Sweet but Sexy Boxed Set (94 page)

Maddie James

New Year’s Eve is just around the corner and Legend Elementary teacher Patti Jo Baker has tried every trick in the book to land a date for the annual New Year’s Eve Bash at The Lodge. This includes setting up a kissing booth at the Legend Elementary Winter Carnival—a booth which Principal Jim Hamilton promptly shuts down. Because if Patty Jo Baker is passing out kisses, any kind of kisses, he wants to be both first, and last, in line—and he definitely doesn’t want to sample them in front of the student body.

F
rom
Murder on the Mountain

“Come on, Kate.” Patti Jo Baker stuck her head in Kate’s classroom door. Best friends since attending Legend Elementary, they now both taught there, side by side. Patti Jo taught fourth grade, Kate sixth. “Let’s take a break.”

“
I really want to finish this bulletin board.”

“
Let me help. I’m finished. Want to go out later?”

She looked at Patti. Why not? She had nothing else to do. It was just that for the past twenty-four hours she
’d not been in much of a mood to be social. Of course it had absolutely nothing to do with her frustration with one Tennessee State Trooper or the entire situation that she’d been thrust into the day before. Even though she’d managed to finally diffuse her anger about all that, nagging worry still chipped away at her, and she wasn’t quite sure how she would handle the situation. It never quite left her mind.

“
I don’t know. Maybe I’ll go home and finish grading papers. I’ve got a frozen dinner in the freezer.”

“
Crap, Kate, gimme a break. Why don’t you just roll over and die.”

The words stung. She stopped mid-motion while attacking a construction paper letter with a stapler. She knew what was coming next.
“Don’t start.”

Patti bit her lip. Kate stopped her stapling and crossed the room to her desk, methodically putting away the stapler, construction paper, and scissors.
“I’m tired. I’m going home.”

“
You’re living like a nun.”

“
I am not.”

“
You are.”

She squinted.
“No. I am not!”

“
It’s been over two years. You’re only twenty-nine. You need to get out every once in a while. Do something besides stay home all the time grading papers, before it’s too late.”

“
Too late for what?”

“
Too late for—”

Kate pushed her hands up in the air, palms facing outward.
“Stop right there because I know what you’re going to say. That I’ll never fall in love again if I don’t get started. That I’ll never find anyone to replace Rob if I don’t get out now and then. I know. I’ve heard it a thousand times. Not only from you but from my parents and everyone in Legend except for Geraldine Weismueller down at the Piggly Wiggly, which is pretty darned weird since she’s the town busybody. Everyone seems to have an opinion. What you all don’t understand is this—I don’t want anyone else.”

“
Jonathon Wells asked about you the other day.”

Kate turned and walked away.

“Damn. I’m sorry. I hate to see you like this.”

“
Like what? What is it with you, Patti? Do you think my life won’t be complete without a man in it? Is that it? Do you need a man to make you feel complete?”

Patti, whose major pastime was seeking out potential husbands, but who never seemed to catch one, stared at her friend and answered,
“It helps.”

A sigh hissed through her teeth.
“Well, that may be fine for you, but not me. Look, my life is great. I have my home, my students, my parents are close by, and I have you for a best friend. Please Patti, back off where my love life is concerned.”

“
I thought that… maybe you, oh nothing. Fine, I’ll drop it, okay?

“
Great.”

“
All right.”

But she stepped closer, placing her fisted hands on her hips.
“I want you to think about something, though. When was the last time you went out? Were kissed? Had sex, for cripes sake?

When was the last time you even talked to a man?
”

Lord, make it stop.
“Yesterday.”

“
Yesterday?”

Flustered, Kate turned, picked up her purse, slung it over her shoulder, and walked toward the door.
“Yes, yesterday.”

For once she may have bested her friend. Patti
’s mouth still hung open as she grinned and left her standing there with a quick goodbye wave. Patti didn’t need to know that she’d only
talked
to the man. Though she
thought
he’d wanted to kiss her. Right there in her classroom.

And sex? Well, Patti also didn
’t need to know that she’d spent most of last night wondering what it might be like to indeed have sex with a man like Mike Lehmann.

Too bad it would never happen. Mike Lehmann, she was sure, was a very nice man. But there was no room in her life for him, or any man, who wore a brown uniform.

Never would be.

Chapter One

Two years later…

“
I need a man.”

Patti Jo Baker watched her best friend, Kate, turn her way and roll her eyes.
“Patti,” she began, shifting her teacher’s bag full of papers on her shoulder, “You’ve been saying that for years.

If you need a man so darned bad, why don
’t you go out and get you one?”

Feeling a little defensive, Patti shot up off her teacher desk chair and, hands on hips, glared at Kate.
“It’s not like I haven’t been trying!”

Kate waved her off.
“Oh, posh. Get serious. What have you really been doing besides draping yourself in tinsel and hanging out at Hooters in Pigeon Forge? I tell you, Patti, the men at Hooters are not there to find a date. At least not one to take home to Mama.”

