Sweet Recovery (Ex Ops Series Book 4) (7 page)

He was silent for a few minutes before he spoke. “Is it that horrible for you to be in the same room with me again?” His voice was closer now. Somehow, that sneaky shithead had eased onto the bed without me feeling it dip or move at all. What was he, a freaking ninja now?

In my mind, I shook an angry fist at the powers that be. Hadn’t I suffered enough since the last time I had seen Lucas? Now that bitch called Karma, or fate, or whoever the fuck liked messing with my life had to give the man who had broken me irreparably super ninja powers? Where was the balance? He should have seven years of bad luck or something. Boils all over his body, bald, and bad breath would have been a great revenge.

Lucas ran his hand over my hip in a slow caress that left goose bumps in its wake. The simple touch grudgingly sparked something fragile inside of me that I had thought had died years ago: hope.

Damn him for that!

He didn’t have a right to make me feel like this anymore. The stupid girl who had naïvely loved him without censor had been crushed in ways I had thought would make me numb for the rest of my life. And yet, here I was, one touch from him and practically putty in his hands. It didn’t seem fair that someone could have that much power over you.

Using his hold on my hip, he rolled me over to face him; however, I refused to actually look at his face. It was my act of rebellion. He could keep me here in this room, but he couldn’t make me cooperate any further.

I knew his eyes were still on my face even though my own refused to look any farther up than his dripping wet bare chest. Still, I could feel his gaze run over my features, taking me in, analyzing me for some hint of what I was feeling. I was doing my best to keep my face blank, unable to handle him knowing that stupid girl was, against all odds, surprisingly still deep inside me.

He was a predator watching his prey, patiently waiting for his moment to strike. Only, I knew he wasn’t waiting to kill me physically. No, even after being apart all of these years, I knew Lucas Young wouldn’t harm a hair on my head. My heart was a different story altogether. That fragile organ beating in my chest, keeping me physically alive, seemed to be emotionally vulnerable to one person and one person alone: the boy who used to live across the street.

If someone had asked me last night if it were possible for the boy I loved once upon a time to break my heart again, I would have laughed in their face. Then I probably would have told them that you couldn’t kill what was already dead.

There was no way I could have known that just the sight of him could make that heart roar back to life.

He was my own personal defibrillator, shocking me back to life and making me feel again. That scared the shit out of me. It meant he could hurt me again. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I couldn’t survive his brand of pain a second time. I would rather have my father put a bullet in my head than endure Lucas breaking my heart again.

“You going to avoid looking at me all day, angel? Doesn’t seem fair since I can’t take my eyes off of you.”

I gave in to the impulse to let my head slump forward until it rested on his chest, and then I closed my eyes as a wave of emotion rolled through me. It was all too much.

There were too many different feelings battering at all of those walls I had put up years ago. I felt like I was under attack from the inside out.

I hungered for his affection, was frustrated over my neediness.

And worst of all, I was desperate for his love.

It was painful to feel so much at once when I had been inherently numb for so long. That was when it hit me.

Loving Lucas was such a bittersweet agony, a pain so enthralling I was starting think there was absolutely no recovery possible.

It was beautiful in a way that was all-consuming. It was deeper than bone and flesh, so much more than head to toe, utterly engrained into my DNA to love this man. I struggled over knowing he was once all I wanted in the world versus knowing he could destroy me again so easily.

If I gave him an inch, he would take a mile. Lucas was a conqueror like that. Never satisfied with a piece of whatever was being offered, he had to have it all. Right now, he wanted all of me. What would happen when he realized all I had to give now was beyond bruised, battered, and broken? I was so much worse than that.

In truth, I was a shell of a person who had spent half my time with a bottle of vodka, unable to take my mother’s advice and make lemonade out of the overabundance of lemons in my life. I was no longer the girl Lucas used to know at all.

His rumbly voice tickled my senses. “You can’t possibly hate me as much as you’re pretending to.”

Snapping my head up to glare at him, I jangled my handcuff-covered wrist and asked, “How can you say that?”

