Sweet Vengeance (20 page)

"Damn,"
Jase whispered beside her, breaking the silence in the room.

Allie
moved back from the window, embarrassed she'd not turned away sooner.  Jase
cleared his throat as he joined her.  He raised his brows, letting out a low
chuckle.  "I guess it's good to know you don't lose it with age."

"Yeah,"
Allie agreed, suddenly overwhelmed by the temperature in the room.  "I was
just about to go for a walk."  She thought about letting him off the hook,
but then changed her mind.  "Do you want to come?"

Jase
hesitated and then nodded.  "Okay.  I wanted to talk to you anyway."

Not
another talk, Allie thought as they headed out the front entrance, leaving
Robert and Carole to their privacy.  Neither Allie nor Jase spoke until they
were out of sight of the house, with only a dirt trail leading the way through
the maple and fern covered landscape.  Boo had joined their walk, but he ran
ahead of them, poking his nose into lush green bushes, searching for something
to occupy his attention.

Allie
tucked her hands inside the warm pockets of her jacket.  Now that they were
outside, the temperature had cooled her heated skin.  Shadows deepened as the
sun made its descent.  Nearby, she could hear the tinkling of the stream as it
passed just beyond the trees.  "You have a beautiful life here, Jase.  You
should stay."

"I
have unfinished business in Chicago."  He slanted a warning glance in her
direction.  "You know that."

He
wanted to talk?  Fine, but he was going to have to listen, too.  "Yeah, I
know.  Your precious vengeance.  Do you have any idea what a waste of your life
that is?  Do you really think this is what your family would have wanted?"

His
jaw worked, showing his emotion.  When he spoke, his voice was low and
controlled.  "I honestly don't know.  I don't think they ever expressed
their wishes of what they'd like if they were gunned down on a dirty
street."

"They
wouldn't want you to live in Chicago, never knowing when a bullet will find
you."  She knew the topic would make him angrier, but damn it, he'd helped
her, and she wanted to return the favor, even if he didn't understand her good
intentions.  "They would want you to be here, remembering the good times
you had with them."

He
stopped in the middle of the trail and turned to her.  His eyes were dark, full
of the vengeful monster who lived inside him.  "Look, I know you grew up
on the streets, and you've seen some pretty crappy stuff during your lifetime,
but until you've watched your sister drown in a pool of her own blood, don't
pretend you know enough to psychoanalyze me."  He kicked a fallen tree
limb with enough force to send it flying through the air.  It cracked as it hit
hard against the trunk of a pine tree.

Her
breath caught in her throat.  She understood this side of Jase, but she didn't
like it very well.  He was in pain, and her heart ached for him, but until he
let go of the past, he'd never heal.  Maybe he wanted it that way.  Maybe
that's what kept him going.

Jase
turned and started walking again, the sound of his footsteps muffled by the
green plants growing over the trail.  Boo waited at her feet, letting out a
small whimper. 

Allie
hustled after Jase, not ready to give up, yet.  "I'm sorry," she said
as she finally matched his stride.  "I just want to help.  You're
hurting."  She took his hand.  "And I want to help you like you've
helped me."  She pulled him to a stop.  "Please."

But
it was too late.  His mask of indifference and self-control was firmly back in
place.  "If you want to help me, then go to college, protect your new
identity, and stay the hell away from Chicago."

She
blinked and took a step back, unsure of this new wall he'd placed between
them.  "Okay."

"That's
the best thing you can do for both of us."  He looked at her belly. 
"For all of us."

She
nodded, feeling her stupid emotions welling again.  Boo nosed her hand, and she
gave him a quick scratch behind his ear. 

Jase
reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a crumpled manila envelope. 
"This is for you."

She
didn't want to take it.  Somehow, she knew her future rested inside that
envelope, and in no way, shape or form did it include the man standing before
her.  That broke her heart.  He shoved the envelope toward her again, and this
time she took it. 

