Read Sweetest Sorrow (Forbidden Book 2) Online
Authors: J.M. Darhower
"Oh, quit your bitching." Genna struggled to haul herself up onto the counter, bowl in hand. "Seriously, I don't remember you complaining this much before. You used to be so agreeable. What happened?"
"I died."
"No, you didn't," she said. "And neither did I, for the record, which means our best-friendship pact is still intact, so I'm gonna need Gavin to take a seat on that one."
Dante smiled to himself as he swirled the ice cream around in his bowl, mixing it all together. "So, where are you staying?"
"I don't know," she said. "I was so focused on getting back to New York that I didn't really think about what happened afterward."
"Stay here," he said, shrugging.
"What about Matty?"
"What about him?"
"He needs somewhere to stay."
Dante swirled his ice cream around a little more ferociously at that. "I'm sure I can find a ditch somewhere for him."
"Dante…"
"I don't like it." Dante tossed the bowl down on the counter without eating any of it. "I don't like
him
. Not a fucking bit. There are few people I like
less
, frankly."
She narrowed her eyes, biting her ice cream, teeth clanking against the metal spoon. "Game's over, remember? World War Whatever has come to an end. He's the lone surviving Barsanti. Time for a peace treaty."
"I don't give a shit about him being a Barsanti. That's not why I hate him."
"Then why?"
"Because he fucked my little sister. He got her pregnant."
Genna rolled her eyes. "If it makes it any better, he married me."
"You
married
that asshole?"
"I mean, we had to use fake names so it's not really legal, but…"
"Good. That means don't have to go through the trouble of divorcing him, since it didn't count."
"It
did
count. It counted to me."
"And you call me crazy."
"At least I risk my life for love. You risk yours for nothing, going to Soho to see Barsanti, like you're welcome there or something."
"I went to ask him why he let me live."
"Did he answer you?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because Matteo was dead."
"Seriously?"
"He said enough people died. He didn't want my blood on his hands. He thought Matteo was dead, so I guess that means I got to live."
"Huh, you know, in a way—"
"Don't say it."
"—that means—"
"Stop."
"—Matty
totally
saved your life."
"No, he didn't."
"Yep, he did," she said, "which means you owe him."
"I owe him
nothing
."
"You do, so you have to cut him some slack. Give him a break. He's a good guy, whole Barsanti thing aside. When we were away, he got a job. He worked in a diner for minimum wage just so he could try to give me a life, a real life… a safe one, like normal people have. He baked me cakes any time I wanted them. He didn't complain when I blew every penny he made on some project to keep myself busy. He ate pickles on pizza, for Christ's sake. Gabriella isn't the only Saint. The guy puts up with
me
. So you don't have to like him, but just… respect him."
"Does he respect me?"
"Doubtful."
That didn't surprise Dante.
He laughed under his breath, watching as his sister swirled her ice cream around, melting it, before drinking it right out of the side of the bowl. Silence surrounded them, and maybe it was the whiskey still sloshing through his veins, but Dante no longer felt the tightness in his chest, no longer felt that gaping hole that had been there when he woke up in the hospital.
"I need a drink," he said, pushing away from the counter to stagger through the kitchen.
"Wait, we're supposed to be sobering you up here, not letting you get drunker."
"I'll sober up tomorrow," he said, spinning her direction. "In the past forty-eight hours, I was dragged to a meeting with the heads of the families, I witnessed Dad kill Barsanti before somebody killed Dad, I punched my now ex-best friend Gavin after my former friend Bert was murdered, I walked out on my girlfriend, and my pregnant sister came back from the dead to tell me she married Matteo Barsanti. So I need a drink, Genna… especially if you expect me to give you my blessing. I
definitely
need a drink for that."
* * *
"
D
ante
?
Psstt
… Dante!"
Genna grabbed her brother's shoulder and shook him hard. He barely moved, laying flat on his back across the black couch in their father's office, clothes disheveled and only one shoe on. His eyes were closed, his chest rattling from snores.
"Damnit, Dante," she grumbled, shaking him. "Wake up!"
