SWEET ANTICIPATION (6 page)

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Authors: Kathy Clark

Tags: #Fiction

BOOK: SWEET ANTICIPATION
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“There’s not much of a selection left,” Lauren agreed apologetically. “That fern over there looks as if someone knocked it over and stepped on it, and the only begonia that’s left looks a little peaked. Maybe I can put together some sort of arrangement with the cut flowers from the locker,” she offered, then added, “And by the way, thanks. Thanks a lot. I don’t see how I could have survived that madhouse if you hadn’t been here to help me.” As much as she hated to admit it, she knew it was true. If Jordan hadn’t pitched in the way he did, she would have lost several hundred dollars in business. But still, it went against her better judgment to let him know that she hadn’t quite been able to handle things on her own.

 

Jordan savored this first hint, however minor, of acceptance. It was a small step, but he was a desperate man, grateful for any sign of progress. He flashed her a grin and said, “It was sort of interesting. Being holed up in a laboratory every day, I’ve begun to forget how it feels to deal with the public. It’s been several years since I’ve had an active practice, and even then, I never had to handle a crowd like you had today.”

 

“It sounds like the two of you really had your hands full,” Rita commented, relaxing against the wall now that she saw the unusual congeniality between Lauren and Jordan. It was as if they had called a temporary truce to get them through the day’s crisis. She had no idea how long it would last, but she was relieved that at least for now everyone seemed too exhausted to resurrect the hostility.

 

“It was incredible. The entire city of Houston must have suddenly been struck with the seasonal spirit or something. Even on Valentine’s Day we weren’t this busy. Thank goodness we’ll have a couple of weeks to recover before Mother’s Day hits us,” Lauren said with a sigh more of contentment than complaint. After days like this, she couldn’t help but feel a swell of professional pride.

 

For years her mother had run this shop with only a mediocre amount of success. But her mother had always considered it to be more of a hobby, while for Lauren, it was her livelihood. And now, as Lauren put more and more of her ideas and personal decorating touches, such as the pink-and-white awning, into effect, the business seemed to be growing beyond even her own optimistic expectations. She hoped that within a year she would be able to afford to hire another full-time employee so that she could spend as much time as possible with her child.

 

Unaware that she was doing it, she rested her hand on the curve of her stomach in an affectionate, maternal gesture. Feeling the peculiar stirrings within her, she could tell that her baby was trying to change positions in its confined temporary home.

 

Jordan had been watching her, noting the variety of expressions that had played across her face in the last few minutes. He sensed she was thinking about the child, his child, and he couldn’t keep from resenting being excluded from sharing those thoughts and dreams. Vaguely he remembered hearing this same complaint from other expectant fathers, all of whom were anxious about their situation, even though none of theirs had been as awkward and bizarre as his. Although their status as fathers-to-be had been unquestioned, they, too, had talked about feeling left out as their wives enjoyed a unique and exciting experience. Jordan had never been able to understand or really sympathize with them until now.

 

He felt an unreasonable jealousy that already Lauren had a special closeness, a bond to the baby that he could never hope to have. They didn’t need him. Oh, sure, without his original contribution there would be no baby, but now he was as unnecessary as snowplows in Houston.

 

Jordan saw her place her hand on her stomach and quickly dismissed all those other unimportant thoughts. Was she having a pain? Had she overdone it today? A worried frown creased his forehead as he asked, “Lauren, are you feeling okay? Maybe you should lie down for a while.” Before she had a chance to answer he had crossed the room until he stood next to her.

 

“My feet are killing me,” she answered with a wry grin, “but the baby’s fine. He just woke up and has a bad case of the hiccups.” She looked up into Jordan’s face and saw such intense emotion that her breath caught in her throat. There was relief, mixed with a sort of bewilderment and longing. It was the first time he had shown the slightest chink in his self-confident armor and, in spite of herself, she was touched. Without considering any possible repercussions, she reached out and took his hand. “Would you like to feel it for yourself?”

 

For a second his hand hovered uncertainly over her abdomen, then as she guided it to the spot still warm from her own hand, he was almost frightened. He knew as soon as he felt that child within her move, it would become a real, living person, no longer an object to be bargained for. His large hand settled hesitantly on the cotton material of her dress and he waited.

