Sweetest Sin: Bad Boy Bundle (64 page)

Vince finished his story and looked at me expectantly. He was waiting for me to call him a liar and laugh in his face. I didn't do that.

"I believe you," I said softly. Vince looked taken aback, even more so when I continued to speak, "But it doesn't matter."

"Huh?"

"It doesn't matter. We fucked a few times and it was great, but you don't want anything more from me. And even though the sex was good it's been more trouble than it was worth this whole damn time. I'm so grateful that you could help me out with this shoot and I hope you know that, but I think that whole Sophie thing was a sign. It was the last straw. We shouldn't be together. As boyfriend and girlfriend, as friends with benefits. Whatever. It's all too stressful for me."

It was only when I'd finished speaking that I realized I wanted Vince to argue with me. I wanted him to grab me and tell me not to be an idiot, that we were meant to be together and I had meant so much more to him than just a fuck buddy. That I could call him my boyfriend if that was what I really wanted.

He didn't do that.

He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again. I looked into his eyes and he looked into mine and I had no idea what he was thinking but whatever it was, we weren't on the same page about it by a long shot. Before he could speak Jennifer interrupted.

"OK everyone! The shoot is starting! Get into your places and whatever you do, do not piss me off today!" she said.

"OK," said Vince. That was it.

Vince

I left soon after the shoot began because I didn't want to be in the same room as her anymore. I just couldn't do it. Jennifer tried to get me to stay but I told her that I wasn't feeling good and that I needed to leave right away.

“That's such a shame,” she sighed, “We really enjoyed having you around.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. Brett will take over for me, won't ya buddy?” I said. Brett, who was helping one of the models adjust her tiny shorts nodded eagerly at me.

“Sure, I'm happy to help.”

Lola had disappeared into the back room after our little discussion, so I didn't even get to say goodbye to her. Jennifer noticed this and offered to get her for me.

“No, no that's OK. I think Lola is sick of looking at me now,” I said, trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice.

Jennifer batted me playfully.

“Don't be silly! I don't know how anyone could get tired of looking at you!” She said. Before I left she shoved a piece of paper into my hand and hugged me again. When I got outside and looked at it I saw that she had scribbled down her cell phone number.

I tossed it in the trash. I was done with girls for the moment.

Lola

The shoot went just as well as everyone had expected. Apart from a few tantrums from the models that were soon subdued and a tantrum or two from Jennifer which weren't subdued quite so easily, it was smooth sailing. Everyone kept saying what a genius I was. It was nice, really.

Tim even gave me a huge bunch of flowers to congratulate me on doing so well.

“It's a miracle,” he said to me, when we got a second alone, “Jennifer's totally changed her mind about you. I'm really going to miss you around the office when you're working from home.”

I gave him a hug for being so sweet to me.

“Thank you so much, that's so sweet. You really shouldn't have. How did you know that I love tulips? Anyway you won't have to miss me, I'll still be around on Fridays. But thanks for being so sweet to me. Not just today, but always. You're a great friend, Tim,” I said and I could see that he was tearing up. It felt good to have someone be so proud of my achievement. In fact, it made me want to cry but I held it in. Today had been emotional.

I left the studio early even though Jennifer kept insisting that we should all go out for drinks to celebrate a job well done. I just wasn't in the mood, but I passed it off as being not quite recovered from my illness. My acting wasn't terribly convincing but my excuse was accepted and I was allowed to leave.

Even after all that, the walk home seemed long and lonely. The sun had just begun to set and the sky was filled with a million colors -bright oranges, warm pinks and a variety of beautiful coral shades. Maybe that could be the inspiration for our next shoot. Instead of Biker Chic we could have Sunset Chic. That idea wasn't have bad. Maybe all this hadn't been a fluke after all.

The flowers felt heavy in my hands as I dragged my heels along the pavement. I was so used to wearing high heels now but even I had to admit that a full day running around in them was too much.

Vince had been such a jerk to me and screwed me around so much. I knew that it wouldn't work from the start but I was still dumb enough to get invested and hope that he would change. That had been a waste of time. Men never changed, no matter how much you wanted them to. You either had to find that rare diamond in the rough who treated you well and was OK to look at or you had to do what most of my friends did and settle. Whatever happened, you could not bank on them changing. It just wasn't realistic for most men. It wasn't fair anyway. I was sure that Vince would prefer if I was a little sweeter and a lot less argumentative, but it didn't matter what he preferred. I was what I was and he was what he was and neither of us would ever change. That meant that neither of us would ever fit together perfectly as I had so desperately wanted and that I just needed to give up on that pathetic dream and settle.

Suddenly, a voice came from behind me. It was a male voice, almost breathless, and it was calling out to me. I spun around hopefully but my hopes were dashed when I saw it was Josh, the model, running towards me.

“Lola, Lola wait!” he said. I would have expected a male model to be a lot fitter but running seemed to really knock the wind out of his sails. I waited patiently and when he finally caught up with me I let him take a minute to catch his breath.

“Are you OK?” I asked. He was wheezing quite a bit. The last thing I needed was for him to have an asthma attack on my watch. I just wasn't equipped to deal with that now. Josh stood up straight. He was wearing his normal clothes again, just a plain t-shirt and jeans. They were a stark contrast to the weird leather BDSM style gear that he had been wearing for the shoot. The only sign that the shoot had taken place at all were the awkwardly placed tattoo transfers that ran up and down his arms. Vince really had made a mess of them.

“Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks Lola. I just get a bit tired when I run like that,” he smiled at me. His smile was big and goofy. He reminded me of a better looking version of my little brother, “Someone told me that you were walking home alone and I just wanted to make sure that you got back safe. Mind if I walk with you?”

