Sweetest Sorrow (Forbidden Book 2) (28 page)

"Yeah, I can," he said. "I can have it any way I want to have it. There's no law against me being a hypocrite. We're
all
hypocrites. No one is consistent all the time. But it's okay, you know, because there are exceptions. There are
always
exceptions. That's the way life is. And this? This is an exception. This is where we get to be hypocrites, because this isn't our secret to tell. If it goes south, we won't be the ones to
die
, so it's not up to us to decide. But this thing you have with Dante? That's on you. That's your secret. The fallout is yours."

She sighed loudly. "It could get ugly, though."

"You play with a poisonous snake, you shouldn't be surprised when the son of a bitch bites you," Gavin said. "I don't make the rules. I just, for some reason, get to be the one that constantly has to suck out the damn venom."

He flipped open his notebook again, like that was the end of the conversation, like he had nothing else to say about anything.

"Russo?" a voice asked as a young woman approached the table, holding a small bag. "Your order is ready."

"Thanks," Gabriella said, taking it from her. Once the woman walked away again, she turned back to Gavin. "You seriously do suck at this."

"Yeah," he muttered. "I should stop doing it."

"You should," she agreed, pushing her chair back. She stood up to leave when she ran smack into somebody walking past tables through the café. She stumbled, cringing as she caught an elbow right to the chest, the blow nearly knocking her back into the seat.

"Whoa, shit, didn't mean to hit you," a guy said, grabbing her arms to steady her. "You okay?"

"I, uh… yeah." She blinked a few times as she rubbed her chest.
Ouch
. "It was my fault. I should've paid attention."

"Nah, that was all on me," he said. "A guy always yields to a pretty lady."

Gabriella glanced at the guy, something striking her as familiar, like she'd seen him around. He offered her a smile, nothing sinister about it, but it didn't seem sincere, either. It was plastered on his lips, deliberately carved there.

"Hands off my cousin," Gavin said, his voice flat.

The guy pulled his hands away from her at once, his smile growing a bit, some genuine amusement shining through. "My mistake."

He skirted around her and disappeared to the back of the café.

Gabriella glanced at Gavin, whose attention was still fixed on his notebook. "Friend of yours?"

"If by friend you mean I'd be happy for the chance to send flowers to his funeral, then yeah, we'll go with that."

Huh
.

"Just be careful, Gabby," he continued. "You walk around with someone who has a target on their back and you're at risk of getting hit, because some guys, you know, they've got really shitty aim."

"I thought you were done giving advice."

"That was the last time," he promised. "You're a smart girl. I'm sure you can figure everything else out on your own."

Gabriella walked away, heading for the exit. Her attention bounced toward the back of the café, momentarily catching the guy's gaze as his eyes trailed her movements. The second he caught her looking, he smiled again, tossing off a small wave that sent her guard up, like a silent '
I'll catch you later
' when she'd rather he not
catch
her at all.

Gabriella spun back around, banging right into someone else.
What the heck is wrong with me
?

"Gabby, sweetheart, it's good to see you again!" Johnny Amaro grasped her arms to steady her. "You leaving?"

"Yeah, I was just grabbing some breakfast and visiting with Gavin." She motioned to his table as she clutched her bag of food. "I was helping him with his math homework or whatever."

"His math homework," Johnny said, eyes darting to where Gavin sat, working in his notebook. Johnny shifted out of the way, motioning for Gabriella to go around him, to step outside.

He followed when she did.
Uh-oh
.

"You doing okay, Gabby? No problems?"

"No. None. Everything's going great."

"That's good to hear," he said, the expression on his face betraying those words. He looked
concerned
. "You ever need anything, you know where we are."

"I'll keep that in mind."

She took a few steps when Johnny's voice rang out again. "That also extends to Dante."

Her footsteps faltered, but she didn't turn back around, forcing her feet to continue on, not wanting to go down that road with yet another Amaro.

When she reached the apartment, she stuck her key in the lock, but before she could turn it, the door flung open. Gabriella gasped, surprised, when Dante appeared, his hair a mess from sleep, wearing only boxers and his white undershirt.

"You're awake," she said, smiling at the sight of him. He looked almost
refreshed
, like he'd been plugged into a socket and given a fresh charge. His eyes shone bright, the dark bags diminished.

"And you were gone," he said. "That's the second time I've woken up in your apartment alone."

"I grabbed some breakfast," she said, shaking the bag at him as she walked into the apartment and shut the door.

"Casato, huh?" He eyed the bag as he took it from her. "
Nice
."