He moved his hand slowly from my hip and over my waist until he reached my sternum. Then he lifted his hand until only two fingers were trailing over my clothes, through the valley of my breasts and over one of my collarbones. Once he reached the skin of my neck, the sensation his fingertips were leaving seemed to magnify a thousand times, and my body warmed from head to toe.

As much as I wanted him to let me go, I also wanted his hands everywhere, caressing me until he was all I felt. He didn’t linger long on my neck, though. He continued his slow path over the side of my face, moving his gaze from the path of his digits to my eyes.

I guessed I had forgotten how much I loved looking into those eyes, because the minute they connected with mine, so close to my face, lost in this moment of just the two of us, everything melted away: time, my problems, perhaps even my pain. Everything inside of me never wanted to lose the sight of those hazel eyes ever again.

Suddenly, I felt his fingers sliding along the skin of my wrist attached to the handcuff, and then Lucas whispered, “Look up and watch.”

Confused, I thought,
watch what?
But I did as he ordered and raised my gaze to the handcuffs. That was when one simple movement changed absolutely everything.

With one of his strong, callused fingers, he pushed a single button that was in plain sight … and the handcuffs unlocked, pulling apart from both my wrist and the bed to clatter to the floor behind the headboard.

No key was needed. Just one simple motion to gain my freedom.

“How could I have never noticed that?”

“Because you never really wanted to get away from me, angel.”

My eyes filled with tears and the weight of the world lifted off my chest as the truth crashed through me. He was absolutely right. I didn’t want to get away from Lucas. I didn’t want to live without Lucas.

So the question now was, what was I going to do?

I couldn’t take Lucas with me to Chicago. My father would kill him in a heartbeat.

A hand settled on my cheek, and Lucas hovered over me until I was focused on him again.

“I don’t know where you just went in your head, baby, but forget about it. Stay right here … with me in this moment. It’s exactly where you belong.”

How long had I ached to hear words like that from the boy who lived across the street? It had felt like an eternity. Regardless, how long would I get to stay in this moment with him until reality came crashing back down around me?

Not wanting to lose a precious second of whatever time I had left with him, I made my decision. Reaching up with both hands, I brought his face down to my own and kissed him. It wasn’t slow or sweet. It was raw need. I had a short, undefined amount of time to show the man I loved how much he had always meant to me, and I was going to make the most of it.

Lucas

As I delved my tongue between her lips, I savored the taste of my own personal heaven. She was sweeter than I ever imagined. Before, I had nothing other than vague, hazy memories of our night in the cabin, snippets of something I wanted more of.

This time, I would savor her, memorize every dip and curve of her body. I would brand myself on her so that, after tonight, there would be absolutely no doubt that she belonged to me. If I did it right, she would also know without a doubt that I belonged to her, too.

That meant I had to slow this down. I had to make sure she was with me every step of the way.

As I pulled back, she tightened her hands on the back of my head, trying to keep the connection, but I used my strength to finally pull away far enough so her eyes could focus on mine, our lips still skimming each other as I said, “I love you, Gin. Always have, always will, angel.”

Her breath hitched on a small sob, and tears filled her eyes. When one leaked out, I used my thumb to wipe it away.

“Don’t cry, baby. I’ve been waitin’ for this day for what feels like forever, so I don’t want us rushing into something you’re going to regret later.”

She shook her head violently then whispered, “The only thing I regret is that we didn’t have this moment sooner.”

The candor of her words hit me straight in the chest. I knew, in that moment, without a doubt, I loved this woman more than I loved anything or anyone in the whole world. I would do anything for her, to be with her. Now I just needed to make sure she realized she needed me that much, too.

Slowly, softly, I kissed her lips, sipping her sweetness little by little. Time slipped away, and it could have been a thousand little kisses later—who knew?—but then it wasn’t enough. I needed her. All of her.

