Sway (18 page)

Chapter Thirty-Five

The song echoed in my ears. In my head, I was on that beach, Eric’s arms wrapped around me. Eric’s lips on mine. Eric’s voice whispering about our future together.

I slipped the ring off my finger while in my head I saw Eric bend down at his chair, reach his hand underneath, lift a sweatshirt and pull out a tiny box. Eric opening the box to reveal a beautiful antique ring that used to belong to his mother. Eric’s face shining with confidence while he slipped it onto my trembling finger. It didn’t fit then and I’d almost lost it in the sand.

I sat on the edge of my bed and clutched the ring in my fist. I should have given it back ages ago—it belonged to his mother, it was a family heirloom. But I hadn’t wanted to part with it, this last piece of him, a reminder of his love for me. Maybe finally giving it back would gain me the closure I desperately needed.

I took a deep breath and steadied myself with a hand on my dresser. My fingers fumbled with the touch screen on my cell and I had to redial three times until I got the number to Kellynch right. My heart raced along to the sound of ringing. A small part of me hoped Eric wasn’t around so I wouldn’t have to go through with it.

The ringing stopped and a voice said, “Hello?”

I let out a breath.

“Sophia?” My heart resumed its normal pace. “It’s Ava calling.”

“Ava! It’s so good to hear from you. It seems like ages since we last saw each other.”

Even through the phone, I could feel the warmth from her voice. “Yeah, it’s been a while.” I paused, gathering my courage. “Is Eric around?”

“No,” she replied.

I closed my eyes.

“He’s visiting Evan in San Francisco.”

“Oh.” Right, I knew that. “Actually, I have something of his that I was hoping to return. Maybe I could leave it with you?” Then I could avoid the awkward-slash-awful confrontation that was sure to take place.

“Sure. Come by anytime.”

We arranged to meet the next day at Kellynch. I hung up the phone both relieved and yet ashamed by my own cowardice.

* * * * *

When I stepped inside Kellynch, I paused in the grand entrance instead of following Sophia. I took a moment for myself. I inhaled the floors, the walls, the memories of my home. For one brief second, I imagined myself living there again, as it once was.

“Do you miss it?”

My eyes opened and focused on Sophia, standing a few paces away.

“Yes.” My entire time at Juilliard, I was so happy to be gone, and yet I’d missed Kellynch like crazy. When I came home, I’d thought I would have more time there. “I know it’s silly, but I love this house.”

“I’m sorry that you’re not here to enjoy it.”

I shrugged. It wasn’t her fault my dad didn’t know how to curb his enthusiasm for spending.

I followed Sophia into one of the sitting rooms, adjusted the purse slung over my shoulder. The ring made it feel a hundred pounds heavier.

“Richard’s sorry he couldn’t be here to say hello,” Sophia said, sitting on a cushioned Louis XVI chair. “He had a meeting.”

I took a seat across from her. “So much for retirement.”

“Men like him never completely retire. He’s trying to book Eric and the band into this big outdoor jazz festival at the end of August in Santa Monica.”

It seemed like Eric would be busy with wedding plans. Then again, he was a man and Lacey probably had her big day planned since she was three. “Tell him I’m sorry I missed him.”

She smiled and crossed one leg over the other. “I will.”

I fidgeted. My mind chanted,
the ring, the ring, the ring
, but when I opened my mouth, all that came out was, “How have you been?”

We exchanged small talk while I tried to work up the courage to deliver the spiel I’d rehearsed in the car.

“I’ll be happy to have Eric back, it’s so nice to have him around,” Sophia was saying. “Unfortunately, it won’t last. He’s been looking for a new house.”

I nodded. He’d want to get a place for him and Lacey to start their life together.

“I might have him for a while yet, though, since he’s focused on this gig coming up. He’s anxious to get it.”

I clasped and unclasped my hands, sweaty palms rubbing together. I tried to focus on Sophia’s words. “Really?”

“He misses performing,” she said. “And he has a few new songs he wants to debut.”

“Oh.”

Sophia’s eyes trained on me and I looked away. “You’ve heard about the wedding?” she asked.

I nodded.

“He’s excited,” Sophia continued.

I stared at my hands.

“I think he’s hoping to play for it.”

I frowned. Play at his own wedding? I guess that made sense, sorta.

“He must be really busy,” I mumbled.

“Not as busy as Lacey.” Her foot swung in circles. “How is she doing? Have you spoken to her?”

I shifted in my chair. “Mari said she’s improving. I haven’t actually talked to Lacey since Vegas so I’m not really sure.”

“Eric told me she’s returned home, but she’s staying with her parents.”

Mari never mentioned that, but then again I’d been ignoring her texts.

“Sam’s there too,” she continued. “I’m sure Lacey didn’t want to be without him, what with a wedding to plan and her still in a somewhat fragile state.”