"I didn't really know what you liked, so I just got sandwiches," she said. "Egg, ham, provolone, something. I don't know. I've never actually eaten anything there before."

"Me, either," he said, pulling out the sandwiches and handing one to her. "Used to go with Genna all the time, though. She liked the place."

Gabriella grabbed some drinks from the kitchen and sat down beside Dante, picking her sandwich apart while she watched him eat. She wasn't hungry, but she'd wanted an excuse to wander across the street.

"So, just out of curiosity, how do you feel about the Amaros?"

He cut his eyes at her. "The Amaros?"

"Yeah, like Gavin…"

"Did he ask you to ask me that? Because I swear to fuck, if he sent a '
Do you like me? Check yes or no
' note with you, I'm gonna lose my shit."

She laughed. "What? No. I was just wondering."

"In that case, he's okay."

"Just
okay
?"

"I mean, I've always liked the guy. He never gave me reason
not
to like him. But if I ever got arrested, I'm not sure he'd be my one phone call."

"Who would be your call?"

"I don't know. Guess we'll find out when it happens."

"
When
it happens?"

"It's kind of inevitable, isn't it?" He shook his head. "My sister called me, you know. I was her one."

"Did you bail her out?"

"Never got the chance. My father intervened. And I guess, you know, he probably would've been mine. He used to clean up all my messes, but now, hell, I think I'd rather rot in jail."

"You could call me," she suggested.

"Impossible," he said. "The one time I asked for your number, you wouldn't give it to me."

She gazed at him, surprised. That hadn't even crossed her mind. Waltzing into the kitchen, she ripped a piece of scrap paper off of a notepad stuck to the refrigerator and scribbled her number down on it before walking back over to him. "Here, now you have it, so no excuses."

"Ah, I
always
have excuses," he said, taking it from her. "Like the fact that I don't even have a phone right now."

"What happened to your phone?"

"Same shit that always happens," he said. "Couldn't trust it."

"You couldn't trust your phone?"

"No, but I'll pick up a new one sometime this week… or next week… or whenever I feel like it."

"Excuses and complaints," Gabriella grumbled. "I think that might be all you're good for."

"Orgasms, remember? Christ, Gabriella. Are you
already
forgetting those benefits?"

"My bad, how could I forget that?"

"And anything else you need, all you've gotta do is ask," he said. "That was the deal we made, in case you forgot. I know we joke around about this shit, but I'm not kidding about that. There are
perks
to being with me, Gabriella. I'm at your disposal."

"
G
enna
?"

Music rattled from the small radio beside the back door, plugged in with an orange extension cord that weaved into the house. Oldies. Fifties. Songs Matty heard at work from the ancient jukebox. It was strange, hearing Genna listening to it, jamming out to The Penguins and singing
Earth Angel
at the top of her lungs. A set of tanned legs jetted out from beneath the jacked-up broken-down car, filthy bare feet digging into the dry dirt.

"Genna!"

He yelled her name, louder, when the song changed. Genna stopped singing, shoving out from beneath the car.

For weeks, she'd been working on it, pouring herself into it every chance she got, buying extra parts and blowing money on better tools all in some quest to get the damn thing running. Matty didn't question it...
much
. It was a distraction. A project. Something to focus on. So, he got it, but it worried him.

What would happen if she never got it started?

Would she take it personal?

For now, though, she looked content.

He hadn't seen her so happy since that first day they met, back in New York, before she learned how wrong he was for her. She was adjusting and settling, some of that burden on her shoulders lifting, like she truly believed they could make it on their own.

Sweat coated her flushed face, smudges of grease smeared along her skin. Her dark hair was wrapped up in a knotted bun on top of her head—unwashed, he gathered, since there was a twig stuck in it. A pair of cut-off jean shorts barely covered her ass, while a dark tank top clung to her, especially around her stomach. Matty's eyes were drawn right to it. Twenty weeks along, already halfway through the pregnancy. Time seemed to be
flying
.

"What are you doing?" he asked, dragging his eyes away from her to instinctively look for a watch he
still
hadn't replaced.

"Uh, messing with this little bracket thingy near the thermostat. It's crooked, so I'm trying to do the
Lefty-Lucy
thing to straighten it up but I
Righty-Tighty
'ed so good that the bitch isn't moving now, so I might have to break it off." She sat up, eyeing him warily. "Something tells me that's not what you're asking. What's going on?"

"What's going on is we have a doctor's appointment in an hour," he said. "If we don't leave soon, we're going to be late."

