Sweet Serendipity (31 page)

Ethan led Adam into a back room studio. He handed him a smock and set him up with a tray of acrylic paint. He placed a blank canvas on an easel and stood back. Adam looked at him questioningly. “What do I do now?”

Ethan smiled. “You do whatever you want. Just pick your brush and pick the color and put it on there.” He pointed to the canvas.

Adam giggled. “I don’t want to ruin it. It’s white and clean.”

“It’s meant for the paint. Get as messy as you want. Watch this.”

Ethan set up a second canvas. He dunked the brush into paint and turned and splashed it on the canvas. Adam howled. “Oh man you are gonna make a mess.”

Ethan laughed back. “That’s the joy of this room. Look at the floor. It’s a canvas of its own. In here it’s about making art. I don’t worry about the phone, the people, or the world outside. When I am in here painting, it is about feeling. It’s about me and the canvas. It helps me think sometimes. Sometimes when I need to think or escape for a while I come here and just paint. It helps, now you try.”

Adam picked a brush and dunked it into the paint. He closed his eyes and held the brush to the canvas. When he opened his eyes they opened wide. “That’s cool!” he said.

“That it is little man that it is.”

Adam tried different brushes and added color to them. He made different brush strokes and each stoke was a different texture and different design. He lost himself in his painting. He was smiling and laughing when his mother stood in the doorway admiring the scene she was watching of Ethan on one easel, and a smiling Adam on the other. She coughed to get their attention. Ethan turned and smiled when he saw her standing there. He walked over and gave her a kiss on her cheek. Adam turned and smiled at her. “This is great mom. Look what I made.” She walked over to the canvas and wanted to cry. To her it was just a mish-mosh of color, but to Adam it was a masterpiece. “Can I hang this when we find a new place?”

That got Ethan’s attention. “New place?” he asked her.

“I just listed the house. We decided that we need to move on. The house is too difficult for us to be around so we want to find something new. Right Adam?” she asked him.

“Can we have a painting room at the new house?”

Ethan perked up, “Yeah Becca will there be a painting room in the new house?”

She didn’t know how to respond. He walked over and held her hand in his. “Where are you staying then?”

“We are over at Tasha’s.”

“Stay here” he said to her.

She looked over at Adam and back at Ethan. I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. He’s going through a lot and I don’t want to confuse the situation any more. I just want to get him settled.” She looked at her watch. “We need to go buddy. We can’t be late.”

“Ah Ma, I want to keep painting.”

Ethan smiled at her, “Yeah Ma, he wants to keep painting.”

“Come over to Tasha’s for dinner tonight. We’ll be done at five with his appointment, so say like six?” She asked him.

“Hmmm, let me think. I may be busy…”

She shot him a look and he kissed her gently on her lips.

“I’ll be there. Now you guys get going. I’ll see you both later. Adam, your painting will be dry by then, so I’ll bring it with me.”

Adam gave him thumbs up and walked out the door. Rebecca turned back to Ethan and smiled.

“Thanks for this, Ethan.”

“You don’t have to thank me. He’s the one who came in. I just gave him a release.”

When Adam was standing over at the outside door, Rebecca walked over to Ethan, grabbed him by the front of his smock, and kissed him. He placed an arm around her waist and smiled as he kissed her back.

“Hey, Mom, I thought we had to go?” Adam called out.

Rebecca giggled as she put her head on Ethan’s shoulder.

“I’d better go. I’ll see you later.”

“I love you, Becca”

She looked back at him and smiled. “I love you too, Ethan.”

She walked up to her son and put her arm around his shoulder. She walked down the sidewalk to her car and for the first time in a while, she felt hopeful for the future.

Adam was in his first therapy session. Jack and Rebecca sat patiently in the waiting room thumbing through the slim selection of magazines. They were outdated and old news. Jack smirked as he tossed a sports illustrated on the table. “It’s from last spring. I suppose we should bring something with us next time.”

She didn’t respond back, she just stared at the clock. They only had twenty minutes left and they could leave.

“Becky?” Jack called out.

“Hmm” she looked over at him. “Sorry I guess I was just worrying about how it’s going in there.”

“I am too.” He changed his position on his seat. “I was saying that Riley told me you are staying at Tasha’s house. Why?” he asked her.

“Oh, Adam wouldn’t get out of the car. Which actually Jack I suppose I should tell you that I put the house on the market this afternoon.”

“What?”

“It holds the past, and I need to move forward. So does Adam. He’s holding onto guilt of something and I can’t bear seeing him like. Riley’s going to be in college next year, and I don’t need such a big house anymore. I have a storage unit coming tomorrow so if you want to get the rest of your stuff feel free. I know you still have stuff in the basement. We can sort through furniture if you want.”

“Becky, that was our dream home.”

“Yes, Jack, it was, but our dream died with Brian. I lost one child there and almost another. It doesn’t hold any dreams anymore, just heartache.”

He reached over and gripped her hand.

“I’m sorry I did this to us.”

“You didn’t, Jack, we did. I don’t blame anyone anymore. For Adam’s sake, I would like us to remain friends. You were a big part of my life and I’d hate to lose you all together.”

“You never will, Becky. I guess now I can understand why Tasha and Richard have the arrangement they have. It never made sense to me until right now. I suppose that you and Ethan will be looking for somewhere together?”