Deepening my kiss, I ran my tongue against hers, giving her long, drugging kisses that I hoped intoxicated her as much as they did me. We were breathing each other’s air, and I was loving every second of it.

She ran her hands slowly down my chest to the hem of my towel, pulling it off my body haltingly, as if she were afraid I would stop her. No way in hell was I going to stop this.

Lifting my hips, I let her pull the towel completely away, and she dropped it on the floor. Then I lowered myself back over her and situated myself in the cradle of her hips, letting her feel just how much I wanted her—craved her, really.

I went to kiss her again, but she stopped me with her hands on my chest, holding me off. Confused, I could feel my heart thundering in my chest, fearing she was going to stop what was happening between us. Therefore, I watched, breath held, as she lowered her hands to her thighs and slowly inched her dress up, causing the silky fabric of her dress to rub against my hard length.

I hissed at the sensation, and my hips bucked out of instinct. I needed to be inside her as much as I needed my next breath. Her unhurried teasing was pure torture, but damn did it hurt so good.

Tantalizing hints of the skin of her upper thighs were revealed until she paused, the edge of the dress just covering the juncture of her thighs, which I knew was bare since I had ripped off her underwear the night before.

Biting my lip, head down, and eyes fully on the promise of what was to come, I waited for her to move. I wasn’t going to rush or pressure her to continue. She had to decide if this was what she wanted: to be with me, to bare herself to me. Even if it killed me, I would wait forever for that, because once she gave herself to me, I was never giving her back.

She was mine to keep forever.

Ginny took a deep breath, her small body rising underneath me from the move, rubbing our bodies together. She moaned at the contact, and nothing had ever sounded that good to me. It was music to my fucking ears.

Then it got better. Looking back up at her face, I caught the sight of her biting her bottom lip, her eyes glassy with desire, and her hair spread about her on the pillow like a halo. It was the most beautiful thing I had seen in my entire life. I couldn’t have pulled my face off the sight even if a bomb had gone off outside our door. I was captivated by the way she looked at me, like I was everything in the entire world to her.

That was how I missed the unveiling of her pussy as she finished pulling off her dress. What I didn’t miss was the way that soft fabric gave way.

Suddenly, my cock was against soft curls and warm, wet heat. I hissed at the contact and had to stop myself from pulling back and pushing into her right away. No rushing.

Bracing my hands on either side of her waist, I captured her lips again and put every emotion I couldn’t voice into that kiss, tasting her until we were both breathless and gasping for air. Then I let her pull back to breath while I took the advantage of the tip her head to kiss unhurriedly down her neck, stopping to lick her collarbones before trailing my tongue down to her left breast.

I circled the nipple with the tip of my tongue several times before I finally sucked the entire flushed, little berry into my mouth, tasting her there. Then I cupped her right breast, massaging the soft tissue, molding it, knowing it was made to fit my grasp and loving the hell out of the feel of her.

Her hips bucked up underneath me, rubbing my cock against her pussy, and that was my cue to get things moving again.

Moving my mouth over to her right breast, I lapped at that nipple until she was moaning and squirming before I moved on.

Kissing down her sternum, I stopped to lick a circle around her belly button then returned to soft, little kisses as I moved down until I was lying between her legs, staring at the blonde curls covering her soft lips. Had I ever wanted a woman the way I wanted Ginny? Hell no.

Without wasting another second, I licked up the inside of her thigh, and she arched her back at the sensation. Holding her hips down, I finally delved in and gave a first, tentative lick to her clit. She gasped, so I tongued her again, running my tongue in circles around her nub to warm her up for me.

Wanting more of her, I ran my tongue down and slipped it inside of her, holding her lips open with my thumbs as I tasted her inner flesh.

Her muscles were already quivering, as if she were on the verge of orgasm, but on the verge wasn’t good enough. I wanted to push her over into the abyss of pleasure.

Pulling my tongue out of her, I went back to licking her clit while I used two fingers to gently stretch the tight walls of her pussy. I had to make her ready. I wasn’t a small man, and she was hugging my fingers like a vice.