“
I know, they go for the wings.”

“
And the breasts.” She grasped her arm. “Face it. They are just there to ogle. That’s not where you find a man.”

“
So where do I find one then? You tell me. Because I’ve tried every online.com matchmaking service there is, and I’ve done them for years. You know, matched.com, singlemingle.com, marryarichguy.com, cuddleup.com and even that ebliss.com which costs big money. I splurged. And guess what? They hooked me up with a little Republican Jewish guy with small hands. I clearly stated that I was liberal and Baptist. What were they thinking? Besides, those places don’t work, and the same guys are on all of them, and they’ve been there for years.”

“
Small hands? What does that have to do with anything?”

“
I like a man who can handle me.”

“
Patti!”

“
I mean, shoot. Small hands are dainty. Who the hell wants a man with small hands or, for that matter, feet? I can’t believe they matched me with that guy. My perfect-for-you match. Geez.”

Kate arched a brow.
“That should tell you something.”

“
What do you mean?”

“
Those things don’t work.”

“
But have you seen the commercials? And the testimonials?”

“
How many years have you been on all of those sites?”

She shrugged.
“I dunno. Five? Six?”

“
I rest my case.”

Patti thought about that for a moment, glancing off over her empty classroom. How else was one supposed to meet a man in Legend, Tennessee? She knew every single man in town and there were no prospects here. None. She was forced to go out of her boundaries. She needed a man bigger than what Legend could offer—larger than life, worldly—one that would worship the ground she walked on and love her quirkiness unconditionally. But how far would she go? She
’d heard of a woman once who found a husband by placing an ad in the magazine
Mother Earth
.

Maybe she should try something like that. Not
Mother Earth
, perhaps, but maybe something like
A Man’s Cave
or
Alaskan Wilderness
.

But not now. It was the end of the day, and she was tired. The classroom Christmas party was over, and the kids just left for their winter break. She had a mess to clean up in here, but she wasn
’t in the mood.

Sighing, she looked back to Kate.
“I guess I would settle for a date for New Year’s Eve.”

“
Hire Suzie.”

“
Who?”

“
Suzie Matthews. You know, The Matchmaking Chef.”

Suzie. Of course, she knew Suzie. Everyone in Legend knows Suzie Matthews, hostess with the mostess, cookbook author, owner of Legend
’s Landing Bed & Breakfast…her own television show to boot. “She’s not a real matchmaker.”

Kate shrugged.
“I think she is. I’ve heard stories.”

Patti thought about that.
“But I thought it was just a television show.”

“
Don’t think so,” Kate drew closer and sat her bag on the desk. “Sometimes I think she’s subtly behind the scenes working, and other times I’ve heard she’s gone to great lengths to get people together.”

“
Like who?”

“
Well, Nash Rhodes and Mary Lou Picketts, for one.”

Patti gasped. Mary Lou!
“I wondered how Legend’s Plain Jane had landed that big hunky country singing sensation!”

Kate nodded.
“Yep. I heard that one was pretty intentional, planned right down to the proposal. And you know about Lyssa Larkin, right?”

Patti scowled.
“Lyssa, too! Why, she was practically an old maid.”

“
Practically as old as you.”

Playfully sneering, Patti said,
“Watch it, sister.” Leaning her backside against the desk, she added, “She married that new guy in town, didn’t she? The one with the dogs?”

“
Yep.”

“
That’s pretty cool.”

“
I guess Suzie set up a speed dating lunch thing for her at the B&B.”

Patti
’s brain spun with possibilities. “Seriously. I wonder how much she charges.”

Shrugging, Kate went on,
“There are more I’ve heard of, like her cousin Sydney, and her sister Chelly, and the librarian, Katie Long, and I think she even did some work for someone in New York, someone she works with up there.”

Patti sat back down behind her desk. Perhaps she needed to take another tack and quit the online match sites. Perhaps, she should try out this thing with Suzie, just to make sure she is covering all of her bases…

“Well, I’ve got to get home. Michaela is waiting for me at the sitter, Danny is likely home from basketball practice already and hungry, and Mike and I have a get-together tonight at his office. Should be a rowdy evening with all those ATF agents. I need to get ready.”

ATF?

Sigh….

Patti knew Mike had cute friends. And men in law enforcement turned her on a bit. Hm.

“Need a third wheel?”

Kate smiled and patted her friend
’s hand. “Nope. Believe me, you don’t want to get tangled up with anyone in that crew. The testosterone and Alpha male attitudes will be hitting it hard tonight, I’m sure. They just solved a huge case, and Mike’s entire team is ecstatic.”

“
But that sounds pretty fun.”

“
Believe me, you’re better off doing…” She paused and looked into Patti’s eyes. “What are you doing tonight?”

