Sweet Home Alaska (8 page)

Trey felt like he’d been sucker-punched in the gut.
Her own show?
It was her dream. Her dream was about to become reality, and while he wanted to be happy for her, all he felt was sadness. He stepped away from the door. “Thank you.”

Trey wasn’t sure where to go. He felt disoriented. Should he go back to the hotel, to his place, or to the office? Every decision he’d made in the past weeks was with Lauren in mind. Where he’d meet her, what they would talk about, the grand re-opening, and her ideas to make it a success. Now he felt adrift and alone.

How she’d managed to become so important to him in such a short period of time, he couldn’t begin to understand. He drove. He wasn’t sure where he was going, but driving his truck always helped to relax him.

It was approaching 7 o’clock and the midnight sun still illuminated the sky. He ended up at the bluffs near the playground where he often ran. He got out of his truck, and stared at the ocean of Cook Inlet and beyond to Mt. Redoubt. The wind whipped his nylon jacket. He loved this view, and never imaged himself living any other place on earth.

It amazed him the way Lauren had picked up after high school and left so quickly. How could she ever leave Alaska? There was no other place for him. Alaska was his home.

He had to believe their affair was just that—an affair. She would leave now and she’d be only a memory—a summer fling. He looked beyond the slide and swing set to the wild irises blowing in the breeze.

His phone buzzed. He looked at the screen and saw Lauren’s name.

He swiped across the screen and held the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

“Trey, hi, it’s me. I tried to call you earlier,” she said.

“Yeah, sorry, I was really busy. I didn’t hear my phone.”

“It’s okay. I just wanted to let you know I’ve just landed at LAX. Crazy, huh?”

“Yeah, I stopped by Moose’s Tooth and they told me you have a meeting with the Food Network. They want to give you your own show. Congratulations.” He said the words earnestly, but a selfish part of him wished she never got that call. If she didn’t get that call, she’d be here with him.

“Wow. News travels fast. I wanted to tell you myself and I didn’t want to text you about it, either. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too, but I’m happy for you. I wish you the best. You know that.”

“Trey, why do you have that tone?”

“What tone?”

“That ‘goodbye’ tone. I wasn’t calling to say goodbye. I have to see what their proposal is. I don’t know that I’m going to take it, but when they agreed to put me on the next plane to discuss a show, the possibility of my own show, I had to come.”

“Of course you’ll take their offer. This is your dream. Your own show on television. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted,” he said, trying to keep his voice light.

“It
was
everything I ever wanted, but now there are more things to consider. There’s the Moose’s Tooth, my grandmother’s legacy, and there’s you. Everything’s different now. And if I am being completely honest, I’d say what I wanted most was for my grandma to forgive me. I took her for granted. I never got the chance to say ‘I’m sorry’ to her, and I left the bakery for her to run on her own,” she said.

“You had every right to leave, and she knew you were sorry,” Trey said empathically.

“No, she didn’t.”

“She did.” Trey should have told her a long time ago. “She knew about your blog.”

“My blog?” she asked quietly.

“Your
Sweet Home Alaska
blog.”

“Grandma read my blog?”

“Yes. She knew you were torn up about where you belonged—you said as much on some of your earlier posts.” Trey should have told her the very first time they met. He suddenly felt like he’d kept a secret that wasn’t his right to keep.

“But she never said anything to me.” Her voice was quiet, barely audible. “She didn’t even own a computer.”

“I told her about your blog. She’d go to the library and read it. She knew about your attitudes toward food, gatherings, family—she knew the bakery meant as much to you, as it did to her and that you’d come around.”

“I’m not coming around. I’ve got the chance at my dream job now—and it isn’t in Alaska. It isn’t in her bakery!” she said, sounding heartbroken.

He regretted not telling her the truth sooner. “I know that,” he said. “But Elsie never blamed you. She knew you loved her, and you have to make the right decision for you. If Alaska isn’t where you want to live, then you shouldn’t be here.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me that my grandma read my blog? Why didn’t you ever tell me
you
read my blog?”

He wanted to fix things between them. Fixing things is what he did, or tried to do. He wasn’t about to step in the way of her dreams. She would only resent him later. Besides, he would never leave Alaska.

