forward F.’s sledge too. One of S.’s feet was also a little out of order. Our meat was almost at an end and the crossings between the floes became more and more difficult in consequence of the ice-sludge. But above all we found that the current and the wind irresistibly carried us down into the jaws between North East Land and Frans Joseph’s Land and that we had not the least chance to reach North East Land. It was during the 12th and 13th Sept. when we were obliged to lie still on account of violent NW wind that we at last discovered the necessity of submitting to the inevitable, i.e. and wintering on the ice . . .

Our first resolution was to work our way across to a neighbouring ice-floe which was bigger and stronger and richer in ice-humps than that on which we were, which was low and small and full of saltwater pools, showing that it was composed of small pieces which would probably easily separate in the spring. We came to the new floe by rafting with the boat and soon found a suitable building-plot consisting of a large piece of ice which we hollowed out to some extent. The sides and the parts that were missing we supplied by filling up with blocks of ice and snow over which we threw water and thus made solid and durable. On the 15th we at last succeeded in getting a seal, as I had the luck to put a ball right through its head so that it was killed on the spot and could easily be brought ‘ashore’.

Every part of the seal tastes very nice (fried). We are especially fond of the meat and the blubber. May we but shoot some score of seals so that we can save ourselves. The bears seem to have disappeared and of other game there are visible only ivory gulls, which, it is true, are not to be despised, but which cost too much ammunition. The ivory gulls come and sit on the roof of the tent. Remarkably enough the fulmars seem to have disappeared and of other birds only a little auk or possibly a young black guillemot have been visible during the last few days. F.’s foot is better now but will hardly be well before a couple of weeks. S.’s feet are also bad. I have made in order a landing-net to catch plankton or anything else that can be found in the water we shall see how it succeeds; a fortunate result of the attempt may I think somewhat improve our difficult position. Our humour is pretty good although joking and smiling are not of ordinary occurrence. My young comrades hold out better than I had ventured to hope. The fact that during the last few days we have drifted towards the south at such a rate contributed essentially I think to keeping up our courage. Our latitude on the 12 Sept. was 81° 21’ and on the 15th we had drifted with a strong NW wind down to 80° 45’. Longitude in the latter case is I am certain considerably more easterly. Thus our drift in 72 hours amounts to about 2/3 of a degree of latitude and since then the wind has blown fresh from the same or a more northerly direction. Possibly we may be able to drive far southwards quickly enough and obtain our nourishment from the sea. Perhaps too it will not be so cold on the sea as on the land. He who lives will see. Now it is time to work. The day has been a remarkable one for us by our having seen land today for the first time since 11 July. It is undoubtedly New Iceland that we have had before our eyes . . .

There is no question of our attempting to go on shore for the entire island seems to be one single block of ice with a glacier border. It appears however not to be absolutely inaccessible on the east and west points. We saw a bear under the land and in the water I saw a couple of flocks (of 4) of those ‘black guillemot youngsters’. I think a couple of little auks were also visible. The ivory gulls are seen half a score together. On the other hand the water seems to be poor in small animals for dragging gave no result (landing-net). A seal was seen but it was much terrified. We have seen no walrus. Our arrival at New Iceland is remarkable because it points to a colossal drift viz. of more than 1 degree of latitude since 12 Sept. If we drift in this way some weeks more perhaps we may save ourselves on one of the islands east of Spitzbergen. It makes us feel anxious that we have not more game within shooting-distance. Our provisions must soon and richly be supplemented if we are to have any prospect of being able to hold out for a time.

19 September
[. . .] Today S. has been very busy house-building in accordance with a method he has invented. This consists of snow and fresh water being mixed after which the entire mass is built up into a wall and allowed to freeze. The work is both solid and neat. In a couple of days we shall probably have the baking-oven (i.e., the sleeping room) ready . . . The thickness of the ice of our floe at ‘the great cargo-quay’ has been measured and found to be 1.4–1.3–1.5m (4.6–4.3–4.95 ft) . . .

23 September
Today all three of us have been working busily on the hut cementing together ice-blocks. We have got on very well and the hut now begins to take form a little. After a couple more days of such weather and work it should not take long until we are able to move in. We can probably carry our supplies in there the day after tomorrow. This is very necessary, as mortar we employ snow mixed with water and of this mass, which is handled by S. with great skill he is also making a vaulted roof over the last parts between the walls. We have now a very good arrangement of the day with 8 hours’ work beginning with 2½ hours’ work, thereupon breakfast ¾ and afterwards work until 4.45 o’cl. when we dine and take supper in one meal. We have now also tried the meat of the great seal and have found that it tastes excellent. One of the very best improvements in the cooking is that of adding blood to the sauce for the steak. This makes it thick and it tastes as if we had bread. I cannot believe but that blood contains much carbohydrate, for our craving for bread is considerably less since we began to use blood in the food. We all think so. We have also found everything eatable both as regards bear, great seal, seal and ivory gull (bear-liver of course excepted). For want of time we have not yet been able to cut up and weigh our animal but I think we now have meat and ham until on in the spring. We must however shoot more so as to be able to have larger rations and to get more fuel and light.

29 September
[. . .] Our floe is diminished in a somewhat alarming degree close to our hut. The ice pressings bring the shores closer and closer to us. But we have a large and old hummock between the hut and the shore and hope that this will stop the pressure. This sounds magnificent when there is pressure but otherwise it does not appeal to us.