 

“Oh, my God,” he exclaimed as he felt the tiny rhythmic jumps beneath his fingers. “He really does have the hiccups. Isn’t that fantastic?”

 

“It’s not so fantastic when he gets them in the middle of the night while I’m trying to sleep,” Lauren replied, but actually, she shared his enthusiasm. Every time little Johnny or Joanna did this, she took it as a reassurance that the baby was still alive and well. Even though she had had no problems during her pregnancy and there was no reason to suspect the worst, she couldn’t help worrying that something might go wrong. Dr. Reese had told her that most expectant mothers felt this way, especially with their first babies. And in Lauren’s case, her feelings were doubly strong, because this would be not just her first, but her
only
baby.

 

“Just feel him kick! I’ll bet he’s going to be a soccer player or a field-goal kicker for the Texans. I can’t wait until—” Jordan bit off the rest of that thought as soon as he felt her grip tighten on his hand. Reluctantly, he stepped away, breaking whatever tentative contact he had had with his child—and its mother. “Thanks, Lauren. I can’t tell you how much that meant to me.” He felt strangely close to tears, something that startled him. He couldn’t remember the last time he had cried, certainly not since he was a grown man. But there was something so incredible, so stirring about creating a new life that he was shaken to the depth of his soul.

 

Huskily clearing his throat, he managed to change the subject. “How about all of us going out for dinner? I’m sure that neither of you women had time to eat today and that you are as hungry as I am.”

 

“I’m starved,” Rita agreed, “but I’ve got to get home to my husband. He’s probably wondering what has happened to me. I’m hoping he will have dinner ready when I get there, but he’s a real bear if he goes to all that trouble and it’s cold when we eat it.” She stood up and headed toward the workroom. “Do you want me to stay while you lock up?”

 

“No, you go on. The only thing left for me to do is clean out the cash register and turn off the lights,” Lauren replied. She watched Rita leave, then turned to Jordan. Stifling a yawn, she said, “Thanks for the offer, but I’m really tired and I’m just going to heat up a can of soup and go to bed early.”

 

“But it wouldn’t take that much more time to go out to eat, and you’d probably get a much better meal.”

 

“I don’t think it would be a very good idea.” Lauren glanced at her watch. “We’ve made it almost five hours with only one tiny argument. For us that’s a new record. Let’s not press our luck.” She walked over to the locker and looked inside. “Hey, look what I found. This was a special order, but apparently someone forgot to pick it up.” She carefully took out an elaborate display of tulips, daffodils, gladioli and several other spring flowers that were artistically arranged in a large milk-glass vase. Brightly colored foam Easter eggs were placed among the flowers and a yellow bow was tied around the vase’s neck. “Here, give this to your grandmother.”

 

“It’s beautiful,” he replied, taking the vase from her. “How much do I owe you?”

 

“It’s compliments of the house,” Lauren answered and dismissed his further protests with a wave of her hand and a soft chuckle. “If I had had to pay you for the work you did today, it would have cost me much more than that.”

 

“I wish you would reconsider my dinner offer.”

 

“And I wish we could end this evening without a fight.”

 

“Okay, you win.” Jordan knew he wasn’t going to be able to convince her to change her mind right now, so he wisely decided not to pursue it any more. Instead he said, “Then I guess I’ll be leaving now. Thanks again for the flowers.”

 

“Have fun at the Easter-egg hunt,” she called after him as he walked along the sidewalk. She locked the door and turned off all the lights except for the front display windows and the “grow” lights. In the semidarkness, she loaded the contents of the cash-register drawer into a canvas bag, crossed through the workroom and locked the back door behind her. As she walked along the sidewalk leading to her house, she was almost overcome by the riot of emotions she had been through today.

 

The hectic pace had been much harder on her than she had realized. The small of her back and her shoulders ached almost as much as her legs and feet did. Even her fingers were tired. The bag in her arms was wonderfully heavy, but she was too tired to satisfy her curiosity about its contents tonight.