Rebecca held her breath. “We haven’t discussed it.” She remembered his remark when Adam asked about a painting room. Was that Ethan’s way of hinting around about their future?

The door opened and Adam came walking out. He sat down beside his mother and put his head on her shoulder. She loved that he came to her. It had been so long since he snuggled in with her. The doctor walked up to them and held out his hand. “Hello folks. My name is Dr. Owen. I am going to be working with your son. May I have a word with the both of you in my office please?”

Rebecca looked at him with a startled expression. He put his hand in the air, “Oh, nothing bad I assure you. This is just part of the routine. I like to spend a few minutes with a parent at the end of the sessions to discuss progress.”

“Oh OK,” Rebecca said. She kissed Adam on the top of his head and stood up. Adam pulled out his cell phone and started playing a game on it. Rebecca and Jack followed Dr. Owen into his office where he closed the door behind him. He pointed to the couch opposite his chair “please have a seat.”

They took a seat and waited patiently to hear what the doctor had to say. “Well! Let me start by telling you that you have a very intelligent boy on your hands. I received his test results from the hospital and he has a rather high I.Q. for someone his age. He apparently painted today, yes?” He asked.

Jack shrugged his shoulders and looked at Rebecca who blushed. “He was at my friends’ gallery in town. He introduced him to painting and he seemed to be enjoying himself.”

“It’s a great therapy. If he finds joy in it I highly recommend him taking some classes or just getting him some supplies to take his mind off of things.” He flipped through some paperwork. “We had a good first session. He wasn’t resisting at all. He seems to want to feel better. I actually got him open up quite a bit. I can tell you that he carries around a lot of guilt over his younger siblings’ death. He feels responsible. He also said that because of it he feels your marriage fell apart, so he feels it is his fault again.”

“Oh god” Rebecca exclaimed.

“It’s all part of the grieving process. Often younger children don’t understand fully about death. He told me that he argued with his brother. He told him he didn’t want to play hide and seek because Brian didn’t know how to hide good and it wasn’t fun.”

Rebecca gasped.

“So, he feels that the only reason Brian attempted to crawl in the window was because Adam had hid in one before. Brian was copying his older brother. He said he began cutting himself after Brian died. It made him feel that it was easier to deal with things.”

“That’s a lot for a kid to take on by himself. I can’t believe we didn’t see any of this.” Jack responded.

“Well he said that the two of you stopped talking to one another, so he stopped talking about it too.”

Rebecca started to cry. “So we caused this?”

“No” the doctor answered. “There is no specific way to grieve. Everyone does it in their own way. The two of you dealt with it by shutting off your feelings and Adam found another way to deal with it. I think that painting is a good start. If he has another outlet for his emotions it will open him up more. I recommend that you don’t make the topic of Brian off limits. Perhaps if you include him in conversations then Adam will know he can openly talk about him if he has to.”

He handed Rebecca and Jack a book on grieving.

“I think the two of you have your own processes to go through.” He looked up at the clock and stood up. “I have another appointment to see but I will see you in two days.”

He shook hands with Rebecca and Jack and walked with them to the waiting room where Adam watched them cautiously. He stood up and Rebecca hugged him to her chest. “I hope you know that no matter how you think it makes me feel, you can tell me anything. I will always listen.”

“OK, Mom” Adam responded.

The three of them walked out into the parking lot. Jack hugged his son and a pang of regret ran through him realizing that he couldn’t go home with them. He wanted to tuck Adam in and watch over him. He took a deep breath and smiled, “I’ll call you before bed bud alright?”

“Sure, Dad. I love you.”

“I love you too, pal.” Jack ran his fingers through Adam’s hair and headed off to his truck. He watched as Rebecca and Adam walked to her car and got in. He thought about how he would have given anything at that moment to take all their suffering away. He wished he had been half the man, and half the father that they deserved. He waved as they passed by. He wiped a tear away, and put his truck into gear.

Tasha was waiting for them when they walked through the door. Ethan was already there helping her in the kitchen. The girls were playing Dance Party on the WII and laughing. Adam saw Ethan and ran to him asking him all sorts of questions about painting.

“Can I come back and paint again? Can I come after school tomorrow? I can ride my bike there.”

Ethan told him to hold on that he had a present for him. He walked up to Rebecca and gave her a friendly kiss on her cheek, and then hurried out to the driveway.

Rebecca walked up to the counter and put her bag down. Tasha handed her a glass of wine and went back to preparing a salad. “He’s an amazing man that one.” Tasha said. Rebecca nodded. “I never said he wasn’t.”

Ethan came back and had a case with paints and brushes inside. He handed it to Adam, whose face lit up at the gift. “That’s for me?” he asked him.

“Absolutely,” Ethan said. “Every artist needs their own kits. Now you can paint wherever or whenever. You can bring it to the studio with you or paint when you have your new home.” Rebecca noticed how he glanced in her direction as he said it.

They sat and had a dinner. Everyone was happy and relaxed. Adam stayed glued to Ethan’s side and looked at him as if he was a super hero. Rebecca’s heart melted when she saw how well adjusted and happy everyone was. Ethan seemed to fit in just fine. The kids took to him with no problems. Adam asked if he could go on Ethan’s motorcycle with him. Ethan was too happy to accept.

After dinner Ethan started up his motorcycle and took Adam around the neighborhood. Rebecca stood out in the driveway and watched as her two favorite guys disappeared down the street.