"I'll
leave you alone to read it.  Memorize every detail."  He eyed her, his
face a plane of hard angles.  "Your life depends on it."  He turned
and headed back toward the house.  Boo stayed beside her.

"Wait,"
she called out.  Her heart pounded hard in her chest.  "How long until I
leave?"

"A
couple of days," he said over his shoulder.

She
watched his retreating back, unshed tears putting pressure behind her eyelids. 
Her fairytale was about to take its last breath.  She looked down at his dog
who seemed to prefer her company and wished Jase wanted to be near her as much
as Boo did.

Allie
found a large boulder near the stream and sat down.  She pulled out a stack of
documents held together by a rubber band.  On top was a driver's license with
her photo on it.  It was the same photo she had on her current license, but the
name listed was Alexandra Fox.

No
matter, Alyson Jordan was now dead.  Never to be seen on the face of the earth
again.  If for some reason her aunt or cousins decided they missed her, they'd
never find her.  There would be no way to track her down.  In a few days, she'd
be all alone in the world.  All on her own.  The reality of that hit hard.  A
clean slate.  A new beginning.  It was like being born as an adult.  At least
she could still use Allie as a nickname if she wanted to...or maybe not. 

She
rifled through the rest of the papers, finding a social security card, a credit
card in her name, and a stack of cash totaling—she flipped through the hundred
dollar bills and then whooshed out a breath of air—five thousand dollars. 
Under that was her acceptance to the University of California, Los Angeles. 
Jase had thought of everything.  All she had to do was take the first step on
her own.  Walk out into the world and claim it. 

The
only problem was, nearly everything she wanted in the world had just turned his
back on her and had walked away. 

Could
she do the same?

*       
*        *

Allie
tried not to think about the limited number of nights she had left to sleep in
Jase's bed.  And she wouldn't consider the possibility he didn't want her there
that night.

She
waited until later than normal before she slipped out of her room.  Hopefully
he'd be asleep and wouldn't notice her coming.  She didn't want a fight.  She
just wanted to be next to him.

All
was quiet when she entered his room.  She couldn't hear his deep breathing
signaling he was asleep, but he didn't say anything, either.  As usual, she
softly lifted the covers and climbed in.  Serene moonlight drifted in through
his window, and she could see his closed eyes.  He didn't move, so she shut her
eyes, willing herself to sleep.  But it eluded her.  All she could think was in
a few days' time, she'd lose Jase forever. 

Forever.

It
seemed impossible, yet she knew it was true.  Forever.

Compelled
beyond reason, she scooted next to him and laid her head on his chest.  His
heart pounded beneath his ribs.  She slid her hand across the smooth skin of
his belly, her fingers trailing across the line of hair that led to his belly
button and beyond.  In all the days she'd slept in his bed, neither one of them
had crossed the line into personal touches since the first night in his home
when he'd pulled her to him while he was still half asleep.

But
now she couldn't resist.  She ached to touch him.  To memorize the feel of his
skin.  Desperation welled inside her as she skimmed her hand across the hard
contours of his chest.  Her hand brushed the bandage on his arm.  They'd been
through so much together, and she'd grown attached to him.  She wasn't ready to
let go, yet.  She turned her face into his neck and inhaled.  Would she ever
forget his scent?  Would she ever want to?  She pressed her lips against his
skin.

He
circled a muscled arm around her, crushing her against him.  "Allie,"
he whispered.

"I'm
sorry.  I—"  The rest of her words evaporated as his lips found hers. 

It
took her a moment to realize he wasn't pushing her away.  Her heartbeat slammed
into overdrive.  In the span of a few seconds, the subdued feeling in the room
shifted to white hot heat.  She lifted her hands, pushing her fingers through
his hair, holding him to her.  His tongue was firm against her lips and she
opened her mouth to receive his full kiss.  She didn't resist when he rolled
her over, pinning her with his weight, his mouth claiming hers with expert
force.

"Oh,
God," she whispered.  His kisses were hungry, demanding.  She couldn't get
enough of them.  She'd dreamed about this for too many nights, and now he was
here, holding her, loving her.  She wrapped her legs around his waist, feeling
the heavy weight of him settle on her center.  He was hard, and she lifted
against him. 