"I thought that was on Thursday."

"It
is
Thursday."

"Oh." Her eyes widened. "
Shit
."

Matty helped her to her feet. Dirt covered her from head-to-toe, the smell of sweat and grease clinging to her. Grime covered her hands, blood trickling down her right middle finger from a cut on her knuckle.

"You should be more careful," Matty said, looking at the small wound. "You should probably also get a tetanus shot."

She rolled her eyes, wrapping her arms around his neck as she kissed him. "What I
should
do is take a quick shower."

"No time." He stopped her before she went inside. "I'm not kidding, we have to go or we're going to miss the appointment."

"At least let me take a bitch bath. I'm
disgusting
."

"A bitch bath."

"Yeah, you know, wash the goods and all that."

She kissed him once more, her cheek brushing against his, transferring a black smudge along his jawline. Shaking his head, he wiped it off with his hand as she skipped inside, leaving the radio on,
Tutti Frutti
blaring from beside Matty's feet. He reached down and clicked it off before walking through the house, enjoying the stream of cool air coming from the vents. The air conditioner would never be strong enough to keep up with the outside temperatures, despite it being fall now.
October
.

He waited in the foyer, glancing at his watch. A minute passed, and another, and another… after five, he started pacing, and after ten, he grew anxious. "Genna, please, we've got to go!"

"Geez, calm your tits," she muttered, coming down the steps. "I'm ready."

Matty's eyes took her in. She'd pulled herself together, wearing a pair of black shorts and a crisp white tank top, all traces of dirt gone. Her hair had even been brushed. As she approached him, he could sense the perfume, the scent sweet and flowery, one he hadn't smelled before on her. "You smell nice."

"Yeah? It's kind of strong, and who knows how old it even is, but I figure anything's got to be better than how I did smell," she said. "I guess it belonged to the lady of the house."

"You are the lady of the house."

"The
other
one," she clarified. "Found it in a drawer in the master bedroom."

"I like it," he said, grasping her by the hips when she stepped into the foyer. He dipped his head, nuzzling into her neck, his nose running along her skin.

"Down boy," she said. "We've got to go, remember?"

He grudgingly pulled away. "I remember."

The small OB-GYN clinic was located in Las Vegas, a non-descript brown building near the University Medical Center. Guilt nagged at Matty every time he stepped foot into the place, every time he sat in one of those flimsy plastic chairs in the packed waiting room and looked around at those bland tan walls with nothing on them. The place was a non-profit, catering to the uninsured, the kind of place that didn't ask many questions and just did the work. Genna seemed to like the people, and she never complained about the care, but Matty couldn't help the feeling that she deserved so much more.

He should've been able to give it to her.

"Gallivant?" a nurse called, peeking her head out of the back. Genna just sat there, staring off into space, wringing her hands together. "Jen Gallivant?"

"Baby, that's you," Matty muttered, nudging her.

Genna's eyes widened as she stood, smiling at the nurse. "Sorry, I didn't hear you."

"No problem," the lady said. "Follow me."

Matty trailed behind as the nurse led them to a small room with no windows, barely the size of a walk-in closet. An exam table filled the center of it with a computer set up on the end. Genna climbed up on the table, her legs dangling, as Matty lingered beside her.

"They'll be with you in a moment," the nurse said, shutting the door to leave them alone.

"Are you nervous?" Matty asked as she wrung her hands together, picking at her fingernails.

"Why would I be nervous? I've had an ultrasound before."

True, but this time was different. The baby had been nothing more than a little blob on a monitor, a flickering dot of life, the last time they had one.

Matty reached over, grabbing her hand to stop the fidgeting. "It'll be fine."

She sighed. "But what if it
isn't
?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Because that's our luck? Because that's
my
luck? Because the universe wants to punish me for all the wrong I've done?"

"You haven't done anything wrong."

She laughed. "Are you crazy? Have I ever done anything
right
? What makes me think I'm equipped to be a mother? Me. Seriously, Matty…
me
. A
mom
. This is wrong. What are we even doing here? We've got no business trying to be parents. We're going to fuck this up. We don't know how. Look at who raised us!"

Matty stepped in front of her, standing between her and the door when her eyes darted that way. He grasped her other hand with his free one, squeezing them both, as he looked her in the eyes. "I love you, Genevieve Galante."

"I don't know
why
," she said, tears in her eyes. "I'm a fucking mess, Matty."

