Sweet Reunion (32 page)

He was so used to telling
himself that, in fact, that he had almost indoctrinated himself into completely
believing it. Almost.

Deep down, he had always
known it was wrong and cowardly. Very deep down, in a little quiet corner of
his soul that he never let himself acknowledge, let alone visit.

And that had been possible
in Alaska, if not easy. He was surrounded by rough and tumble men. Men whose
priority was to work hard and sometimes play hard. But not...not under any
circumstances....to talk through their Goddamn feelings. And Justin had liked
that just fine.

Or so he had thought. So why
was he still here? That was the real question. And, looking down at the tiny,
hopeful form of his brother walking beside him, he saw the real answer.

Family. Connection. Love.
That’s why he was here. That was the real meaning of life, he was learning.

No. Not learning. Being
taught. Being taught by Amanda, and being taught by Noah. The people in his
life who loved him enough to be patient with him while he figured out how to
love them back the way that they deserved to be loved. And that was a lot of
patience! He was a lucky man. Now he needed to figure out how to be worthy of
that incredible good fortune.

He owed it to Noah to be the
best big brother in the world. Noah was an incredible kid - arguably, the best
little brother in the world - and he deserved that.

Of course, feeling grand,
sweeping sentiments like that had always been easy. What needed to be done here
was more difficult, to flourish where the rubber meets the road, in the little
moments like this. In figuring out how to start this conversation.

I can do it, Justin told
himself, if I can just figure out the right way to start! The perfect first
words. A joke, maybe, to break the ice. Or, maybe a commentary on the weather.
That was always good neutral territory! Do eight year olds respond to weather
openers?

“So, yeah, this is some nice
weather we’re having, huh? Warm for this time of year,” Justin attempted.

Noah stared up at him in
bewilderment.

OK, Justin thought, so
that’s a “No” on the weather talk, then. Time to start thinking of a joke?

But his dilemma was cut
short when Noah grabbed his hand desperately and stopped walking.

“I’m sorry,” Noah sniffled,
and when Justin looked down at him, he was shocked to see tears streaming down
Noah’s face.

“You're sorry?” Justin
managed to ask through his shock.

“You got mad at Dad because
I made you mad,” Noah continued through his tears, “I’m sorry I made you mad.”

“Oh my God, kid, that’s not
true. Come here, let’s talk.” Justin gestured toward a fallen log, and they
both settled on it.

“Here’s the thing,” Justin
earnestly told his little brother, “Sometimes grownups get mad at each other.
Kids do, too, right? You fight with your friends sometimes?”

Noah nodded thoughtfully and
continued to listen.

“Well, it’s the same with
adults. I was fighting with your dad...I mean, our dad...” Justin took a deep
breath, “I was fighting with Dad because of things that happened a long time
ago, before you were even born. It wasn’t because of you. You didn’t make me
mad. You could never make me mad.”

Noah looked at the ground.
“I heard you yelling at him about me, though.”

Justin sighed. Man, this whole
talking about feelings and being honest thing was difficult! But he owed it to
Noah to push through.

“That’s true. Part of what I
was mad at Dad about did have to do with you, but not because you made me mad.
It was because I felt like Dad wasn’t being fair to you, by talking about me
all the time. I felt like he was hurting your feelings, or making you feel like
you weren’t as important to him as I was. And that’s not right, so it made me
mad, and I yelled at him. But that wasn’t the right thing to do. I should have
talked about it calmly. And I certainly never meant for you to hear it.

“You’re such a great kid,
Noah. And I love you. You’re my brother! So, if I feel like anyone is hurting
you, even if it’s Dad, that makes me really, really mad.”

Noah’s face registered
amazement. “But, you’re, like...the best! You’re like....a superhero. You’re
the best at everything! That’s why Dad talks about you. I’m just a regular kid.
I’m not good at stuff, not like you!”

Justin shook his head, “See,
that’s not true. You are a special person. You’re every bit as good as I am,
and in many ways, you’re a lot better!”