"Allie." 
His voice was breathless, raw.  "You shouldn't be here.  We can't do
this."  He kissed her hard, until she could barely breathe.  "We
shouldn't—"

"Shh." 
She pulled back from him, taking his face in her hands, meeting his glittering
gaze.  "I want this, Jase.  I want you."

With
a heavy sigh, he rolled on to his back.  Their pause was apparently enough to
give him seconds thoughts.  "Oh, hell."

She
followed him.  "You can't stop now."

"I
have to.  This is not fair to you." 

"Fair? 
This has nothing to do with fair.  I need you.  I need to be with you.  Just
one time before you send me away."  She moved closer to him, pressing her
breasts against his bare chest.  He rested a hand against her cheek as though
to put a barrier between them. 

"Can't
you give us this, Jase?  Just for one night.  Let's pretend we have no past and
no future.  Only now."

His
answer was a heavy intake of air.  

She
kept her gaze locked with his as she shifted her face toward his hand, her lips
touching the sensitive center of his palm.  She kissed him and traced a circle
with her tongue.  He didn't move, didn't say anything.  She nipped the base of
his thumb, then kissed the wild pulse in his wrist.

He
relaxed his fingers away from her skin, but she could feel the quickening of
his breaths.  She took his hand, circling her tongue on his wrist and then
kissed her way up his palm.  When she reached the tip of his middle finger, she
sucked it inside her mouth.  He inhaled a sharp breath, and she felt a
tightening in her core.  

"Just
tonight?" she whispered.

He
didn't say no, so she took it as a yes.  She straddled him before he had a
chance to change his mind.  She leaned forward and kissed him, trying to take
as much from him as she gave.  When he gripped both of her arms, she thought he
was going to push her away.  She twisted, grabbing his wrists and pushed them
to his pillow.  Her hair fell down the sides of her face framing them. 

"You
think you're that strong, do you?"  He chuckled, his voice low and husky. 
"You know I could toss you off me right now if I wanted to."  He
lifted his hands up a few inches to prove his point.  The sight of his muscles
flexing only added to her excitement.

"I
know."  She breathed and put more weight against his hands.  "But I
don't think you will."  He relaxed.  Her thighs tingled where they touched
his bare hips.  She'd been wondering if he'd still slept naked, but he was
always gone in the mornings before she woke up.  Now, she had her answer.

She
leaned forward giving him a soft kiss on the mouth.  "I think you like
this."

"That's
not the point."

She
straightened, settling back on him, feeling his hardness beneath her.  He
groaned, gripping her hips with his hands.  "Don't move like that
again."

"Can
I move like this, then?"  She smiled and pushed one thin nightgown strap down
her arm.  

"Allie,"
he warned.

"Or
this?"  She slipped off the other strap, allowing the silky fabric to
cascade down her body and pool around her waist.  She leaned forward, her hands
sinking into his pillow.  "It's not wrong if we both want it," she
whispered against his lips before claiming them with a kiss.

That
was all it took.  He tossed her over on the bed, slipping her nightgown from
her body in a fluid movement, the silk whispering against her legs before it
disappeared.  She tried to catch her breath.  He sat back on his knees, trapping
her with a heated gaze.  Her playfulness vanished.

Slowly,
he ran his splayed hands up her thighs, over her hips, stopping just below her
breasts.  His roughened fingertips sensitized her bare skin. 

"You're
soft.  I knew you'd be soft."

She
swallowed, wondering how many times he'd pictured them like this.  He leaned on
one elbow next to her, tracing his finger around her breasts.  She inhaled a
quick breath.  The anticipation was exquisite.  He bent his head forward and
licked her nipple.  It contracted it into a tight bud.  A ragged sigh slipped
from her lips.  "Jase."  When he sucked her nipple into his mouth,
the most intense feeling shot straight through her, contracting every muscle
inside her.  Oh.  She wanted more of that.