Sweet Obsession: Windy City Kink, Book 1 (26 page)

Where the hell had that come from, anyway? But he didn’t have to think too hard to know the answer. Her parents.

God, what a fucking mess. He’d thought about that a lot over the years and his feelings had changed as he matured and understood more about life and about himself. Initially he’d been bitter as hell. Gradually he’d come to recognize that their motivations had been out of love for their daughter. He got that. But holy hell, it wasn’t fair to her to make her feel ashamed of herself, of who she really was.

That thought just made him burn inside.

He didn’t call her Monday and she wasn’t at the condo when he got home. He wandered out onto the patio to check the progress that had been made, and sat on a step leading from one area to another, drinking scotch and watching the sun set, tinting the sky with peach and mauve. It was coming together and looking good, though he had a feeling once it was all in place he was going to be amazed. Much of the remaining work was finishing work like installing countertops and flooring. Soon the furniture would be delivered and Sasha would be planting things out there. And then she’d be done. And if things didn’t change, she’d be out of his life.

That couldn’t happen.

When he talked to Emma that week, she told him that Kevin had called and they were going out Thursday for drinks after work.

“That’s nice,” he said.

She went silent on the phone. “That’s nice?” she repeated. “That’s all you have to say?”

He huffed a small laugh. “Yeah. Why?”

“You’re usually way more in my face about who I’m dating.”

“He seems like an okay guy,” he said. “But you know. Be careful.”

“That’s better,” she said. “Although your approval of him is underwhelming.”

“Smart ass.”

“Maybe the four of us could go out sometime. You and Sasha, and Kevin and me.”

His lungs constricted. He coughed. “Yeah. Maybe.”

Emma didn’t pick up on his discomfort and the call ended.

He literally did not have time to call or go see Sasha for most of the week. Things were crazy, with clients in from out of town that he and Adam had to entertain, problems with one of their e-commerce payment platforms. It frustrated him and at times he felt like crawling out of his skin he was so desperate to see her, to try to fix things.

At another level though, he knew he had to hold back. And hope that she was missing him as much as he was missing her.

Finally it was Thursday. Their clients were leaving early Friday morning. Drinks and dinner after work ended at a reasonable time and when he got in his car outside the downtown restaurant, he sat there for a moment with his hands on the wheel.

Kevin was out with Emma. Oddly, he couldn’t bring himself to worry about that. He was way more focused on Sasha and what was going on with them and the fact that she was home alone. Well, if she was home.

He headed his car toward Sasha’s place.

Chapter Nineteen

After a fierce workout at the gym, Sasha stopped at Sweet Licks to pick up ice cream. Not just a bowl or a cone, but a whole quart of toasted coconut ice cream.

At home, she perched on a stool at the kitchen counter, still wearing her snug short shorts, tank top and hoodie. She lifted off the lid of the ice cream container and dug a spoon in. She popped the big scoop of ice cream into her mouth and let it melt, closing her eyes. Damn, that was good.

She’d been eating way too much ice cream, cake and candy this week, trying to comfort herself with sugar. The workout had been a healthier way of dealing with her unhappiness, but she hadn’t been able to resist the urge for something sweet on her way home.

The condo was silent. Kevin had gone out with Emma.

Which reminded her of Jack and made her mood dip again. She set down the ice cream with the spoon in it, and rested her head in her hands, elbows on the counter.

She hadn’t stopped thinking about him all week. It was crazy.

She’d relived every moment of that last night at his place, including the hot sex, but more so the things he’d said. The ropes.

Yes, the ropes. The thought of which made her insides squeeze hard with both nerves and excitement. She’d thought a lot about the ropes.

But she’d also thought about the other things he’d said, how she’d felt when he’d told her he’d never forgotten her, the way she’d been softening to him, willing to get to know him again.

Her head ached and her heart hurt. She’d been miserable all week, grouchy with her staff, impatient with the contractors, short with Kevin. She wasn’t sure how she felt about him going out with Emma. That was too much of a connection to Jack. But how could she say anything, when he seemed so stoked about going out with her? They’d really hit it off in that short time they’d met at the garden show.

She picked up the spoon and stabbed it into the ice cream, but strangely her appetite for sweets had disappeared. Her stomach in knots, she gave in to her unhappiness. She missed Jack. She wanted him, ferociously. It was lust, sure, but it was more than that. She missed laughing with him, talking to him. They’d always had fun together. As teenagers, hanging out doing homework together, or taking a walk in the park, they’d talked and laughed and had fun. And she had to admit to experiencing the same thing with older Jack. He made her laugh. He made her think.

She missed the way he looked at her that made her feel so wanted, with that raw hunger and scorching intensity. She missed his energy and strength. She missed him so much it was a physical ache.

How could that be? How had she gotten that twisted up with him in such a short time?

But it wasn’t a short time. It was twelve years, even though most of those years they’d been apart.

God, she was thinking like a lovesick teenager and she was so over that. She poked the ice cream again, resting her head on one hand.

The doorbell startled her.

She wasn’t nervous home alone at night, but it was unusual for someone to just show up at their door. She slid off the stool and walked to the front door, using the peephole cautiously.

Jack
.

Her heart gave a kick against her ribs and she leaned her forehead against the door.

Oh God. He was there. She’d just been thinking of him so longingly, but with so much confusion, and there he was.

She unlocked the dead bolt and opened the door.

Her knees quaked at the sight of him in a dark suit, with a gray shirt and silky patterned tie. His mouth was somber, his eyes dark. “Hi.”

