Read Sweet Misfortune: A Novel Online

Authors: Kevin Alan Milne

Sweet Misfortune: A Novel (5 page)

BOOK: Sweet Misfortune: A Novel
13.52Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Evalynn still didn’t say anything.

“Look,” Sophie continued, “I know it’s probably not how you choose to cope, but it works for me. Okay?”

Part of Evalynn wanted to walk over and shake some sense into Sophie, while another part of her would have liked to track down Garrett Black and make him pay for what he’d done to her heart. But Evalynn knew she could do neither. She simply gave a nod and a wan smile. “Okay, Sophie.”

Together they made their way back down the hill to the road, neither of them speaking as they walked. With their backs to the Joneses’ headstone, they failed to notice the lone figure behind the large hedge near the cedar tree. They didn’t hear the twig that snapped beneath his foot as he stepped from his cover and stood above Thomas and Cecilia Jones.

After several moments, he bent down and placed a small, round stone on the lower corner of the tombstone. With the opposite hand, he gently lifted the truffle, pulled out the pin and its tiny paper fortune, and popped the morsel in his mouth. Then he quietly disappeared into the deepening shadows and trees.

Chapter 6

Is it love or pity? Try not to dwell on it.

F
IVE DAYS AND ELEVEN HOURS LATER, THE CELL PHONE
on Sophie’s nightstand started vibrating, yanking her from another restless night long before she was ready to wake up. She squinted at the screen to check the time—6:26
AM
—then stared at the picture of the caller, debating whether or not to answer.

“This is my one day off,” Sophie groaned, as she reluctantly picked up. “You’re horrible for calling at this hour.”

“Couldn’t be helped,” replied Evalynn cheerfully. “And it’s not like you need beauty sleep.” She shifted to the Zsa Zsa Gabor impersonation that she’d perfected in high school. “You’re gor-ge-ous, darling, simply gor-ge-ous.”

Sophie hesitated. “Thanks, but you’re still horrible. Besides, it’s too early in the morning for flattery.” She paused to rub her eyes. “What do you want, Mrs. Mason-Mack?”

“First, I want you to
never
call me that again.
Mrs.
makes me sound old. And second, Justin and I are heading out early today, but before we leave I wanted to let you know that you should go pick up a copy of the Sunday
Times
. I think you’ll want to check out page G4.”

“What’s on page G4?” she asked groggily, still trying to shake off the cobwebs of sleep.

“Well, do you want me to spoil the surprise, or do you prefer to wait and read it on your own?”

“Ev. It’s o’dark hundred. Tell me whatever it is you’ve found, so I can go back to sleep.”

Evalynn snickered into the phone. “Honestly, Soph, you’re so going to laugh. Okay, maybe not laugh, but… just swear to me you’ll go get a copy of the paper for yourself. For posterity’s sake.”

“Posterity? That’s laughable.”

“You swear?” Evalynn asked, still bubbling with excitement.

“Evi Mack, get on with it, already, or I’m hanging up.”

“Okay fine. Here goes. Two words. Ready?”

“Evalynn!”

“All right! I just love the buildup. Here it is. ‘
Wanted. Happiness
.’ ” She drew the two words out slowly and clearly, articulating every syllable.

There was a long moment of silence. Then Sophie groaned. “He actually placed the ad?”

“Yep.”

“I totally expected him to ditch the idea. There’s no way he’ll ever get a hundred responses.”

“I guess he thinks otherwise.”

Another groan. “How did you find it?”

“Dumb luck. I was looking to see if there were any garage sales near my in-laws. Justin is dragging me along to visit his family today in Everett, and I know his mom likes hunting for deals, so I thought I’d take her out, see if I can’t get her to like me.”

Sophie heard Justin in the background tell Evalynn, unconvincingly, that his mom “usually” liked her.

“She hates my guts,” whispered Evalynn into the phone, and then returned to her normal, loud voice. “Anyway, I was scanning down through the ads, and this one just jumped off the page. The heading is in very large print. And bold.”

“Please tell me he didn’t use my name.”

“Nope. No name, no phone number. Just your PO box in Tacoma. Oh, and a little blurb at the end that says women need not respond, ’cuz you’re a smokin’ hot lady lookin’ for Mr. Right.”

“Shut it.”

“Wait, I misread. It actually says, ‘Grumpy single woman with no sense of humor whatsoever. Will settle for misery and despair.’ ”

A giant yawn escaped Sophie’s mouth. “Stop. I already told you, it’s too early for flattery.”

“Fine, I’ve got to run anyway. Justin is literally pulling on my sleeve to go. Says if we don’t leave now we’ll run into Seahawks traffic in the city.”