He stirred a bit, rolling over, shrugging her off and grumbling, facing the back of the couch. Genna scowled, looking around the bright room. It was well after sunrise, and Matty had to have been worried, since she'd never returned. She'd spent all night at the house, going to sleep in her parents bed, while Dante passed out on the stiff couch… same one her father used to always sleep on.
It looked uncomfortable. How the hell had the man slept there every night for
years
?
"Wake up, Dante," she said once more, giving him a moment. No response.
Fuck this
. Sticking her pointer finger in her mouth, she sucked on it, getting it good and wet before plunging it right in his ear,
twisting
.
Dante jolted, rolling over so fast he damn near fell off the couch. Grabbing his ear, his eyes opened to greet her standing above him.
It took a few seconds. Confusion. Annoyance. Total fucking
shock
. Eyes wide, he sat straight up, staring like he was seeing a ghost and seeing that ghost for the very first time. "Genna?"
His voice was as gritty as sandpaper, obviously uncomfortable, based on the way he grimaced, gripping the side of his head. He blinked, the whites of his eyes painfully pink.
Genna sighed. "Don't tell me you were so drunk last night that you forgot I was even here."
"No, I remember." He scrunched up his nose, making a disgusted face. "Did you just
wet willy
me?"
"You wouldn't respond."
"I was sleeping."
"But I needed you to wake up."
"Why?"
"Because I need to leave."
And just like that, panic flooded his expression. "Leave? You
just
fucking got here!"
"I don't mean
leave
-leave. I mean I have to leave the house. Matty's probably worried."
"So?"
"So I need to go see him and let him know I'm alright."
"Ugh." Dante scrubbed his hands over his face. "What time is it?"
"Ten in the morning."
"What
day
is it?"
"Monday, I think…"
"Month?"
"March." She tried to stick her finger in his ear again, but he blocked her attempt. "The
first
of the month, actually, in case you lost track of that."
"I'd have lost track of my dick lately if it weren't attached to my body."
"You used to lose track of what you stuck it in even though it
was
attached."
"Ha-ha." He climbed to his feet, swaying. "Where's my other shoe?"
Rolling her eyes, Genna grabbed his discarded shoe from the doorway. He slipped it on, not bothering to tie the laces, and wandered out of the office.
Genna trailed him, watching him stagger. "Are you still drunk?"
"Probably."
Laughing, Genna followed Dante outside, damn near running right into his back when he stopped in front of the house. "A Lincoln Continental?"
Genna slipped past him as he stared at the car. "You like it?"
His gaze shifted her way. "It's yours?"
Grinning, she pulled out the key, dangling it in front of his face. "It wasn't even running when I found it. I spent the past few months working on it. Impressed?"
"Absolutely," Dante said, approaching it. "Not really surprised, though. You gonna let me drive it?"
"Nope."
"Then I'm not impressed anymore."
Genna rolled her eyes, looking around. "Where's the Mercedes?"
"Got rid of it."
"How are you getting around?"
"I got a new car. It's parked somewhere.
Hopefully
."
"And that is precisely why you're not driving my Lincoln," she said. "Another thing you'll lose track of. But anyway, I'm guessing Matty's still at your apartment. Ugh, it's weird that you have an apartment. You have a
girlfriend
."
"Says the girl who's having a baby soon."
"Okay,
this
?" She waved at her swollen stomach. "This was a happy accident. But
that
?" She waved toward him. "That is you being a mature adult."
"A mature adult."
"Yes."
"Did you know she was my nurse? That I met her at the hospital? That I showed up at her apartment one night, bleeding, and asked her to fix me, and then I kind of just kept going back, because I had nowhere else to go by then? That's not a mature adult. That's a fortunate degenerate."
Genna laughed. "She actually put up with that?"
"She almost shot me once when I broke in, but otherwise, yeah."
"You know, the more I hear about this girl, the more I like her. I need you to get your shit together and work that out."
"I hear you."
Genna grabbed her brother, pulling him into a quick hug. "I'll see you in a bit, don't worry. Just, like, take a shower or something. You
reek
of alcohol."
"Yeah, yeah, get out of here," he grumbled. "Go see your precious Matteo."
Genna scowled, sticking her tongue out at him before getting in the car and driving away. She headed back to Little Italy, approaching the building just as someone opened the door. She slipped around them and trekked upstairs, drained by the time she reached the top floor. Her stomach cramped, tightening, and she clutched hold of it, grimacing. "Not yet, kid.
