Sweet Christmas Kisses (145 page)

“I suppose,” she said. Clearly, Lillian was happy to see the possibility of Jim and me getting back together even after so much time had passed. She glanced at Matthew, who was sitting at the little desk they had created for him near the cash register. He was “counting” his play money. “Yes, it seems things are under control here. You children have a nice evening. See you tomorrow?” This question was directed at me.

“I hope so. I feel the need to have the office open in the morning, just in case. But I’ll be out here as soon as I can.”

“You do what’s best for yourself, Melissa. I mean that.” She turned then and went to check a display of Christmas sock monkeys. But I wondered if there was more than one meaning to her statement. Was she afraid I would fall in with Jim without thinking through everything?

Jim stood beside me, looking around at the Christmas shop.

“Look around you, Melissa,” he said softly. “You and Matthew have made this possible. Before you came back to Serendipity, our family was really struggling. We still are, of course, but we’re getting our feet under us at last. Look at Francie. See what she’s wearing over those designer jeans and cashmere sweater? Dad’s favorite old Carhartt jacket. She’s worn it every day since the weather turned cool. Sure, she and Brad have lived in Florida, and you can imagine her blood has thinned some. But if you give her a big hug you’ll smell Dad’s aftershave mixed with pine from the trees.”

“Francie tells me Brad is flying up to have Christmas here, and Joseph is going to be here too. That will be so good for her. She’s sacrificed a lot. You all have.”

He shrugged. “It’s family. You do what needs doing. Like Carla over there giving decorating advice and enjoying herself. She doesn’t feel like she has to give up her work, or spend less time at her shop to work with me on the trees. She
would
do it, if we needed her to. That’s the point.”

Jim tipped his head toward the door where trees were sold and tied onto vehicles. “David’s not exactly in his element here, but he also doesn’t mind giving these few weeks to the farm. It makes him feel better about living away all year and not really contributing much in the way of physical labor. Plus, in my opinion, he just likes the excuse not to shave for a month straight.” He chuckled. “And now he’s going to be able to lend his marketing expertise to the new life of the farm.”

Jim looked around slyly, then snatched a little bag of chocolate chip cookies off the counter and slid it into his pocket. “And Mom. She’s really in her element, isn’t she? Working here in the shop, and thinking about how the B&B will work. If Dad were alive, we might not have needed the B&B, but we also wouldn’t have thought of it without you. You’ve done us such a favor.”

He sighed. “What a gift you’ve given us all, helping us look at our situation in a different way. I wish Dad could see us now. I think he’d be happy to know that even though we’re missing him like hell, we’re figuring out our road from here.” He took my hand gently. “Too bad he and Matthew never got to meet. Matthew’s such a trip, and I know Dad would have loved having him around. Would have taught him stuff about the farm, if he wanted to learn.”

I squeezed his hand. It was such a blessing to be accepted by this family.

“I wish Matthew could have met Harry too. Your dad was so good and kind, and so much fun.”

“Yes he was.” Jim sighed. “Okay, Ms. Singer, I’m going to sweep you off your feet tonight. Let’s stop talking about work.”

Jim followed me home in his truck and waited while I parked in my garage. Then I climbed into his pickup with him.

“Have you been to the Barbeque Basement?”

“Um, no. I’ve heard of it though.”

“Best barbeque in Serendipity.” 

“Also the only barbeque in Serendipity?”

“Well, yeah, unless people are grilling in their yards. It’s great stuff though. Some reviewer from the Louisville Courier-Journal came up and gave it a glowing write-up, so there are always crowds.”

Jim parked in a municipal lot just off the town square, because the small lot behind the restaurant and all the street parking was full. We went in the back door of what had previously been a shoe and clothing store. But instead of going into that portion of the building where I’d shopped as a kid for shoes, we went down the dark stairway into a huge rock-and-brick-walled basement. The white ceiling was heavily textured, so it reminded me of stalactites. The floor was concrete and brick, and there was a rough wood bar along one wall. The tables and chairs were sturdy but certainly not fancy. A little stage on the far end was empty for the moment except for the band’s instruments. They seemed to be taking a break at the bar. We had to wait a few minutes for a table, and it was in the middle of everything. The food was delicious, and the craft beer selection immense, but there was no chance for private conversation, or much of any conversation at all, once the band started playing. They were very talented though, and the whole experience reminded me of prom because of the loud music and funky décor. They were lacking a fake waterfall and grass huts, but still.