“Great. Well thanks for waking me up with such wonderful news, Ev,” Sophie deadpanned. “You’re a real pal.”

“Oh, I see how it is. Flattery is out, but it’s obviously not too early for sarcasm.”

“It’s what I do best.”

“Ciao, Soph!”

Sophie put the phone back and pulled the covers up over her head, but after tossing and turning, and stuffing her head beneath the pillow, and still finding it impossible to go back to sleep, she rolled out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. Once she got in the hot bath she didn’t want to get out, so she remained in long enough that her skin was pruned. Then she threw on a sweatshirt and her most comfortable pair of jeans, slung an umbrella over her shoulder, and went for a walk in the morning sun.

There was a small market just around the corner from her house, but it didn’t open until nine o’clock on Sundays, so Sophie crossed to the shore side of the road, walking south along the harbor to the next intersection. Half a mile from there, near the top of a steep hill, was a shopping plaza with a drugstore that sold newspapers from vending machines out front. One dollar and fifty cents later, she was thumbing through the
Seattle Times
.

Shortly thereafter she found section G, turned to page four, and scanned it for bold letters.

Sophie grunted when she saw the ad halfway down the second column, just below a notice that someone was giving away kittens. She tried hard to force a frown, but found resistance in the form of a smile that kept playing at the corner of her mouth as she read, and then reread, the want ad.

Wanted: Happiness

Please help me find
what I’ve lost. Send
suggestions to PO Box
3297, TACOMA, WA
98402 (Lasting hap-
piness only, please.
Nothing that fleets.)

“Garrett Black,” she said aloud, shaking her head while her lips still fluxed between grimace and grin. “Don’t get your hopes up. Everything fleets.”

Part II

The Beginning

Chapter 7

You will soon fall in love.
Caution: when people fall, something usually breaks.

October 2007

Y
OU DIDN’T,“ GARRETT GROANED INTO THE PHONE
. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

Olivia DeMattio was on the other end of the line at her home in Seattle, and she sounded as giddy as a schoolgirl. DeMattio was her married name—second marriage, the first having ended almost before it began. Although Olivia liked the sound of her married surname, she’d always disliked her first name—perhaps because no one ever used it. Her husband of sixteen years, Ken DeMattio, Jr., an accountant working for Microsoft, sometimes called her Liv. Either that or Sugar, Cookie, Sugar Cookie, or his personal favorite, Cookie Sheet. Friends at the police station usually called her Livie, unless they were on patrol, in which case she answered to “Dispatch.” Her own mother, who had named her Olivia in the first place, had only ever addressed her as Olive, which was like torture to Olivia growing up. “My daughter, Olive,” her mother would tell friends, “is quite a little pickle. Like her very own vegetable platter.”

Garrett never called Olivia by any of those names. To him she was simply Mom.

“Oh, c’mon, Garrett. Don’t pretend like you’re not interested.”

Garrett waited before responding. “It just feels an awful lot like a blind date, and you know how I hate those.”

“Why is it a blind date? Because she doesn’t know who you are?
Pfff
. Even if it were a blind date—
which it’s not
—but if it were, a blind date is better than no date, right?” Olivia paused. “And who knows, the two of you might end up finding something you didn’t know was missing. I mean, we already know you have a lot in common.”

“Incredible. You just jumped from a blind date to… what? A missing something-or-other with a woman I’ve never even met?”

Olivia was momentarily mute. “So you’re going to turn down this opportunity?”

Garrett pulled the phone away from his ear long enough to tell his head nurse that he’d be right there. “Fine,” he said reluctantly into the receiver, after the nurse was out of earshot. “I’ll go. But don’t count on anything coming of it. I’m only going out of curiosity. One date, nothing more.”

“Whatever you say, Garrett.”

“Good. As long as that’s understood. Now, does Sophie know anything about me?”

“Just what I’ve told Ellen at work, which isn’t much.”

“Is there anything else you can tell me about her?”

Olivia paused to think. “Nothing comes to mind that you don’t already know. But I saw pictures today.”

“And?”

Olivia snorted. “And you’ll just have to wait and see.” She hesitated. “But Garrett?”

“Yes.”

“Just remember to take a look at what she’s got on the inside.”

He knew what that meant. As a kid, whenever the subject of girls came up, Garrett’s mother never missed an opportunity to tell him that “the real gems of the female race are often disguised behind imperfect exteriors.” Olivia herself had never been what one would describe as a beauty queen, and Garrett was pretty sure she considered herself to be one of those hidden gems.