Not yet
."
Genna knocked, hearing movement inside, the sound of high heels approaching before locks shifted, the door opening. Gabriella stood in front of her, wearing a long sleeved black dress and heels.
"Hey, come in," she said, stepping out of the way. "Matty
just
fell asleep."
Genna glanced toward the couch, seeing Matty curled up. "I'm guessing he was up all night."
"You guessed right."
"Figures." She looked back at Gabriella. "Nice dress. You got plans or something? If so, you know, we can get out of your hair."
"Oh, no, I've just got a meeting this afternoon. By all means, stay. I know the apartment is small, but you're welcome here for as long as you want."
"I appreciate that," Genna said.
Gabriella ran her fingers through her curled hair. "So you saw him?"
"Dante? Yeah."
"And he's okay?"
"He was drunk as a skunk and about to fall off the balcony railing when I got there, but he seems better today. Hungover, but okay."
Gabriella nodded but said nothing, heading into her bathroom.
Genna strolled over to the couch and whispered, "Matty?"
The second his name came from her lips, he shot straight up. "Genna."
She plopped down beside him, shoving into his arms as he relaxed again. He pressed a kiss to the side of her head, his hands caressing her stomach as he held her.
"Did you save me some pizza?" she asked.
"Of course."
"Does it have pickles on it?"
"You know it does."
Smiling, she closed her eyes. "You're too good to me, Matty-B"
He nuzzled against her, humming in her ear, "Never good enough, Princess."
F
resh
out of college with a bachelor's degree in nursing, the first place Gabriella applied for a job was Presbyterian. She figured it a long shot, being as she was inexperienced, but they took a chance on her, offering her a position.
It took a few years to secure the job in the ICU, and she floated for a while before the fateful day Dante Galante appeared. Years of hard work, long shifts, and concealed heartbreak; years full of losses with not so many happy endings. She imagined working there for the rest of her life.
Guess plans change sometimes
.
Because one thing she never imagined, one thing she couldn't have planned for, was that she'd end up in the stifling boardroom, surrounded by staff with the power to discipline, listening as the Chief Nursing Officer laid out infraction after infraction. The unwritten rule was a six-month minimum: after seeing a patient professionally, six months had to pass before you could see them personally.
Gabriella had barely waited six
hours.
"Now's your chance," the woman said, motioning for Gabriella to speak. "You have the opportunity to defend yourself."
Lie
, Dante had told her.
But she was sick of lying. Lying meant denying him. It meant discrediting everything that happened, like there was something shameful about it.
And heck, maybe there was.
Maybe she was supposed to be ashamed… ashamed of herself, ashamed of
him
… but she felt nothing of the sort. Despite the hot water it had her in, despite the chaos loving him caused, he'd been one of the greatest things to happen to her. She saw in him something she didn't see in many others.
Civility
. Ironic, maybe, considering the life he'd been living, considering the family he'd been given, but that just made it all the more powerful. Despite the odds stacked against him, Dante tried to live with honor. And maybe he failed sometimes, but oh how he tried…
"It's true," Gabriella said, looking around at the stern faces as shock set in. Everyone seemed stunned by her words except for Crabtree. He wasn't surprised in the least. "Although, I guess we see it differently. I know it's a morally gray area, being with Dante Galante… I was aware of that from the beginning. I took care of him when nobody else wanted to. The nurses gossiped, and the doctors sneered, and they all avoided him, writing him off, breaking every rule in the book. His medical information was shared in the halls. His wishes were disregarded like what he wanted didn't matter. He was treated more like a prisoner than a patient, but I gave him a chance. When nobody else was around, I was there. And maybe it's wrong, that something grew out of that, but I'm not the only one in the wrong."
"Maybe so," Crabtree said, "but
your
actions are the ones being discussed today, not any conceived slights you believe occurred."
"And fraternizing with patients isn't just a gray area," the CNO chimed in. "It's also a dangerous one. It's taking advantage."
Gabriella tried to keep a straight face, but she laughed at that.
Crabtree's eyes narrowed. "Something funny, Nurse Russo?"