“I enjoyed that,” I said when we were outside in the cold fresh air again. “Such an unusual place, and so busy.”

“Like I said, people come up from Louisville. I’d guess twenty percent or more of tonight’s crowd wasn’t local.”

“I wonder if the management would let you put up some kind of advertisement about the tree farm. Next year, I mean. Might bring in a few customers from that area, and you know word of mouth.”

“Yeah. Word of mouth, good or bad, makes all the difference. But that’s a good idea. You’re always thinking, aren’t you, Mel?”

“I guess. Just trying to help.”

“Hey—I didn’t mean that to sound negative. It is a good idea, and you’ve had lots of them. I appreciate it. We all appreciate it.”

“Maybe it’s easier to look at things with the farm from a little bit outside like I do. I’d think it would be difficult to imagine changes from your perspective. Your focus this year especially is to honor Harry. That’s admirable.”

“No big deal. It’s just who we are.”

We were at the passenger side of the truck.

“Mel, I’m really out of practice at dating, and of all things, I don’t want to mess up when we’re trying to start over. What do you want to do now?”

“In the old days we would have hung out with our friends, gone bowling or to the drive-in theater. Or parked on the farm and made out,” I said, smiling up at him.

“Now there’s an option.”

I laughed. “That’s good to know. I wonder if the old zing is still there.”

I didn’t have to wonder long, because he leaned down and gently kissed my lips. The electric pulse surely wasn’t all weather-related static. I responded, and then his arms were around me, holding me as if I were the most precious person in the world to him.

“Oh, Mel,” he said into my hair. “I can’t believe you’re here. I’m so thankful we have a chance to start over.” He opened the door for me to climb in, then closed it softly. And sure enough, he drove us back to the farm, but this time to the northwest corner where his neat cabin sat.

“We can sit in the truck and make out, or go indoors and make out.”

“Is there a possibility of going indoors and talking?”

He groaned. “We already talked.” He got out of the truck and opened my door. “Okay, I guess. You’re the company, so if you want to talk instead, we can. Is this going to be a habit?” He unlocked the cabin door and opened it for me. “Or do you think there’s still a future for something more physical?”

“Oh, I’d say there’s a great future for it. But we still have some things to iron out between us. More than I realized.”

“What does that mean?” He turned on the gas log fire. “Something to drink?”

“Um. No thanks. I’m fine.” I sat on the couch this time, facing the fire, and Jim sat next to me, and pulled my hands into his.

“What is it, Mel? You’re worried about something.”

“Jim, you and I have taken different paths to get here. I’m glad now I understand why you literally pushed me down my own path. But nonetheless, we’ve made decisions that brought us from nearly this exact location years ago, back here tonight. We could put it down to coincidence maybe, but I’m not much of a believer in coincidences. So I think there’s an important reason you and I are here now.”

“I hope it’s making out, at the very least.”

He said it so deadpan, I laughed out loud.

“I need to tell you something about Matthew. I haven’t shared it with many people. Carla and Francie don’t even know.”

“Matthew? Is he sick? Can I help somehow?”

“Oh—my goodness. No, he isn’t sick.” I stood up and started to pace, needing the distance.

“It’s more about Matthew’s dad.”

“He wants visitation?”

“Um. Well, no. He doesn’t even know he’s Matthew’s dad.” I felt my face getting hot. “I became pregnant with Matthew through
in vitro
fertilization. I went to a clinic and filled out a profile and from the possibilities, I chose this nice sounding donor. Never saw a name or where he lived, and I didn’t care. I wanted to be a mom, and I have never regretted my decision.”

“Good for you. You’re a terrific mom. I wanted kids so much. Diana—she didn’t.”

