Sweet Obsession (11 page)

Nidal sighed and whispered softly, “Don’t do this to me, Loula, please. I have to go. It’s a very important meeting. I would not leave you like this if it were not,” he whispered. His eyes looked sadly into mine.

I pulled away from him, knowing that I would be miserable tonight without him. Nidal quickly followed behind me, reassuring me that he would be back as soon as he could, but as soon as he spoke those words, we both knew it was going to be a long night. I walked into the bathroom and slammed the door shut in Nidal’s face, as he stood there, stunned. He pounded on the door a few times, begging me to let him in, but I ignored him. A few seconds later, I heard him walk away, closing the door behind him.

Desperate now, I wanted to know exactly what was being discussed in the meetings.
Is there reason for me to worry? And why is he in training every morning? Is he getting ready for a battle?
Cold sweat broke out all over my body at the thought of Nidal fighting and putting himself in danger. I knew Nidal would never tell me anything that would make me upset.
So how am I to find out?

Billal popped into my mind. I was sure that he knew what was happening.
Maybe if I try hard enough, he will tell me what the secret is.
I had no other choice.
Tomorrow when Nidal leaves for his lessons, I will send for Billal.

I tossed and turned all night in my cold and lonely bed. I cried and called out Nidal’s name, but no one answered. This was going to be a long night. Finally, at some point into the night, I drifted off to sleep, and it seemed like a million hours had passed when I opened my eyes and saw Nidal’s silhouette by the window. It was a moonless night. The room was dark, but I saw my lover looking out the window into the black night. I held my breath, not wanting to let on that I had awakened. I watched him for a while, and I heard him sigh a few times. Something was deeply troubling him, and I had a feeling it had nothing to do with me. It must be the meeting. Something terrible was going to happen. I trembled as that realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I was desperate for answers, and I knew Nidal would say nothing to me, which made me even more desperate to get answers from Billal.

Finally, Nidal came to bed. I braced myself as I waited hungrily for Nidal to take me into his arms. But my prince lay quietly next to me and did not make a move to come closer to me. This was the first time something like this had ever happened. I did not know how to handle this, so I reached out to him and wiggled closer to his body.

He responded immediately by squeezing me tight into his embrace. “I thought you were sleeping, and I did not want to wake you.” He sighed deeply. “I miss you.” His arms squeezed me even tighter. “I barely heard a word in the meeting. I kept thinking of you, Loula.”

My arms went around his waist. At this moment, I could not be angry anymore with him. I missed him too much. I found his warm lips and kissed him hungrily as my tears came without warning. I knew he was tired and needed to sleep, but I could not stop. I needed him at this moment, and my body was begging for him to touch me.
To be loved by this man is all I would ever need in this lifetime
.

As I trembled in his arms, I knew without a doubt that, for me, there was no life without him. He was the very air that I breathed. I was sure of this.

As Nidal took me to heights of passion, he kept asking me to tell him if I loved him. “Tell me now, Loula!” he demanded passionately, even though all night I told him over and over again how much I loved him.

He still insisted I say it one more time. He held himself back, withholding his pleasures from me and knowing full well that, by doing so, I was tortured to the point of no return.

“Tell me, Loula,” he begged. “Do you love me?” he asked again.

He stood still as if to punish me. I let out a scream of passion, and I told him wildly that I loved him so much. Only then did he share what he so selfishly withheld from me. He took me to his place of heaven, a place only I had gone, a place where no other woman had ever visited. There, I melted and exploded into a million pieces of liquid fire. Whoever said sex was a sin was a big fat liar!

I woke up in the morning with Nidal’s touch. His hands were roaming again. And I smiled, thinking that, if we keep this up, we would never get anything done.

“Nidal, how did you wake up? I thought you would sleep all day. You did not get any sleep last night.”

But Nidal was never one to admit how tired he might be. He only smiled and said without a care in the world, “I slept enough, I feel great, and I’m late for my lessons.” He kissed my nose, flipped the covers back, and jumped out of bed.