I wasn’t interested in hearing about their wedding plans. “Well, I should probably—”

I froze.

“Did you…did you just say that
Sam
is there with Lacey?” My heart pounded a staccato beat in my chest.

“Yes. From what Eric told me, they’re inseparable. Young love, you know how it is.”

I stared at her, feeling completely brain-dead. “I don’t—I don’t understand.”

Her eyebrows drew together but she gave a little laugh. “Now I’m confused. What don’t you understand?”

“Why is Sam there?”

Sophia’s face cleared. “But…didn’t you know?” When I didn’t answer, she continued. “I thought you knew about the wedding. Sam proposed to Lacey as soon as she got out of the hospital.”

My brain moved at a snail’s pace. Lacey. And
Sam
?

“It’s very rushed, of course. I’m not sure what her parents think, but they must approve if he’s staying with them.”

I swallowed. Opened my mouth. Swallowed again. “Lacey’s marrying Sam?”

None of this made sense. Lacey and Sam met mere days before her coma and it was only a few weeks ago that she woke up. They barely knew each other. He wasn’t the rich and famous man Lacey had always wanted. I must have heard wrong. “Eric’s friend whose fiancée died. That Sam?”

“Yes.” Sophia’s eyes darted over my face. “Sam Benwick.”

For a moment, I sat there completely stunned. And then I scrambled from my chair. “I have to go.” I bolted from the room.

“Ava, wait,” Sophia called from behind me. “Didn’t you want to give me something for Eric?”

I waved at her but didn’t stop. I needed to be alone. “Sorry, I really need to go. I forgot something I need to do. I’ll see you later.”

Inside my car, I put the keys in the ignition, but I didn’t start it. My breaths were coming too fast to handle, my heart pounded like a trampling bull. Gripping my head with my hands, my eyes open but staring at nothing, I tried to get my brain to work properly.

Mari had said Lacey was getting married to Eric. Hadn’t she? I pulled out my phone and opened her texts. She did say Lacey was getting married, but not to who. I scrolled down to the unread ones, sent on different days.

Mari:
I’ve got major gossip to tell you.

Mari:
Trust me, you’ll want to hear this.

Mari:
You’ll never believe it.

Mari:
Fine, don’t answer.

Mari:
Come on, answer me. I’m dying to tell someone!

Mari:
LACEY IS MARRYING SAM. He proposed. Who knows what happened with Eric. Text back so we can talk.

It was right there, written in big, bold letters. Lacey wasn’t marrying Eric. She was marrying Sam. Eric wasn’t getting married. Eric wasn’t dating Lacey. Eric was free.

Chapter Thirty-Six

A classical piece echoed from my purse. I pulled out my phone and checked the screen. Gage. I pressed ignore and put the phone away.

Walking down the pier, sandals slapping against the wood, I inhaled the fresh air, tasting salt on my tongue. It smelled like summer and ice cream and SPF 30. I leaned against the rail and looked out over the ocean glimmering under the sun like diamonds.

Eric was free. I could hardly believe it.

Eric and Lacey’s marriage had seemed like a certainty. It was hard to imagine Lacey falling for Sam Benwick. He was quiet and sad, a deep thinker. Lacey was the exact opposite—bubbly, outgoing, carefree. How did it happen?

Maybe Sam had been a constant with her at the hospital. Maybe he’d been the one to keep her company, other than her parents, and they’d formed a bond. I imagined Sam sitting at her bedside, holding her hand, quoting his favorite lines from all those depressing songs he knew so well. Maybe Sam was just what she needed in her fragile state. I could imagine it, but it was still hard to believe she would choose anyone over Eric.

Eric. Was he bitter? Angry or sad? He was playing for their wedding, so he couldn’t be too upset. Right? I wanted so badly to see him, to know.

On the beach, couples sunbathed together. Families built castles in the sand. A group of teens played beach volleyball. I saw it all, but my mind was somewhere else. I’d joined Eric on that recliner in the back of my head, and he welcomed me with open arms.

A lump formed in my throat and rolled down until it felt like a giant rock had landed in my stomach. A heavy boulder of fear. Now I would have to face him. If I really wanted another chance, I would have to tell him so. How he would receive it was another song entirely, and one I had no clue how to play, just the hints of a beat. The rest was improvisation. Jazz. Not my forte.

Butterflies joined the rock in my stomach, fluttering about, leaving me woozy. I gripped the wooden rail. I might not deserve a second chance, but that didn’t stop me from longing for one. Now I had to find the courage to fight for it.