“Don’t worry,” he promised. “I’ll be nice, no matter what she looks like.”

Garrett knew what was coming after the next bit of silence.

“You’re a good boy, Garrett.”

“Not a boy anymore, Mom.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Hey, I’ve got to run. Can you just e-mail me the details for this date?”

“No. It’s seven o’clock this Friday. You can remember that without an e-mail. But she doesn’t want you to pick her up, so I need you to tell me where you’d like to meet, so I can pass it on to Ellen.”

“Oh. Ummm… well, there’s a fantastic little KFC not too far from—”

“Garrett.”

“Fine. How about the Space Needle? I’ve only ever gone up there for the view, but I hear the restaurant is great.”

“I think that’ll be nice. You make the reservations, and I’ll let Ellen know you’ll meet Sophie in the gift shop at seven.”

He checked his watch, noting that his next patient had already been waiting for five minutes. “How will I recognize her?”

Olivia let out a little laugh. “Just look for a hidden gem who’s all alone, and that’ll probably be her.”

Garrett sighed heavily into the phone. “One date only,” he reminded her.

“Talk to you later, Garrett.”

The phone clicked off.

F
RIDAY CAME MUCH
faster than Garrett Black wanted it to. He toyed once or twice with the idea of calling his mom and telling her he was sick in bed, but he feared that she’d send one of her detective friends to check out his story, and then there’d be hell to pay.

At a quarter after six he reluctantly left his office in Tacoma, and by five minutes to seven he’d found an empty parking space a few blocks south of the Space Needle along Fourth Avenue. After feeding a crisp ten-dollar bill to the parking meter, he walked the remaining quarter-mile to Seattle’s mostrecognizable landmark—the Space Needle, a towering, 605-foot structure that was built as the centerpiece of the 1962 World Fair, and which was adorned at the top by what clearly resembled a UFO.

Checking his watch once more before entering the gift shop at ground level, Garrett saw that he was already two minutes late. Inside, he scanned the dozens of people who were wandering around eyeing souvenirs, but the handful of women who fit the somewhat homely image he’d contrived in his head of a diamond in the rough were either already with a man or had children hanging on them. One of the women, with a young boy, smiled at him when she caught him looking, and he smiled back, then chuckled softly to himself. He’d dated women with children before and had nothing against it, but the thought of going on a first date with the children in tow? Not an ideal situation.

Continuing his search for Sophie Jones, Garrett made two full loops around the doughnut-shaped store, but still didn’t find anyone who fit the bill. “I hate blind dates,” he muttered.

As he passed the south elevators for the third time to start another loop, someone tapped him on the shoulder. Turning to his right, Garrett found himself face-to-face with one of the most striking women he’d ever laid eyes on, though it wasn’t the first time he’d ever seen her. He’d already noticed her on each of the previous loops, but had purposefully diverted his gaze out of fear that he’d be caught ogling. She was nicely dressed in slacks and a V-neck sweater. The woman’s blond hair fell a little past her shoulder in thick, wavy locks, her lips and dimpled cheeks formed a very cute smile, and her bright blue eyes sparkled and smiled all on their own.

“You look lost,” she said.

“Oh,” he replied, stammering. “No. I’m just… I’m looking for someone. Supposed to meet a girl… lady… a woman, actually.”
Idiot
.

Her smile grew. “Well, can I help you out?”

Yes,
he thought. “No. I’m fine. I’m sure she’ll turn up sooner or later. Hopefully sooner, because we have dinner reservations in one minute.”

“What does she look like?” she asked, grinning.

“Good question. But I don’t have a good answer. This is sort of a blind date, as pathetic as that may sound.”

She nodded. “That does sound pathetic.”

“Even more pathetic is the fact that my mom was the one who set me up.”

“Ouch.”

“I know.”

The slender blonde pointed to a stout woman with matted brown hair who’d just come through the main entrance. “She seems nice. Maybe that’s her.”

Garrett shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Well why don’t you go introduce yourself?”

He shrugged again, then walked over and asked the woman if her name was Sophie Jones. She tossed her hair to the side, stepped closer to him, touched him on the arm, and told him she could be Sophie Jones if he wanted her to. Taking that as a no, he returned to the blonde, who was trying hard not to laugh.

“Not her?” she asked.

“Afraid not.”

The woman bit her lower lip and twirled a tuft of hair around her finger. “I have a great idea,” she said after a few seconds. “Why don’t you go to the front desk and have her paged? That’ll save you both the effort of finding each other.”

He looked at his watch, then nodded. “That’ll help save time, too. Thanks.”

