Suzy Zeus Gets Organized (2 page)

CHAPTER 2
Suzy in Between

SUZY SETTLES IT

Suzy's station goes to static

as they play her favorite song.

Suzy's never had it easy—

now she's queasy all day long.

Six A.M.—she feels like she's been

eating something very wrong.

Longer grow the winter daytimes.

Shorter grow the winter nights.

No more bets on three-card Harry.

No more fibbing, no more fights.

Suzy prices string bikinis.

Suzy shoplifts fishnet tights.

Suzy severs yes from maybe,

will from could, and gets a beer.

No one wants an ugly baby.

No one wants a baby here.

Suzy walks along the river,

listens to a still, small cheer.

one, two, four, eight

who you are is who you date

two, four, eight, sixteen

who you are is what you've seen

eight, sixteen, thirty-two

who you are is what you do

thirty-two, sixty-four

spill you spill you on the floor

one hundred twenty-eight

who you are is what you hate

two hundred fifty-six

who you are is what you fix

SUZY RELATES

Someone set off bottle rockets

in the hallway as a joke.

Suzy saw her upstairs neighbor's

purple lipstick through the smoke.

Black-haired bony Bitterino

asked her in. They had a Coke.

Bitterino does some acting,

weekends with a downtown group.

Keeps a hatchet in her bedroom,

keeps her hair slicked back with goop.

Bitterino has a bedtime,

and a thing for Betty Boop.

Bitterino talks in riddles.

Bitterino talks in code.

Suzy's deep-dish apple pie, but

Bitterino's a la mode.

Bitterino has a club act.

Plans to take it on the road.

Bitterino's boots unbuckle.

Bitterino loves to bake.

Both her sheets are pure Egyptian,

like the pharoahs'—nothing fake.

Two alarm clocks: one is news, the

other rock. She's so awake.

Bitterino doesn't worry.

Bitterino doesn't yawn.

Bitterino asked her how her

nights were now, with Harry gone.

Suzy used up all the Kleenex.

Suzy talked till after dawn.

Bitterino filled their teacups.

Gave her bags of tea to keep.

Bitterino asked if there was

something hurting way down deep.

Suzy reached for Bitterino.

Bitterino said to sleep.

SUZY RELEASES

Suzy's going to walk on water.

Suzy's going to harrow hell.

Suzy's going to write a screenplay.

Suzy's going to learn to spell.

Suzy has forgotten him! The

best revenge is living well.

Suzy, now a strobe light, with her

every second passing strange,

jogs for seven hours straight,

around a late-night driving range.

Watching golf balls arc in darkness,

paths blown wild by winds of change.

Suzy wants to make it formal:

Harry's Most Disgusting Trait.

Makes a total list to choose from—

eighty-six? No, eighty-eight.

Bitterino serves her brunch.

Arranges parsley on the plate.

SUZY BONDS

Bitterino does graffiti—

Bitterino bungee jumps.

Suzy can't get oatmeal smooth, but

Bitterino likes the lumps.

Bitterino's had the measles.

Suzy's only had the mumps.

Bitterino loves the ferry.

Bitterino loves the spray.

Bitterino stands in front and,

as they start, yells "Fuckin' A!"

When they sailed to Staten Island,

Bitterino said she'd pay.

SUZY BOLTS

Suzy Zeus is tense as stemware,

not explosive, just on edge—

needs a ten-foot wall around her,

or at least a ten-foot hedge.

Suzy's straining, teeth to toenails,

easing backward on the ledge.

Suzy wants a Chevy Nova.

Suzy wants an indoor pool.

Wants a town house just like Barbie's.

Suzy Zeus is no one's fool.

Suzy Zeus is no one's plaything,

no one's chattel, no one's tool.

Suzy's going to hit the highway,

find a lake or mountain glen.

Suzy thinks, Who needs a guidebook?

Doesn't every state have men?

She can buy a car on credit.

She can go beyond her Ken.

Suzy needs a long vacation.

Suzy needs to get away.

Suzy isn't liking liking.

Finding there's so much to say.

Suzy finds the difference striking.

Suzy finds it not okay.

CHAPTER 3
Suzy at Large

Donnez-moi your telephone number

Donnez-moi your Sunday afternoons

Donnez-moi a new way of wishing

and a coupon for stainless steel spoons

Donnez-moi a reason to visit

Donnez-moi a reason to stay

Donnez-moi a new way of wishing

and I'll donnez-vous a place in my day

There's a wink in your skin

and the places you go

There's a wild to your neck

I'd like to
know
—
know
—
know
—

Donnez-moi your heaviest sweater

Donnez-moi your highest shelf

Donnez-moi a new way of wishing

And I'll donnez-vous a place in myself

There's a spell in your voice

and a slow in your hair

There's a stretch of your neck

I'd like to
wear
—
wear
—
wear
—

SUZY TRIES THE OPEN ROAD

Suzy is avoiding radar,

breaking limits, passing wrecks.

Suzy Zeus's passing fancy

is to meet a guy named Tex,

drive like hell on long straight highways,

stop five times a day for sex.

Suzy stretches, rolls her shoulders—

breathing deep, surveys the scene.

Suzy eats a biscuit breakfast

at a place called Brendalene.

Suzy loves amazing Graceland.

Suzy thinks the King is keen.

Deep in Memphis Suzy meets an

actor with a little pot.

Suzy's missed his Elvis, but he

tells her that "upstairs they got

fifteen minutes of vibrations—

just two quarters in the slot."