 

Again she was reminded of how nice it had been for Jordan to give up a whole afternoon just to help her out. She never would have expected such generosity from the man who had confronted her in the cafeteria. He had almost been tolerable today. She wouldn’t go so far as to admit that she had been glad to have him in the shop this afternoon, but she had felt a little less harried and much more secure after he had become such a highly visible assistant. With as much money as had passed through her hands today, if she had had to leave the cash register every few minutes, it would have been easy for someone in the crowd to quietly clean out all her profits. This part of the city wasn’t a high-crime area, but sometimes people who were going through hard times could be tempted if the circumstances were just right.

 

It had been almost a year and a half since she had depended on a man for anything. It was an odd feeling after so many months and she was hesitant to lose even the smallest degree of her newly learned independence. She didn’t want to be indebted to Jordan. He was still the enemy and he couldn’t deceive her by this disguise of concern and friendliness.

 

But she couldn’t forget the look of awe on his face or the twinkle of excitement lighting up his gray eyes when he had felt the baby move. He hadn’t been faking those reactions. He was showing all the signs of an expectant father. What if this really was his child? How would she feel if she were in his place, being completely shut out from this wonderful experience? He hadn’t asked for this complication any more than she had.

 

Darn it, she refused to let herself feel any sympathy for this man. It wasn’t her fault, either. She didn’t need him or welcome him into her life—and she wished she could still feel the hatred for him that she had a few days ago.

 

Chapter Five

 

Jordan sat on the porch swing at his grandmother’s house in Friendswood and watched a dozen or so little children running across the backyard, searching under every leaf or pile of grass for a colored egg. He remembered how much he had enjoyed this when he was younger and, even now, whenever he saw one of the kids run past an egg without seeing it, he wanted to rush over and point it out to them.

“Hi, Jordy. I figured you’d be out here with the little ones.” His grandmother had walked out on the porch and he stopped the swing so she could sit down with him. “My daughters and your mother ran me out of the kitchen. I can’t say I mind, though. I love to cook all that food, but it’s such a mess to clean up.”

 

“That was a great meal, as usual. I’d rather eat your cooking than that of the most renowned chef in the world,” he commented, glancing over at the small, gray-haired woman next to him. An apron was still tied around her ample waist, partially covering the bright-pink knit dress she had probably made especially for today. Jordan knew that in the years to come, when his grandmother was no longer around to welcome the family into her home, he wouldn’t be able to think of her without seeing her wearing an apron. It was the symbol to him of all that was homey and comfortable.

 

“I’ve had years of practice,” she replied. “My mother believed a woman’s only role in life was to be a good cook, keep a clean house and teach the children to be polite. She would be shocked by the way women act nowadays.”

 

“How about you? Do you think today’s women are on the wrong track?”

 

“That’s hard to say, Jordy. In a way, I wish I could have had a chance to become someone important—to make a contribution of some sort. Did you know I once wanted to be a dancer? But back in my day, it wasn’t an acceptable occupation for a lady. I think I would have been pretty good at it, too, but then, on the other hand, I wouldn’t have given up my life with your grandfather for anything in the world. And frankly, I don’t envy today’s women. They’re so busy that they don’t seem to have time to sit back and enjoy life.”

 

“You didn’t have to become a dancer to be an important person, Grandma.” Jordan reassured her with a hug. “Just look at this family that you and Grandpa created. I think you’ve done a pretty darn good job with all of us.”

 

“Yes, we’ve been very lucky. They’ve all turned out pretty well, haven’t they? There’s Sherry and her husband, Ronnie, with their little girl.” Jordan’s grandmother pointed toward one of his cousins and her family. “Isn’t that the most adorable child you’ve ever seen? Oh, and there’s Jeff and his wife, Lori. Their twins are how old now? Two? Two and a half? I believe they’d rather stomp on those eggs than put them in their baskets. At that age they can be such terrors.”

 

For several minutes Jordan and his grandmother swung slowly back and forth, each thinking his or her own thoughts as they watched the antics of the little ones scrambling to find the most colored eggs and chocolate rabbits. They all looked so cute, with the girls in their frilly Easter dresses and the boys outfitted in suits with short pants. Jordan had no idea how many dozens of eggs had been hidden in the flower beds or around the bases of the trees, but no matter how long and hard everyone looked, there were bound to be three or four eggs that wouldn’t be discovered for months, by which time they would be spoiled. Jordan chuckled at the memories of how he and his cousins used to dispose of those.