Noah looked incredulous.

Justin nodded, “It’s true!
In fact, just today, you taught me how to do something that I’ve been
struggling to be good at my entire life.”

Noah’s expression turned
from incredulous to flat-out disbelieving.

"I'm serious!"
Justin insisted. "I was walking along here with you, trying to figure out
how to start talking with you, how to explain what I was feeling, and most of
all - how to tell you I was sorry for the other night. But I couldn’t get the
words out. I couldn’t figure out the right way to start. Then you showed me how
to do it. You just taught me that just telling someone how I feel is the best
way to be.”

Noah’s face brightened. “My
teacher Mrs. Rossmore says if you feel sorry about something you should just
tell the person because they probably feel sorry too but they’re too
embarrassed to say it. She said you should do it to be bigger than them, but I
think you should do that with littler kids, too.”

Justin smiled. “Is what she
said that you should be the bigger person?”

Noah nodded, “Yes! That’s
what she said!”

Justin smiled wider, “That
doesn’t mean being older or actually bigger than them. It means that inside,
you’re the more mature one. The more grown up one. And, kid, when it comes to
you and me, I may be the big brother, but you are definitely the bigger
person.”

A smile spread slowly across
Noah’s face as a new realization dawned. “You mean...you did it wrong? And I did
it right?”

Justin wrapped his arm
around Noah’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze, then playfully ruffled his hair.
“Absolutely. And the longer that I’m here, and the more time you and I spend
together, I think you’ll be surprised by how much that happens.”

Noah looked afraid to ask,
but plunged ahead. “Does that mean...are you staying? Like, to live here? For
good and forever?”

Justin laughed. “For good
and forever. And since I am, I have something very special in mind that only
you can help me out with. Do you think you could?”

Noah’s head bobbed up and
down as he excitedly jumped to his feet, and – of course – pumped his fist into
the air. “I’m your man!” he shouted.

--- ~ ---

The evening was winding down, and Amanda savored the
quiet, contented, satisfied feeling that came with that part of the night.
Dinner had been eaten. Presents had been opened. The cake had been cut. Sleazy
ex-boyfriend had been hauled away in handcuffs. She smiled. Ah, yes. Everything
a girl could want on her 27
^th
birthday.

She saw Justin and Noah over on the other side of the
room, cutting glances toward her and whispering conspiratorially. She wandered
over with a smile.

“What are you two boys planning without me?” she
beamed at them.

“Well...” Justin began, and then looked around. He
raised his voice a little. “If I could have everyone's attention?” he called,
surprising Amanda, who looked around, confused.

When the rest of the room was quiet and looking in
their direction, Justin said, “Thanks, everybody, for giving us a moment. I think
Noah has something he'd like to say to Amanda.”

She looked down at Noah, pleasantly expectant but
still slightly puzzled. “Yes, buddy?” she asked.

Noah took a deep breath, screwed up his courage, and
then said in a strong voice, “Will you be my sister-in-law?”

Amanda felt shock go through her as she comprehended
the words, and turned to look at Justin. When she pivoted to face him, she
found him down on one knee, holding out a ring to her. Tears flooded her eyes
and her hands flew to mouth to cover her gasp.

“Amanda,” Justin stated earnestly, “I've loved you
pretty much the entire time I've known you. You're the most spectacular woman
I've ever met. I could talk about how beautiful you are, but that's something
anyone can see just by looking.

“What I want to tell you is how I miss you when we're
apart for even two minutes. When you walk into the other room I start counting
the seconds until you come back. I want to tell you how every time you open
your mouth, I get a thrill of anticipation, wondering what you're going to say
next. I want to tell you about how, anything that happens to me – good, bad, or
indifferent – the first thing I think about is what words I'm going to use when
I tell you about it.

“The biggest things in life are meaningless without you,
Amanda. But the smallest things in life have infinite meaning with you. I love
you, baby. I want to be with you every minute of every day, for the rest of
both of our lives.