The main desk was just a little ways back, near the elevator. The woman followed Garrett up to the counter.

“Can I have someone paged?” he asked the young lady standing behind the desk.

“Of course. Are they lost?” she asked. “Not your children, I hope.” She looked back and forth between Garrett and the woman standing next to him.

“Oh… no… we’re not,” Garrett said, stammering again, while glancing at the blonde. “I’m looking for someone. She’s just helping me out.”

“Okay,” the receptionist said. “What’s the name?”

“Sophie Jones.”

“Thank you. One moment please.” The young woman adjusted her Space Needle–embroidered vest and leaned in toward a small microphone behind the counter, then pressed a button on the base of the short microphone stand. “Sophie Jones to the front desk. Sophie Jones to the front desk, please. Your party is waiting.”

People all throughout the store stopped to listen to the announcement. Then they continued about their business.

The blond woman next to Garrett snickered. But her snickering quickly grew to a giggle, which in turn advanced to mild cackling, which rapidly escalated to outright laughter. She held her side with one hand and wiped at a small tear with the other.

The receptionist and Garrett both stared at her, dumbfounded.

“I… am… so… sorry!” she managed to say between fits of laughter. She extended her hand. “
I’m
… Sophie Jones.”

Garrett’s jaw dropped as they shook hands. “But you… I mean you’re…
you’re
Sophie?” She wasn’t anything close to the diamond in the rough that he’d envisioned. She was
better.

She nodded, still giggling. “I figured it was you—or you were him—when I first tapped you on the shoulder. But you never said who you were looking for, so I just played along.” She wiped again at her eyes. “I really am sorry. But thank you for that. I needed a good laugh.”

“Glad I could oblige,” Garrett said, still stunned that
this
woman was his date. He thought back to his mother’s advice that he should look hard at what she had on the inside, and it suddenly seemed all the more prudent. It would have been very easy with someone as attractive as Sophie to be taken in on looks alone.

Since they were already running late, Sophie and Garrett caught the very next elevator to the Space Needle’s restaurant, five hundred feet up and just below the topmost observation deck. A waiter named Andre was ready to seat them as soon as the elevator doors opened.

“Careful,” Andre said, as the pair stepped into the dining area. “The floor moves.” He led them halfway around the O-shaped restaurant to a black granite table beside the
Needle’s outer window. As they walked, Andre explained how, unlike the rest of the Space Needle, the restaurant spun continually in a circle, making a complete rotation at least once per hour so that patrons could enjoy a 360-degree view of the surrounding landscape. After a few other facts and figures about the history and purpose of the structure, Andre handed each of them a menu. He recommended that they try the Alaskan Salmon and Pacific Northwest Dungeness Crab Cakes, and then he left to fetch drinks.

Once they’d placed their orders—neither of them chose the salmon and crab cakes—Sophie retrieved a pen from her purse and scribbled some words around the edge of a pink packet of Sweet’n Low that she’d grabbed from a small basket in the center of the table. When she was done, she placed it on the windowsill next to the table.

“What’s that for?” Garrett asked.

“Souvenir,” she remarked. “It’s kind of a tradition here. I wrote our names and today’s date on it, plus where we’re from. Everyone in the restaurant will see it in the window as they pass by, and a few of them will add their names to it just for fun. Some might even write us a message. So thirty or forty minutes from now, when we’ve come full circle, I’ll have a little memento of our visit.” She paused. “Would you like one?”

“Sure. Just not pink. A white sugar packet would be great.”

Sophie made a few scribbles on a spare sugar packet and placed it in the window. At the rate they were spinning, the Sweet’n Low was already ten feet away. “There you go. Years from now, you’ll have something sweet to remember me by.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, then unfolded her napkin and placed it on her lap.

“After announcing your name over the intercom, I don’t think I’ll be forgetting you anytime soon.”

She bit her lip and smiled. “I really am sorry,” she said. “Tell you what. Why don’t we start over with some basic introductions? We sort of missed the get-to-know-you formalities downstairs because we were in a hurry.”

“Which formalities, exactly?”

“You know. ‘Hi, my name is Sophie. It’s a pleasure to meet you.’ That sort of thing.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah? Good.”

Garrett waited, but she just stared at him, smiling. “Oh, you want me to start?” he asked.

BOOK: Sweet Misfortune: A Novel
13.52Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Other books

ZAK SEAL Team Seven Book 3 by Silver, Jordan
Blue Movie by Terry Southern
Quaking by Kathryn Erskine
Moonburn by Alisa Sheckley
The Hounds and the Fury by Rita Mae Brown