She didn
’t want to say ‘nothing.’ It was Friday night, the last day of school for almost three weeks. Everyone in Legend likely had some sort of Christmas plans, but not her. Not much of anything, anyway. “I’ve got a ton of work to do before the Winter Carnival on Wednesday, Kate.

I
’m too busy to go anyway.”

She registered the look on her friend
’s face immediately and knew that Kate wished she hadn’t made that last statement

“
Hey, shoosh!” She waved her away and moved toward the classroom door. Kate backed up. “You’ve got things to do, and I’ve got to clean up this classroom. Be gone with you!”

“
Patti, are you okay?” Kate’s worried look was getting to her.

“
Fine! Skedaddle. Get a move on. You have a hunky ATF hubby waiting. Now, vamoose.”

After a held gaze, Kate nodded and turned toward the open door.
“I’ll talk to you on

Monday. And I
’ll be back here Monday night and all day Tuesday to get the carnival booths set up.”

“
Excellent.”

“
See you then.”

“
Sounds good.”

And Kate left. Patti stared after the door for a moment, the silent classroom echoing the thoughts rolling around in her head. She wanted a husband, and a child to pick up from day care, too. Just like Kate. Of course, Kate hadn
’t had it easy. She and Mike had had their own difficulties getting together, but in the end, it had worked out for them.

Could it work out for her, too?

She just wasn’t sure it was in the grand plan for that to happen.

****

Jim Hamilton perched his elbows on his desk, his head in his hands, and rubbed his temples. Hard. What a week. If any instruction had happened this past week, he would be surprised. The powers-that-be would be down his throat had they realized all of the ‘play,’ or extra-curricular, that had occurred, particularly if instructional hours were lacking. Between the music and band departments’ joint Christmas concert on Wednesday night, and the dress rehearsal for that during the day, and the new dance and drama club’s recital on Thursday evening, and the dress rehearsal for that during the day, and the Christmas party today that was supposed to be only on Friday afternoon, but pretty much was extended to the entire day…not to mention that it took Monday and Tuesday to get ready for all of the above.

He sure hoped that no one on the school board got wind of all that.

But truly, he wasn’t worried. Legend Elementary was a high-achieving school. He’d worked hard to ensure that the children in the school were scoring proficient on their mandated exams. The small school had received accolades for the academic achievement of the students, and sat high on the Tennessee list for making the required gains set by the state.

Besides, he believed in play. It was developmentally appropriate for kids to play, at any age. He was still a strong proponent for recess, no matter what federal standards—or someone
’s interpretation of federal standards—indicated. And since his school was strong, he could get by with a little down time once and again.

His right temple throbbed like a mother. Play. He could use a little of that himself. He
’d not played in…well, if you were talking about adult play, too damned long. Being principal kept him busy 24/7, and there were certain expectations set for principals who resided and worked in small Southern towns. But if he didn’t allocate some time for adult play, or at the very least adult conversation, soon, he figured this headache he’d been carrying around for the last two weeks wasn’t going to go away.

Besides, it was damned difficult for him to date in this town. One dinner and all the jowls in town would flap like geese flying south over the lake. One date and every busybody in town figured he was looking and strived to hold their single and lovely-on-the-inside daughters up as available and potential wife-material.

Not for him. Made a busy and complicated life that much more complicated.

Thank God it was winter break. He knew he
’d be coming in to the office every day to catch up on paperwork, but at least he could sleep in, arrive on his own time, and didn’t have to deal with kids or staff.

A brisk knock sounded on his partially-open door.
“Jim?”

He glanced up. Immediately, his shoulders jerked back, and he sat up a little straighter.

Speaking of adult play….

“
Patti? I didn’t know you were still here.”

“
Do you have a sec?”

“
Absolutely.” He motioned to an old, overstuffed leather chair across from him. “Come on in.”

Down boy.
His libido was doing a little salute. Patti Jo Baker had been getting to him lately. Unsure of exactly why, it didn’t seem to matter. Yesterday, he’d had to turn his gaze the other way and not intentionally watch her sashay down the hall and bend to pick up an errant paper off the floor.

How long had he known her? Five…six years?

She was dangerous. Not to mention kooky and smart and funny as hell to be around.

Lately he
’d been wondering why someone hadn’t snatched her up.

Maybe they had and he didn
’t know it. He tried not to get too involved in his teachers’ personal lives, but talk in the lounge often turns to family and relationships, and he’d not heard of anything new going on with her, but then you never know….

Certainly she was hooked up with someone; he was going to make that assumption, so she was definitely off limits.

Not to mention that he had this unspoken rule of not dating his teachers. Bad ethics. Bad idea. Nothing good could come from it.

“
Jim, I have this big problem.” In all of his musing, he’d almost forgotten she was there.

“
Yes?”

“
Well…” She paused.

“
Well?”

“
Jim, I’ll just be blunt. I need a man.”

Jim just about swallowed his tongue.

****

“
I mean, I need a man’s help!”