Thickn. of ice 1.1–1.2–1.5–1.9 (3.6–3.9–4.95–6.27 ft) have been measured by a new fissure which has arisen in our floe. Yesterday evening the 28 we moved into our hut which was christened ‘the home’. We lay there last night and found it rather nice. But it will become much better of course. We must have the meat inside to protect ourselves against the bears. The ice in N.I. glacier is evidently stratified in a horizontal direction. The day before yesterday it rained a great part of the day which I suppose ought to be considered extremely remarkable at this time of the year and in this degree of latitude.

1 October
[. . .] The 1 Oct. was a good day. The evening was as divinely beautiful as one could wish. The water was allied with small animals and a bevy of 7 black-white ‘guillemots youngsters’ were swimming there. A couple of seals were seen too. The work with the hut went on well and we thought that we should have the outside ready by the 2nd. But then something else happened. At 5.30 o’cl. (local time) in the morning of the 2nd we heard a crash and thunder and water streamed into the hut and when rushed out we found that our large beautiful floe had been splintered into a number of little floes and that one fissure had divided the floe just outside the wall of the hut. The floe that remained to us had a diam. of only 24 metre (80 ft) and one wall of the hut might be said rather to hang from the roof than to support it. This was a great alteration in our position and our prospects. The hut and the floe could not give us shelter and still we were obliged to stay there for the present at least. We were frivolous enough to lie in the hut the following night too. Perhaps it was because the day was rather tiring. Our belongings were scattered among several blocks and these were driving here and there so that we had to hurry. Two bear-bodies, representing provisions for 3–4 months were lying on a separate floe and so on. Luckily the weather was beautiful so that we could work in haste. No one had lost courage; with such comrades one should be able to manage under, I may say, any circumstances.

The loss of the ice-hut proved a catastrophe that the trio were unable to recover from. Although they landed on White Island on 5 October, they expired several days later, probably from hypothermia.

29 December
Yesterday I wrote that we hoped to do fifteen miles today, but such is the variable character of this surface that one cannot prophesy with any certainty an hour ahead. A strong southerly wind, with from 44° to 49° of frost, combined with the effect of short rations, made our distance 12 miles 600 yards instead. We have reached an altitude of 10,310 ft, and an uphill gradient gave us one of the most severe pulls for ten hours that would be possible. It looks serious, for we must increase the food if we are to get on at all, and we must risk a depot at seventy miles off the Pole and dash for it then. Our sledge is badly strained, and on the abominably bad surface of soft snow is dreadfully hard to move. I have been suffering from a bad headache all day, and Adams also was worried by the cold. I think that these headaches are a form of mountain sickness, due to our high altitude. The others have bled from the nose, and that must relieve them. Physical effort is always trying at a high altitude, and we are straining at the harness all day, sometimes slipping in the soft snow that overlies the hard sastrugi. My head is very bad. The sensation is as though the nerves were being twisted up with a corkscrew and then pulled out. Marshall took our temperature tonight, and we are all at about 94°, but in spite of this we are getting south. We are only 198 miles off our goal now. If the rise would stop the cold would not matter, but it is hard to know what is man’s limit. We have only 150 lb per man to pull, but it is more severe work than the 250 lb per man up the glacier was. The Pole is hard to get.

30 December
We only did 4 miles 100 yards today. We started at 7 a.m., but had to camp at 11 a.m., a blizzard springing up from the south. It is more than annoying. I cannot express my feelings. We were pulling at last on a level surface, but very soft snow, when at about 10 a.m. the south wind and drift commenced to increase, and at 11 a.m. it was so bad that we had to camp. And here all day we have been lying in our sleeping-bags trying to keep warm and listening to the threshing drift on the tent-side. I am in the cooking-tent, and the wind comes through, it is so thin. Our precious food is going and the time also, and it is so important to us to get on. We lie here and think of how to make things better, but we cannot reduce food now, and the only thing will be to rush all possible at the end. We will do and are doing all humanly possible. It is with Providence to help us.

31 December
The last day of the old year, and the hardest day we have had almost, pushing through soft snow uphill with a strong head wind and drift all day. The temperature is minus 7° Fahr., and our altitude is 10,477 ft above sea-level. The altitude is trying. My head has been very bad all day, and we are all feeling the short food, but still we are getting south. We are in latitude 86° 54’ South tonight, but we have only three weeks’ food and two weeks’ biscuit to do nearly 500 geographical miles. We can only do our best. Too tired to write more tonight. We all get iced-up about our faces, and are on the verge of frostbite all the time. Please God the weather will be fine during the next fourteen days. Then all will be well. The distance today was eleven miles.

NOTE
If we had only known that we were going to get such cold weather as we were at this time experiencing, we would have kept a pair of scissors to trim our beards. The moisture from the condensation of one’s breath accumulated on the beard and trickled down on to the Burberry blouse. Then it froze into a sheet of ice inside, and it became very painful to pull the Burberry off in camp. Little troubles of this sort would have seemed less serious to us if we had been able to get a decent feed at the end of the day’s work, but we were very hungry. We thought of food most of the time. The chocolate certainly seemed better than the cheese, because the two spoonfuls of cheese per man allowed under our scale of diet would not last as long as the two sticks of chocolate. We did not have both at the same meal. We had the bad luck at this time to strike a tin in which the biscuits were thin and overbaked. Under ordinary circumstances they would probably have tasted rather better than the other biscuits, but we wanted bulk. We soaked them in our tea so that they would swell up and appear larger, but if one soaked a biscuit too much, the sensation of biting something was lost, and the food seemed to disappear much too easily.