“Exactly ten years ago today, you were brave enough to
make yourself vulnerable to me by declaring your love. Right now, I want to do
the same thing for you.

“Amanda Jacobs. Will you do me the incredible honor of
being my wife?”

Justin knelt with bated breath, waiting for her
answer. Her hand shook as she held it toward him to accept the ring, and relief
and joy flooded through him. As he slipped the ring onto her perfect finger,
she shouted, “Yes! Yes! Oh my God, Yes!”

He laughed with pure pleasure as he rose and took her
in his arms. They kissed as the rest of the room clapped and cheered, and then
he drew his head back, pulled her to him, and held onto her as tightly as he
could ever remember holding onto anyone or anything.

Justin laughed again, and felt a warm, peaceful glow
growing inside him as he held Amanda, and saw the joyful glint in his little
brother’s eyes. Oh, he thought to himself, now I understand. This is why people
stick around. This is why people work it through. This is what makes it worth
it. This is what’s on the other side.

It was better than he could have ever imagined.

Check out Chapter One of “Sweet
Harmonies”

Coming December 2012!

Karina Blackstone freed her long dark hair from where
it had been trapped in a ponytail atop her head and ran her hands through it in
frustration. It cascaded down over her olive-skinned shoulders in glossy black
waves, and brought out the drama in her deep onyx-colored eyes.

She turned to gaze out the large picture window of Sue
Ann's Cafe in her small hometown of Hope Falls, and took a deep breath. She
tried to let the lovely scene she witnessed on the other side of the glass in
the small storefront cafe calm her nerves.

Directly outside the window was Downtown Main Street,
a quaint section of town characterized by a wooden sidewalk and small, family
run shops and restaurants. Beyond that immediate view rose the mountains
surrounding Hope Falls, a small town located about 30 miles away from Lake
Tahoe in the Sierra Nevada mountains. Pine trees of deep forest green filled
Karina's vision, dotted with fiery yellow and red aspens, adding spice to the
woodsy landscape.

It was Karina's favorite view in the entire world, and
she ought to know – she had traveled through most spots on the globe. Her
career as a highly successful pop star had taken her to every corner of the
earth, and given her the means to make any one of them her home. However, when
it came down to it, she had realized that this humble spot, this small burg of
only 5,000 souls, was the place that had nurtured her as a growing child, and
was the place that nurtured her soul still.

So Karina Blackstone was moving home.

This seemed like a fairly straightforward proposition
to her. She wanted to return to the roots of who she was as an artist, dig down
deep and bring forth music that truly expressed her soul.

To do that, she needed to return to the place where
she could get in touch with herself, with the person she had been before all
the madness of fame had started. She needed to come back to the Sierra Nevadas
and reconnect with the simple life that inspired her, to clear away all the
bright lights of the city and revel in soft glow of the stars in the mountains.
She needed to spend time with people who knew her as Karina Blackstone,  her
rightful name, not Karina Black, the milquetoast whitewashed stage name she had
been assigned for her career as a radio-friendly pop princess, conveniently
airbrushing out her identity as a Native American. She needed to be with people
that knew and loved her as their smart-ass and ultra-loyal friend, not
worshiped her from afar as a superstar without actually knowing her. She needed
to come home to Hope Falls.

Simple enough to understand, she thought.

The person who absolutely, unequivocally
didn't
understand, however? That was her manager, Bernie Kaplan, who was sitting
across from her at the table in Sue Ann's. The 70-year-old Bernie was short and
excruciatingly thin, with tufts of white hair sprouting wildly in a ring around
his bald crown. His round and buggy eyes were magnified behind the oversize
lenses of his thick-framed glasses, and he had the odd affectation of having a
cigar forever in his mouth, albeit unlit. Bernie had been her manager for 8
years, and she didn't think she'd ever seen him smoke the damn thing.