 

“Are you remembering the time you and Jack put all those rotten eggs on your uncle’s engine? Mercy, what an odor! No one could stand to be anywhere near that car when the engine was running. I think he finally had to trade it in.” His grandmother tried to look reproachful, but the twitching of the corners of her mouth gave her away.

 

“How did you know that was us? All these years, I thought no one knew who had done that and after all the stink, if you’ll pardon the expression, neither Jack nor I would dare admit it.”

 

“You were quite a scamp when you were younger. I’m glad you were finally able to channel your energies and imagination into something productive. I can’t imagine what it would be like to go through life without children,” she said sympathetically. “I think it’s wonderful that you’re trying to help all those couples’ dreams come true.”

 

Jordan gave a modest shrug, but before he could answer, she continued along a more personal track. “So tell me, when are you going to get married and have a little one out there with the rest of them? I’m getting pretty old and I had hoped you’d give me a great-grandchild before it’s my time to go be with your grandpa.”

 

As Jordan stared out across the newly mown grass, he could almost see a chubby little boy toddling along, one tiny hand gripped in Jordan’s much larger one. Within the next two years it could very likely be a reality. But Jordan was reluctant to tell his grandmother about the baby. After all, what did he really have to tell her? That he mayor may not have fathered a child? That if he could prove that fatherhood he might have partial custody on weekends and every other holiday? That there was no chance that the child’s mother would be with him when they came to next year’s Easter-egg hunt?

 

No, he couldn’t tell his grandmother any of these things. His life was in such a turmoil right now that not even he could guess the outcome. He didn’t want her to have false hopes, and he didn’t want the word to spread through the family, as he was sure it would, until he knew how things would turn out. Still, he wished he could let her in on the secret that in just two months, she would be a great-grandmother again. But caution prevailed.

 

“Well, I guess you’ll just have to hang around awhile longer,” he teased affectionately, dropping a kiss on top of her head. “You wouldn’t want to miss out on the best-looking little Daniels of the bunch, would you?”

 

“Well, you’re not getting any younger either. It’s time you found a sweet young woman and settled down.”

 

“I wish it were that simple,” he replied wryly.

 

W
HEN
L
AUREN AWAKENED
the room was cool from the central air conditioning she had installed after she moved in, and the lined draperies shut out most of the brilliant April sunshine. During the night, in between frequent trips to the bathroom, she had slept like a log, barely dreaming. When she finally opened her eyes long enough to look at the clock, she was horrified to see that it was almost noon.

It was Easter Sunday and she should be in church right this minute. With a guilty moan, she rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. She must have been even more exhausted than she imagined if she had slept more than twelve hours. Her arms and legs felt heavy and sluggish as she finally pushed herself out of bed. It seemed to be becoming more of a task every day. Wondering why she didn’t feel more rested after so much sleep, she shuffled to the bathroom and decided to take a quick shower to wake herself up.

 

She had a lot to do today. During the last couple of weeks while she was getting ready for the extra holiday business at the shop, she had let her housework slide. Doing housework was not one of her favorite pastimes, but she liked to be surrounded by neatness and order. She was the type of person who made lists for everything and preferred following a regular schedule. And she didn’t like surprises.

 

As the cool spray brought her body back to life, her brain responded more slowly. She didn’t really want to think about all the surprises that seemed to be plaguing her life lately—especially one in particular.

 

But as she dusted, vacuumed, changed the sheets and did the wash, her mind kept wandering back to Jordan. She couldn’t figure him out and that very unpredictability made him frightening. But yesterday, he hadn’t seemed frightening at all. In fact, if they weren’t involved in this dispute, she probably would have been happy to have him for a friend.

 

A mental picture of his glossy black hair dipping across his tanned forehead and the sensuous curve of his lips when he smiled flashed before her. He was taller than Johnny had been and his body was broader and more powerfully built. It was obvious he must work out or exercise regularly. He couldn’t have kept those muscles just by lifting test tubes. This, too, was a surprise, because the impression she had always had about “mad scientists” was that they were constantly bent over a microscope, their diminutive forms covered in white lab coats and their skin pale from spending all their time indoors.