* * * * *

A week later, Eric still wasn’t back from his brother’s and Beth, in some abnormal fit of sisterly love, had invited me along to the mall with her and Shelby. I almost choked on my oatmeal at the invitation but I said yes. I’d put down my first and last month’s rent on an apartment, I’d met with the principal and handed in my lesson plan, and I’d made up my mind to tell Eric how I felt. My life was in stasis—waiting for the school year to start, for the move-in date, to see Eric again. While I was waiting for all that, I figured I might as well spend time with the sister I barely knew.

While waiting for Beth and Shelby to get ready, I sat at the piano practicing for my next performance. A voice drifted from the front entrance.

“Hello, sir.”

It was Gage. My heart sank.

“Come in, son,” Dad said. I winced.

“I’m here to see Ava.”

Dad sounded pleased. “Of course. She’s in the den.”

As the footsteps got louder, I considered hiding behind the curtains.

“When do you start filming?” Dad asked Gage.

“Next month,” he replied. “We’ve been doing wardrobe fittings and we have a read-through for the pilot next week.”

Dad sighed. “I forgot how exciting it all is.”

They stepped in the room then, and I had no other choice but to turn around.

“Hey, beautiful.” Gage walked to me. Dad, a grin lighting up his face, backed from the room. “Long time.” He sat on the bench next to me and leaned in, his lips reaching.

I slid away from him. “I’ve been crazy busy.” I made it to the other side of the room in a matter of seconds.

“I doubt that,” he said.

“Excuse me?”

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

Obviously.

“But I’m here now, and you can’t escape me.”

That’s what I was afraid of.

He approached me. “I know you don’t really want to.”

“Gage.” I held my hands in front of me, warning him to stay back. “We broke up. I thought that was pretty clear.”

“And now you want me back.”

I gaped. “Where’d you get
that
from?”

He grabbed my raised hands and pulled me to him. “You may not realize it yet, but you will.”

“Ava, you ready?” Beth walked into the room but stopped when she saw me pressed against Gage.

I wrenched my hands from his. “You can let yourself out.”

“Is he coming with us?” Beth asked. Her eyes searched my face.

“No, he’s leaving.”

Shelby appeared, blocking the door. She looked over my head at Gage and her face lit up. “Oh, but he’s got to come. We need a man’s opinion, right, Beth?”

Beth glanced between Gage and me, but before she could answer, Gage beat her to it.

“Of course I’m coming.” He grinned and put his arm around my shoulders. “Who else is going to carry all your shopping bags?”

I opened my mouth to protest, but Gage unslung his arm from my shoulder and was already out the door.

It was going to be an awkward day.

* * * * *

Gage was the perfect shopping companion. He didn’t huff or whine. He didn’t drag us into sporting goods stores. And he didn’t slink away to do his own thing. Instead, he waited patiently while we tried things on, complimented all of us on how we looked in a particular outfit, and picked out some items he thought would look good. He even carried our bags like he promised. It would’ve been nice if I weren’t annoyed by his very presence.

“Maybe he’s gay,” Beth whispered as we headed to another fitting room.

“No, he’s not!” Shelby protested while I snorted with laughter. She gave me a dirty look. “Why are you laughing? You dated him.”

I shrugged. “He
is
acting a little girly, you have to admit.”

“He’s not gay,” she insisted and stomped into a fitting room. Beth frowned after her.

“So, have you tried anything with him yet?” I asked Beth.

She lifted her chin. “Who said I even wanted him? I’m not interested in my sister’s leftovers.” She chose a fitting room of her own, leaving me in the slim hallway. I was fairly sure she had tried, and Gage had turned her down. My heart went out to her.

A couple of hours later with stomachs grumbling, we waited for a table at a restaurant in the mall. Gage had taken our bags to Beth’s car.

“This is taking forever,” Beth whined. “I’m starving.”

“What’s going on?” Gage asked when he returned.

“We’re still waiting,” Shelby replied.

“I’ll find out how much longer it’ll be.” Gage strode to the front desk and leaned toward the tall brunette standing behind it. I couldn’t hear what he said, but she went from staring at her restaurant map to grinning at him and giggling.

“Fifteen more minutes,” Gage told us. The girl behind the front desk was still shooting him doe-eyes. I was surprised his flirting hadn’t gotten us right in.

Beth’s toe tapped with impatience. Gage smiled at me. Shelby stared at the tall brunette.

I felt a sudden need to get away. My empty stomach was the only thing that vetoed the idea of abandoning the lot of them.

“I’m going to check out that store over there.” I pointed randomly behind me. “I’ll be back.”

Gage attached himself to my side. “I’ll come with you.”

“No, stay.” He opened his mouth to protest but I cut him off. “With you here, that girl might let us in faster.” I bolted from the restaurant and back into the mall.