She tried to swallow but her throat tightened. “Hi,” she answered in a husky voice.

“Can I come in?”

She stepped aside and let him in. As he brushed past her, the scent of his aftershave and body wash reached her and made her body tighten. Her hands longed to reach out and touch him.

She closed and locked the door again.

He looked around the dark rooms, only the kitchen light on. He turned to her.

“I was just…ah…having some ice cream.” She moved to the counter where the ice cream still sat with the spoon in it. Embarrassing! Caught eating right from the container. “I just got home from the gym.”

He studied her and she became aware that she hadn’t showered after her workout. Her hair was in a ponytail and she still wore her sweaty clothes and athletic shoes.

“The ice cream your dinner?”

One corner of her mouth kicked up. “Maybe.”

His mouth softened. “So you worked out and then came home to eat ice cream.”

She tossed her head and picked up the lid to set it back on the container. “Yeah. And the problem with that is…?”

“Nothing. Better than what I’ve been doing this week.”

“What have you been doing this week?” Yep, she was going to go there.

“Scotch. Lots of scotch.”

“Oh.” She blinked. “Well, that’s not healthy either.”

“Believe me, I know that.”

His eyes tracked down over her body, then her legs, from her shorts all the way down to the low cut athletic socks that barely showed above the top of her shoes. When he raised his eyes back up to her, they’d gone molten hot. Her pussy squeezed.

“Um…do you want some ice cream?”

“Just had dinner. I’m okay.”

She nodded and moved to put it in the freezer. A fluttery sensation took over her stomach.

“Can we talk, Sasha?”

She paused with her back to him. “Sure.”

She walked to the living room and flicked on the floor lamp in the corner. Then she sat at one end of the couch.

He took a seat near her, but not touching. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, fingertips together. Then he turned his head and met her eyes. “I can’t stay away from you,” he confessed, and her heart tripped and then softened.

“Oh Jack.” She wanted to confess how much she’d missed him too, but managed to keep the words inside.

“I know I freaked you out the other night.”

“I wasn’t freaked out.”

“It kinda seemed like that. I might as well have told you I’m a serial killer for how fast you wanted to get out of there.”

She shook her head, shaking inside, but a smile trembled on her lips.

“You have no reason to be afraid of me, Sasha. You should know that.”

She did know that. Yes, she was afraid. But not of Jack. “I’m not afraid of you,” she whispered.

“Yeah, you are. And that’s okay. That’s good.”

Her eyes widened.

“It means you’re smart,” he said. “It means you know what you’re getting into. But I really want you to trust me and trust that I would never hurt you.”

She still just looked at him in silence.

“You wanted it back then,” he said.

“What if I’ve changed?”

He nodded. “It’s true people change,” he continued. “Nozumo Sensei told me that. He was trying to keep me from getting my hopes up too much.”

“Hopes.”

“Yeah.” He met her eyes. “My hopes about you.”

He had hopes. About her. “What hopes?”

He held her gaze. “Hopes that you’d still be single. Hopes that there might still be something between us. Hopes that you’d be willing to see me again. I know people change, but I can tell…you haven’t changed that much. You’re a woman now, not a girl. But I can see things about you, Sasha. I can see what you want.”

She bit her lip. “This is hard for me, Jack. It’s hard to get past all the lectures my mom gave me. About how I didn’t have to take that kind of abuse.”

“Abuse. Jesus Christ. You know I’d never abuse you. Sex between two consenting adults is normal and healthy. It’s not abuse if it’s safe and consensual. It’s not abuse if it’s what you want and it feels good.”

“That’s what Kevin said too.”

“No shit.”

Her smile went crooked. “I’m just not sure if it’s what I want.”

He tipped his head, eyes focused on her. Her insides twisted. Because she was totally lying to him. She sighed.

“Okay. Maybe I’ve thought about it. But it’s hard for me to get past all the negative stuff.”

“If you’re worried about safety, I’ll admit I had no clue what I was doing when we were younger. Those knots…they should have come undone, and I should have had shears handy if they didn’t. That was stupid and dangerous, I fully admit it. But my intentions were good and I’ve learned a lot since then. So if it’s safe and we both agree to it, if we both want it, and it feels good…” Her insides fluttered again. “There’s nothing unhealthy about that.”

“God, Jack. This is crazy.” She lifted a hand and rubbed between her eyes.

“No. It’s not. Let me show you.”

“You’re going to make me do things I don’t want to.”

“No. God, no.” He shifted closer on the couch. “I don’t believe that. I’ve made you do things. But I’ve never made you do things you didn’t want to do. Seduction isn’t making you do something you don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing you to do things you secretly
do
want to do.”

She went very still as his words permeated her consciousness. And there was a truth. There were things she secretly wanted to do. A sigh slipped through her lips.

He bent his head and found her mouth, and their lips clung. She loved it. She wanted it. He brought her up closer against his body and she kissed him back. Heat rushed through her veins.

“Still believe we’re perfect for each other,” he murmured against her lips. “Kept that belief all those years and then when we met again, I knew it was true. If I truly believed you didn’t want to do something, I would never make you do it.”

Images flickered through her mind, the dreams she’d been having since Jack had come back into her life. Dark dreams, dreams of Jack holding her down, restraining her…spanking her. The ache that she felt on awakening from those dreams flared to life low in her body, that empty, needy ache.

He’d made her have sex in front of his windows.

No. He’d seduced her.

It
had
been incredibly hot. And when he’d knelt above her and fed his thick cock to her mouth…her entire body flashed with heat just thinking about how much she’d loved that.