Sweet but Sexy Boxed Set (53 page)

Chapter Fourteen

Would the evening ever end? The newlyweds seemed in no hurry to leave the reception, and the strain of having C.B. and Rob together frayed Kelly’s nerves. She had watched them dance, suffering every step as they twirled around the garden dance area. And then Rob had danced with her. When he took her into his arms, she thought she would melt into the garden path.

Kelly wanted him, but she couldn
’t allow herself to give in. Happily-ever-after endings never happened to her. It was enough to know her mother and C.B. were happy. That was as much as she could wish for, given the secret she carried and the mistakes she’d made.

It was approaching eight o
’clock when she missed seeing Rob in the garden. C.B. was gone too. Daniel chatted with her mother at the dining table where the twilight was now lit by glowing candlelight. That Rob and C.B. were not in sight troubled her, so Kelly slipped into the house.

She found C.B. in the upstairs guest bathroom repairing her makeup. Joining her daughter at the double sinks, Kelly smoothed down her hair and washed her hands.

“It’s been a nice wedding,” she said. This was the first time she’d been alone with C.B. in a long time.

“
Oh, yes! And Grandma is so happy. Howie is such a nice man.”

“
Yes.” Kelly nodded. “I expect he’s going to treat her better than my father ever did.”

C.B. looked thoughtful.
“Grandma deserves it. She’s put up with a lot.” Turning to the mirror, she said, “You too, Mom. You deserve a nice guy like that.”

“
I don’t know. Maybe some day.”

“
What about Rob?” C.B. asked. “He seems to like you.”

“
I guess.”

“
Why don’t you do something about it? I bet if you chase him a little, you can catch him.”

Kelly smiled, hoping her smile covered her uneasiness.
“You sound just like your grandmother. Matchmaking must run in the family.”

C.B. returned a pout.
“I don’t know why you make a joke about it. You don’t need to worry about me now. Besides, you’re not young any more. You’re forty years old.”

“
Don’t remind me.”

“
It’s time you do something for yourself, Mom. Stop playing the martyr.”

A tense silence surrounded them. Kelly
’s chest felt as if it would burst. “Is that what you think I am?”

C.B. glanced at Kelly
’s image in the mirror. “I think you have sacrificed enough,” she said softly. “I think it’s time for you to let go of me and get on with your life.”

Kelly suddenly burned with anger.
“That’s Daniel talking.”

“
What if it is?” C.B. lifted her chin. “He’s my husband, and he’s right most of the time.”

“
But he doesn’t know anything about me. What right does he have to pass judgment?”

C.B. turned to her.
“It’s not judgment. He cares about me, and he cares about you. He knows it’s time for us to change our relationship. I’m all grown up, Mom. I’m married.”

Kelly wanted to run and hide. Her insides felt like jelly, mixed with anger and fear and an extra dose of confusion.
“Why attack me all of a sudden? We always had such a good relationship, C.B. It was always you and me and Aunt Bess. What have I done to change that?”

C.B.
’s lip quivered, but she stood her ground. “You see the Scott family out there? Happy? Together? Daniel’s family is like that. It’s a big family. I’ve always wanted a big family. Like everybody else.”

Kelly licked her lips. Her hands were cold. She clutched them, her fingernails biting into her palms.
“Not everyone has big families, C.B. I did the best I could.”

“
Did you? Then why won’t you tell me who my father is? What’s so terrible about him? Can’t you get it through your head I’ve always thought he didn’t want me?”

“
That’s not true, C.B. Your father doesn’t know about you.” Kelly’s voice was shaky. “I never told him.”

C.B. straightened her shoulders.
“I don’t understand you.”

“
I had my reasons.” Kelly dropped her gaze.

“
Fine.” There was a new hardness in C.B.’s tone. “One more thing, if you please.” She took a breath. “My name is not C.B. I’m no longer Colleen Baron but Mrs. Daniel Lyons. You can stop calling me C.B.”

Her daughter swept past in a hurry.
“C.B.!” Kelly reached for her, but her precious child left the bathroom and didn’t look back.

“
Colleen,” Kelly whispered and slumped against the sink, feeling anguish so deep that it threatened to overcome her remaining control.

****

Kelly walked zombie-like down the staircase to the entrance foyer. Outside the candlelit garden was a-buzz with music and activity. Inside however, the rooms were shadowy and quiet in the growing dusk.

She paused and drew a deep breath trying to mollify the jumbled emotions coursing through her heart and mind. With no place left to hide, Kelly faced a dilemma. Did she tell the truth? Was it too late? Would C.B.—Colleen—and Rob ever forgive her?

Her instinct said no. She must continue to keep her secret. It was her default position. She knew nothing else. Kelly rubbed her damp palms down the slick skirt of her royal blue dress.

What am I going to do?

A movement in the living room drew her attention. She glanced into the dark room and recognized Rob sitting silently in the shadows facing the huge flower arrangement where the wedding had taken place. He was slumped forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped. When she sat down beside him, he didn’t move.

An inscrutable silence followed. Kelly inhaled sharply as it lengthened. Had he learned the truth? What was wrong? Sensing his tension, she touched his shoulder.

Rob aroused long enough to glance her way. His face was ashen, his blue eyes glassy.

“
God, Kelly,” he said in a voice that could break a heart.

For a split second, Kelly wanted to run, but this was Rob. Something troubled him.

“What’s wrong?” She dreaded the answer, but she couldn’t leave him.

He sat back in the chair and stared at the ceiling. Finally he said,
“Jessica is pregnant.”