Their summer affair wouldn’t have lasted anyway. It was better this way. “I stumbled upon your blog by accident. I told Elsie about it, but no one else. I was going to tell you this morning before you left our hotel room. The truth is, I knew our relationship was just temporary because of the job.”

“Trey, stop it. I don’t believe you.” She sounded angry.

“And as much as you talked about your fast-paced life in L.A. on your blog, I didn’t think you’d ever really be happy here.” He gripped the phone with such force he thought it might break.

“Trey, there is a difference in what I posted on my blog for entertainment purposes. What I was posting was the real me and how I really felt and thought,” she said.

“The blog doesn’t matter. I just wanted to come clean about it. I respect you and I didn’t want any secrets between us.”

“My blog wasn’t a secret,” she said.

“I know, but you wrote it as L. Kinkade. You never said your first name, so I wasn’t sure if you wanted anonymity or not. Regardless of your blog, I think you and I have different ideas about where our relationship was going.” He swallowed hard. The words were a lie and he wasn’t good at lying.

He was about to add more to his lie before she said, “I’m angry at you for not telling me you knew about the blog. I hate having this discussion over the phone, but I am really falling in love with you and I thought you were falling for me, too.”

A knot formed in his stomach and his lungs couldn’t hold air. He heard the hesitation in her voice and thought she was waiting for him to confirm or deny his intentions.

“You were wrong. I wasn’t falling for you.” The words felt bitter and stung his mouth to say them. “As soon as the job was finished, I knew we’d be finished, too.” His phone beeped at the perfect time. The incoming call was from the hotel manager. “Listen, I’ve got to go. Congratulations again. I can’t wait to watch you on television. I’m sure you’ll top the ratings and you’ll have everything you’ve ever wanted. Goodbye, Lauren.”

He hung up quickly before he changed his mind. He told himself he was doing the right thing. That if she stayed, with him, in Alaska, he would never live with the fact that she’d given up on her dream for him. She would eventually resent him for it. He could never live with that. Yes, he was in love with her. He had no doubt about that. Otherwise, he wouldn’t hurt so much.

Chapter Eleven

Lauren’s meeting with the executives of the Food Network couldn’t have gone any better. She’d spent the week signing papers, seeking advice from her agent, and hiring attorneys, but now she was on her way back home—home to Alaska, sweet home Alaska.

The past week had been the most exciting of her life, and all she could think about was how she wasn’t sharing it with Trey. He should have been with her. Her gut told her he wanted to be with her, but his words on the phone were hurtful.

Now, with all her decisions made, she felt happier than she’d ever been. Now she only had to share it with Trey.

She left L.A. on the redeye and arrived home at 6:00 a.m. As soon as her plane landed, she went home, took a shower, put on her skirt and heels, and picked up the phone. She was exhausted, but that didn’t matter.

Lauren dialed Briggs Enterprises.

“Briggs Enterprises. This is Kayla, how may I help you?”

“Hello, Kayla. It’s Lauren. Can you tell me where Trey is?” Her words came out in a rush.

“Sure. He’s at the hotel overseeing a few things there. I don’t expect him back in the office today. Hey, I heard you were going to L.A. to talk with the Food Network about having your own show?”

“Yes, it’s true,” Lauren answered. Now she knew where Trey was.

“That’s big news. Our town doesn’t have anyone famous in it. Not until now.”

“Thanks. Not sure how famous I’ll be, but yes, this actually is a big deal. You know, I had a lot of time to think on the plane, and I was wondering what Trey’s fascination is with wild iris flowers? He plants them around town, and they are designed in the stained glass at the hotel. I was just curious—do you know?”

“Yes, because of his little sister, Iris. She died when she was three. Trey’s never talked about it, but his older brother told me he took it very hard. Trey was only five at the time.”

“I had no idea.” A stab of remorse lay buried in her breast. “I’ve got to run. Maybe we can meet up later. We should go out to lunch or something.”

“Sure. Sounds good,” Kayla said with a surprised tone.