 

But Jordan didn’t fit any of those stereotypical ideas. All the men in her life so far had been easily categorized. Her grandfather had looked and acted just as a grandfather was expected to, and her father had been strong and supportive and generally as perfect as a father could be. Then there was Johnny, who had been sweet and gentle, and had always been there when she needed him—until now. He, too, had been a schedule-oriented person, always calling her at the same time during the day, always leaving in the morning at exactly seven-thirty and arriving back at their apartment at five-thirty. He had been safe and predictable.

 

Jordan Daniels was neither safe nor predictable. She wished she could dismiss him from her mind, but she didn’t seem to be able to.

 

She counted the receipts from the day before and wrote up her deposit slip, then did a little of the never-ending bookkeeping that went with owning a small business. For the first time since she had taken over the shop several months ago, her bank balance was healthy enough that she wouldn’t have to cut corners on her restock order. She could put a few more of her ideas into effect.

 

M
ONDAY MORNING
, L
AUREN
and Rita spent most of their time cleaning the shop and rearranging the plants that were left, repotting or re-dressing them to improve their appearance. Lauren wouldn’t get a new shipment for a couple of days, so she would just have to make do with what she had until then.

A steady drizzle kept her indoors at lunchtime while Rita braved the nasty weather to run some errands. Lauren sat on a stool with her lunch spread out on the counter, absently munching on cheese puffs, when she noticed a car park in front of the shop and a man jump out and dash under the protection of the awning. When he opened the front door and the bell jingled, Lauren felt her heart do a strange little flip-flop as she recognized Jordan. She accredited that unexpected response to her nervousness at seeing him again so soon. His original confrontation with her was still fresh in her mind and she couldn’t help but be wary whenever he was around, despite his friendly helpfulness with the customers on Saturday.

 

“April showers bring May flowers,” he quoted as soon as he stepped into the room.

 

“That may be true up north, but in Houston we have flowers in March,” she reminded him. She took his smile as a good sign that he hadn’t come here for nefarious reasons. But why had he come?

 

“There’s certainly not many flowers left here,” he said with a laugh. “We did all right last Saturday, didn’t we?”

 

She resented the emphasis on the “we,” but knew it would be untruthful to deny it. “Yes, we did,” she answered, returning his smile. “So how did your grandmother like her flowers? And how many Easter eggs did you find?”

 

“She loved them and someone stole my basket so I didn’t get to hunt this year. But those little kids wouldn’t have had a chance if ol’ Flash Jordan had been out there.”

 

“I’ll bet,” she said with a chuckle. “Here, Flash. Have a cheese puff.”

 

He got a stool out of the workroom and placed it on the other side of the counter and sat down. Pulling a brown paper bag out of his raincoat pocket, he said casually, “Mind if I join you for lunch? The park is a little soggy today and I hate to stay at the lab.”

 

Again he had succeeded in surprising her. He had probably known she wouldn’t agree to go to lunch with him, so he had come to have lunch with her. She didn’t doubt for a second that this was not a spur-of-the-moment idea. Oh, sure, if she hadn’t been at the shop or had other plans for lunch, he could have kept his lunch hidden in his pocket but nothing could convince her that he had been out driving and decided to stop by on a whim.

 

So how did she feel about that? Did she resent his intrusion into her private life? In a way, she did, but there was also something remotely flattering about his persistence. Of course she knew that he was interested in the child, and not her. However, that child was part of her and if he accepted it, he couldn’t totally reject her.

 

Lauren watched him take a soggy-looking peanut butter and jelly sandwich out of a bag and she was oddly touched by this unexpected glimpse of Jordan’s human side. Any man who could throw something like that together early in the morning, then force himself to eat it for lunch, couldn’t be as self-righteous and coldhearted as she had first suspected.

 

“Would you like a napkin—or two?” she offered, trying not to laugh as he tried to eat the sandwich with as little mess as possible.

 

“Hmm,” he nodded, unable to speak clearly because of the thin layer of peanut butter that coated the roof of his mouth.

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