“
What?” Kelly placed her hand on his knee. “You told me she didn’t want children.”

Rob rubbed a hand down his face.
“After she miscarried, she told me she didn’t want to be a mother. She made me feel guilty, as if it was my fault she lost the baby. She called me a failure. It’s the one thing I wanted that I could never have.”

“
But she’s pregnant now?”

“
Yes, second trimester. It didn’t take her new husband long to do what I couldn’t do in ten years. And of course, she called tonight to gloat. The bitch.”

Rob
’s anger was laced with sorrow and regret. Kelly understood. He had been betrayed by a woman he loved.

Just as I betrayed him so many years ago.

No! She’d been the victim! Wronged by Rob’s mother and then her father—a casualty of circumstances. She had been the one who had lived with the mistake.

And the one who had reaped the reward, for Colleen Baron had been the prize of a lifetime, a gift Rob had never been given.

Kelly removed her hand from Rob’s knee and stirred uneasily in the chair. “Life’s not fair,” she said in a voice she hardly recognized.

“
You can say that again.” He brushed a gaze full of bitterness across her face.

“
I’m sorry,” she whispered.

He sat up straight, manning up.
“It doesn’t matter. I’ll get over it.”

“
But you shouldn’t have to. Jessica shouldn’t treat you like this. You don’t deserve it, Rob.” Her annoyance increased. “You would have been a wonderful father.”

“
Like you are a wonderful mother.” For an instant his glance sharpened.

Kelly dropped her gaze afraid to meet his eyes.
“I don’t know about that.”

“
I know. C.B. is proof of the good job you did.”

“
Colleen,” Kelly muttered. “She wants to be called ‘Colleen.’”

“
You don’t give yourself enough credit.” He reached out and caught her hand in his. “You’ve found the strength inside to go it alone under difficult circumstances. You not only survived, but thrived. You’re a remarkable woman, Kelly Baron.”

Dangerously close to tears, Kelly shook her head and pulled her hand away.

“Come home with me tonight, Kel. I love you. I need you.”

She looked up, disoriented. There was vulnerability in his eyes she had never seen before. No, she had to cut him off. Life
wasn’t
fair. She had already done enough damage where Rob was concerned. She wasn’t worthy of his misplaced trust and love.

“
I can’t.” Her voice rose sounding steely. “I’m leaving for North Carolina bright and early in the morning.”

****

The party broke up thirty minutes later. Mr. and Mrs. Howard Scott left for their honeymoon to a chorus of well-wishes and a shower of rose petals. Colleen and Daniel left to return home. There was strain in their departure, a strain that broke Kelly’s heart.

After the other relatives said their good-byes, Rob and Kelly were alone except for the catering staff doing the clean-up.

“Go home, Kelly,” Rob ordered in a tired voice devoid of emotion. “I’ll straighten up and lock the doors after the caterer is done.”

Kelly glanced around the bright living room. The earlier shadows were gone.
“Okay, if you think I’m not needed.”

“
No,” he said with a pointed stare. “You’re not needed. Not much chance I’ll screw this up.”

She dropped her eyes before his steady gaze and battled with overwhelming remorse.
“I’ll see you then.”

“
Sure.” Rob turned his back.

Nothing remained for her to do but walk to her car and drive away.

****

Her mother
’s house was dark and uninviting. The ghost-like boxes in the living room stacked for Rob’s yard sale filled the room with a disembodied presence and contributed to the eerie silence. Kelly mounted the stairs to her bedroom. She changed out of her fancy dress, putting on shorts and a T-shirt.

Should she start for
North Carolina tonight? Kelly truly didn’t know what to do. Her life had no purpose. Or hope.

Without hope, what do I have?

Her shoulders sagged under the weight of her anguish. Legs collapsing under her, Kelly sank to her bed, wrapped her arms around herself and cried. Sobs wracked her body. She lowered her head to her pillow, pulled her legs up, curling in a fetal position, and poured out her sorrow until there were no tears left.

Rob was hurting. It was her fault. Her nurturing instinct compelled her to make it better, as if she could kiss his bruises and make the pain go away.

How? She had no power. No control, and she didn’t trust the outcome.

A far-away voice rang in her ears.
“Believe in yourself, Kelly,” her great-aunt had said, urging her to take risks.

But believing had always been hard. Kelly had always felt vulnerable. Inadequate.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” Rob had told her. “You’re a remarkable woman.”

Rob had recognized her lack of self-confidence. Aunt Bess too. Her mother knew she was unhappy and tried to help. Even Rachel had pinpointed her fear of taking action.
“Life just doesn’t happen,” Rachel had said. “You must create what you want out of it.”

What do I want?

Kelly sat up and wiped away her tears. She was sick from the struggle within and longed for peace and closure…and love.

I want Rob.

“I bet if you chase him a little, you can catch him,” Colleen had suggested.

Staring at the empty walls, Kelly knew the only way she could ever catch Rob was to tell him the truth. It was a risk. He might hate her. Yet anything was better than the empty, soulless life she was leading.

She sucked in a huge breath. Telling Rob meant telling Colleen. Could she face her daughter’s anger? Kelly shut her eyes.

She had faced Colleen
’s anger tonight. As Rob said, she had survived.

I
’ve always survived.

Kelly opened her eyes and climbed to her feet. She needed to ease Rob
’s hurt and help him understand he wasn’t a failure. He had a child, a beautiful daughter who needed him as much as he needed her.

Maybe somewhere in this mess, Kelly could create a new fut
ure from the ashes of the past.