Lauren steadied herself, sat down on her couch, and signed onto her laptop. She searched the name ‘Iris Briggs’ in Alaska. The beaming face of a three-year-old girl with red hair smiled back at her. She read the obituary. Iris had died of cancer. Her heart squeezed in anguish for Trey and his loss.

She was actually trembling now. Not only for Trey’s loss, but for her own, too. She’d never come to terms with her grandmother’s death. She hadn’t even faced it yet. Not really. She preferred being angry, or so busy working she didn’t have time to feel this desolate sense of loss.

She had lost her parents, she lost her grandma, and she desperately didn’t want to lose Trey.

After strapping herself into her van, she headed straight to the hotel. She knew with her current state of emotions it wasn’t the best way to approach a meeting with Trey, but she had to do it. What if she was wrong? What if Trey was telling her the truth, that he really wasn’t interested in anything further between them? And why didn’t he ever say he’d been following her blog?

She pulled into the Salmon Catcher parking lot, put her van into park, and resolved to go after what she wanted. And what she wanted was Trey Briggs.

She trod across the parking lot with confidence she didn’t feel, but she was determined to make those acting classes pay off. Even if she didn’t feel sure of herself, she was going to act like she was.

She stepped into the hotel’s busy lobby. There were staff members clearing away dishes from the morning’s breakfast. There were people passing in and out of the front doors, up and down the spiral staircase, and customers checking out. She searched the faces until she spotted Trey walking across the mosaic-tiled lobby talking with a member of the housekeeping staff. When he looked up, he locked gazes with Lauren and immediately stopped talking. His mouth hung open for the briefest of moments until he said something quietly to the staff member and she continued down the hall.

Trey stood immobile, staring at her, taking in every inch of her with his eyes. He stepped forward and smiled, though Lauren noted the lines of stress etched in his face. “I hear congratulations are in order. You signed the deal.”

“Yes, I did. Who told you?” She clutched her handbag like a lifeline, hoping it might keep her steady.

“I don’t remember. This is a small town. News travels fast,” he said. His voice sounded emotionless and flat.

Lauren had asked her staff not to tell anyone. But then, people in this town never could keep a secret.

“Will you be selling the Moose’s Tooth before you leave?” Trey asked in a louder-than-normal voice, as though everyone in the lobby was included in the conversation between them.

“Are you so anxious for me to leave then?” she spouted, just as loud. “Who said I was leaving?”

“I…” he said in a more subdued tone, “…just assumed you were.”

“You shouldn’t make assumptions like that.”

“Lauren, maybe we should go someplace more private to discuss this.” He placed his arm on her back and urged her to walk toward the front doors.

“There’s no reason not to keep the good news private.” This wasn’t going the way she’d planned. She slowly released a pent-up sigh. “I signed the deal.”

“So you’ll be moving back to L.A.?” His tone was businesslike. It grated against every nerve ending in her body.

“I didn’t say what the deal was. But then, you made it pretty clear you didn’t want to be part of that decision.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

He refused to look her in the eye. He looked behind her and beside her, not directly at her. “I’d like to hear what you have decided.”

She also noticed he didn’t shave this morning. He had the shadow of beard stubble and dark circles under his eyes. She said, “If you’d look at me. I would like to tell you.”

He flexed the muscles in his angular jaw. People continued to mill around them in a beehive of activity. Finally, his intense blue eyes looked at her and she had that swoony feeling, like she might pass out. She was going on very little sleep, but she believed her physical reaction to him had nothing to do with sleep deprivation. “I’m not leaving. I’m staying in Alaska. This is my home. The show is coming to me.”

His eyes widened, but he said nothing.

“Add me to the list of Alaskan shows people seem to love:
Alaska State Troopers, Ice Road Truckers, Mountain Men, Deadliest Catch
. The Food Network wants to jump on the bandwagon with
Frontier Woman
.”

“Your show is called
Frontier Woman
? And it’s going to be filmed right here, in our town?” His voice sounded hopeful and light.

“Yes. I have to go to L.A. once a month to oversee the editing, but other than that, I’m home to stay. Well, other than needing a new home. They want my house to be natural log and on the river. You know, they love that rustic Alaskan-y look, so my apartment over the Moose’s Tooth isn’t going to cut it.”