His tall, lean, and tanned body drove me crazy as I watched him get dressed. He turned his back on me and reached for his clothes. He knew I was watching, and he took pleasure in torturing me as he said, “You like?”

I ignored him, and he slowly turned around, revealing his manhood, which was aroused as always. I swallowed hard and looked into his eyes with raw lust. Then he dived in the bed and forgot about everything else. It was just simply beautiful.

As the day wore on, I was keeping busy at the orphanage. The children and I were having a splendid afternoon. And when I asked the children if they wanted to go out and play, they all screamed at the same time with excitement. They loved it outside. The queen had made a playground for them that had everything a child could possibly dream of. It was there, as I was watching the children and pushing Natalie on the swing, that I noticed Billal walking toward the playground. He had a big smile on his face, and he looked dashing in his uniform. His eyes were gleaming as he walked up to me and greeted me with a kiss on my cheek.

“If only you were my wife and these were all our children and you loved me and not my cousin,” he teased, smiling from ear to ear, “I would be the happiest man alive.” He took over pushing Natalie’s swing.

Natalie turned her head and looked up at the prince with an adorable smile. I could not help but think how handsome he was. If I saw Billal first before I fell in love with Nidal, I could have easily fallen in love with him.

“I received your message this morning, and I was thrilled to find out that you had asked for me. So to what do I owe this pleasure to?” he asked with a twinkle in his eyes.

I was not sure how to approach the subject without alarming him in any way. I did not even know if he were loyal to me.

“Billal,” I said softly. I did not want the children to hear what I was about to say. “Are you loyal to me? Can I trust you?” My voice held no conviction.

Billal stopped the swing in midair, and he took Natalie off the swing and placed her gently down. “Natalie, go play with your little friends, and in a little while, I will come and join you.” He smiled down at her as he ruffled her hair.

Natalie did not even hear a single word he said. As soon as her feet touched the ground, she was halfway across the playground running to the slides. The prince turned to me, and our eyes locked.

“Am I loyal, you ask?” He looked taken aback from what I just asked him. “Have I ever given you reason to think I was not loyal to you?” he asked, clearly distressed.

I looked at him quietly for a few seconds before responding. I needed to catch my breath. He looked so good, standing there looking at me with a straight face. He was right. Billal was always a gentleman where I was concerned. But still, you could never be too careful.

“Have you ever given me reason to believe that you are loyal?” I replied.

Billal sighed. He put his hands on my shoulders, and I could tell he was clearly upset as he said hoarsely, “Loula, you can trust me, for I would lay down my life for you.”

“Billal,” I whispered in a choked voice, “I know you to be a decent man, but before I tell you anything, I need you to swear your oath to me.”

Billal made an agonizing sound. There was a shuddering tension about him, as if he were a hairbreadth from exploding. Then his grip relaxed, and he dropped his arms down to his sides. I could see how my words hurt him.

His voice sounded bitter when he delivered his next words. “I would have made your life happier had you chosen me instead of him,” he said bitterly. “I am a better man than he is, Loula.” Billal closed his eyes for a second, and when he opened them, he looked as if he were in pain. “I am loyal to you, Loula. Never ask me that again. Never doubt me again. It hurts.” This time, his voice sounded cool, sharp as crystal. “Trust me. I am a man of my word.”

“Billal, you are so melodramatic!” I accused him angrily. “I only wanted to make sure. That’s all.”

He drew his head back. His eyes were somber and held supreme confidence. “One day, you will regret choosing him over me. I am the real man that you need to quench your thirst. Nidal can never satisfy you! Give me a chance, and I can prove it to you,” he pleaded.

I already regretted this meeting. I had made a mistake asking him to come here. Billal looked very upset, and this was not my intention. “Billal, please forgive me,” I added quickly. “I need you to be my friend, but I think I messed up. Can you forgive me?” I begged sincerely.

“I can forgive you. What other choice do I have? I am in love with you. Tell me what you need to say. I promise that I will never betray you. Never,” he said adamantly.