I couldn't remember the last time that someone had cared if I got home safe. I was touched so I agreed.

“That's very sweet of you, Josh. Of course you can walk me home.”

Josh seemed to be ridiculously pleased at my answer. He didn't even mind walking slowly so that I could keep up with him in my heels. It was nice.

We talked about the shoot for a while. The poor kid was worried that he had messed it up.

“I've never been on a motorcycle before and I kept sitting weird on it. The director just kept yelling and yelling. Your boss didn't look happy either,” he said sadly. Jennifer never looked happy, so he wasn't in much trouble there.

“Don't be silly. Photographers always yell and Jennifer always looks like she just smelled some shit. If they were really unhappy with you they would have fired you on the spot. Trust me, I've seen it happen,” I said, shaking my head at the memory of the poor models who had taken Jennifer's rage on previous shoots.

“Yeah...well that Vince guy really didn't seem to like me,” he said. He glanced at me as if he was hoping that I would dismiss that idea just as quickly as I had dismissed the others. There was no denying it though. Vince had been too much of a prick to even think about it.

“Yeah well, Vince is difficult. I don't think he likes anyone,” I said, kicking a stray pebble on the pavement. Josh nodded.

“Yeah, he seems that way...but he likes you a lot,” he said. The poor kid must have been a little bit confused. It had been a long day for him, so maybe he was too tired to think straight. All he had seen was Vince and I arguing and calling each other names. How on earth could anyone interpret that as Vince being infatuated with me.

“I don't think so, sweetie. I don't know about you but most guys don't act like total dickheads when they like someone,” I said, “And he was being an absolute dickhead.”

“Hmm,” said Josh, “I don't know. I think some guys do act like jerks around girls they like. It's that old high school thing or picking on the girl you like most. It's stupid, but a lot of guys seem to just naturally do it.”

He waited for me to respond and when I didn't, he went on.

“I really think he was into you. Even when he was annoyed he couldn't keep his eyes off of you,” he said, “To tell you the truth, I was going to ask you out but I was afraid that he might fire me. Or kick my ass. Or fire me and then kick my ass. You're really cool Lola, but it just wasn't worth the risk.”

I looked around me. Could what he was saying really be true? Of course it could. Even when Vince was angry he was a total horn dog. He'd probably been staring at my tits and my ass the whole time and thinking about how he could get me into bed this time. Well he couldn't. He never would again.

I promised myself that and I meant it this time.

“Well Vince isn't around now. So you can ask me out if you want and no one's gonna fire you or kick your ass. Or fire you and then kick your ass. Or anything else like that,” I joked. Josh looked at me doubtfully.

“If I asked you, would you say yes?” he said, raising one eyebrow. I thought about it. He was a really nice guy and obviously very handsome. He had money from modeling and I knew he would treat me well. Even so, I couldn't.

I shook my head.

“No, I guess not. Sorry Josh, but I see you as more of a little brother type,” I said. Josh took the rejection graciously enough for a guy. Most of them got all offended when I said no to them but he just grinned at me.

“Damn, I saw that rejection coming a mile off. Never mind. I guess I'm just destined to be single forever,” he said.

“You and me both,” I said, “Why don't you just go after one of the models that you shot with. They're pretty girls.”

He shrugged.

“Tried that. They all say the same thing that you say. They really like me but they see me as more of a friend or a brother type. I just seem to give off that kinda vibe. Maybe I should get some real tattoos and a motorcycle. Girls seem to prefer bad boys these days,” he said. The idea of poor, sweet Josh putting himself through all that just to get a date made me giggle. If he couldn't get laid then what chance did mere mortals like me have?

“Hey, you shouldn't generalize. Not all girls go for that bad boy thing. I don't,” I said. It was Josh's turn to laugh at me now, “Hey, what are you laughing at? I'm serious. I like nice, clean cut guys with good table manners.”

“Seriously? So Vince counts as a nice clean cut guy with good table manners? Bullshit, you love bad boys. You love Vince.”

I felt my skin burning. Vince had been one exception and that was finished now. I would only go for good, college educated guys who didn't mind introducing me to their parents. I argued with Josh because I hated that he was right.

“I love Vince? Are you fucking crazy? He's just an unpleasant man that I had to do a photo shoot for. There's nothing between us, never was, there never will be. We probably won't even see each other again,” I said. Jesus. I had always heard that models were dumb but Josh was pretty sharp if he was able to pick up on the energy between me and Vince. Either that or we were both so obvious that everyone was able to pick up on it. I hoped and hoped that wasn't the case. The last thing that I needed was for Jennifer to grill me about my relationship with him.

“Are you kidding me?” persisted Josh, “You guys have ridiculous chemistry. I felt so awkward in the middle of it. It was obvious that he wanted to tear off all your clothes and go to town. I don't blame him, but jeez, he could have reeled it in a little. Are you seriously telling me that you two haven't slept together?”

I sighed. I didn't want to tell him but Josh was so easy to talk to that I couldn't help opening up to him.

“We did sleep together.”

I was planning on leaving it at that, but once I started to speak I couldn't seem to stop. I went on and on, telling him everything. I told him about the collision and what happened afterwards in my car. I told him about the night I got drunk and fell asleep on his bed. I told him about the morning after, when we had sex again. I told him about our meeting, and Sophie, and every little detail that I could remember. By the end I had tears in my eyes. No one had ever heard the full story before. It had just stayed as painful memories that floated around in my head up until this point. Every so often I would relive one and feel like crying again, though I could always hold back the tears. Explaining it all in one go forced me to go through all of it again. Every emotion, every feeling hit me at once and I could no longer manage to keep it together.