We looked at each other for a minute or more. I had hoped Jim would pick up on my line of reasoning, but it seemed I’d have to spell it all out—without letting him know I had been told what Diana had done.

I took a deep breath. “Since coming back to Serendipity, I’ve noticed several things about Matthew that remind me of you. Sometimes the two of you will look at me, and it’s like he’s a smaller version of you. Isn’t that funny?”

Jim frowned. “Funny?”

“Well, yes. Don’t you think so?”

“I would call it something else. Maybe a miracle.” He cleared his throat. “Diana said she couldn’t get pregnant, and that she wanted to. We were going
in vitro
. But instead of going to the doctor to get the sperm implanted, she sold it. At least, that’s what she said she did. I haven’t been able to corroborate it at all, and I’ve tried.” He hung his head. “She really hated me a lot. Still does, as far as I know.”

“Why?”

“She said our marriage was a lie. That I had only married her—used her—to further my career. She said…” He rubbed his hand over his stubbled jaw. “She said I was still in love with you.”

“But you weren’t.”

“Diana got a lot of things wrong, but about that one thing, she was right.”

“Oh, wow. And I thought I had suffered.”

“We all did. You, me, Diana. What a mess.”

“We survived. And about Matthew. I don’t expect you to do anything different. He’s crazy about you as it is.”

“I’d like to have DNA testing done. If Matthew is my son, I want to do right by him, and by you, Mel. Looks like my good intentions sent us on an awful long road to come right back where we started.”

I stopped pacing, sat down next to him. “I’m okay with the DNA testing, after Christmas sometime when life slows down. And the long road? I’m glad for that. It surprises me, but I really am glad. I came back to Serendipity to make a name for myself, in a town where I felt I’d been mistreated by gossip as a teenager. I bought the Osborne house because it would give me control over the memory of prom night. But being here has helped me realize I was already a person I could be proud of, and I had already risen above the pain of the past by making my own life.”

“Meaning you don’t need me anymore, like you did?”

“Exactly, Jim. I don’t need you the way I did.” I slipped my hand into his. “I need you the way I do now. I like this equal footing better, and I have you to thank for that. You and your twisted teenage logic.”

“Is this a good time for celebratory making out, do you think?”

I moved into his arms and kissed him. Even kissing was better now than it had been when we were young. Our relationship had progressed immensely—in spite of, and partly because of, the years we’d been apart.

From that evening on, there wasn’t a night that I didn’t fall asleep with a smile on my face. Every night after Matthew was tucked in, I snuggled into my bed with my phone and had a long conversation with Jim. We talked about books and movies and travel, hopes and fears, and plans for the future. Hesitation was out the window. We knew who we were and where we were going. And that, finally, we were going there together.

The joy of the Christmas season was multiplied for me this year because of being so happy in every facet of my life. But a part of me still worried about Lillian, Francie, Carla, David and Jim who were facing this most important holiday of their family’s life, for the first time without Harry.

Christmas Eve dawned cold and clear. Today would be relatively quiet since most people already had their trees. But there were always a few, Lillian said, who waited until Christmas Eve. 

“Who am I to question? It’s their tradition. We all have our own, don’t we?”

Francie’s husband Brad and their son Joseph had arrived the previous evening and were staying with Lillian too in the big house. They both put on work clothes and boots and pitched in where they were needed. The farm closed for the season on Christmas Eve at six.

The time came and no customers remained outside. Joseph and Brad, David and Jim gathered up the tools and put them into the box of Jim’s truck, so he could take them home to sharpen, oil, and whatever was needed. Next year the tools would be in good shape.

Next year there would indeed be another Christmas on the Standish tree farm.

The guys came into the Christmas shop and helped extinguish pine-scented candles and unplug light displays. Carla was emptying the cash register, and Lillian walked around tidying as she did each evening. Francie shut off the CD player that had piped music inside and out for all those weeks.

That’s when we heard it, sung so softly in a child’s voice:

“I’ll be home for Christmas. You can count on me…”

Lillian gasped. Francie and Carla clapped their hands over their mouths. David’s jaw dropped and in spite of the scruffy beard, I could see his face turn pale.