“I trust you. From now on, you will be my confidant. I don’t know why, but I feel safe with you. I need you to be my friend.” I looked into his eyes and knew instantly that I had whatever my heart desired from him. Pleased, I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head on his chest. In response, Billal embraced me with his strong arms, and it felt good to be in this place at this time.

Billal pulled back first and looked at me, waiting to hear what I needed to tell him. So I asked him straight out, “I know something is going on, something that is being kept a secret from the queen and me. It must be huge this secret that all of you are keeping from us. Nidal will not tell me. He does not want me to get scared. But you, my friend, who has sworn loyalty to me, you must tell me,” I demanded softly.

Billal let out a big sigh. He must have thought I would tell him something else. He looked disappointed as he looked away. “Loula, I pledge my loyalty to you now and forever, but I still, first and foremost, am loyal to the king, my uncle. The meetings we go to are confidential. I cannot speak of them. Please understand my position. I beg of you.” When he saw disappointment on my face, he moaned painfully, not knowing what to do. “Loula, you will know soon enough. No need to rush and find out something that will cause pain. Be patient, and Nidal will tell you when he thinks the time is right. It is not my place to tell you such things. Remember, you chose this, not I. Now you must wait until Nidal is ready to tell you.”

I felt defeated. With a shrug, I walked away from the prince, upset that he chose not to tell me and implying that I chose Nidal over him. It wasn’t even a choice. From the beginning, it was Nidal.
It will always be Nidal, for he is the love of my life, my one true love
.

Billal followed close behind, calling my name softly, not to alarm the children, who, from time to time, glanced our way and clearly looked uncomfortable with the talk that Billal and I were having.

“Wait, Loula. ’Tis not fair. You put me on the spot,” he said, aggravated now with the way things turned out.

But I just kept walking. This conversation wasn’t going anywhere.
What was I even thinking? Bringing Billal here! Servants are everywhere, watching us, and ready to report if need be. What would happen if Nidal found out? How would he react? What have I gotten myself into?

And then I stopped in my tracks. There in front of me, just a few feet away, stood Nidal. He was fuming. Trembling, I scrambled out of his view, knowing that he was following right behind me. I picked up my pace, but it was no use. Nidal caught up to me, grabbed my arm, and pulled me close to him. I felt him tremble as he tightened his grip on my arm. I could not look up in his face. I had nothing to say. I was at a loss for words.

Nidal just waited for me to say something, anything at all that would explain why Billal was here. When I offered no explanation, he looked at Billal, who had just walked up beside me, and barked, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

He took a step closer to Billal. His cousin tried to speak, but I quickly interrupted them.

“Calm down Nidal. The children are watching us, and they look upset,” I told him angrily.

Nidal’s tone dropped to a whisper. “What is this the two of you have here? A secret rendezvous in the middle of the afternoon?” he growled.

He grabbed a hold of me and shook me gently. I lost my balance, and I was about to fall, but Billal caught me just in time, which infuriated Nidal even more. “Get your paws off my woman!” He took a step forward.

Natalie ran up to me screaming as tears streamed down her face. The child had gotten scared with all this tension, and she started trembling.

“Stop!” I said loudly. “Have you no shame? How dare you come charging here and start throwing accusations at us!” I yelled, angry now. “How dare you raise your voice in front of innocent children! Go away. Let us be. This is no time for a jealous rage. You are not fifteen anymore, Nidal. You are a grown man. Start acting like one!” I said sharply as I gently grabbed Natalie and marched away from both men.

Billal spoke for the first time, and I could sense the hatred in his voice. “Are you proud of yourself? Just what is your problem anyway? What are you afraid of? That if I am alone with Loula, she would choose me over you? That she will realize that I’m the better man?”

I knew those words would have a huge impact on Nidal, and I turned just in time to witness Nidal swing a punch on Billal’s jaw.

Immediately, I ordered all the children to run as fast as they could back inside the house, and they hurriedly followed my instructions to safety. When all the children had settled in their seats, I ran to the window to see what was happening. I saw Billal angrily walk away as Nidal stood there frozen in his boots. I asked Nuray, the oldest child in the room, who was twelve years of age, to read a story to the children, telling her that I would be right back.