"No… well, yeah, it is kind of funny, because if you think Dante Galante is the kind of man that someone can take
advantage
of, you've clearly not spent enough time with him. Which is sad, considering you were his doctor. The fact that you think
I
had the power to persuade him is laughable. Flattering that you think so highly of my abilities, but still…
wow
."
The doctor glared at her.
Gabriella knew she had not a chance in the world of walking away from this. It was the beginning of the end. Even if it weren't a terminable offense, which it
was
, they'd fire her out of spite.
"We have no choice but to take action against you, Nurse Russo," the CNO said. "And due to the seriousness, the state nursing board will have to be notified, so they can assess the impact this will have on your license, if any."
It would, without a doubt. Gabriella was certain. "So, you're firing me?"
"We're going to give you an opportunity to resign," Crabtree said. "If you turn in your resignation letter, clearing the hospital—"
"Of any wrongdoing," Gabriella said, interrupting. "Save you from shouldering the blame for
anything
and you'll let me save face."
Crabtree nodded. "You know how it goes."
"I do." Everybody's always worried about their own behinds, not caring what happens to anyone else. "But I'm sorry, you're going to have to fire me, because I refuse to do that."
Gabriella didn't give them time to respond, not wanting to be there when it played out. They'd take a vote, one that would be unanimous, and terminate her on the spot, declaring her services no longer needed. She'd heard of it happening to others, fired for stealing medication or neglecting patients, but she might've been the first to be fired for loving a patient they all hated.
At least Grey's Anatomy got something right
, she thought as she strolled out of the hospital, her head down, arms wrapped around her chest to ward off the cold that even the sunshine couldn't suppress.
The future keeps changing, and when you finally catch up to it, it's never how you expected it to be
.
"How'd it go?"
The quiet voice made Gabriella stop short, her high heels planting in a pile of slush on the sidewalk. Looking to the metal bench along the building, her eyes met Dante's inquisitive gaze. She took in his unruly appearance, his messy bed-head and wrinkled clothes, fixating on his untied shoes. "Well… it seems I'll have a lot more time on my hands in the future."
"Sorry to hear that," he said, standing up. "They'll never find another like you. You're one of a kind, Nurse Russo."
"Thank you," she whispered as he paused in front of her. "I always had the best of intentions."
"I know you did."
"Too bad that's not what pays the bills," she said. "I'll have to find a different job. I don't foresee another hospital hiring me after this."
"Someone will," he said. "They'll take one look at you and instantly know your worth."
"You think so?"
"I do," he said. "If
I
could find someone to believe in me, you've got it made. And besides, you know, you've got me. I can cover the rent and whatever else you need."
"Ah, do you have a job now?"
"No, but I can find something," he said. "I hear there's a diner across the country with a recent job opening."
"Sounds like a long commute."
He shrugged. "We do what we have to do."
Gabriella looked him over, smiling sadly when he wrapped his arms around her. Closing her eyes, she breathed him in. "You smell like a bar again."
"You smell like Heaven."
Gabriella tolerated it for a moment before her nose started to twitch. "Seriously, you stink."
"I was supposed to take a shower, but then I realized what day it was and what was happening. I wanted to be here for you. It was more important than showering."
"My nose disagrees," she said as he pressed a kiss to her temple, "but the rest of me is grateful."
Dante pulled away from her, taking a step back. "I also have something to give you. I've had it for a few days, but well, shit happened, and everything went crazy, and I kind of haven't found the right moment to give it to you yet. But when it's the right person, when you've found the right one, I don't think any moment is
wrong.
"
Dante reached into his pocket for something, and a swell of intense dread washed through Gabriella, strong enough to make her knees weak and hands shake.
Oh God. No. No. No
. She grabbed his arm, pinning his hand in his pocket, drowning in irrational panic. "Don't do it."
Dante's eyes widened. "What?"
"Look, I love you," she said, shaking her head.
Ugh, how to explain this
? "I love you with everything inside of me, Dante. I do. When I look at you, I feel it, and I know there's nobody else in the world for me. But I just… I've never been that kind of girl, and
ugh
, I seriously hate weddings, and I would say yes, if you asked, but I need time to
prepare,
so I don't think proposing—"
A sharp bark of laughter cut off her flustered rambling. "Whoa, whoa, whoa… you think I'm
proposing
?"