My eyes scanned the stores for something that looked interesting enough to waste fifteen minutes on. Sephora was nearby, and I headed inside. I strolled through aisles of makeup products, perfumes and creams, a smile crept up my mouth. Dad would be so proud I was in here. Then he would beg me to buy some eye cream or self-tanner.

When I glanced at my watch, I was surprised to see that fifteen minutes was almost up. I let the sales girl finish her spiel on which eyebrow pencils were the best, gave her my apologies for not buying anything and left.

My feet froze right outside the store. Eric, a shopping bag in one hand, was heading my way.

I couldn’t take my eyes off him. My heart crashed like cymbals, and my mind swirled with so many emotions that I couldn’t make sense of them.

A few paces away, his eyes landed on me. He stopped. For an endless moment, we stared at each other. My feet felt like they were encased in ice. He regained his power of movement before I could and closed the space between us.

“Hey,” I said, wishing I’d worn something better than a tank top and cropped cargo pants. At least I had on cute wedges and mascara.

Eric started to say something but it came out all crackly. He cleared his throat. “Hi.”

“How’ve you been?” I stared at him, from the contours of his chest through his t-shirt to the light tan darkening his skin.

“Good.” His eyes darted around me, he rubbed the back of his neck. “I just got back from San Francisco. Visiting my brother.”

“Yeah, I know.” His eyebrows rose and I cursed myself. I probably sounded like a stalker. “Sophia told me. I was at Kellynch last week.”

“Oh.” He cleared his throat again. “Soph never said.”

I looked down at my feet then back up again. “What are you doing in Malibu?”

He held up his shopping bag, the words Earnest Sewn written across the paper. “New jeans.”

I craved the power to read his mind. To know why he looked so uncomfortable, what he thought about Lacey and Sam.

He shifted his feet. “Everything’s good with you?” I smiled and nodded. His shoulders seemed to loosen a little. He smiled back. “Even though you’re back in Malibu?”

“Even though I’m back in Malibu. I won’t be here for very long. I’ve found my own apartment.”

“That’s great.”

“It’ll be nice to be on my own again.”

Eric’s eyes grazed over my face. “You look really good,” he said, and then he glanced away.

“So do you.”

I hesitated. And then I went for it. I had to bring up Lacey. I needed to know. “Anything’s better than the last time we saw each other. In the hospital.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “That wasn’t one of my favorite moments, that’s for sure.”

Not the best segue. “Sorry, I…” I forgot what I’d been about to say. This time, instead of shifting or looking away, his eyes seared into mine, an intense and stormy blue.

“No, you were really—” Eric began.

“Ava, there you are.”

I turned to see Gage striding toward us. A spike of annoyance erupted in my chest. Of all the horrible timing…

Gage stopped beside me. He stared at me and ignored Eric completely. “Our table’s ready.”

“Oh, right.” I didn’t know where to look. “I lost track of time.”

Gage and Eric stared at each other, the air between them filled with tension.

“Sorry. Um, Gage, this is Eric Wentworth.” I fumbled with the words. “Eric, Gage Johnson.”

They shook hands, gripping hard, cords of muscle rippling down their arms.

Gage smiled with his white teeth, an actor’s smile. “Nice to meet you.” He dropped Eric’s hand and turned to me. “Coming?”

I looked at Eric, searching desperately for something to say. Gage put his arm around my shoulders. I shrugged out from underneath it as nicely as I could.

“They’re waiting for us.” Gage put extra emphasis on
us
.

“Go ahead, I’ll be there in a minute,” I said to Gage. “I’ll see you around, right?” I asked Eric.

He glanced at Gage. “Maybe.”

I couldn’t read Eric’s expression as he gave me one last look before walking away.

When he was out of sight, I whirled on Gage.

“What are you doing?”

His eyes widened in too-innocent confusion. “What do you mean?”

“We’re not together anymore. I thought I made that clear.”

His lips drew together. “Let me tell you what’s clear to me. We’re supposed to be together. We are
meant
to be together. I’ve known it, long before Vegas, long before the Heavenly Hearts Ball.”

“What? How did you know long before the ball? We barely knew each other!” I shook my head. “That’s not even the point. It doesn’t matter what you think you know, we’re not together. I don’t have feelings for you.”

Gage laughed away my words. “You can’t stop it. Not when I’ve finally found you.” He took my hand in his. His face turned desperate. “Stay. Be with me. I know you’ll feel it. You just need some time.”

“I can’t—”

He pressed a finger to my lips. “I’ll wait.” His smile brimmed with confidence, even when I leaned away from his touch. “You’ll come back to me. I’ll wait until you do.”

“You’ll be waiting for nothing,” I said. “It’s over.”

He just shrugged. “For now.”

My mouth dropped open. The guy would not listen. Not only was he bugging me, but I was starting to get creeped out.

I walked away from him, hoping my actions would get the point across when my words couldn’t.