Suzy strolls through old New Orleans—

breezy jazz and moonlit views.

Someone says he'll show her heaven.

What on earth's she got to lose?

Every block a new adventure.

Every street another muse.

At a truck stop several drivers

let her know she drives real well.

"Want to park an eighteen-wheeler?"

asks a cute one. What the hell?

Lets the guy explore her caverns.

Lets him ring her Taco Bell.

SUZY LIKES THE OPEN ROAD

Suzy's passing through where Papa

lived when he was just a pup.

Stops for pie, and maybe coffee—

sure, she'll have another cup.

Suzy's speeding where the roadkill

comes with armor and rolls up.

Suzy traps a small familiar.

Maybe it's a great horned toad.

Chants through Kokonino County,

beds where once a river flowed.

Suzy, sacred, watches out for

miracles along the road.

At Four Corners, can she do it?

What she's always yearned to do?

All four limbs in different states? She

asks the forest ranger, Lou.

When they're done, she needs a shower.

Needs another T-shirt, too.

Suzy made a mad hegira,

took a chance, indulged a whim,

slept in Truth or Consequences,

shouted from the canyon's rim.

Harry said he'd show her Vegas.

It's still Vegas—who needs him?

SUZY EXPERIMENTS

Suzy wants a real explosion—

hears L.A. is into size.

Comes across an ad signed "Matthew."

Cannot know unless she tries.

Well, they found me, Suzy thinks. I

guess it pays to advertise.

Suzy drank and took the freeway

south with Matt for sex with Mark.

L.A., late at night, was muggy—

still quite warm but dank and dark.

Suzy thought about the people

sleeping in MacArthur Park.

Mark put on a leather collar.

Matt put on a leather vest.

Both had Suzy lick their pecs to

see who had the smoother chest.

By the morning, Suzy'd guessed that

Matt liked Mark—and Mark, Matt—best.

SUZY SINGS

Suzy leaves the car in Frisco,

by a hydrant in the Haight,

finds a spiffy travel agent,

Gordon's Good-as-Golden Gate.

Gordon has a sale on Europe,

says the fare is really great.

Suzy Zeus may die tomorrow.

Suzy Zeus may die tonight.

Suzy Zeus is taking over.

Suzy Zeus is taking flight.

Suzy's facing down the darkness.

Suzy's never burned so bright.

Suzy clambers uphill, downhill,

under bridge and over trench.

Sings all night beneath the redwoods,

lying on a cedar bench.

Sings a song for Bitterino.

Makes it up, with part in French.

Suzy's mind is branching. Suzy's

thinking at quadruple speed.

Bitterino. Carole King says,

I will follow where you lead.

Donnez-moi
is "what I wish for,"

"hope for," "want," or, maybe, "need."

SUZY DOES BERLIN

Suzy Zeus is trying German.

Suzy Zeus is trying hard.

Passing with her sister's passport.

Paying with a credit card.

Suzy's putting up her hair, and

Suzy's letting down her guard.

Suzy's here to take the sights in.

Suzy's here to just unwind.

Suzy's here to feel her power,

here not just to search, but find.

Suzy's here to try the knockwurst.

Suzy's here to heal the blind.

Suzy drank a yard of
Weizen

with a British guy named Paul.

Watched the eerie
Fernseh
tower

tower o'er the concrete Wall.

(British guys are British guys—if

you've seen one, you've seen them all.)

Suzy met a real live Jerry,

tall and bright-eyed, on a bike

—someone she could maybe care for,

someone she could maybe like—

with a thing for Proust and pastry:

Mee-kai-ELL, but call him Mike.

Mike and Suzy tried a disco,

and a bar, and Sacher torte.

Suzy, as her storm blew madly,

asked the waiter, Any port?

Eating, drinking, being merry—

live it up, 'cause life is short.

(Breathe)
Vergangenheitsbeveltigung

(it's best to say it fast):

it's a word from World War II—

to come to terms with someone's past.

Suzy climbed through bombed-out churches.

Even God can't make things last.

Mike says love is work, and worth it.

Suzy knows that love is luck.

Suzy wants to dance and drift, to

flow and flower, not
get
stuck.

Suzy doesn't want commitment,

doesn't want her life to suck.

SUZY IS A BERLINER

Suzy found a Hindu Buddhist,

lithe and lively, smart and small.

Saw him in
Der
Rindfleischkeller
—

saved him from a barroom brawl.

Kissed her neck for two full hours.

Mendicants. They never call.

Suzy met a troupe of actors—

bored by fame, by raves, by hits.

Maybe Suzy lost her wallet,

maybe Suzy lost her wits.

Anyway, she woke up naked

next to their director, Fritz.

Freitag,
in a German Shakespeare,

Suzy shivered in her chains.

Fritz had cast her as the ghost (with

bandages and bloody stains).

Suzy screeched and rolled her eyeballs,

blond and nubile, like most Danes.

In a slapped-together
Faustus,

Greed and Lust and Sloth and Pride,

Gluttony, and Wrath, and Envy.

Suzy whispered, writhed, and cried.

Stroking Suzy, front and back, Fritz

shared his plans for suicide.

Shakespeare knew whereof he spoke—like

Hamlet,
where the hero dies

after acting nuts all evening . . .

What can you expect from guys?

Suzy needs an exorcism.

Suzy needs some exercise.

Suzy learned a lot of stagecraft.

Suzy even learned to act.

Suzy exercised her talent.

Suzy exercised her tact.

When the troupe ran out of money,

Suzy sighed, kissed Fritz, and packed.