"You are," he admitted, smiling. "You're messy and neurotic and the furthest thing from
domestic
, but you're not afraid to get your hands dirty. You're stubborn, and persistent, and brave—so damn brave. And that's how I know you'll be a damn good mother, Genna. Because you love deeply, you love selflessly, and nothing stops you. Any kid would be lucky to call you mom, because you'll love them, you'll protect them, and you'll let nothing stop them from getting everything they deserve. What more could a kid want?"

"Someone who can cook chicken without giving everyone salmonella poisoning."

"Ah, that's what they have
me
for." Matty wiped her tears before nudging her chin. "So relax, because there's no reason to be scared."

He leaned down, kissing her, as the door behind him opened and someone walked in.

"Everything okay in here?" a soft voice asked.

"Everything's fine," Matty said, moving out of the way. He glanced across the room at the older blonde woman wearing pink scrubs as she settled in front of the computer monitor.

"Great," she said, smiling.
Always smiling
. "How about we get this show on the road? If you'll lie back on the table and lift up your shirt, I'll get started."

Genna obliged, rearranging her clothes to expose her stomach. The woman squeezed some jelly onto Genna's skin before spreading it around with the small wand of the ultrasound machine. Matty watched, his eyes trailing the curves of her stomach.

The second the woman clicked the monitor on, his eyes darted straight to it.
Whoa
.

A baby appeared. A real, live baby. Arms and legs, hands and feet, fingers and toes, every inch discernible and utterly perfect. Matty blinked a few times, watching in awe as the tiny human squirmed on the screen.

His gaze shifted back to Genna's stomach before he glanced at her face. She lay there, still, her eyes glued to him. The monitor faced away from her, at an angle she couldn't see, as the woman took measurements.

He smiled, watching the panic drain from Genna's face as she took a deep breath.

"Here you go," the woman said, turning the monitor toward Genna. "Have a look."

Genna's eyes widened. "Holy fuck."

Matty laughed. "That about sums it up."

The woman moved the wand around to different parts, counting fingers and toes, showing off the little button nose.

"Are you interested in learning the sex of the baby?" she asked after a moment.

"Yes," Matty said, the same time Genna said, "No!"

"Wait, okay, yes," Genna said as Matty mumbled, "We can wait."

The woman laughed. "How about I write it down and stick it in an envelope? That way you can decide later if you want to know."

"Perfect," Matty said, glancing at the screen again one last time before the monitor shut off, the image disappearing.

"I'll print some pictures and you can be on your way," she said, standing up. "I'll be right back."

As soon as the woman left, Genna sat back up. "Holy fuck."

Her hands went right to her stomach, the panic returning.

Oh shit
.

"You okay, Genna?"

"No."

"What's wrong?"

"There's a person in there."

"There is."

"It's got to come out somehow," she said. "A person is going to come out of me."

"It will."

"That's not normal."

He laughed. "It's probably the most
normal
thing there is."

"It's weird," she said. "We made a baby."

"We did."

"How the hell did we do that?"

"Well, when two people love each other…"

"
Shut up.
" She laughed. "I know
how
we did it, but wow. It's weird. I let you stick it in and part of you just stayed there, and it's growing. It's, like,
attached
to me. And then it's going to come out and be this person we're responsible for. We'll have to feed it, and water it, and keep it alive, when we can barely keep ourselves alive. Wow."

"
Wow
is right."

The door opened again, the woman returning, clutching a couple pictures and a small envelope. Genna took them from her, thanking her quietly, and the two of them left. Matty stopped by the front desk, paying some cash for the visit, as Genna flipped through the stack of photos, in a trance.

She said nothing as they left the clinic, nothing in the car on the way back home. She was still staring at the photos when they headed in the house.

"I'm going to shower for real this time," Genna said, handing the stack over to Matty. She held the envelope out also, hesitant to let go when he grabbed it. "I don't want to know yet. The fact that it's a baby is enough. Any more information might make my brain explode. But you can look, if you want. Really, you should. But don't tell me. Not yet. Okay?"

"Okay," he said.

She disappeared upstairs as Matty strolled to the living room, propping the ultrasound photos up against the broken picture frame beside the couch, the one of the peculiar family that Genna refused to let him throw out. He stared at the envelope before slipping his finger beneath the flap, tearing it open.

He pulled out the slip of paper, seeing the simple word scribbled on it in pen.

Boy
.

* * *

"
Y
ou sure
you don't want me to drive you?"

Dante stepped out of the apartment building, holding the door open for Gabriella to follow. She offered him a small smile of gratitude at the gesture before shrugging off his question. "I'm sure. Besides, I kind of like taking the subway."