"You're not?"
"Hell no." He made a face, which he quickly straightened back out, looking apologetic. "No offense. I love the fuck out of you, Gabriella, but marriage? Right now?"
She exhaled sharply. "Oh, thank God."
She let go of his arm, motioning for him to proceed with whatever he was doing.
"Anyway," he continued, "the other day, you know, I went to Michaels."
"I remember," she said. "Still have no idea who Michael is, though."
"
Michaels
, Gabriella. The shop."
"What?"
"That place with all the crafts."
Her brow furrowed. "Why would you go there?"
"I saw this flyer in the newspaper, this thing they were having, you know… this class… so I figured
fuck it
, why not?" Pulling his hand from his pocket, he opened his fist. "So I went."
Diagonally across his palm, blue, white, and purple string weaved together in a v-shaped pattern, the ends hanging loose. Her jaw dropped open as she stared at it.
A friendship bracelet
.
"You made that?"
"Yeah."
"For
me
?"
"Yeah."
Tears filled Gabriella's eyes, ones she couldn't hold back. She covered her mouth with her hands, concealing her goofy grin, stifling the sob that threatened to escape, as emotion flooded her. He'd made her a friendship bracelet, a real one, with string he'd braided together by hand, the pattern all messed up in the middle like he'd lost his place and forgot how to do it, but yet he forged on. He went out of his way and had gone to a class, a class that was probably full of excited children, making presents for their friends.
"I bet it was nothing but kids, wasn't it?" she asked, her voice strained as she tried not to cry. "A bunch of little girls?"
"Yeah," he mumbled. "I'm probably on a watch list somewhere now. You should've seen the way they looked at me, grown ass man taking a kid's workshop. Not my finest moment. I told them it was for my girlfriend, but I don't think they bought that shit."
Gabriella couldn't hold it back anymore, tears streaming down her cheeks as laughter burst from her. She threw herself at him, clinging to him, hysterical. "You're such a friggin
idiot
."
He sighed. "I know I am."
"Never change," she whispered. "I swear to God, I don't know what I would do if you ever changed your stupid ways."
"Yeah, well, I can pretty much promise that won't happen. If I haven't learned my lesson yet, I doubt I ever will."
"Good." She pulled back, grasping his face, staring into his eyes. "I'll happily drink your poison."
"I'll never ask you to." He grabbed her hand and pulled it away from his face to loosely knot the bracelet around her wrist. "Although, someday I will ask you to marry me.
Someday
. Because your family will kill me if I don't, so prepare yourself."
She ran her fingertips along the bracelet, swallowing thickly. "What kind of benefits does that come with?"
"Benefits?"
"Yeah, I've already got rides from work and orgasms and macaroni and foot rubs. What do I get if I marry you?"
"Jewelry?"
"You just gave me a bracelet."
"My last name?"
"I prefer Russo."
"Half of everything I've got?"
"I think I've got more than
you
."
"Conjugal visits?"
That one made her pause.
Huh
.
"Come on," Dante said, pulling out his keys before draping his arm over her shoulder. "Let me drive you home from work one last time, you know, for old time's sake, while you consider if marrying me is worth it if it means I'll still get to fuck you when I inevitably land my ass in prison someday."
* * *
T
raffic was
light on the drive to Little Italy. They encountered more green lights than red. Not a single police car trailed them. No one cut them off or got in their way. When they arrived at the apartment, a car parked in front of the building pulled away. Dante swung right into the spot, parallel parking to perfection.
He'd never been a big believer in luck. If it existed, he'd been dealt the shittiest hand around. But as everything seemed to fall into place, things turning around, he had to wonder if maybe it was his time.
Maybe he'd just been stockpiling luck over the years, hoarding it like a crazy cat lady with a house full of shit, and time had come for him to cash in his chips.
"I'm really sorry, you know," Gabriella said, taking his hand as he stepped onto the curb, pulling him to a stop beside the car. People moved past them, going about their business. "It wasn't right that I kept the truth from you."
"I get it," Dante said. "It wasn't your secret to tell. Besides, there's something I should've told you. Something I did last year… something you deserve to know."